February 1959
I was lugging a basket of laundry into the house, when I caught my foot on the step and tripped over. I lay there for a second, cursing, before pushing myself up. From behind a pair of hands came under me to help me up, startling me, and I lashed out collecting someone across the face with the back of my hand before dragging myself to my feet and running into the house and hiding in the bathroom where I was violently ill.
"Annie, it's me Hawkeye, what's wrong and why is Dad sporting the world's best shiner I've ever seen?" Hawkeye came into the bathroom, a few minutes later, I was sitting by the toilet, shaking.
"Don't come near me, don't touch me." I whimpered, deathly scared of what would happen if he touched me.
"Steady on girl, it's only me. Get up." Hawkeye reached to take my hand and help me up. My skin revolted at the tender touch, and I feared for my life.
"Get away from me, don't touch me!" I curled tighter into a ball and hunched away. I couldn't bear to be touched, my skin was prickling and the thought of physical contact left me feeling sick to the stomach.
"Alright, I won't touch you. Can you tell me what's wrong?"
"He was going to rape me! He was going to rape me so I hit him!"
"Dad? He wouldn't touch you, what's wrong?" Hawkeye lay a gentle hand on my forehead.
"Get off of me!" I screamed, pushing Hawkeye so hard that he fell on his backside on the floor. I'd seen him scared, for himself, for others, for me but never scared of me, but there was plain fear in his eyes as he hurried from the bathroom.
"Anne, it's Daniel, I don't know why you're saying I tried to rape you, but I would never do anything like that. I'm sorry if you thought that." Daniel was trying to make amends to see if that would calm me. "Come on, come on out of here." Daniel put a hand on my arm, but I swung out so viciously that he was lucky he ducked. He too left the room in a hurry, while I vomited into the toilet over and over again, trying to loose the sickening feeling that had overwhelmed me when he touched me.
"Say Annie, can I come talk to you?" Edna's voice called through the door. I took a deep breath.
"Okay, just don't let anyone else in." I said weakly Edna was female and I felt her to be less of a threat.
"Annie, you gave my Dan a real good shiner! I'm worried that you ain't quite yourself."
"He was going to rape me Edna! I had to hit him." I began sobbing uncontrollably, fighting for breath in noisy gasps. Edna gasped and left the room as I heard her rounding on Daniel.
"Daniel Julius Pierce! If what Anne told me in there was true, you sure have some explaining to do!" I was gasping for air, and I heard Daniel and Hawkeye trying to calm the irate woman.
I couldn't explain it, all I knew was that if they touched me, they'd rape me and it was several hours before I ventured out of the bathroom and into the spare bedroom, where I locked myself in. I didn't want to see anyone, not even the kids and Hawkeye wouldn't let them in to see me, in case out of pure fear I hurt them, or their mother's appearance - shaking, sobbing, and deathly afraid - was scary to them.
"Thanks Margaret, no, you're doing enough now by taking the kids, we don't want to upset Alison. Honestly this is enough and she's lashed out at me already and I don't want you to get hurt." Outside the safety of the room, I had realised that Hawkeye was sending the kids to stay with Margaret for their safety, as much as anything else.
"If you're sure, but if you need anything, just call. Come on darlings." Margaret and the kids left.
"Annie, it's Edna again, my Dan wouldn't rape you I know that. . ."
"Dammit Edna, he would! They all would! Just get out!" Edna scuttled from the room.
"Has Anne ever been raped?" Edna asked. I'd crept out, to get something to eat, and as I made a sandwich, I heard them talking.
"Yes she was in a POW camp for nearly three weeks." Hawkeye replied. "She was raped frequently by the CO."
"Of course, something in how I touched her, must have spooked her." Daniel said. "Did she ever mention tripping and falling on stairs?"
"She was thrown down them often, but never in relation to rape. I think it always happened in the CO's quarters. It's never affected her before though, sure she was a tiny bit apprehensive the first time we were together after the whole thing, but she's never pulled away from physical contact in any form."
"I'm worried for her, really." Daniel's voice was concerned as I finished my sandwich.
"I'm calling Sidney, he helped her through it initially, he's the only one who knows Annie's mind that well." I heard Hawkeye pick up the phone, but I also heard footsteps approaching so I ran back to the haven of my room.
"He said we shouldn't rely on him as we're no longer in Korea, and he won't always be able to leave work, but he said it's also an emergency and he'll be here as soon as he can. In the meanwhile, we're not to touch her, and to give her as much room as possible." Hawkeye's voice was outside my door.
