She's Automatic

she asked me if I would stand by
her side like glue that I would till the end of the night
my head was spinnin' a million miles an hour
the chance I was takin' I get anxious around her
she put her head on my shoulder I started to hold her
swingin' and swayin' the morning began

"Sirius…"

From in between its paws, the dog raised its head.

How hadn't she known? How had she just begun to suspect? Vala leaned towards the dog, and placing her hands delicately on either side of his head, began to feel again. Padfoot scooted forward and moving ever closer, began to shapeshift. His forelegs began to lengthen, his hair thinned, his shoulders broadened and his abdomen straightened. His nose shortened, but the intensity of his brown eyes never changed. Vala stared into those eyes, seeing her past, her present and her future. She saw her secrets, her lies, and her love.

"Sirius," she repeated in a whisper, pulling him into her. "Sirius, oh god, Sirius…"

Sirius brought her into him. His arms wrapping her, he held her close to him.

Dropping her forehead unto his shoulder, she whispered, "Don't leave me, Sirius, never again. Don't leave me."

"I won't," he assured repeatedly, hugging her tighter.

"Please," she breathed, "Let me keep you just once."

He wanted to tell her that he never would. That he could hold her for all eternity, that he would never let her go or out of his sight. But how could he do that? How could he possibly express every emotion he'd ever felt for her--all the protection, affection and care? How could he even begin to summarize his feelings for her?

"Sirius," she began, her breath against his shoulder. "I love you."

So that's how it was done, he nodded. "I love you too."

. . . . . . . . .

"Marry you?" Gale repeated after Romulus, shock riddled. "Honest to God, marry you?"

Romulus pulled Gale into the bushes and clear from view. "Keep your voice down," he hushed. "You never know who might show up--it's better that we don't draw attention to ourselves."

"So you've said," she frowned. He pulled her near a bench and sat, gazing up at her.

"Gale-"

"I can't marry you, Romulus."

"What? I… I don't understand. Why not?"

Gale sighed softly. Crossing in front of him, his eyes following her religiously, she sat alongside him. She took his hands in hers. "I can't marry you, Romulus… Our, our relationship isn't like that." She looked away. "We don't really feel that way about each other."

"I do," he claimed, edging closer.

She turned to him, her eyes piercing but sad. "You do now, but-"

"Don't you feel that way too?" he asked, leaning forward, his eyes pleading.

"Yes, yes, I do-"

"Then what's wrong?"

Gale shook her head. "I feel like that now…" Her eyes strayed away. "But what's not to change that?" she asked, focusing on him again. "What's to keep those feelings intact? I've felt like this before, Romulus, and that ended bitterly. Don't you think people will talk?"

"Talk?"

"About us. I'm only twenty, Romulus. You're thirty-five. Thirty-five, Romulus, that's fifteen years."

Romulus tilted his head slightly and his lips curled in an amused smile. "I assure you, love, stranger things have happened."

Gale shook her head and stepped to her feet. "No, Romulus, I'm sorry, but I can't marry you." She kissed his forehead. "I'm sorry it had to end like this, but it was bound to happen eventually… Nothing lasts forever."

"Even cold November rain," he whispered in reply, his head drooping.

She stopped for a moment, observing him with squinted eyes and parted lips. He still held her interest and she still loved him, but she had to leave him. She had to leave before he proposed again, before he convinced her to marry him. Feelings were momentary; feelings did not last. True love did not exist, and if it did, she would never find it… Because she was a harpless soul without a single trust. And so she left. She left him on that moonlit, crumbling bench. She left him to himself and his false conceptions of love.

. . . . . . . . .

"Grant?"

"Yes, love?"

Fae lay on Grant's chest, the beating of his heart pounding in her ear. "I believe Vala is safe now."

"You do?" he carefully propped himself up on his elbows.

Her eyes drifted to his. "Yeah."

"How do you know?"

She moved up to join him, his arms holding her and his muscles relaxing. She snuggled up next to him and wrapped a leg across him. "Because I know."

Grant was silent for a moment, considering what she had said. At length, "So everything's okay now?"

"More or less. Why?"

"Because I've missed you."

"Grant, I'm right here--Ooh…" Fae smirked and nuzzled up against him. "Like that, eh?"

. . . . . . . . .

"Vala, we should be getting back."

Vala stirred. Despite everything, she had slept well--she had needed it. Her eyes flickered. "Back? Back where?"

"Back home," he answered quietly.

She paused. "The cave in Hogsmeade? Sirius, we-"

"No… Back to Remus'," he corrected before she could say more. "He can keep us for now."

