Naruto Primer Lost Chapter: All
Team Morale
We explored the idea of having a "dance" chapter for quite some time. But the only problem was, if it were a dance then it would inevitably have to end up having numerous pairings, which is SO not our thing. It works for most people but not us. So, instead, we made this...which works for us.
"I know!" said Asuma, slamming his fist down on the table. "We could split them up into random groups and have them each build a boat! Then they could see who gets to a certain destination first!"
"Asuma…I don't see how that's going to boost team moral." Kakashi said.
"How about this?" Kurenai suggested as she put a flier down in the middle of the table.
"The Annual Konoha Teen Social?" Gai read, picking up the paper. "It's a good idea, but certain students would NEVER make an appearance at that sort of thing and therefore, we would not boost team moral." He tossed the paper behind him.
"What if we just—" started Asuma as he picked up the flier.
"You can't FORCE Neji to go to a dance." Gai interrupted.
"Same with Sasuke." Kakashi continued.
"Shino would NEVER go to a dance…even if you paid him…" Kurenai sighed.
"And I guess Shikamaru wouldn't either…" Asuma admitted. "Even though he IS a chuunin…"
"It's impossible to boost team moral for ANY of our teams if at least one student from each team doesn't go." Kakashi said.
"Unless…" Gai said, scratching his chin.
Later that night…
"I can't believe Kakashi scheduled training on the same night as the Annual Konoha Teen Social!" Sakura said in a very exasperated tone as she and Naruto made their way to where Kakashi had asked them to meet.
"And, to add to it all, he's making us train where we can SEE the dance and hear the music!" Naruto added, pointing to the academy that was bouncing around with music notes coming out of it.
"Technically, we're not even teens…" Sasuke pointed out.
"Ages eleven to nineteen!!" Sakura yelled, practically shoving the paper in Sasuke's face. "Oh…I was going to ask you to go with me, Sasuke…"
"I would have said no." Sasuke replied.
Before Sakura could erupt into waterfall tears, Ino, Shikamaru and Chouji came out of nowhere.
"What are you three doing here?" Ino asked.
"Kakashi's making us train!" cried Sakura.
"On the night of the dance?" Ino gasped. "So is Asuma!! And I was going to ask Sasuke to go with me!"
"I would have said no." Sasuke said.
"Dances are troublesome." Shikamaru said.
"Don't you think it's weird that of all the nights and times in the entire world, Asuma randomly chose right here and right now for us to train?" Chouji wondered out loud.
Before Shikamaru could answer and tell Chouji that he most DEFINITELY thought it was weird a long time ago, Kiba, Hinata and Shino were standing there!
"Hi everyone…" Hinata said nervously.
"Did your teachers as you to train here too?" Kiba asked.
"Yeah." Said Naruto. "I think JUST so we couldn't go to the dance!"
"Ha!" said Kiba. "Dances are for pussies anyway!"
"HEY!!" came the voice of Lee. Everyone turned around to see Lee, Neji and Tenten just arriving. "Dances are not for pussies!! If Gai hadn't announced that we had to train during the dance, I would have asked Sakura to come with me to the dance!"
"…I would have said no." said Sakura.
"NOOOO!!" Lee yelled dramatically as he collapsed to the ground in a heap.
"Where are our teachers anyway?" Neji asked. "Have they come by yet?"
"No." said Shikamaru.
"I say that if they don't come by in the next ten minutes then we should all go to the dance!" Ino announced.
"Kakashi would KILL us if we did that." Sasuke said. "Well… except me."
"Why, do you think you're special or something?!" demanded Naruto.
"No, I'd just be able to fend him off." Sasuke answered. "And I wouldn't have gone off to the dance anyway. And, yes, I AM special."
"SASUKE…!!" Naruto yelled, shaking his fist at Sasuke.
"I wish I could have gone to the dance…" Hinata said, looking at the lights that were peaking through the windows of the academy.
"Yeah, me too." Said Kiba.
"I thought you said dances were for pussies." Shino said.
"I was kidding." Kiba lied.
Just then, Gai, Kakashi, Asuma and Kurenai appeared out of nowhere.
"Greetings, students!!" said Kurenai.
"Why did you ALL schedule training on the day of the dance?" Sakura asked immediately. "It's suspicious."
"That it is." Said Kakashi. "And we will now explain."
