Aftershock
Gendo stared out of his office window, hands clasped behind his back, silent. He was the only one who hadn't gone to Shinji's funeral.
He turned from the window, his face cloaked with sadness and despair. Shinji.
He sat down at his desk, opening a drawer and removing a small sheet of paper. With a nearby pen, he quickly scribbled a few words, leaving it on the corner of the desk so someone would be sure to find it. Reaching into another drawer, he extracted something else, laying it down in front of him.
He let the memories wash over him now, memories he had tried so hard to forget, to lock away. His son's birth.the death of his wife.leaving Shinji.They flooded over him, driving him deeper into his grief. Everyone he cared about was gone now.
He had no reason to live.
His mind made up, Gendo picked up the gun, put it to his temple and pulled the trigger.
***
"Commander Ikari, I have the files you asked for," Maya said, knocking on Gendo's office door. When there was no answer, she knocked again. "Commander? Are you in there?" She pushed the button and the door slid open.
The room was pitch black.
"Commander?" She took a step forward, brow furrowed. He had said he would be in his office all day.
'I'll just leave the files on his desk,' she decided, groping for a light switch. She found it and turned it on.
And screamed.
***
Misato shouldered her way past the medics and into the office. Gendo's body had been covered with a white sheet to hide the sizable hole in his head. The vice-commander, now the new commander, was speaking softly with a few of the military generals but stopped when he saw Misato.
"Captain. I was wondering when you would show up," he said, his voice somber and deep.
"I came as soon as I heard," she said, sweeping back some of her hair. "Did he leave any notes or any explanation?"
"All we found was this note on the corner of his desk." The vice-commander handed her a slip of paper, splattered with Gendo's blood. Hiding her look of disgust, she skimmed it.
First Child Eiro Narikage
"What does this mean?"
"That's what we're trying to figure out. I'm having all available personnel do a search on the name. So far we've come up with nothing."
"How's Maya?"
"She'll be all right. Slight shock from finding the body, but otherwise, fine. I sent her home for the day and told her to call if she has any problems." Misato nodded.
"Alright. Is there anything I can do here?"
"No, thank you, Captain. You should go home as well. I know Shinji's death was hard on you." The woman said nothing as she turned and went out of the room.
***
The apartment felt so empty.
Misato wandered down the halls of her small apartment, unsure of what to do with herself. It was six p.m. Shinji usually had dinner ready by then.
She slid open the door to the boy's room, her eyes misty with unshed tears. The small space was impeccably clean, nothing out of place. The cell phone he had never used still sat on a small table that also held his unfinished homework. She padded over to the table and picked up one of the worksheet. She couldn't help but smile when she saw the doodles along the margin, one of his little habits when he got bored or was stumped.
"Misato-san? Are you here?" Asuka appeared in the doorway, her face, usually bright and cheerful, somber. The older woman looked up from the paper.
"Hello, Asuka."
"How are you doing?" She took a step forward, a little unsure of herself. She hadn't been overly fond of Shinji, this was true, but still felt the sting of his death. Now that he was gone, she felt the full weight of the situation with the angels and knew it was up to her and Rei to protect the city.
"I'll live," Misato said softly, laying the paper in the exact place she had found it. "How about you?" The red-head shrugged.
"I'll live as well." She was quiet for a moment, then: "I never got to say how sorry I was for terrorizing him all those times or how much I admired him for his skill with Unit 01."
"Don't let it trouble you, Asuka. Shinji is.was a smart boy. I'm sure he knew how you felt." She nodded, biting on her lip, and blinking back tears. "Asuka.there's something else you need to know."
"What?"
"Commander Ikari.he shot himself this afternoon." The girl's mouth dropped open a little.
"H-he what?"
"Shot himself. Maya found him just after the funeral. He left this on his desk." Misato held out the piece of paper so she could read it.
"Who's Eiro Narikage?"
"No one knows. Commander Ikari didn't leave any other note but this one." Asuka furrowed her brow a little, thinking hard. She had liked Shinji (sort of), but had detested Commander Ikari. There had always been something about him that had unnerved her. "Are you okay?"
"Hmm? Yes." She gave Misato a little smile. "As okay as I'm going to be anyway. I think I'll miss Shinji more than the Commander."
"We all will."
***
Rei ran her fingers over the frames of Gendo's broken glasses, her face showing nothing of what she felt. First Shinji, now Gendo.
Two people she cared about.
With an inaudible sigh, she looked up, her red eyes flicking around her apartment aimlessly. There were so many feelings inside of her right now, she couldn't sort any of them out. One thing was clear however:
She would never care about anyone ever again.
