Naruto Primer Lost Chapter: All
Football
Originally, we didn't really have an end to this chapter so it was discontinued. We just didn't want to be the ones to decide who won the game. Now, since we're doing lost chapters, we toiled endlessly to think up an ending for you. And… it's… well, you be the judge.
"Okay, for today, the game is football." Said Kiba. "We'll pick the teams and this time, I'M being captain. Any questions?"
"Yeah, can we play TOUCH football?" Ino asked, raising her hand.
"Touch football?!" gaped all the men who were longing to be rough and tussle with each other to beat out a lot of aggressions.
"Um…it can be touch football with you girls, but we'll all play regular." Sasuke said finally, noticing that everyone else was too much in shock to reply to such an outlandish request.
"I have another question!" Naruto said. "Why do YOU get to be captain?!"
"Well…because it was my idea to play." Kiba answered.
"Then I'm the other captain!" Naruto declared.
"Wait, are we picking teams again?" Tenten asked.
"Yes, of course we are!" Kiba said.
"Can we just count off or something?" Tenten said.
"No!!" yelled all the men who were already in a competition with each other to see who would be picked first.
"How about we go through all the guys first and THEN we'll pick the girls?" Kiba suggested. "That way, both teams get two girls so it's fair." Naruto shrugged and said whatever. "Okay…so I pick…Sasuke!"
Sasuke thought; "That's more like it."
"I wasn't going to pick Sasuke anyway so you just wasted your first pick." Naruto laughed. "Lee!"
"All right!!" cheered Lee.
"Then Shino!" Kiba said.
Shino didn't do, say or think ANYTHING! Is he going for another chapter in which he is there but entirely silent? I think he is!
"Chouji." Naruto said, knowing that in a game of tackle football, Chouji was the guy to have on your team.
"YAY!" said Chouji.
Kiba was then left with choosing either Shikamaru or Neji. Shikamaru would be good on the strategies, but those never really worked in a throw together game of football so he would be virtually useless. As for Neji, he's completely useless all the time unless they were picking teams to fight each other.
"Shikamaru." Kiba decided finally.
Shikamaru shrugged and went over to Kiba.
Naruto groaned. "Come on…" he said. "Kiba, you can have Neji and I'll take three girls on my team!"
"No way." Said Kiba.
"FINE." Naruto said, sounding like nothing could make him unhappier. "I pick Neji then."
Neji crossed his arms. He didn't even know what kind of witty remark to make so he just cursed the Main House on the inside, knowing that somehow, in a strange twisted way, it was all THEIR fault that he was picked last for a stupid game of football.
"Now for the girls!" said Kiba. "I pick Hinata!"
"Wow, our whole three-man team is on one team!" said Hinata happily.
"I did that on purpose!" Kiba lied.
"Sakura!" said Naruto.
"I knew it…" sighed Sakura.
"Hm…Ino?" Kiba tried.
"And I guess that leaves me with Tenten!" Naruto said.
"This is why I wanted to just count off the teams." Tenten said.
"All right, let's flip a coin to see who gets the ball first!" said Lee as he whipped out a coin from his pocket that he carried around all the time with him just in case such an occasion in which a coin would be needed should arise.
"Heads!" Naruto called it as it flipped.
"HEADS!" Lee exclaimed, bending down to look at it on the ground.
"YAY!!" cheered Naruto's team.
Kiba took the football and his team down to the other end of the field area that they had marked with shuriken sticking out of the ground. "Who wants to punt the—" he began but Sasuke had already taken the ball from him. "Okay, but next time it's someone else's turn!"
Sasuke decided that he didn't even need to answer and just punted the ball in the direction of the other team.
"I GOT IT!!!" Naruto yelled but before he could catch the ball, a green blur jumped out in front of him and collected it. "HEY!! LEE!! THAT'S MINE!!"
But Lee was already sprinting towards the end zone. He surely would have gone all the way if not for the fact that Kiba literally came out of nowhere and dove on top of him, grabbing his legs and dragging him to the ground.