"I just want to help," Edna said anxiously.
"Well leave her alone, we're all going to." Daniel said. "Come on, let's try and relax somewhere else." Relax, that was easy for him to say, but I couldn't relax, I knew if I relaxed, they'd come close enough to touch me, and if they could touch me, they'd rape me.
"I'm just going to go in and be as cheerful and natural as possible, you're treating her like fine china, maybe normality in a sense will help." Sidney's voice roused me from a fitful sleep.
"Hi Anne!" Sidney came into my room.
"Sid I wouldn't . . ." Hawkeye warned as Sidney put a hand on my back.
"Get off, don't you dare touch me!" Sidney and a split lip were seen hastily out of the room.
"I don't think she told you everything when she was in the POW camp. I'm going to use a form of hypnotherapy to get it all out of her, you can come in when I say, but when you do, you must stay perfectly quiet as any noise may disturb her and interrupt the process." I was listening carefully to every word Sidney said.
"Okay, good luck Sid." Daniel replied and taking a deep breath, Sidney knocked on the door. I hurried back to the bed and buried myself in the covers.
"Annie, it's Doctor Freedman, I know you're scared, but I need you to trust me, I'm going to come in, because I want to talk to you. I'll stay right by the door, I promise I won't touch or hurt you. Okay, I'm coming in, it's okay, see? I'll just close the door, and sit down here and talk."
"Stay away!" I shrieked as true to his word, Sidney came in, closed the door and sat on a chair beside the bed.
"I'll stay right here, I won't lay a hand on you, I swear. Now, focus on this pen, this is the only thing you need to worry about is this pen. Just the pen, nothing else." My vision blurred and I saw the pen he held. "Only the pen Annabelle. Do you know who is holding the pen?"
"I see only the pen." I replied in spite of myself.
"Good, Hawkeye, Daniel you can come in now. Annabelle, I'm going to ask you a few questions. . ."
Dum, dum, dum . . . *suspense music* what will Annie say? I'm going to put the next bit in a new chapter because I'm changing POV, as Annie isn't really with it and it'll be too hard to write from her perspective.
I was lugging a basket of laundry into the house, when I caught my foot on the step and tripped over. I lay there for a second, cursing, before pushing myself up. From behind a pair of hands came under me to help me up, startling me, and I lashed out collecting someone across the face with the back of my hand before dragging myself to my feet and running into the house and hiding in the bathroom where I was violently ill.
"Annie, it's me Hawkeye, what's wrong and why is Dad sporting the world's best shiner I've ever seen?" Hawkeye came into the bathroom, a few minutes later, I was sitting by the toilet, shaking.
"Don't come near me, don't touch me." I whimpered, deathly scared of what would happen if he touched me.
"Steady on girl, it's only me. Get up." Hawkeye reached to take my hand and help me up. My skin revolted at the tender touch, and I feared for my life.
"Get away from me, don't touch me!" I curled tighter into a ball and hunched away. I couldn't bear to be touched, my skin was prickling and the thought of physical contact left me feeling sick to the stomach.
"Alright, I won't touch you. Can you tell me what's wrong?"
"He was going to rape me! He was going to rape me so I hit him!"
"Dad? He wouldn't touch you, what's wrong?" Hawkeye lay a gentle hand on my forehead.
"Get off of me!" I screamed, pushing Hawkeye so hard that he fell on his backside on the floor. I'd seen him scared, for himself, for others, for me but never scared of me, but there was plain fear in his eyes as he hurried from the bathroom.
"Anne, it's Daniel, I don't know why you're saying I tried to rape you, but I would never do anything like that. I'm sorry if you thought that." Daniel was trying to make amends to see if that would calm me. "Come on, come on out of here." Daniel put a hand on my arm, but I swung out so viciously that he was lucky he ducked. He too left the room in a hurry, while I vomited into the toilet over and over again, trying to loose the sickening feeling that had overwhelmed me when he touched me.
"Say Annie, can I come talk to you?" Edna's voice called through the door. I took a deep breath.
"Okay, just don't let anyone else in." I said weakly Edna was female and I felt her to be less of a threat.
"Annie, you gave my Dan a real good shiner! I'm worried that you ain't quite yourself."