Gendo stared out of his office window, hands clasped behind his back, silent. He was the only one who hadn't gone to Shinji's funeral.
He turned from the window, his face cloaked with sadness and despair. Shinji.
He sat down at his desk, opening a drawer and removing a small sheet of paper. With a nearby pen, he quickly scribbled a few words, leaving it on the corner of the desk so someone would be sure to find it. Reaching into another drawer, he extracted something else, laying it down in front of him.
He let the memories wash over him now, memories he had tried so hard to forget, to lock away. His son's birth.the death of his wife.leaving Shinji.They flooded over him, driving him deeper into his grief. Everyone he cared about was gone now.
He had no reason to live.
His mind made up, Gendo picked up the gun, put it to his temple and pulled the trigger.
***
"Commander Ikari, I have the files you asked for," Maya said, knocking on Gendo's office door. When there was no answer, she knocked again. "Commander? Are you in there?" She pushed the button and the door slid open.
The room was pitch black.
"Commander?" She took a step forward, brow furrowed. He had said he would be in his office all day.
'I'll just leave the files on his desk,' she decided, groping for a light switch. She found it and turned it on.
And screamed.
***
Misato shouldered her way past the medics and into the office. Gendo's body had been covered with a white sheet to hide the sizable hole in his head. The vice-commander, now the new commander, was speaking softly with a few of the military generals but stopped when he saw Misato.
"Captain. I was wondering when you would show up," he said, his voice somber and deep.
"I came as soon as I heard," she said, sweeping back some of her hair. "Did he leave any notes or any explanation?"
"All we found was this note on the corner of his desk." The vice-commander handed her a slip of paper, splattered with Gendo's blood. Hiding her look of disgust, she skimmed it.
First Child Eiro Narikage
"What does this mean?"
"That's what we're trying to figure out. I'm having all available personnel do a search on the name. So far we've come up with nothing."
"How's Maya?"
"She'll be all right. Slight shock from finding the body, but otherwise, fine. I sent her home for the day and told her to call if she has any problems." Misato nodded.
"Alright. Is there anything I can do here?"
"No, thank you, Captain. You should go home as well. I know Shinji's death was hard on you." The woman said nothing as she turned and went out of the room.
***
The apartment felt so empty.
Misato wandered down the halls of her small apartment, unsure of what to do with herself. It was six p.m. Shinji usually had dinner ready by then.
She slid open the door to the boy's room, her eyes misty with unshed tears. The small space was impeccably clean, nothing out of place. The cell phone he had never used still sat on a small table that also held his unfinished homework. She padded over to the table and picked up one of the worksheet. She couldn't help but smile when she saw the doodles along the margin, one of his little habits when he got bored or was stumped.
"Misato-san? Are you here?" Asuka appeared in the doorway, her face, usually bright and cheerful, somber. The older woman looked up from the paper.
"Hello, Asuka."
"How are you doing?" She took a step forward, a little unsure of herself. She hadn't been overly fond of Shinji, this was true, but still felt the sting of his death. Now that he was gone, she felt the full weight of the situation with the angels and knew it was up to her and Rei to protect the city.
"I'll live," Misato said softly, laying the paper in the exact place she had found it. "How about you?" The red-head shrugged.
"I'll live as well." She was quiet for a moment, then: "I never got to say how sorry I was for terrorizing him all those times or how much I admired him for his skill with Unit 01."
"Don't let it trouble you, Asuka. Shinji is.was a smart boy. I'm sure he knew how you felt." She nodded, biting on her lip, and blinking back tears. "Asuka.there's something else you need to know."
"What?"
"Commander Ikari.he shot himself this afternoon." The girl's mouth dropped open a little.
"H-he what?"
"Shot himself. Maya found him just after the funeral. He left this on his desk." Misato held out the piece of paper so she could read it.
"Who's Eiro Narikage?"
"No one knows. Commander Ikari didn't leave any other note but this one." Asuka furrowed her brow a little, thinking hard. She had liked Shinji (sort of), but had detested Commander Ikari. There had always been something about him that had unnerved her. "Are you okay?"
"Hmm? Yes." She gave Misato a little smile. "As okay as I'm going to be anyway. I think I'll miss Shinji more than the Commander."
"We all will."
***
Rei ran her fingers over the frames of Gendo's broken glasses, her face showing nothing of what she felt. First Shinji, now Gendo.
Two people she cared about.
With an inaudible sigh, she looked up, her red eyes flicking around her apartment aimlessly. There were so many feelings inside of her right now, she couldn't sort any of them out. One thing was clear however:
She would never care about anyone ever again.