Naruto Primer Lost Chapter: All
Plate Elimination
This chapter took place immediately after the Disembodied Head That Ate People chapter. I don't remember why we eliminated it, but we definitely had a reason.
The night before had been a long one; watching an EXTREMELY scary movie called The Disembodied Head That Ate People. The last thing our favorite genins and Shikamaru wanted to do was to be called for a surprise training session.
"It's pretty obvious that we're just going to have you all compete again to prove to each other that we have cooler students." said Kurenai flatly, figuring it was pointless to hide it anymore.
"This one will be more low key than the other ones." Said Asuma. "And we'll be splitting you up into teams of three."
The teachers chose to ignore the fact that Sasuke was unconscious and was currently slung over Sakura and Ino's shoulders. Apparently, he didn't recover from the scary movie yet. They took the students around the corner to where there were a bunch of little plates hung on strings from the trees. Thirty-six plates, to be exact!
"As you can see, these plates have your names on them." Said Kakashi as he wheeled in a cart with shuriken displayed all pretty-like. "You each have three. The object of this game is knock out other people's plates but not the plates of the members on your team. When all three of your plates are broken then you're out and can't shoot anymore! If all nine plates of your team are broken then your team is out! Whichever team is left standing, WINS!"
"Why don't you tell them what those teams will be?" Kurenai said to Gai.
"I'd be glad to!" said Gai as he whipped a piece of paper out of his pocket and cleared his throat. "I just so happen to have the list right here! Team One will consist of Sakura, Shikamaru and Naruto. Lee, Shino and Ino will be on Team Two. On Team Three we have Chouji, Hinata and Neji. Finally, by process of elimination, Sasuke, Kiba and Tenten are on Team Four."
"The teams are different?" said Kiba. "Why?"
"Up first is Naruto." Said Kurenai, ignoring Kiba entirely.
"You better believe it!!" said Naruto. "I'm going to hit all of Sasuke's plates first just because I HATE him!"
"You can't hit his plates!" said Sakura as she fanned Sasuke. "He's unconscious!"
"So why can't I hit them then?" Naruto asked.
"Because then he won't be conscious to see you beat him." Said Tenten, trying to trick Naruto.
"Oh right…" said Naruto. "I guess I'll wait on hitting Sasuke's plates. Until he wakes up, I'll have to wait!"
"Just wait till your next turn!" said Kakashi, trying to hurry things along.
"Fine!" said Naruto. He whipped the shuriken at an area that had a large concentration of plates. He shattered one!
It was Shino's.
Shino looked at Naruto crossly.
"It's part of the challenge!" Naruto reminded him.
"Right." Said Shino. He had evil eyes, but no one knew.
"Okay, next up is Ino!" said Asuma.
"Well…I don't really know who to go after…" said Ino as she picked up a shuriken and threw it at the same mass of plates that Naruto threw his at. She shattered a plate but, to her dismay, it was one of her own. "Oh no!" she gasped. "That wasn't supposed to happen!"
"AW MAN!!" yelled Lee. "Now our team only has seven plates and all the other teams have nine!!"
"Now it's Neji's turn." Said Kakashi.
Neji silently picked up a shuriken and threw it at a lone plate. It slid right through the middle of it, breaking it into a trillion pieces.
"Neji…" said Gai. "You're not supposed to hit the plates of people who are on your team."
Neji wasn't about to admit that he had hit Hinata's plate entirely on purpose.
"You must have just read the plate wrong…" Hinata said, mostly to herself.
"Now Tenten." Said Kurenai.
Tenten picked up her shuriken and tried to find the perfect place to throw it. After a moment of calculation and contemplation, she hurled her shuriken at the plates. Unfortunately, it passed right in the space in the middle of four plates.
"You missed?!" demanded Kiba. "I thought you were supposed to have awesome aim!!"
There was a silent pause.
Then the sound of plates shattering. Everyone looked up at the plates to see the remains of four plates falling to the ground in a heap.
"Wow!!" exclaimed Gai. "Tenten managed to hit four plates at once!! She eliminated a plate for Lee, Naruto, Shikamaru and Chouji!!"
"SHE CAN'T DO THAT!!" yelled Naruto.
"OBVIOUSLY she can." Said Gai. "That's MY student!!"
"All right, we all have to go after Tenten's plates." Said Shikamaru. "We have to make it so she doesn't do that again. All we have to do is knock her three plates down before her next turn."
"Great idea, Shikamaru!" said Asuma. "And it's YOUR turn too!"