"Originally, we had thought it would be a good way to build team morale if we FORCED you all to go to the dance." Asuma started.
"But then we realized that morale would probably be low considering there was a hefty amount of people who probably didn't want to go." Gai said.
"So, instead, we're going to allow people who want to go…to go." Kurenai said.
"YAY!!" cheered everyone who wanted to go.
"ONLY IF…" Kakashi said, getting attention again.
"…What…?" said the sad people who now had a condition they to abide by.
"Only if you can convince all the people who don't want to go…to go." Asuma finished.
"You have to either incapacitate them to the point in which they have no choice on the matter or you can negotiate on friendly terms!" Gai said. "So this will not only be a training experience, but a team morale building experience!"
"How will it build team morale if you're putting us up against our own teammates?" questioned Kiba.
"No one can go to the dance unless all twelve of you are going." Kurenai said, ignoring Kiba's question.
"So everyone who doesn't want to go to the dance, please let yourselves be publicly known." Kakashi said.
Everyone who didn't want to go raised their hands. After the two groups were apparent, the eight people who WANTED to go got in one group to strategize while the other group of four strategized.
"Aw man…" said Naruto. "Sasuke, Neji, Shikamaru and Shino…"
"We can beat Shikamaru!" said Lee.
"Shikamaru is a chuunin!" Asuma said. "You of all people should know that!"
"Why me above all people?" Lee said, looking confused.
"And I can win Sasuke over with my sexiness!" Ino said.
"Man, we can't beat up Neji and he wouldn't be convinced to go even if we PAID him…" Tenten said.
"And…Shino…" Naruto said slowly.
"Guys, what are we worried about?!" said Kiba. "It's eight against four!! We'll be able to beat them no problem!"
"Kiba, in case you haven't noticed, we're up against Shino, Neji, Shikamaru and Sasuke." Hinata said.
"So?" Kiba said. "I was up against their moms last night!"
"You know, insulting their moms doesn't mean anything unless they're here to hear it." Tenten said.
"Sure it does!" laughed Kiba.
With the defiant group…
"All right, I have a strategy for us." Shikamaru said. "We just…DON'T agree to go to the dance."
"Why don't we just agree so they can all go to the dance and we can suck it up for a few hours?" Shino asked.
"Because that would be the nice unbastardly thing to do." Sasuke said.
"Oh." Shino said.
"Did the teachers say that we were allowed to fight back?" Neji wondered.
"Obviously." Said Shikamaru. "I think it would be unfair if we were just supposed to stand there and take their attacks."
"WAIT!" Naruto yelled suddenly. Everyone turned around and looked at him curiously. "Kakashi, is there any looking underneath the underneath involved in this thing you're asking us to do?"
Kakashi looked like he went into deep thought for a moment. He was about to answer, but then he had to think some more. "Actually…no…" he said.
"Oh good." Said Naruto with a sigh of relief.
"Wait…" Kakashi said. "Strike that. There IS looking underneath the underneath in this. But just a little bit."
"There's none." Gai whispered to Naruto.
"Yes there is." Said Kakashi since Gai wasn't exactly whispering very quietly.
"Hey guys, I have an idea!" Ino said as she whispered her great idea to her teammates.
"YEAH!!" cheered her team.
"When does this dance end?" Shikamaru asked the teachers.
"Eleven." They all answered as a unit.
"How troublesome…" Shikamaru said. "It's only about seven o'clock now. That's a long time to have to deal with psychotic people who are obsessed to going to a dance."
"I'm not obsessed!" Kiba said. "I just want to convince you guys to go because Hinata wants to go!"
"That's so nice of you, Kiba!" said Hinata.
"Can't you guys be a little compassionate for the people who want to go to the dance?" Naruto demanded.
"Can't YOU guys be a little compassionate for the people who DON'T want to go to the dance?" Sasuke retorted.
"That's all right, guys." Said Lee. "The reason why they don't want to go is probably because they don't even know how to dance!"
"Reverse psychology isn't going to work, Lee." Said Neji.
"I know." Said Lee. "We were only supposed to distract you guys."
As soon as Lee said that, the group of people who were defiant about going to the dance spun around to see Ino standing there.
"Shintenshin no Jutsu!" she yelled, performing her hand seal. None of them really had any time to react and since she was just aiming towards the group that they were standing in, it was pretty random who she finally ended up catching with her wrath.
