There was a sensation of a thousand screws cramming through the side of her abdomen and her temple; keeling over, Nami tried to breathe in deeply in attempt to clear the strange smothering sensation in her head. However, she found that her throat hurt as though she had run a marathon, and only managed to suck in shallow breath as she fell out of her bed.
"V-Vivi,"
She barely managed to choke out the name, but her eyes found the bed across empty and just as neat as it had been that morning. Her sight wavered and she watched the room revolve around her dizzily before gritting her teeth and forcing herself to stand up. She tried to make her way, half-staggering to the table so she could get another sleeping pill, but instead tripped over her feet and fell with a crash into an upturned chair.
Her head fell with a harsh bang against a table leg, and Nami clutched at her temples. She would have berated herself for being so clumsy, but at the moment she was feeling horrified at how little the physical pain seemed to measure against the throbbing in her brain.
The world still seemed to be swirling; something was obscuring her vision... with her cheek still plastered to the cold floor, she felt it melt and change to the grainy surface of wood, and her eyes followed the strange, gentle swaying of the dark silhouettes of the table legs and the crumpled blanket against her bed, as though on waves.
She squinted, can could just make out more silhouettes... of sleeping figures. Suddenly, a burning heat seared through her body, and her head spun as she tried to get a grasp on what she was seeing.
Was...was this when... I-- m-my past self was sick...? Back in the Going Merry--
She could make out Luffy's scar and Usopp's long nose amongst a tangle of material, along with a snoring Zoro with his sword-sheaths strewn on the floor beside him as Karue provided feathery pillows for them. And Vivi was quietly sleeping beside her, a light sheen of moonlight reflecting off her blue hair... the scene dissolved into a dark mess of grey before returning her sight to her room with a thud.
She felt an involuntary smile light up her lips.
Of course... I was so happy that they were so worried. I don't know all of the qualities friendship has to offer, yet... but, I... I realised that night that they worry about me. They actually care to think and feel concern... not because I'm a navigator... because-- because it's me...
To her surprise, tears began to spill over her already swollen eyes; she wanted to wipe them away, but found that she couldn't feel anything but deadened nerves in her arms.
Without warning, a derisive snort sounded in her head.
That's right. That's why they want you to help them now.
"Wh-wh---wha---?"
Nami found her throat too constricted to speak properly, but that didn't stop her eyes from darting about wildly in shock at the sudden voice.
Don't be stupid. You know who I am.
The navigator swallowed with difficulty before thinking tentatively,
You're.... my past self, aren't you?
Or in other words, I'm your soul. I'm you, actually.
I don't believe this. First I go through extremely disconcerting visions, and now, I'm talking to myself. I'm growing schizophrenic, aren't I--
Wrong! Your denial split us apart. Or at least, it's about to.
What are you talking about? Split what apart?
Think about it this way. You have a past self, and a present self. No matter how you look at it, you are both the same person. But if there is denial, then two personalities are forced to form from separation. In other words... I'm what you're trying to reject.
...But I thought you said that you're my soul.
Exactly. Remember what Luffy said?
...."You're ripping yourself apart." I thought he was being metaphorical or something.
Another snort of laughter.
Luffy? Metaphorical?
So... if I get rid of you, my soul, whatever, I'll stop having these stupid dreams?
There was a dead silence. Then,
What the freaking hell in all four oceans are you talking about?
You said it yourself. You're my past self, created from my denial. And we're about to split apart.
A sense of urgency filled the identical voice in Nami's head.
Don't tell me you have no idea of what implications breaking a soul away from its body means!
So I won't go to Heaven. Big deal.
Am I really this moronic, or is it just the fact I'm really planning on denying my own soul again? God help me, I want to get back into myself. To hell with it, I AM YOU.
NO YOU AREN'T!!!
Nami exploded, her eyes narrowing as she grit her teeth,
I'm just a normal university student attending GLU, okay?! I don't have to do anything about this supposed 'past life' of mine! Kale's a jerk for expecting it from me!
No he's not! Everyone is!
I can't do it! You can't make me do it, either.
You mean you won't let yourself do it.