"Well, it's nothing personal Tenten." Said Shikamaru. "But you took out one of MY plates."
Shikamaru tossed the shuriken at one of Tenten's plates and shattered it.
"Don't worry about it!" said Tenten.
Next up was Shino.
"Shino, I know we're on different teams, but we have to work together so that doesn't happen again." Shikamaru said. "Hit one of Tenten's plates."
Shino didn't answer. He just threw his shuriken at one of Naruto's plates.
"Um…that was Naruto's plate." Said Shikamaru.
"He hit one of mine." Shino replied. "An eye for an eye."
"Now I only have one plate left!!" wailed Naruto.
Then it was Hinata's turn! Shikamaru repeated what he said to Shino to Hinata and she was willing to help. She threw her shuriken but wouldn't you know it? She missed them all entirely.
"Oops…" she said nervously as she looked apologetically at her team.
"Your turn, Kiba." Said Kurenai.
"No problem!" said Kiba. "I'll hit someone who has three plates just to even it out! Don't want to hit me or Sasuke…so it's either Neji or Sakura!"
Kiba looked at Neji and Sakura. Neji and his GLARE, and Sakura and her… doing absolutely nothing.
"Sakura it is!" he said as he threw the shuriken at Sakura's plate. So Sakura's plate count was down to two.
"I have to learn how to glare!" said Sakura. But she didn't even have time to whine some more because she noticed that Sasuke was finally moving. "Oh, you're awake Sasuke!"
"Wha…?" he said groggily.
"Sakura, it's your turn." Said Kakashi.
"Right!" said Sakura as she turned around. Now was the time to impress Sasuke! She decided to go after Kiba since he just hit her. And she did. And she hit him. It was very sad for Kiba. Poor Kiba.
"Where's the head?" said Sasuke, looking around vaguely. "Is the guy okay?"
"Yes, Sasuke, the guy lived at the end." Said Ino even though she didn't know.
"Is it my turn now?" asked Lee.
"YES IT IS!" said Gai as his teeth went PING!
"All right!" said Lee. "Now…Neji and Sasuke are the only ones with three plates left and I can go after EITHER of them! But I won't go after you, Neji, because we're on the same team! And, considering Sasuke's in first place, I'll go after him!"
"Thanks, Lee." Said Neji.
With that, Sasuke's first plate was destroyed.
"I don't particularly want to go after anyone…" said Chouji. "But I know I DON'T want to go after Shikamaru! So…I'll just randomly toss it."
Chouji was careful not to hit one of his OWN plates though and ended up obliterating one of Lee's.
"AW MAN!" said Lee. "Only one left!!"
"Sasuke?" said Kakashi.
"What am I supposed to do?" Sasuke asked, blinking. "Hit my plate?"
"No, definitely don't hit your plate." Said Kiba. "And don't hit mine or Tenten's. Hit anyone else's!"
"I would suggest either Naruto or Lee so that one of them will be eliminated." Tenten said. "Or Neji because he's the only one with three plates."
"I'll hit Naruto's then." Said Sasuke as he picked up a shuriken and looked at the plates. He didn't move for a moment and then squinted at the plates. "Naruto has three plates too… so I'll hit that one!"
Sasuke threw the shuriken, missing all plates. "What?!" he demanded, but then he put his hand on his head. "I need to sit down…my head hurts…" He decided to take a seat. And he did.
"All right, we're starting our cycle over again." Said Kurenai. "Naruto, you're up."
"I STILL say we have to hit Tenten." Said Shikamaru.
"Oh right!" said Naruto. "But I really want to hit Sasuke…"
"But he would have no idea that you hit him!" said Shikamaru, pointing at Sasuke who looked dazed. "After all, did he seem to notice Lee hitting his plate?"
"You're right!" said Naruto. "I'll hit one of Tenten's!"
He did just that.
"Oh no!" said Tenten. "I'm not going to get another turn!"
"All right, Ino…" started Shikamaru.
But Ino had already thrown hers at a random plate. She had hit Kiba's second one.
"Why did you do that?" Shikamaru asked, looking annoyed.
"I don't know!" Ino said with a shrug.
"MY PLATE!!" yelled Kiba.
Neji was next up. He could hear Shikamaru telling him to get Tenten out for good, but he was already focused on hitting another plate. It was a silly little plate that was hanging by itself. It was going to be destroyed.
And it was.
"Neji, I don't know if it's the best strategy to keep hitting Hinata's plates." Said Chouji boldly.