"I have officially decided that I want to go to the dance!" Sasuke declared as he moved his hand around in a girlish fashion. "More so, I'm going to ask Ino if she wants to go with me!"
"Hm…" said Kakashi. "I don't know if we should allow that."
"Come on, she got him to say yes!" said Sakura. "Even though he's going to the dance with ME!"
"Asuma, really." Shikamaru said, knowing that he could convince Asuma to do ANYTHING as long as he was wearing his chuunin vest.
"Er…well…" Asuma started.
"It doesn't matter what Asuma says!" Gai declared. "Because we have all telepathically decided without Asuma that that is allowed! So now only these three are left to convince!"
"YAAAY!!" cheered Sasuke as he jumped around foolishly. Even though everyone knew that it was actually Ino inside Sasuke, it still looked REALLY REALLY weird. "One down, three to go!"
"We'll be at that dance in no time!" Tenten said happily.
"Well, we're just not going to let ourselves fall for that one again." Shikamaru said to Shino and Neji.
Ino returned to her own body and left Sasuke there to recover and try to figure out what had just happened. Then, once he realized it, he stood up and started right for where the group of people who wanted to go to the dance were standing then. Then he punched Naruto.
"HEY!" Naruto yelled. "What was that for?!"
"I couldn't very well punch INO could I?!" Sasuke said angrily.
"Really Sasuke?" Ino said. "You care about me?"
"No, you're just too weak and I don't pick on the weak…unless it's Naruto." Sasuke answered.
"The time is slowly ticking away…" Kurenai sighed. "I would think you'd all try to do this fast so you could have more time for the dance!"
"We all just have to focus our attack on one person at a time!" announced Naruto, pointing at Shino, Shikamaru and Neji. "Starting with Shikamaru!"
"Stop just screaming our plans!" Sakura yelled.
"It's a pretty lame plan." Shikamaru said, rolling his eyes. "Man, this is so troublesome…"
"So none of you are going to agree by nice, kind negotiations?" Hinata asked, wanting to try every possible route BEFORE beating anyone up. Or at least, watching other people beat up some more other people. I doubt she would or COULD potentially beat anyone up, especially Shikamaru the Chuunin, Shino with his bugs or Neji…WHOA.
Neji, Shikamaru and Shino shook their heads.
"CHARGE!!!" yelled Naruto.
Everybody charged at the smaller group with exception of Sasuke who only stood in the corner and pouted. This was an activity that he was looking forward to because he wanted to fight people and prove to everyone that he was better. Now, because of some cheap shot, he had to sit by and watch as everyone else got to fight and prove that they were better. Of course, none of them were better than HIM but they could have potentially been better than each other.
As previously decided, everyone was going towards Shikamaru. Shikamaru probably would have just announced that he actually DID want to go to the dance in fear of being harmed when Shino jumped in and all his bugs appeared.
"EWWW!!!" all the attackers yelled as they ran far away.
"HEY!" yelled Kiba once they were at a safe distance. "We were going after Shikamaru, not YOU!"
"YEAH!" agreed Naruto. "Wait your turn!"
"Uh…thanks Shino." Said Shikamaru.
"I don't feel like doing this anymore." Shino decided. "I'm just going to suck it up and I think you two should as well."
"It's easy for YOU to say that." Said Sasuke. "No one wants to obsessively dance with YOU."
"Whatever." Said Shino with a shrug.
"That's TWO!" Chouji said. "Oh Shikamaru, won't you agree? It'll be fun to go to the dance and hang out with the other teens in the village!"
"Do we have to stay at the dance the whole time?" Shikamaru asked the teachers.
"Yes." Kurenai answered.
"Sorry, Chouji." Said Shikamaru. "I don't think I can deal with that much annoying booming music. Plus, eleven o'clock is really late and I'll be asleep by then."
"But Shikamaru, we'll end up getting you by then and you'll have to go to the dance ANYWAY!" Ino said. "And it'll be less troublesome to just give in now because then you won't have to fight us AND go to the dance. You'll just have to go to the dance."
"A very moving argument…" Asuma said, rubbing his chin.
Shikamaru thought about that for a moment.
"Shikamaru, you're not serious, right?" Neji said before Shikamaru could REALLY answer. "What happened to our strategy where we don't give in no matter what?"
"But Ino's right." Shikamaru pointed out. "Besides, if I give in now then I won't have to do anything. They'll just be chasing you around trying to get you to go the dance so they can go to the dance while Sasuke, Shino and I just sit around and do nothing. So, as long as you don't agree, that's the most ideal situation for me."