Stop trying to screw me over! I-- I--
She heard Luffy yell out for her villagers to hear she was his partner, saw the rim of his straw-hat on her head; saw Zoro protect her from Buggy's pirates by the cannon, heard him taunt her for being too weak to watch anyone die at her expense; heard Usopp yell at her for being idiotic for trying to run across a patch of tack-stars, saw him grappling ropes at the dock of Logue Town; saw Sanji offer his latest plate of delicacies to her, heard his voice call out her name in his cheerful tilt.
And finally, for the first time since it unconciously occurred to her earlier on as she tore the dormitory apart, admitted it to herself.
I want to go back.
Tears began to drip past her chin as she crouched into a ball against her bed.
I want to return to the sea where I'd sketch out maps and settle at the front deck. I want to smell the salt in the winds and the orange scent from the trees behind the cabin. I want to see-- see everyone do everything so carefreely -- see Luffy fish, Usopp experiment as he lies outrageously to gullible Chopper, Zoro snore, and Sanji cook something ridiculously lavish. I do. I want to go back.
...Then...
You are me, right? Then-- then you know why. You know why. He-- he died for me. I can't take it. I don't understand him, or any sort of sacrifice like that. Why? What am I for him to do that? I never asked for it... I never-- I'll never understand. If-- if--
Her own thoughts cracked as she twisted blankets into her fists as she sobbed openly into the fabric.
If that happened-- if that situation were to arise in my life-- I would never have done that. What am I doing in a crew full of people who are knit together in trust and unspoken friendship and understanding? I can hardly understand myself, let alone what that stupid chef did. What-- right-- do I have to be sacrificed for? I can't go back... I don't deserve to go back...!
A hand gripped her shirt over her chest as she whispered out loud,
"I want to go back... but... don't you see...? I... I can't."
Full-blown pain wracked through her body before soaking into her brain; she cried uncontrollably, the lamenting clamour in her head too loud for her to be able to hear what her soul was trying to desperately tell her.
Then... another voice filled her head.
You don't have to go through this.
"Wh-what?"
Nami stammered, looking around once more, but knew it had to be another voice. But whose on earth could it be? It had muffled the pain, in any case, and was now speaking in soothing tones.
You heard me. You don't have to suffer like this, little girl. If control is slipping through your fingers... if you can't stand the pain... you can give the control to someone else...
NO!!!
The shout startled Nami, and the next thing she knew she could only describe as an excruciating clawing in the confines of her skull. Tears of pain leaked past her cheeks as she tried to make it stop; her fingernails dug into her scalp as she began to howl unearthly wails of pain and frustration.
Enraged voices cried and snarled in her head viciously; she gripped her head and screamed, wanting to make the voices go away-- to stop tormenting her-- wanted to blot it out, to blot--
Her vision blacked out and her mind fell blissfully blank as she crumpled onto the floor, unconcious from exhaustion.
Merii was unsure of how to approach the topic, but remembering Krow's reaction the previous day made Merii determined to ask her. As Kaya settled down on the sofa and opened up a novel, her manager cautiously settled next to her. This caught her attention immediately.
"Is something wrong?"
"I was just... wondering about the long-nosed fellow you seem to be acquainted with recently."
He said slowly. Her eyes seemed to narrow as she replied just as slowly,
"Yes, what about Usopp-san?"
He decided to get straight to the point.
"I haven't got the best of best feelings of him... I mean, there are certain classes some people should follow, and... I don't know... how do you know each other?"
"That's a little difficult to explain."
She admitted, flushing a little. He frowned at the reaction.
"So he asked you for an autograph, did he?"
"Er, no..."
"Or a photograph or two? Perhaps a free poster, or CDs?"
Kaya frowned.
"What?"
"Please don't take me wrong, miss, but with your state of mind... quite easy to manipu--"
"What are you exactly implying here?"
He ran back to original course as he continued as though he hadn't heard her,
"Maybe he wants to introduce you to his friends? Get in touch with other actors or actresses?"
"Merii--"
"Did he seem interested in your way of life?"
Her manager added quickly,
"Ask anything about the mansion?"
"Why do you want to know that?"
So he had asked! Merii avoided her cool gaze as he stared into his cup of green tea, wondering how to explain that this was how stalkers and money-grubbing people got what they wanted.
"Those type of people always have a motive, Miss Kaya. You're too innocent to realise that's not how the world works. So he was interested in riches, was he? Did he ask you for anything? Any favours? Did he want something-- say... like a loan?"