"WHAT A TACKLE!!!" Kiba exclaimed as he got up and performed a victory dance.
"HA!" laughed Lee. "Unfortunately for YOU I am merely steps away from reaching the end zone!"
"Well…WE'RE mere steps from reaching…YOU!" said Kiba. Akamaru barked at Kiba. "Shut up, Akamaru! It's the best I could think of off the top of my head!"
The two teams went into separate huddles.
"Okay, so what's the team plan?" Chouji asked his team.
"Just hike it to me and I'll run it in for the touchdown!" Lee said.
"No way!" said Naruto. "I'M team captain and I say we play it like a team! So you all have to listen to me. Lee, you hike it to ME and I'M going to run it in for the touchdown! Chouji, you stay in front of me and barrel over anyone who tries to tackle me! Sakura and Tenten, you two are both girls so all you have to do is stand around and watch. Neji, you might as well not bother either."
"That sounds like a good plan!" said Lee enthusiastically.
"Okay." Said Chouji.
Tenten and Sakura shrugged.
Neji looked at Naruto with a very questioning glare. Naruto tried not to pay attention as he went over the plan again. It's not like he cared that he wasn't really involved in the plays, he just cared that he had about negative five respect points among his peers.
"BREAK!" said Naruto just as the other team broke out as well.
"Don't worry about it, Neji." Said Lee as he ran over to Neji as everyone set up for the play. "It doesn't matter that the only things you can do are fighting, dancing and laser tag. Those are the only important things in life, right?"
"Lee…" Neji said, barely restraining himself from Gentle Fisting Lee into next Tuesday.
"BLUE 42!!" Naruto yelled. "BLUE 42!! BLUE 42!!"
"What does that mean?" Ino whispered to Hinata. Hinata shrugged.
"HUT HUT HUT HIKE!!" Naruto yelled finally as Lee tossed the ball to Naruto. He barely had the opportunity to look up after receiving the ball before he was pounced on by Kiba and then wrestled to the ground. The ball popped out of his hand and Sasuke was there to pick it up and run all the way to the opposite end zone and score a touchdown.
"Chouji!" said Naruto as he stood up again. "Where were you?!"
"Over here?" Chouji suggested.
"Come on, girls, let's just go be cheerleaders!" said Sakura.
"Yeah!" cheered the other three girls as they went over to the sidelines and began cheering on their teams.
"This is so troublesome." Said Shikamaru who was still standing in the exact same place.
"Come on!!" Kiba called from the other side of the field where Sasuke was. "We get to kick it again!! Everyone on my team come down here!"
Shino and Shikamaru took their time getting to the other side.
"This time, when I say that I have it, don't jump in front of me to steal it!" said Naruto to Lee.
"I don't STEAL." Said Lee, putting a hand over his heart.
"Here it comes!" Chouji yelled, pointing up in the air. It was coming right towards him but he only watched it plummet to the earth and fall to the ground, causing it to bounce in all sorts of crazy and unpredictable directions until it just so happen to land in Neji's hands.
The four of them stood there silently for a moment.
Then they looked at the appointed tackler; Kiba, as he just stood there and watched them. Sasuke was way too cool for tackling and was currently pretending to be preoccupied with something interesting on his fingernails. Shino and Shikamaru didn't look like they were very into the game in the first place so they weren't going to do anything.
"Um…" Neji started as Kiba flinched and stepped backwards.
"Do something!" yelled Tenten from the sidelines.
"Here." Neji said, turning to Naruto who was standing right there and tossing him the ball. As soon as the ball left his hands, Kiba bounded off the ground and leapt onto Naruto, knocking him to the ground once again.
Then it was time for more huddles.
"Why did you freeze up like that?" Sasuke asked Kiba.
"I don't want to go near Neji, let alone tackle him." Kiba said. "He's mean." Akamaru started whining.
"Fine." Sasuke said, rolling his eyes. "Let's just get the ball back, okay?"