"Right…you're saying that I distract them all night so YOU don't have to do anything?" Neji said with a raised eyebrow.
"Yes." Shikamaru replied.
"Or you both could just suck it up for a few hours and go so it saves us ALL the trouble." said Lee.
"I refuse to go to that dance." Neji said. "EVER."
"Good luck." Said Shikamaru, sitting down.
"I would just like everyone to know that if not for Ino's trickery, I would ALSO be refusing to go to the dance!" Sasuke announced.
"But now you HAVE to go!" said Ino contently.
"I know." Said Sasuke, crossing his arms and frowning. "Unless…Neji succeeds in his mission to evade all of you all night."
"Am I sensing another potential loop hole here?" Shikamaru said.
"Sure, you ARE allowed to help the remaining person!" Gai said warmly.
"I am not going to that dance." Sasuke said as he stood up and grabbed Neji's arm. "So it looks like I'll have to protect you."
"I don't need your protection." Neji said, stepping away from Sasuke.
"Sure you do." Sasuke said.
"No I don't." Neji insisted. "So don't touch me."
"Then at least FOLLOW me." Sasuke said.
"Fine." Neji said, crossing his arms. With that, Sasuke ran off and Neji followed.
Everyone else stood there stupidly for a minute or so.
"Wait a second!" said Naruto. "They're getting away!"
"GET THEM!!" Sakura yelled.
The angry mob then chased after Neji and Sasuke as the teachers, Shino and Shikamaru all hung around and shrugged each other.
"Neji, what is the last place anyone will ever think of looking for you?" Sasuke asked.
"Uh…I don't know." Neji said. "I doubt most people would even know where the first place is they should start looking for me."
"Then I suppose we should find someplace secure instead." Sasuke said.
"I can defend myself, I don't need to HIDE all night." Neji said.
"I just don't believe that." Sasuke said frankly. Neji looked like he was about to start arguing but Sasuke put his hand up to stop him. "Neji, you lost to Naruto. You can't win against all of them."
"I'm never going to live that down." Neji said with a sigh.
"So you keep going and find someplace where no one will ever find you and hide out there until 11:01." Sasuke instructed. "I'll stay here and distract them."
"This goes against everything I stand for." Neji said but he left anyway because he didn't want to go to the dance either.
Then the mob reached Sasuke.
"Where'd Neji go?!" demanded Lee.
"I don't know." Sasuke said. And it wasn't a lie. "But if you want to go any further, you have to get by me first."
"Well I'M not fighting Sasuke." Said the girls with a collective groan.
"There's no way I'd be able to beat him…" Chouji and Kiba said almost at the exact same time.
"I'LL fight him!" Naruto announced.
"Don't bother, Naruto, leave it to me!" Lee said, moving Naruto aside. "I've already beaten Sasuke once and you haven't. I have a better chance of beating him."
"Hey, we can just double team him!" Naruto said.
"I think it would be best if only I did it!" Lee continued, making sure Sakura got a glimpse of his good side.
"No way, Lee!" said Naruto as he started pushing Lee a bit. "You have the best chance of finding Neji since you know him the best!"
"I think you'll do a FINE job finding him!" said Lee as he pushed Naruto back. Pretty soon, they were engaged in a slappy fight and were pulling each other's hair.
"Looks like my job is easier than I thought." Said Sasuke, rolling his eyes. But then he took that opportunity to count the amount of people. "Hey…isn't there supposed to be…eight of you?"
Everyone looked around to see that Kiba and Hinata weren't there.
Kiba and Hinata were being productive.
"Come on, Hinata!" said Kiba. "We have the best chance of finding someone! You can use your Byakugan and Akamaru and I will sniff around!"
"Do you think anyone will notice that we left?" Hinata asked.
"It doesn't matter!" laughed Kiba. "By the time they realize we're gone, we'll have already found Neji!"
"What happens once we find him?" Hinata questioned.
"Uh…" Kiba started, realizing that he hadn't considered that. "Well, we can observe him from a bush for a little while and then when he drops his guard… POW! And that's that."
"That's so nice, Kiba." Said Hinata even though she knew that plan would NEVER work, especially against Neji who not only cannot be secretly observed but would never drop his guard either. But she didn't want to burst his bubble since he was so determined to get her to that dance.
