What's this light? What happened to the pain -- to the blood-red waves of horrible darkness? What was that-- that tore through me-- ripped my soul out-- ripped her soul out--?!
"So you're awake now too, huh?"
Zoro brought his dazed eyes to meet Sanji's, and felt a distinct discomfort in seeing his eyebrows without the curl. The cook was looking very grave, but not nearly as bad as Zoro was feeling... The green-haired swordsman shut his eyes and gave himself a mental shake. It helped; the empty feeling eased up a bit. So he opened his eyes again to scan the room.
Nami was avoiding everyone's gaze, her eyes fixed at a wall. Her eyes looked red-rimmed, her cheeks stained. Her hair was out of its bun, and fell in loose half-curls that framed her face to her shoulders. It looked as awkward as Nami would have looked wearing a wig. Why hadn't he noticed how weird it had looked before?
His eyes flickered over to Usopp. The Going Merry's sniper was looking shell-shocked. Zoro realised Usopp looked so much like his past self it didn't seem strange at all, other than the fact he wasn't wearing goggles but glasses. His usually bright and expressive eyes were shut down and listless now, however, lost in a chasm of thought, and Zoro quickly looked towards the boy who had awakened them.
To his immense surprise, Kale was asleep.
"He hasn't awoken yet."
Zoro looked at Usopp in surprise, and the young engineer seemed to have picked himself up again. His eyes were still dull as he spoke his next words, however.
"I don't know about Kale, but the rest of us woke up in the order... uhm... the order we died."
Nami's hazel eyes flicked at Usopp, narrowed, but she did not say anything.
Suddenly, Kale's eyes flew open and he let out in a small voice,
"Wh-what mother @#$%ing shit."
He closed his eyes, breathing in deep breaths, as though he had been running a marathon. Then he calmed down and opened his eyes to meet the rest.
"Right,"
He said, his voice more prompt and regular than his previous cursing,
"I suppose you all get it now."
They blinked, unsure of what they were supposed to get. Usopp spoke up uncertainly,
"You mean, get how we died?"
"We?"
Zoro turned to the direction of the high-pitched, wavery voice. It was Nami, who was looking angrily at Usopp.
"Why should we connect those people to us? They were in our past lives, weren't they?"
"Nami, what on earth are you saying?! They are us."
Usopp said, shocked, when Nami let out a snort.
"Are you kidding me? That girl who-- who looked like me -- she acted completely different. I never would have done that."
"You mean... you don't believe?"
Sanji asked, his eyes downcast as he spoke. Nami refused to meet his torn gaze as she snapped,
"I don't see what there is to believe. Isn't it obvious they're-- I mean, this kid's just trying to make us believe something this dumb? It doesn't make any sense. Maybe it's some weird hypnotic psychological shit this kid's performed on us. I wouldn't know. But I do know I refuse to take part of this ridiculous--"
What happened next was so unexpected no one realised it in time to stop him. Kale stood up, strode over to Nami-- then punched her over the head. She stopped, half-choking in mid-sentence, and Sanji's eyes glared into the angel.
"What the hell was that for?!"
"Shut up!"
Kale yelled so suddenly the cook silenced out of shock, then turned his irritated eyes to Nami's stubborn ones.
"You moron! Who are you trying to kid?! For God's sake, listen to me. You really think I'm just here to snag a couple of random blokes? I thought you were supposed to be smart, Miss. Navigator."
"Oi, oi,"
Zoro said, his eyes darkening,
"I wouldn't go over the line that far, if I was you."
"Well you aren't,"
Kale snapped,
"And that's what I'm here for. I'm supposed to awaken you. God warned me you may not listen, and to bring along another angel, but nooooo, your captain just had to insist that you guys would be smart enough to realise without he--"
"You met Luffy?!"
Usopp exclaimed in surprise. Kale blinked, then groaned.
"Yeah... it's not that simple, though. Right... let me start again."