Neji glared at Chouji who backed off. Apparently he didn't know about the Main House and the Branch House and all the things that had—
"You should have gotten me out, Neji!" said Tenten as she threw her shuriken. What was heard then was five consecutive smashes as Neji's first plate blew up, then Naruto's last one, then Lee's last one, then Neji's second one, then Hinata's last one and then the shuriken, which had been ricocheting off all the plates, chipped a little piece off Neji's last one.
"Ah…" said Neji, in shock.
"Oh, I meant to smash that last one." Said Tenten, looking disappointed.
"Tenten has single handedly eliminated three competitors by only throwing one shuriken!!" said Asuma like an announcer. "That means that Naruto, Lee and Hinata will not be throwing anymore shuriken! They must sit out for the rest of the competition!!"
"I ONLY GOT TO THROW ONCE!!!" cried Lee. But the three of them had to sit down.
"Sorry Tenten, but I'm not about to have that happen again." Said Shikamaru as he threw the shuriken at Tenten's final plate, eliminating her from the competition as well.
"Come on, guys, I was going to get Neji out on my next turn." Said Tenten but she sat down anyway.
"There is one person eliminated from every team!!!" observed Gai.
Shino didn't currently have any beef with anyone, so he just decided to get rid of another thrower by finishing off Neji's last plate.
"And I was doing so well only two throws ago." Neji said, lowering his head. He wasn't talking to Tenten anymore. She tried to eliminate him from the game. He didn't like her anymore.
"Um…I guess I'm next because Hinata's out?" Chouji said.
"No, your team just misses your turn because Hinata's not there to make her throw." Said Kakashi.
"Aw man!" said Chouji.
"It's all you, Kiba!" said Kurenai.
"Hm…should I work to get rid of that team that only has Chouji left or should I work to make the other teams smaller?" Kiba wondered. "Oh well, I'll just hit Sakura again."
And he did so.
"Stop!" whined Sakura. "You've hit both my plates!"
"And I'll hit the last one too!" said Kiba ambitiously.
Sakura noticed that it was her turn. THEN she noticed that Kiba had only one plate left. She wasn't about to let him get another turn. So, without saying another word, she took out his last plate.
"HEY!!!" yelled Kiba as if he had reason to be angry.
"Kiba's OUT!" said Asuma.
"And we skip over this team because Lee's out!" said Gai.
"And now it's Chouji's turn!" Kurenai finished.
"I guess I'll just finish the job with Sakura…" Chouji decided as he threw the shuriken at Sakura's plate and broke it.
"Oh poo!" said Sakura.
"And Sakura's out as well." Kakashi said. "Now Sasuke, have you regained your composure?"
"My head still hurts…" Sasuke said as he stood up. He looked around, squinting for a plate that he could hit. All that was left was himself, Shikamaru, Ino, Shino and Chouji. But…there were so many plates…they were all over the place.
Sasuke rubbed his eyes. "I can't tell which plates are the real ones…" he said finally.
"Oh man!" said Kiba, throwing his hands up in the air. "We're going to lose!"
"Well, that one looks the realest…" Sasuke decided uneasily as he threw the shuriken but it passed right through the plate.
"That wasn't even near ANY plates." snickered Naruto.
"Damn it!" Sasuke said, pounding the table in anger.
"Now we're back to this first team." Said Kakashi. "But we skip Naruto and go right to Ino."
"Let's see…either Shikamaru, Chouji or Sasuke!" she said. "Definitely not Sasuke. Hm…well, sorry, Shikamaru!"
She threw the shuriken but it shattered one of Shino's plate.
She gasped.
"Oh man!" she said. "I didn't mean to do that! Not again!"
"Good job." Said Shino.
"So now we skip over Neji and Tenten and go straight to Shikamaru!" said Asuma, pointing at Shikamaru.
"Shino, I'm going after you for three logical reasons." Shikamaru said. "First, your turn is next and I don't want you to hit me. Second, you are the most competent thrower here besides myself. Third, you only have one plate left and I'd like to eliminate you."
And he did just that.
Shino tried not to let it bother him too much, but he cursed Shikamaru and Ino on the inside.
"There's only one member left on each team!!" yelled Gai. "And they all have two plates left!! How riveting!!"
Asuma cleared his throat. "My ENTIRE team is still in." he said. "Can't say the same for any of you…"
Then the turns were skipped all the way until Chouji! Chouji didn't want to hit Shikamaru, of course, so it came down between Ino and Sasuke. He knew Ino a lot better so he hit one of Sasuke's plates instead.