Neji could see and sense Kiba and Hinata coming a mile away. He wasn't too worried though because they were only Kiba and Hinata. So, instead of running away and finding a place to hide, he only continued on his merry way. This also clued him in that he would not be able to find a suitable hiding spot since Kiba could smell stuff unless he… you know… went in the water. But it's not like Neji will do THAT especially since it's only Kiba and Hinata.
So when Kiba and Hinata finally DID find Neji, they both hid in a bush. Hinata knew that Neji knew that they were there, but Kiba didn't know that Hinata knew that Neji knew… and Hinata knew she couldn't tell him that everyone knew except for him, even though he THOUGHT he knew what was going down. You knew that!
"I know," Hinata whispered. "How about we go back and tell everyone where he is instead of trying to do something on our own?"
"That's a good idea Hinata!" said Kiba loud enough for Neji to hear. But Neji wasn't concerned. He only ignored them.
Then Hinata and Kiba left to get everyone else.
Everyone else, meanwhile, was only waiting for Kiba and Hinata to get back since Ino had LONG since Shintenshin no Jutsu-ed Sasuke and then allowed them all to tie her to a tree while she was possessing Sasuke and then LEAVING! HAW HAW HAW!!
"Sasuke, you're so lame for falling for that twice." Said Naruto.
"Shut up, Naruto." Said Sasuke, scoffing.
Hinata and Kiba came back at that exact moment.
"Come on!" said Kiba. "We know where Neji is!"
"I'll stay behind and keep Sasuke company!" said Ino.
"No, that's MY job!" said Sakura.
"Ino, we might need you to use the Shintenshin no Jutsu again!" said Chouji.
"Aw man…" Ino said sadly as Sakura stuck her tongue out at her. So the crew minus Sakura and Sasuke went off to where they were being led by Kiba and Hinata.
Neji knew that there was now a massive group heading towards him so, instead of continuing to stand there like a fool, he finally intelligently left to hide. They remained hot on his trail for the majority of the night and then they finally thought up a brilliant strategy. Split up!
"All right, it's already 10:15 so we have to do this fast." Tenten said.
"It doesn't matter that he can see us if he can't do anything about it!" Lee announced. "So all we have to do is SWARM from all directions!"
"That sounds like probably the worst plan I have ever heard." Kiba said. "But I can't think of anything better so that's the plan!"
Neji had stopped to catch his breath. He was wondering why he was no longer being pursued by a group of angry people who were WAY too obsessed with going to a dance. Then he realized that they were all around him like… THINGS… that are… all around him…
"HA!" laughed Naruto, holding many ninja weapons. "Now you HAVE to come or else!"
"Only Sasuke is unstable enough to actually kill someone to get what he wants." Neji said. "Well…I guess I am too…but still, that means that you don't have anyone who would ACTUALLY attack me."
"Um…" said the group of seven.
Just then, the four teachers appeared out of nowhere.
"Hey, are you guys still chasing each other around?" Asuma laughed. The four of them threw their heads back and laughed.
"What's so funny?!" said Kiba.
"Well…it's 10:30 now and you guys actually think you could get two more people to go to the dance…" Kurenai said, looking at her watch.
"TWO?" said everyone.
"DUH." Said Gai. "You only got two people to agree. That means there are still two people from the original four."
"Because Shikamaru never ACTUALLY agreed." Kakashi clarified, realizing that the students were having a hard time looking underneath the underneath.
"Oh man…" said Ino. "I give up. I'm going home and going to bed."
"Yeah, me too." Kiba said.
"Is it really already 10:30?" Hinata said, looking nervous. "My dad will be angry that I stayed out past my curfew…"
"And Sakura and Sasuke have already gone home." Asuma said. "And so has Shikamaru."
"I don't even know why I was so passionately doing this in the first place." Chouji said with a shrug.
"If Sakura's not going then I have no reason to." Said Lee sadly.
"Hey!" yelled Naruto. "We still have time for the dance! It's only two people! We practically have Neji caught! Shikamaru's sleeping! It'll be easy!"
"Give it a rest, Naruto." Said Tenten.
So the seven went back to the houses.
"Shikamaru planned it all along, didn't he?" Neji asked the teachers. "Sent ME running around like a fool so he could go come?"
"Yes." Said Asuma. "Remember, that's why he's a chuunin and you're not."