He flopped back into Sanji's desk chair before he started to speak.
"What I meant to say before was I suppose that you all get how and why things are the way they are. Apparently not. So I'll explain for, if anything, Nami's trust."
The navigator started to laugh when Kale snapped,
"This would go a lot more quicker if you'd just get through your bloody denial."
She shut up, glaring at him, and Kale ignored her as he continued,
"Okay. Let's start with the one who died after the captain, eh?"
Usopp winced.
"Yeah, you. Usopp. You were heavily impacted at the face of death, quite obviously. You didn't fully accept your death when it happened. I think you were more in shock than anything else before you died. So in other words, you died with the lingering thought of 'why me? why now?'. You know, the 'I don't believe this' complex."
Kale sighed, settling back in the chair as he went on,
"So that's why you have a particular link with your past life. You even look a whole lot more like your past self. It's because you didn't let go of the past yet. So God has informed me that you'll either constantly be in depression and spaced out or have frequent dreams of your past self."
Usopp's jaw dropped open.
...He had started having the strange dreams since primary school. At his younger age, he had dreams of a home with a set of parents in a place of green fields and trees, with blue skies. It was incredibly weird; he could remember every single detail of every dream he had, and it actually *made sense*. It was as though his dreams were of an alternate universe; another world with another life...
"Th-that's why I have those dreams?"
He said, shocked.v
"Oh, so you've got the dream thing, have you? Yeah, your mind is sub-conciously gripping onto memories and yanking them into your dreams. You've got a deep connection with your past self. I'm guessing all of you have had visions at least once or twice by now...?"
Usopp nodded, but Nami was glaring at her hands, Sanji was giving her down-cast glances and Zoro was looking completely weirded out. Kale shook his head, sighing, but continued,
"Well, you guys are gonna continue to get visions as you continue living, now that you've been Awakened. Usopp's gonna get the brunt of it since his visions are going to effect him badly. But I'm pretty sure Nami's gonna get problems with her visions, too. See, most of you will have had visions, but because you hadn't come into terms with your past-selves, you'd've forgotten what you'd just seen. It's a little hard to describe, but it's like something's missing, I should think...
"But... then again... don't you ever get those moments where you feel like you've missed something? Like... you have remnants of something deep inside your mind... but when you start to draw it out, they disappear, and you feel like you were thinking of something you can't remember?"
"I get what you mean,"
Zoro intervened, his eyes slightly unfocused as he frowned in concentration. Nami blinked in surprise.
"It happened to me several times during the dinner-dance..."
"Same here!"
Nami cried. Usopp sweatdropped.
"I... just get them occasionally. Moments where I'm sure something happened, but..."
"You can't remember what. That's what I mean."
"By any rate, Usopp is most likely gonna be the most affected from you guys should any visions come to him... particularly the memory where he dies.
'What am I doing here?'
Usopp wondered in complete confusion. This wasn't normal... no, it wasn't only not normal-- panic seemed to fill him as he realised - everything around him - it wasn't-- it just wasn't -- RIGHT----
Usopp's heart clenched at the thought, and he pressed a hand to his ribs, momentarily locked in painful pressure. Seeing this, Kale seemed to remember something.
"I nearly forgot. Chest pains and headaches. You guys might be getting that a lot, too - it's either that or spontaneous bursts of unreasonable hysteria in either laughter or tears. Don't ask about that. Anyhow, if you've experienced any pains in the heart or head in particular for no apparent reason, that'd be a psychological effect. Particularly if you have a painful or longing past-life memory, and if you are reminded of it unconciously, your body will react with pain temporarily.
...Usopp's heart was pounding loudly in his chest, his ribs aching and his throat throbbing, and his brought his eyes upwards. The girl turned to look in surprise at the sudden young man amidst all the ruckus. Her violet eyes widened, and she gasped as their eyes met in startling recognition. His glasses slipped down his nose as she stared at him. Tears formed at the corners of her eyes, and a hand reached out towards him. He looked at her, and the pain in his chest disappated...
