For weeks, Faith had sat with him. Never knowing whether or not he would wake up. The doctors had told her it was doubtful, but they didn't know Bosco. He was the strongest man she had ever known. Stubborn as a mule, he wouldn't give up; she knew that he would stay alive just to spite them all.
Although it had become a routine to visit him, she still couldn't get over how hard it was, seeing him look small and weak in that hospital bed. She couldn't stop thinking about how pale and sick he was. She wasn't someone who had ever really gone to church, she had faith but hadn't ever been sure about what to do with it, but she prayed every night that he would return to his old self.
No matter how much the idea hurt her, she wanted to see him up again, flirting with the nurses. Hell, she wanted to see him flirting with Cruz if it meant he was well again. That thought made her heart hurt. For a long time, much longer than she herself admitted it, she had been in love with Maurice Boscorelli. There, she said it, if not out loud than at least to herself. He was the only man that had ever truly had her heart. Fred was a drunk just like her father. A long time ago she used him to escape and got stuck just like her mother. Although it hurt that he had cheated on her, she felt released. If only her children didn't hate her.
She told herself they didn't understand. Someone told her that they would forgive her once they saw the big picture, but she wasn't sure. All those years she sacrificed for them, working so hard when Fred was drinking the money away, only to get blamed for never being there. He poisoned their minds about her. Her sacrifices being condemned, she was a workaholic, he told them. She wanted to yell at Emily, explain to her that Fred was the fun one because she worked hard, but she wouldn't.
She needed Bosco to tell her that Fred was a big fat piece of shit. She could almost hear him saying that Fred was a jag off. He had said it enough in the past to be remembered very clearly. She hadn't even told Bosco about Fred taking the kids and leaving. She wasn't quite sure how to do it, to be honest. Telling him about it when he could respond would be difficult, but telling him when he was just laying there made it nearly impossible. Plus, if she told him, than it would be true. She would be forced to admit to herself that she couldn't make her marriage work.
One day, after a particularly grueling day as a detective, she found herself in Bosco's room crying. "I hate it, I hate everything," she started. She couldn't quite recall everything that she had said, but before she knew it she felt him squeeze her hand. She knew that she had to get a doctor but she didn't want to leave the room, she was afraid it was all a cruel joke. She wasn't thinking clearly enough at the time to hit the nurse call button. She headed for the door until she heard him call out to her.
"Faith." She stopped in her tracks and looked at him. His eyes started to flutter open, but she was stuck standing there. She was having trouble breathing. "Faith, I love you."
At that moment, Rose walked in, watching Faith collapse on the floor. "Oh my god, Doctor! Doctor! Someone help me."
TBC
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