A/N: More Spuffiness because YOU demanded it! Thanks to everyone for the reviews. You are all my muses.

Spike liked to watch Buffy sleep. He was well aware of how much like a stalker that would sound to most people. But he didn't care. When she slept she got this wonderful wistful smile on her face. Like she was at peace. He had often wondered what she dreamed of – was it of heaven? Did she still want to be back there? Or was it of loved ones that had passed on? Spike knew it wasn't really his business. Didn't stop him pondering it though.

The Slayer and the vampire had only really shared an actual bed once before. The night that he had given her his rousing speech on her being 'the one'. Even when they had been having sex they had never made it to the bed. As far as he was concerned the time Buffy had been invisible didn't count because she hadn't really been there. He looked back on times like that and shook his head, wondering what he had been thinking.

Well, no. He knew what he had been thinking. It went something along the lines of – Buffy, sex, with me. With me, sex, Buffy. Totally incoherent thoughts. Now he had his soul he saw how damaging that kind of relationship had been to both Buffy and himself. Of course just because he had a soul didn't mean that he didn't want her.

He always wanted her.

The toxin in his body was pushing that want to the surface far more than he felt comfortable with. Spike's main concern at that moment was that she was safe from him because if he hurt her again he would have to kill himself. He couldn't bear it.

Whenever he thought of that night in the bathroom a chill ran down his spine. Had that really been him? The answer was always the same, of course. Yes. It had been him. He had been upset and angry but it had still been him. Some corner of his mind had told him this isn't right, what are you doing? But he had ignored it.

Something he would regret for the rest of his life.

And though Buffy made a show of how it didn't matter anymore Spike still saw the way she sometimes trembled when he got near. It wasn't the good type of tremble. He remembered back in Sunnydale when he had been staying at Xander's house an incident that would stay with him. Spike had been in his room (his closet) and he had heard Buffy and Willow come around to hang with Xander. So, he had opened his door a crack to watch the Slayer. They had been watching the telly. Some made-for-TV movie. About a husband abusing his wife. About rape. Buffy had seized up on the chair, her jaw tightening and a shake running through her whole body. Xander had quickly changed the station much to Willow's protest. No one had told Willow about it at that time obviously. Buffy turned to look at Spike's door almost instinctively. The vampire had been a fraction of a second too slow to shut it and he knew that she was aware he had been watching her.

They had never spoken about the attack. Spike had never entered the bathroom in the Summers' house again. Buffy had tensed when a Potential one day asked if the dent in the bathroom wall was from a fight with a demon. She had answered with an affirmative nod.

A demon.

That was what he was, what he would always be.

Giles' had been right. Spike wasn't healthy for Buffy. The vampire never thought he would agree with the Watcher about anything. Times do change. Demons do not. That was what they taught you these days.

"The animal inside? Always the same"

That was what she had said. What she had said when talking to the Potentials about him and his kind.

"Hey, what's with the brooding-face?" Buffy piped suddenly awake and making him start "You should be careful, you could turn into Angel"

Spike blinked, looked down at the Slayer and recovered, he snorted "Not bloody likely. I could never use that much hair gel"

"Right. Because your hair is smoothed down naturally" Buffy grinned, pulling herself up into a half sitting position.

"Oi!" Spike protested but it was half-hearted.

She reached across and brushed her fingers over his forehead "I like your hair kind of curly. Makes you look...I don't know, more –"

"Human?" He interjected.

"I was gonna say boyish" She replied, her green eyes looking him over.

Spike brushed her hand aside and shifted toward the edge of the bed "You probably shouldn't touch me. I'll try and jump you again"

Buffy smirked, inclining her head towards him "Spike, you really shouldn't promise such a thing unless you're gonna deliver. Not fair raising a girl's hopes like that"

He looked at her, face completely serious "This isn't funny, Buffy"

"You either laugh or you cry, right? That's your philosophy if I'm correct" She tilted her head "What's up, Spike? Apart from the whole changing species thing"

He snorted "Yeah, because that's such a blasé thing. Ever considered that might be the only thing bothering me? That this time tomorrow I might have scales and a soddin' mermaids tail"

"Technically, it would be a merman's tail" The Slayer informed him, nodding with her own clever wisdom.

"My mistake then. That's much better. A merman" Spike sat up "Great, I can be all manly while I'm sleeping with the fishes"

Buffy giggled.

He whipped his head around to look at her "Something funny, luv?"

"No. No...okay, it's just 'sleeping with the fishes'...?" Buffy burst out into snorting laughter then calmed herself as she saw the hurt look on his face "I'm sorry. But if you just add an Italian accent to that it would be the Godfather minus the Brando"

Spike tried not to smile. He really did. He was supposed to be mad at her for being so insensitive. But he could never glower at her for long. Just seeing her made him want to smile. It would be a sin to scowl at a face as lovely as hers. Spike chuckled to himself. Just when he thought he had gotten rid of all traces of his 'William' persona his brain would come up with something like that.

He froze when Buffy reached over and ran her fingertips across his mouth, tracing his lips.

"I like it when you smile, I mean really genuinely smile. Sure, the moody bad-boy thing has its place too but..." She looked at him softly "But I like it when you smile"

Spike reached up and took her hand, rubbing his thumb against her palm "I like it when you laugh. Don't see it much"

"Don't have much call for the giggles"

"Not even now? When you can live a semi-normal life?"

Buffy shrugged "Got no one to share my life with. Sure there's Dawn and Giles, Willow and Xander but..."

"But no one just for you"

"Bingo" She said quietly and a little melancholic.

Spike turned his whole body to face her "What? There's no English blokes trying to get a piece of you?"