'...That was why it hurt, Kaya? ...Because I never got to tell you another story?'
Usopp shut his eyes as he contemplated.
Nami's eyes were strained as she bit her lip tightly. Kale noticed, and spoke in decidedly gentler tones next.
"That's why Nami, who had still not 100% adjusted to the idea of friendship yet, went absolutely bonkers when the cook jumped in to save her. It was just too much for her; someone who truly cared about her had died in front of her again, and this time, she took it in to be entirely her fault.
...Nami's breath caught in her throat as Sanji's voice resounded behind her, the voice carrying familiarity that reached further than her mind and reached achingly deep...
"So Nami, you're probably reacting to Sanji with either major headaches and chest pains and an unexplained hatred, or you'll grow suicidal and teary for no reason around him.
Nami felt her chest contract painfully, and covered her cringe with a clearing of her throat, anguish filling her - almost burning her.
"And you probably, being typically Nami, kept all of this to yourself and hid it with lies and acting. You're better at that than Usopp.
...Nami was very good at covering up what she really felt. She could conjure up words she didn't really mean very quickly, her tone and her attitude automatic in locking her character into what she was saying. Not even close friends could know what Nami really thought when she made a quick opinion up on the spot to cover up what she truly felt...
..She tossed her hair back, an action most people she knew, including Vivi, took as an incredibly snobbish move.
"I don't know how many girls have rejected you, but you can't be this desperate. Or dense."
Snapping her head away, she turned to walk away, not needing to look to know his jaw had dropped. However, rather than the clearer feel of mind she had been expecting, she felt a lead-like heaviness drop in her stomach, a disturbing haze filling her head.
'Wh-what? What's going on?'
She thought, her vision going slightly dizzy. Her vision before her seemed misted, and she tried to shake her head to clear it. It only made it worse, and she could feel a cold and painful pin-like prickling at where her heart was...
"And you'll definitely hate the idea of him caring or liking you right now, simply because you're incredibly guilty. You probably don't know it, but you're thinking you don't deserve him - especially by what 'you did to him'."
...There was definitely something wrong between her and blonde, and she didn't know why, but it hurt. It hurt a lot. She didn't want to even think about him 'saving' her, let alone 'care' for her. She hid her pain with a glazed look...
...There was a very long silence between the model and herself, and Nami realised with a start that people around her were trying not to stare. Probably thought it was a lover's spat. The thought made her feel worse, and she felt so sick she could retch all of a sudden...
...Nami began to wonder if he really did like her, and if he really did not deserve all the words she hadn't even meant anyway, then gave herself mental slap for even thinking about it...
By now, Nami had grown rigid and stock-still as she absorbed each word Kale was feeding her with a growing, cold dread.
'So... there was a reason...'
"Nami-san..."
Sanji said softly, and she snapped her head away from him, not wanting to face the cook for now. Kale decided to lay off her slightly for now, and went on,
"So about the cook himself. Well, doubt you really accepted death yourself. Did the spontaneous act of pure love and will on a sweet whim. I'm not completely sure you knew what the outcome really meant, but the fact you might never see Nami again and then seeing her once more would have either conjured feelings of anguish and sorrow everytime you saw her, or the feelings you had when you first knew her in your past life. Either way works."
...He didn't know the girl at all, but he knew her name and for some reason was very attracted to the way she looked. Something looked a little... well, *off*, for some reason only God would know, but all the same just looking at the girl brought a smile to his face...
Sanji's eyes widened. Now he knew why he felt so good around the girl, despite how she had acted to him... Nami betrayed herself and sneaked a small glance at him. He was looking surprised and a little amazed. And she remembered...
...she saw a flicker of his face come into view - and it was an expression of pure bliss. She was used to it, as though she'd seen it many times before... which she hadn't...