"ALL RIGHT!" said Kiba as they all turned around to play. And, since timing is always so perfect, the other team was finished as well.
"BLUE 42!!" yelled Lee. "BLUE 42!!"
"Do either of you know what that means?" Ino asked Sakura and Tenten, but they both shrugged as well.
"HIKE!!" Lee said finally, as Naruto hiked the ball to him. Lee immediately turned to Neji and threw him the ball. Neji put his hands out to catch it but it appeared as though he tried to miss and the ball passed through his fumbling hands and konked him in the forehead. Then the ball fell to the ground as Neji rubbed his head. Lee and Kiba met eyes and then made a dive for the ball. Luckily, Lee got to it first but it was considered to be a tackle.
BACK to the huddles.
"Neji, you have to CATCH the ball." Naruto said.
"I know." Neji said angrily, touching the spot on his head and then looking at his hand to make sure he wasn't bleeding.
"Next time, make sure you catch it." said Naruto. "And then you have to remember to run down the field and score us a touchdown!"
"Don't you guys want to win on your own merits instead of me doing it because Kiba's afraid to tackle me?" Neji said.
"WE WANT TO BEAT SASUKE!!!" HOLL-ered Naruto and Lee.
"I want to beat Sasuke too but not in a game of football." Neji said. "Football is meaningless in the grand scheme of things."
"But ANY victory over Sasuke is STILL a victory!" Naruto announced.
"Hey, where did Chouji go?" Lee said.
"He left a little while with Shikamaru to get something to eat." Naruto answered.
The other huddle was experiencing some difficulties as well.
"I don't feel like playing anymore." Said Shino.
"No Shino!" said Kiba as he got down on the ground and grabbed Shino's leg to keep him from leaving. "Don't leave!! We need you to help us win!!"
"Kiba, let go of my leg." Shino said.
"Not until you promise that you'll stay!!" Kiba threatened.
But then Kiba couldn't help but notice the little bugs that were falling out of Shino's jacket and onto the ground…and on HIM! So Kiba promptly let go, stood up and brushed himself off as Shino started walking away.
"Good riddance!" Kiba said. "But don't ever tell me that you NEVER forfeit anything!"
Shino stopped dead in his tracks. "What did you say?" Shino said.
"You heard me!" Kiba said. "By walking away now, you're forfeiting!!"
Shino turned around and walked right back towards Kiba. "I don't forfeit." He said. "So even if I have to continue to stand here and watch you two play football, I will prove my point."
"That's the spirit!" said Kiba. (This is approximately the area that we stopped at.)
"Okay, let's continue this game!" Naruto yelled. "It's our ball! You guys know the play!"
"Yeah, we know the play!!" said Lee enthusiastically.
"BLUE 42!!!" yelled Naruto. "BLUE 42!!!"
"You know, I don't think that means anything at all." Ino said to the other girls.
"They probably say it to sound macho." Sakura replied.
"HUT HUT HUT HIKE!!!" Naruto yelled, throwing the ball to Lee.
Naruto ran as fast as he could down the field as Lee faked out Kiba, then faked out Sasuke. Then Lee threw the ball as far as he could down to Naruto who was already in the end zone. Naruto leapt up into the air and caught the ball.
"WE'VE WON!!!" yelled Lee, throwing his arms up into the air. (Not literally, of course. Just figuratively.)
"IN YOUR FACE, SASUKE!!! YES!!!" cheered Naruto as he spiked the ball as hard as he could on the ground. Then the ball bounced up and smacked him in the face.
Naruto sat up straight in bed. He looked around and realized it was the middle of the night. It had all been a dream.
"Aw man!" he said, punching his palm. "I finally beat Sasuke too!!"
Unfortunately for Naruto, he can't even beat Sasuke in his DREAMS because little did he realize that the score was actually even when he woke up. Oh well. (When in doubt for an ending, you can always just make it a dream and it all works out in the end.)