Buffy grinned and poked him in the chest "Only the one. Although I'm not so sure he's interested anymore"

"Oh, he's interested" Spike countered "Just not sure if he should be"

Buffy looked down at the bed, paused then looked back up "I missed you...when you were gone"

"Did you now?"

"Of course," She watched his face "Spike, I thought you were dead and you never told me otherwise. A call would have been nice. Instead of having to find out from Andrew of all people"

"I didn't want to disappoint you"

"Why would I have been disappointed?"

He rubbed his forehead, sighed "Because I saved the world...even if I did just wear a necklace. I saved the world, I was partly redeemed. Then I was back. Just Spike. Having to haunt Angel, no higher purpose. Who wouldn't be disappointed?"

"I wouldn't" Buffy's voice was hushed.

Spike watched her face carefully. She was being genuine. Buffy Summers wasn't disappointed he was just Spike. She had missed him. To say he had missed her would have been pointless. It was a well-known fact. Spike was in love with her. Would be forever. It was just one of the things the world took for granted.

Sun gotta shine. Birds gotta fly. Spike gotta love Buffy.

Simple as that.

"Besides you did more than just wear a necklace. You had the courage to die to save the world, a world which hasn't done you many favors" The Slayer carried on "You saw it through. I was so proud of you for that. Proud...and pissed off"

Spike was still glowing from the proud compliment "Pissed off?"

"You went and died on me. Just when things were getting interesting" She smiled slowly.

He arched an eyebrow "Interesting, eh?"

Buffy just gave him a look.

"I'm not so much a champion, luv" Spike said self-deprecating again "And I know it. When I died...I didn't go anywhere at first. Just one minute I was burning up the next I was in Angel's office. After that when I was a ghost I started...fading away"

The Slayer frowned, worried "Fading away?"

"Disappearing. Getting pulled back..."

"To where?"
"It wasn't the place champions go" Spike shuddered "I've felt the pull of hell, Buffy. I've felt it and I'm scared. Saving the world once isn't enough. I'm still damned. But...But I don't want to go there, Buffy, I don't want to go..."

Buffy grabbed his hand, squeezed it "You're not going anywhere"

"If I...if I try something you're gonna have to kill me" Spike looked at her with scared little boy eyes.

"Not gonna happen"

"I won't let myself hurt you again" He whispered.

She leaned closer to him "I'm not exactly the token girl victim, Spike. I can handle myself and I can handle you...although lately, the handling has been far too brief"

Spike looked at her, a little surprised at that.

"Haven't been handled for so long" She sighed, looking up at the ceiling.

He leaned in closer to her too "So, the last handling was..."

"Yeah" Buffy glanced at him, looked away and smiled wryly "Even you've had more handling then me. What with Anya and, I guess, there's been others..."

"Just Harmony" Spike mumbled, sighing.

Her eyes widened "Harmony? Again?"

"I'd just got recorporealized" He shook his head "Not thinking too clearly"

"Men" Buffy chided him.

He placed his index finger and thumb on her chin, leveled her face to his "Didn't mean a damn thing. Just like Anya. In my heart I've always been faithful to you"

"I don't know whether to think that's sweet," The Slayer looked him in the eyes "Or a line all guys use on girls when they've been screwing around"

"I'd go with the former. I'm a sweet guy"

"Not a word I'd associate with you often"

Spike inched closer to her on the bed "And what words would you associate with me?"

"Sarcastic. Annoying...honest, real, mildly attractive, far too arrogant –" She ran off the list on her fingers.

"Mildly attractive?" Spike grinned, whispered in her ears "Wanna hear some words I have for you?"

"Not if they're unseemly" Buffy announced.

"Unseemly? You have lived with Giles far too long" The vampire arched an eyebrow "Can't give you a list of words anyway"

She looked almost disappointed "Why not?"

"Because I don't have the words to describe you"

The Slayer actually blushed. Score one for the peroxide vampire. He smiled at this rare show of girlishness from her. She was always feminine but hardly ever girly. And he liked that. Couldn't cope with the girly ones...his thing with Harmony attested to that. Still, a few moments like these he could appreciate with Buffy.

She gave him a playful slap on the arm "Charmer"

"I try my best" He pouted with a hint of a smile.

There was a slight knocking at the door breaking the spell between them. Both of them gazed at each other a moment longer, not wanting to end the moment.

"Buffy?" It was Willow.

The Slayer sighed and pulled herself out of bed, walked to the door and opened it "Hey, did you find something?"

"I don't know. Maybe. I'm not sure" Willow stumbled "I kind of need you to come take a look at this"

Spike started to get off the bed too.

Buffy put a hand up to him "Spike you go back to bed. It's only just turning dark and you need to rest"

"Screw that! It's about me" He replied.

She turned to face him "Please. You need all the strength you can get to keep the demon from rising. I promise I'll come and tell you right away"

The vampire let out a long sigh but then, after a moment, nodded. Buffy smiled slightly at him and then followed Willow out of the room and out of the cottage. Spike rubbed his head and pushed himself backward onto the bed. He sat there for a minute before lying down and closing his eyes. He was a little glad Buffy was gone. Give him a reprieve. He had been fighting extra hard to keep the water-feral demon's libido down.

Spike bit down on his bottom lip and started to breathe in and out slowly. Being a vampire he didn't need to do this but it calmed him a little. His temperature was rising (which was, in itself very bad, because vampire's, as a rule didn't have a body temperature).

He just hoped by the time Buffy came back he would have this all under control.

A/N: What WILL happen next? Find out in the next exciting installment of...HOME TRUTHS! Keep the reviews a-coming.