The way he was holding her hands and her hips made her feel lightweight and... how could she put it... precious? He seemed to be taking extra care not to touch her in any way that might hurt her - but the way he was carefully 'handling' her was strangely so familiar, but Nami couldn't place for the life of her when she had ever felt like this before...
He suddenly looked at her, and they stared at each other for a split second, sharing through their eye contact their confusion, their fears, their understandings... then Nami pulled away, and the connection disappeared. Sanji gave her a forlorn look which she pointedly ignored.
"Knowing you are going to die is like shutting the book of your life down. If you have any memories you can't lose, you stick bookmarks in that your mind opens as visions later on. And if you did close your book -- which Usopp didn't, by the way -- then you look different now. It's like getting a new book. Or a new look! Ha ha ha!... ha..."
The unappreciative glares caused Kale to sweatdrop.
"Sorry. I just tried to brighten the mood in here, okay?! So Sanji, you look a little different, as does Nami. Nami's hair is longer, and she seems to be used to that. She may not exactly have wanted to die, but she was certainly anticipating it. So her hair remains long now, and Sanji's eyebrow has a certain lack of curl. Others may be have noticed these changes already - especially since you guys knew each other extremely well in your past lives..."
"Sanji-kun, what happened to your eyebrow?"
"But for some really crazy reason, I seem to recall you having a curl at the end of your eyebrows. Did you shave it off or something?"
"The end of his eyebrows... look like they lack a spiral. A curl. Whatever... something like that."
"...she does seem a bit more... recognisable today."
"It's her hair,"
Zoro said firmly,
"It's how it's all tied back."
Unconciously, Sanji's knuckles pressed against the ends of his eyebrows as Nami thread her fingers through her hair. Zoro blinked at the silence that had somehow cascaded.
"Uhm, what about me? Anything new about me?"
He asked, not expecting much more talk, when Kale burst out laughing.
"You're the most changed,"
He declared with a grin,
"Though I doubt your sleeping habits have grown any better."
"Awards?"
Zoro asked, his heart sinking. He didn't want to listen to anything after this - he wanted to go up and collapse on his hammock...? Huh? Now where did that come from, Zoro wondered.
"But he's sleeping half the time,"
Nami said,
"He's always relaxed."
"There's nothing wrong with sleeping."
Zoro
retorted, deciding not to follow the denying approach. Kale snorted.
"Whatever. The thing is, Zoro, you died in a very different way to the others. You completely accepted the idea of death and even embraced it. You took it into stride. In fact, coming here you probably could have started a whole new life as a completely peaceful tree.
"But there are just two things in particular that stopped you from doing that. Those two things are the very essence of your meaning in life, which is why you couldn't let go of it completely. But you did allow your past life to not disturb you, so your personality has changed. You're a lot calmer than you once were and a lot -- er, -- smoother.
...He was had a very withdrawn personality, all because of this strange feeling in him. He felt as though he had lost his confidence somehow, though he had no idea when because his mother had told him he had always been quiet...
"The first thing you never got to accomplish in your previous life that basically meant everything to you was your swordsmanship. Unfortunately you can't be born with it on Earth... well, I guess you sort of did, you couldn't Awaken it until the trigger occured..."
...The problem was, he didn't like being quiet. But he felt strangely... how could he describe it? ...Defenceless? It was a strange way to express his quiet nature, but that was the only way he could describe it...
"Trigger?"
Zoro repeated.
"Yep. The moment a certain student joined this university, the Awakening was triggered.
He began to trudge up the stairs, stuffing his bandanna into his pocket when the feeling of anticipation quite suddenly drained out of him, startling him because he hadn't known he'd still had that feeling.
Turning around, he noticed that the orange-haired girl and the long-nosed guy were gone from sight. Then he wondered why he'd turned around in first place.