Kaya slammed her book down onto the coffee table, her eyes flashing furiously at the startled manager.
"Don't you dare say that about Usopp-san, ever again!"
She said, her voice raised to an angered pitch Merii had never had to hear from her before,
"The only thing he's ever been interested in is nothing materialistic!!"
With that, she threw a final glare over her shoulder as she collected her book and ran up the stairs, looking terribly affronted.
Merii sat, his jaw dropped open at the unexpected display of pure anger from the usually quiet and demure girl. Then his brows furrowed in deep concern.
I knew it! That Usopp or whatever is poisoning the sweet soul of Miss Kaya! He-- he actually twisted her perspective enough to yell at me! Oh... how can I stop Miss Kaya from making the wrong choices before it's too late?
"...and I promise, I swear, I really really promise I'll never use the money to buy another pack of bubblegum again. Amen."
Opening his eyes hopefully as he untangled his fingers from their tight clasp, Kale inserted the RLB card into the slot of the RLB value measuring machine. He drooped as the numbers that popped up at the screen said 'No value left. Please use a Red Line Bank Value-adder to add value' for about the fifty-third time. He pressed the button next to the slot and deftly caught the card as it popped out. Then he closed his eyes and put his hands together again.
"God, I know You want me to stop asking, but I really can't live without another bar of chocolate for another hour. Please, please please please refill the RLB card again. I promise, really I do, that I won't use it to buy any batteries, sugar doughnuts, packets of icing sugar, action figures, candy-apples, whole roast turkeys, macadamia nut-filled chocolates, sesame ice-cream cones, toffee, double-decker super chocolate cones, butter-scotch candies, chocolate milk, cream-filled cakes or crisps ever again, and I promise, I swear, I really really promise I'll never use the money to buy another pack of bubblegum again. Amen."
He eagerly stuck the card back into the machine. Nothing, again. He sighed, grabbing the RLB card and getting ready to start praying again when an incredulous exclamation sounded behind him.
"Kale?!"
Surprised, the black-haired child turned around-- only to be smacked across the face with earth-shattering force. Trying to blink stars out of his eyes as he readjusted the glasses now precariously balancing at the end of his nose, Kale peered into the eyes of the offender -- and let out a gasp of shock.
"Rendel?!"
"That's right,"
The girl hissed, her eyes narrowed as she grasped the front folds of Kale's red jumper into her fists,
"Now tell me what the hell you're taking so long to do!"
"Erm,"
Kale said, but there wasn't much point to it because she just rattled on, her dark hair looking frazzled as her violet eyes flashed angrily.
"I don't believe that you're here! I nearly didn't recognise you but then who would, we're in other forms, but everyone knows Monkey D. Luffy Upstairs, right? Still-- the eyes, -- nearly didn't realise, 'cause the glasses nearly threw me off. Still, realised who you were, though. So what are you doing here? I mean, you should be here, but you shouldn't be at the same time! I meant, what are you still doing here?! God sent you here like what, 17 years ago, and you-- you're-- oh my goodness,"
She gasped, her eyes widening as she let go of Kale and stared at his form fully,
"You're-- you're--!"
"Twelve years old,"
Kale said deflatedly,
"I know."
Her cheeks grew red as she yelped,
"You reincarnated yourself?!!"
"I got a favour off Rainte,"
He said lamely, feeling himself shrink as Rendel glared angrily at him.
"You mean Rainte reincarnated you without telling anyone?!"
"God knows. He knows everything,"
He began, when she yelled,
"You could have told me!!"
"Well, what the @#$% are YOU doing here?"
He snapped, and she rolled her eyes.
"I was just told to keep an eyes on you to make sure you weren't bungling things up."
"God sent you?!"
"Of course He did. Now I see why, if you killed yourself at-- let's see-- 5 years of age!! You already know how to screw things u--"
"Sorry, let me say that again. God sent you?"
She scowled.
"Funny. Well, nothing's been happening to the Oda Dimension at all. If you're here, I suppose it means you've met them all already?"
"Yeah."
"Made them see Their Last Day?"
"Of course."
"Got them to figure out a way to save their dimension?"
There was a silence before Kale attempted hopefully,
"You know, you look rather young, too..."
"Yes, I'm ten. Now answer my question. Or are you going to prove me right?"