"He was going to rape me Edna! I had to hit him." I began sobbing uncontrollably, fighting for breath in noisy gasps. Edna gasped and left the room as I heard her rounding on Daniel.
"Daniel Julius Pierce! If what Anne told me in there was true, you sure have some explaining to do!" I was gasping for air, and I heard Daniel and Hawkeye trying to calm the irate woman.
I couldn't explain it, all I knew was that if they touched me, they'd rape me and it was several hours before I ventured out of the bathroom and into the spare bedroom, where I locked myself in. I didn't want to see anyone, not even the kids and Hawkeye wouldn't let them in to see me, in case out of pure fear I hurt them, or their mother's appearance - shaking, sobbing, and deathly afraid - was scary to them.
"Thanks Margaret, no, you're doing enough now by taking the kids, we don't want to upset Alison. Honestly this is enough and she's lashed out at me already and I don't want you to get hurt." Outside the safety of the room, I had realised that Hawkeye was sending the kids to stay with Margaret for their safety, as much as anything else.
"If you're sure, but if you need anything, just call. Come on darlings." Margaret and the kids left.
"Annie, it's Edna again, my Dan wouldn't rape you I know that. . ."
"Dammit Edna, he would! They all would! Just get out!" Edna scuttled from the room.
"Has Anne ever been raped?" Edna asked. I'd crept out, to get something to eat, and as I made a sandwich, I heard them talking.
"Yes she was in a POW camp for nearly three weeks." Hawkeye replied. "She was raped frequently by the CO."
"Of course, something in how I touched her, must have spooked her." Daniel said. "Did she ever mention tripping and falling on stairs?"
"She was thrown down them often, but never in relation to rape. I think it always happened in the CO's quarters. It's never affected her before though, sure she was a tiny bit apprehensive the first time we were together after the whole thing, but she's never pulled away from physical contact in any form."
"I'm worried for her, really." Daniel's voice was concerned as I finished my sandwich.
"I'm calling Sidney, he helped her through it initially, he's the only one who knows Annie's mind that well." I heard Hawkeye pick up the phone, but I also heard footsteps approaching so I ran back to the haven of my room.
"He said we shouldn't rely on him as we're no longer in Korea, and he won't always be able to leave work, but he said it's also an emergency and he'll be here as soon as he can. In the meanwhile, we're not to touch her, and to give her as much room as possible." Hawkeye's voice was outside my door.
"I just want to help," Edna said anxiously.
"Well leave her alone, we're all going to." Daniel said. "Come on, let's try and relax somewhere else." Relax, that was easy for him to say, but I couldn't relax, I knew if I relaxed, they'd come close enough to touch me, and if they could touch me, they'd rape me.
"I'm just going to go in and be as cheerful and natural as possible, you're treating her like fine china, maybe normality in a sense will help." Sidney's voice roused me from a fitful sleep.
"Hi Anne!" Sidney came into my room.
"Sid I wouldn't . . ." Hawkeye warned as Sidney put a hand on my back.
"Get off, don't you dare touch me!" Sidney and a split lip were seen hastily out of the room.
"I don't think she told you everything when she was in the POW camp. I'm going to use a form of hypnotherapy to get it all out of her, you can come in when I say, but when you do, you must stay perfectly quiet as any noise may disturb her and interrupt the process." I was listening carefully to every word Sidney said.
"Okay, good luck Sid." Daniel replied and taking a deep breath, Sidney knocked on the door. I hurried back to the bed and buried myself in the covers.
"Annie, it's Doctor Freedman, I know you're scared, but I need you to trust me, I'm going to come in, because I want to talk to you. I'll stay right by the door, I promise I won't touch or hurt you. Okay, I'm coming in, it's okay, see? I'll just close the door, and sit down here and talk."
"Stay away!" I shrieked as true to his word, Sidney came in, closed the door and sat on a chair beside the bed.
"I'll stay right here, I won't lay a hand on you, I swear. Now, focus on this pen, this is the only thing you need to worry about is this pen. Just the pen, nothing else." My vision blurred and I saw the pen he held. "Only the pen Annabelle. Do you know who is holding the pen?"
"I see only the pen." I replied in spite of myself.
"Good, Hawkeye, Daniel you can come in now. Annabelle, I'm going to ask you a few questions. . ."
Dum, dum, dum . . . *suspense music* what will Annie say? I'm going to put the next bit in a new chapter because I'm changing POV, as Annie isn't really with it and it'll be too hard to write from her perspective.