He turned around to notice the girl from before - the orange-haired girl he had seen on the stairs. Her long, orange hair was tied in a quick knot at the back of her neck, and she was chatting animatedly with a blue-haired girl next to her. Zoro was momentarily struck with a numbing sense of...
'Of what?'
He wondered.
"Because then all the 'participants' were in range of each other. Well, something like that. The key was basically recognition and familiarity. These two things allowed you guys to talk to each, grow closer to one another. Though Nami and Usopp share a special bond, and are friends anyways. They always shared a bond, and that was especially intensified when Usopp died."
Nami and Usopp exchanged looks of surprise as Zoro looked thoughtful. Kale continued,
"So Zoro, about your swordsmanship. Have you Awoken any of your skills yet?"
"Er..."
...The familiarity that was coursing through him was alarming, and his eyes stared his fingers curled around the metal in curiousity. He had never learnt any sort of self-defense in his life, yet just now, he had performed what looked like a common defense move with the Two Sword Style Technique... he blinked. Two Sword what? Where on earth had that come from?
Something was running through him now, however; something Zoro did not know yet recognised. He hadn't known how to hold the broom handle, yet with the metal bars he had somehow awakened some sort of knowledge in him - no, it was more of some sort of reflex - that knew how to grip properly. Had it been the panic? He didn't know, but something was stirring in him; something enormous was fighting to be let out, desperately wanting to be acknowledged -...
"You haven't?! Sanji's kicking talent, Nami's bo skills and Usopp's sniper shot - have none of you discovered these talents yet?!"
...With a frustrated growl, his brain switched into reflex mode. Seven bikers running towards him to a point just in front of him; three to the left, four to the right. Without much thought, Sanji flipped himself onto his hands and brought his legs up before jerking them into a split. His arms working a momentum, he swung his legs round in a clean, sweeping movement, and his legs kicked out where he calculated jaws to be. Within seconds, Sanji was back to his feet and dashing for the gap while seven men crumpled to the floor, wheezing in pain...
"Uh..."
...she scooped up the metal bar with her left hand. Holding it in a grip, she turned back to face the yell of the blue-head, when a jolt ran through her. A jolt of familiarity.
'That's strange,'
Nami thought as her fingers curled around the bar in a position she knew but did not remember,
'Why do I feel like I've held this before...?'
"Well... I have.... sort of."
Nami said slowly, and Sanji and Zoro agreed in unison,
"Yep."
Usopp had a sweatdrop as he admitted,
"Uhm, I haven't."
"Really? You should try your talent out sometime. You could shoot an ant off a building three blocks away. By any rate, this is good. I'll explain in a minute. So Zoro, quite finally, I'm sure you know who I'm talking about when I say she is the second reason why you've chosen to stick to life. Part of her soul is in you."
...He looked at the girl before him again. He had just recognised her for a split second; he was sure of it... but right now, all he knew was that she looked familiar...
Zoro nodded slowly, trying not to let his head hang in thoughts of what had happened in the confrontation back at the library... Usopp and Sanji cast him curious glances, but he took no notice of them.
"Basically,"
Kale said, leaning forward to them with a new glint in his eye,
"You're all part of something big. Something huge. All of you - particularly through certain personality changes - have had brief touches and talks that involve other souls that have come here.
'I don't think the green-haired twerp gets it, but we're linked somehow. I don't really know how, but we definitely knew each other some time...'
"You can keep to yourself you stupid cook."
"What's wrong, Na-chan?"
Nami felt very comfortable with the newbie. Strangely enough.
"Oh really, Usopp? Guess what? I think I'm seeing someone I know right now."
"Uh-- I-- uhm-- I d-donno whaj-just happened,"
"It's j-just that...uh... I mean... you look... very familiar today..."
...Shock impended on all of them as they saw that there was recognition amongst them, recollections of unknown memories, familarity beyond grasp. But most of all, the greatest shock was the fact that they realised they definitely knew each other without mistake...