"I'll get you back for that, Chouji." Said Sasuke.
"Me too!" said Ino.
"Don't worry about them, Chouji." Said Shikamaru. "Neither of them will be able to hit you, I bet."
"But then YOU'LL have to get me out, Shikamaru!" said Chouji.
"You're going to have to hit my plates too, Chouji." Shikamaru pointed out.
"You're right!" said Chouji.
And it was Sasuke's turn. And he missed again. The poor dear.
Only one skip occurred and then it was Ino's turn! She threw the shuriken in attempt to hit Chouji but ended up smashing Shikamaru's plate.
"Hey." Said Shikamaru.
"Oops." Said Ino. "Oh well! I'll avenge you LATER, Sasuke!"
"No, I don't think so." Said Shikamaru. "According to all the skips, it's my turn now and I'm hitting you." And he did that.
"I've still got one more plate!" said Ino. "And I go before you!"
"Chouji?" said Shikamaru.
"Right, Shikamaru!" said Chouji as he threw the shuriken and killed Ino's last plate.
"That's not fair!!" said Ino.
"Ino is out!" said Kakashi. "So that means Team Two is out!"
"WE GAVE IT OUR ALL!!" yelled Lee. "AND THAT'S ALL THAT COUNTS!!"
"But we came in last." Said Shino.
"That's right…" said Lee. "But Neji didn't!!"
"Lee, as thoughtful as you're being for whatever reason you have, it's getting really annoying." Neji admitted.
Sasuke was determined to eliminate Shikamaru since he only had one plate left. He closed one eye and pointed the shuriken at one of the ten Shikamaru plates that he was seeing.
"I will have to go with my gut feeling…" he said, throwing the shuriken. He heard a shatter and his heart leapt, only to later fall when he heard Asuma announce that he had hit one of Chouji's remaining two plates. "Oh man… now they're both going to be going after me."
"Let me break this down." Said Shikamaru, turning to his team. "If I hit Chouji's plate, then it would only be me and Sasuke. Sasuke has a very small chance of hitting my plate so I would probably be able to hit his plate before he hit mine."
"So what are you waiting for?" asked Naruto.
"If I hit Sasuke's plate then Chouji would follow immediately after and only be able to hit mine, winning by default." Shikamaru continued.
"So…it's either win or lose, right?" said Sakura.
"What's the dilemma here?" said Naruto, looking confused. "Obviously you have to hit Chouji's."
"Right." Said Shikamaru, turning back around. He picked up the shuriken and threw it. A plate shattered and someone was eliminated.
Chouji burst into tears. "Oh Shikamaru!" he said.
The remains of Sasuke's plate fell to the ground.
"Sasuke, you're out." Said Kakashi.
Sasuke looked a bit out of it. He wasn't even really there.
"Shikamaru, you're the best friend a guy could ever have!" said Chouji.
"SHIKAMARU!!!" yelled Naruto and Sakura angrily. They needed any points they could get.
"I could never hit one of your plates, Shikamaru!" said Chouji as he picked up the shuriken.
"It's all right, Chouji, I know you have to." Said Shikamaru.
"Come on!" said Gai. "Hurry up!"
Chouji looked at the shuriken in his hand, then at Shikamaru's plate hanging by the string. Right next to it was Chouji's own plate. Chouji took a deep breath and threw the shuriken, intentionally knocking down his own plate.
"Chouji?" said Shikamaru, his eyes widening.
"You're my best friend, Shikamaru!!" said Chouji. "I told you I could never hit your plate!"
"Yeah but…" started Shikamaru, at a loss for words.
"You planned that all along, didn't you?" said Naruto. "I knew it."
"No you didn't." said Sakura.
Neji slapped his forehead in disappointment. He wanted to win. Hinata didn't really care. She loved friendship!
"Okay…so that means Naruto, Shikamaru and Sakura win!" said Kakashi. "Chouji, Neji and Hinata came in second! Kiba, Tenten and Sasuke came in third! And Ino, Shino and Lee are the LOSERS!"
"How about we say 'non-winners'?" said Lee, doing quotey things.
"Whatever." Said Kakashi. "You guys can be the non-winners."
"Good job everyone!" said Gai. He ran up to each person and ruffled their hair individually. "Congratulations! You all tried your hardest!!" Everyone looked at Gai strangely. That was weird even for him.