Her violet eyes seemed to brighten with savage triumph as she watched him silently look down at his sneakers. Then the silence seemed to stretch for too long. Rendel raised an eyebrow, when--
"Hey! Aren't you Violet?"
Rendel blinked, startled at the sudden change in tone and voice. She looked into the brightened eyes of the boy, and her face darkened angrily.
"Kale, you coward! Come back out!"
She started to demand, but was interrupted as a voice called out,
"Yuko! Yuko? Where are you?"
Rendel scowled, but reverted control back to the other soul.
"Coming,"
The girl began, when Luffy asked curiously,
"Wait a minute! You are Violet, aren't you?"
The small girl blinked as a university student Luffy recognised from around GLU approached them.
"Yuko, I told you to stay next to me while I was extracting money,"
She said with a frown. Her eyes glanced over to Luffy.
"Do you know this boy?"
She asked, and the girl shook her head. Kale had to shove Luffy to the back of his mind to prevent a passionate response from erupting out of his mouth. He looked innocently up at the student, who examined him curiously before shrugging and taking the hand of her little sister.
"But you know, Yuina-nee-san,"
Said Yuko thoughtfully as they walked away from the RLB card value-measuring machines,
"That boy knew my English name."
"What?"
Yuina turned round in surprise at this information, but the boy was gone.
Zoro scuffed the toes of his sneakers into the concrete as he walked. He had actually skipped breakfast and gone out for an early morning walk. The fresh air, he supposed, was supposed to do him good. It didn't help that now he knew what a truly clean world was actually like because the area now seemed clogged up with pollution. But he doubted that clean air would have helped much more, anyway.
He was thinking about a certain girl, and he really just didn't know what to do. Okay, so the exchange they had had the previous night in front of the cafe had been beyond demented. But he really wanted to see her, as least to tie up the loose ends of their strange break-up of a building relationship.
He had finally remembered who she was last night, after their weird meeting. And he now fully remembered Kuina, too...
In their previous life... okay, he had been the one running from her. He knew it. But this time, it felt weird to realise now who the one running was. He had always wanted her off his back, disgusted at the memories and complications seeing her brought up... but this time, she wasn't a marine. And he had been interested in her for herself, not because of Kuina, this time...
He thought about that, for a moment. He wondered where Kuina was... then he remembered taking her with him when he had died. Of course. Kuina was in him.
He shook his head, deciding the main problem here was the idiotic swordswoman. He hadn't done anything to instigate her anger-- not to his memory, by any rate-- back the library. He still didn't understand what she had been so upset about. She'd been crying.
He scratched his head as he tried to recall exactly what he'd said. He'd brought up the idea they might be linked through unknown memories... but why would that make her mad? It had to be something else.
Maybe she'd remembered who he was. Perhaps that was the case - except he expected her to be thrashing him over the head and yelling about injustice to the crying swords. But then again, he didn't have Kuina's sword with him...
It had been nice just talking to her before the incident in the library, after all; she was really absurd and clumsy, and seemed to be firm in her opinions and beliefs. And she allowed herself to listen to others. She was easy to poke fun at, too -- Zoro always had a kick out of getting her annoyed.
Zoro realised, more than anything he wanted to do now, he just wanted to talk to her.
"Oi, dumbass prince. If... someone keeps running from you. What do you do?"
He opened his eyes, looking up at the lightening sky turning from an alice-white to a pastel blue as he heard the dumbass cook's advice echo through his mind once more.
"I go after her."
A/N: Gomen for the delay in updating... two weeks, was it? ^_^;; Not that you were dying of suspense, anyway... but I was really hectic in coursework and exam revision and I thought I was going to die from the overload of Graphics. But no matter, that's done and done with. I've got a heckload of exams in two weeks, so if possible I will try and get some chapters done in advance. Thanks for reviewing, everyone... I always feel better to know that people do appreciate the fanfic, it makes me feel deliriously happy for One Piece. XD So, as always -- though I truly mean it everytime -- thank you for bearing me with me uptil now. SARS may still prevail, but it won't be long 'till the summer weather kills it off. It's awfully hot and muggy here in summer, see. So... maybe it'll just disappear in a puff of smoke! Yes! Err... I hope.
note:: Violet's ... er, a plug from another fanfic I wrote. =.=; I'm soooo sad. But it was just a little self-indulgence, really. Gomen nasai. ;;;