"You've died unnecessary deaths and survived the inbalance in your lives uptil now. Most importantly... because all of you have the strength to overcome this pain and trouble, God selected you to have the choice of saving your dimension or not. There are hundreds and thousands of people around this dimension who feel the same unease, the same confusion. You have the ability to end it."
"...How?"
Sanji asked.
"It's not simple. It's impossible to eradicate the dimension from the devil's intervention. So instead, God will bring you to your last day on the Going Merry. It's up to you guys to change fate, however."
"You mean... we'll return to the time we died??"
Usopp squawked, his eyes bugging out.
"Yep."
Kale said with a grin.
"Uhm... I think we need Luffy's help, then."
Nami said quietly. The guys looked at her, surprised she had spoken, when Kale replied,
"Didn't you think it was pretty pathetic how he died, though?"
At this, all of their eyes darkened considerably as they glared angrily at the angel.
"Who the hell are you to judge that?!"
Usopp seethed as Zoro narrowed his eyes.
"It was bad luck the railings were slippery,"
The green-head muttered.
"If he hadn't been thrown off, he would have Gomu Gomu Bazooka-ed the bloody murderer off the ship."
Nami retorted.
"If he knew how to swim, we wouldn't be here,"
Sanji said irritatedly.
Kale blinked, surprised at the intensity of their glaring at him. Then he cast his eyes down, sighing softly.
"You know,"
He said quietly, silencing their building protests at the sudden change in tone and volume,
"That fool of a captain you have is a complete idiot? And he's psycho too. Has no idea what the impact of his deeds are. Plus I've never met a denser moron. He's thicker than a brick. And he's cocky. Man, he's cocky."
"He's a pirate."
Usopp said resolutely.
"And we knew all of that anyways."
Sanji added. Kale shook his head.
"That's not what I'm referring to,"
He said dryly,
"I'm trying to say... well, when I first got the assignment, I heard his stats and refused to let him take control. I mean, you've got to be kidding - thick, idiotic and bonkers. Why bother trying to save his dimension? His dimension's probably better off frozen than with him in it.
"He begged me to give him a little control one day when we got to see the sea, though. He's a pirate, right? He deserves that much, I thought. So I relented. Then the bloody idiot goes and drowns himself. At age five, see? So God had to re-incarnate him all over again. That's why this body's twelve when it should really be seventeen years old.
"I didn't want to let this guy take control ever again. Honestly - how dumb can you get? It took him long enough to finally get the idea and stop asking me if he could take over the body. But you know... I just saw how he died. It was pathetic, to tell you the truth. I was scoffing at him the entire time we were sinking under. Then, without warning, the weirdo starts grinning.
"I couldn't understand how the hell he could grin. I mean, his friends could be - and were - dying up there. No one was coming to save him. He was going to die with water-clogged lungs. No one would remember him. I thought he was really stupid, until I heard his thoughts.
'It's too bad I slipped off. But my friends... as long as my friends are okay. I took them here, after all. But I trust they're alright. I trust them.'
"I didn't understand how he could think that. And he didn't think anything else, and when he died... he was grinning. Smiling. And... I've never felt more respect for a human in my life."
Kale raised his eyes to meet the others. They were staring at him.
"You mean..."
Zoro started, his eyes round with shock.
"I guess,"
Kale said loudly, looking at them an all-too familiar grin,
"It's about time I give Monkey D. Luffy another chance."
A/N: Thanks for bearing with me uptil now. *bows* You guys are the best. ^.^ Just a note to Roz-san -- I can't post up OP NGs! XP Against the rules here. But thank you for your kind comments. I thank EVERYONE for their reviews. You guys are the best!!!! *huggles* I read each one and process each idea and interpretation. Uhmm... sorry this chapter came a little late. I've got exams coming up soon... and I'll probably fork a lot of my fanfiction writing and doodling time to revision. So... don't expect an update too soon, I guess. Gomen ne... and a very, very big arigatou gozaimasu. ^^*