Vala paused. Sirius stood over her, his hand held out. She peered up at him, doubtful curiosity playing in her eyes. "Can we?"

"Why wouldn't we?"

She shrugged lightly. "Well, I thought, I thought…" she took his hand. He pulled her up and into his arms.

"You thought he wouldn't take us? You thought you long lost your welcome?"

"Well, yes."

His lip curved like a bow and his eyes warmed for her. "If you thought that," he said, gracefully turning away and leading her out of the woods. "Then you don't know Remus very well."

Vala followed behind Sirius, thoughts wading across her mind. Of course he would take them back. Remus loved them, more than anything. They were all he had now… He didn't have friends and Romulus was the last remnant of his family. Vala had Fae and Grant and now Sirius, but Remus… He was one she had never lost, why had she suspected otherwise?

"When I get home," she began proudly, "I'm going to have a cup of the finest tea in England."

Laughter silently danced inside Sirius' eyes as he looked back at her. "Oh? I thought you didn't like tea."

"I hate it," She said stiffly, a smile tugging on her. "But I love Remus."

Sirius nodded knowingly, and slowly together they made their way back.

. . . . . . . . .

Alcohol has a tendency of exaggerating a person's thoughts, but all exaggerations have some basis of truth. Right now, Romulus was using that truth and twisting it into an exaggeration.

"Bloody women," he breathed heavily, kissing another bottle of whiskey.

"Your lady up and leave you?" inquired a stranger, a considerable amount of scotch on his breath.

Normally Romulus wouldn't be in the mood to deal with strangers, but he was in a bitter, drunken haze tonight--and willing to talk. "Yeah," he answered shortly, sucking on his bottle again.

"Wife or mistress?" the man prodded, stabilizing himself on the bar.

"I don't have no bloody wife or bloody mistress," he answered sourly.

"Ah… Just a girlfriend," the stranger assumed, shifting back easily into his seat.

"A bloody good one!" Romulus exclaimed, jabbing his bottle at the air. "The bloody best!"

"What happened?"

"Would you believe it?" Romulus started, his eyes wild and the shock still driven hard inside him. "I went and bloody asked her to bloody marry me! Bloody wench…"

"Turned you down, eh?"

"Left me," he replied, deeply kissing his bottle.

"Ah… That's hard."

"Bloody right it's hard!" Romulus yelled, smashing his bottle on the tile. "You're sodding right it's hard!" Romulus got uneasily to his feet, "You know what it's like? You know how fucking bloody hard that is?" He prodded the stranger with a stern finger. "Get up the nerve to ask your bloody girl to marry you and the bloody wench goes off and leaves you? Not good enough, she says, too old, she says! People will talk, she says, feelings don't last." He jabbed his finger hard into the man's ribcage. "You know what that's like?"

"Well, I, I…" the man stuttered, slowly reaching for his wand. "No."

He poked him again. "No, I don't suppose you would… Ah, fuck it." Throwing his hands up, he tried a dramatic exit with a whirling cloak and robes. He received the whirl of cloaks; he also achieved a trick of feet. After catching his balance, he stumbled out of the bar and into the cool night.

"Bloody women."

. . . . . . . . .

"Vala… I wasn't going to say anything," Sirius started uneasily.

"But this is taking a long time," she finished.

"Yes, it is. You wouldn't happen to know how to Apparate, would you?"

Her eyes flickered to him and she smirked. "Twenty-eight and the former wife of Saxon Malfoy, how could I not?"

"Excellent. Then let's rock this place."

"Sirius?"

"Yup?" he chirped, rolling up his sleeves and preparing himself for Apparation.

"I know you were a punk rocker," she started, rolling up her sleeves as well, "But were you ever a hippie?"

He glanced at her, pulling his wand from his belt. "Do I look like the drug type?"

"Admittedly, yes," She paused briefly. "But not like that."

"I wasn't a hippie," he answered truthfully, "But I did smoke on occasion." He paused, allowing a quick memory of the past. Justifying himself, "It was the seventies--Who didn't?"

"I didn't," she countered, popping into Apparation.

Sirius, feeling he received an incomplete response, followed.

"What do you mean you didn't smoke?" Sirius followed up on Remus' doorstep.

"Exactly what I said, I didn't smoke," she said, welcoming herself into Remus' home. "Remus?"

Sirius followed behind her, a fountain of repeated questions spewing from his mouth. "What do you mean you didn't smoke?"

In reply, Vala addressed Remus. "Ah, Remus. Did you smoke weed at Hogwarts?"

"Of course not," he answered, looking up from a book. At first, he attempted to hide the relief of Fae's message; he tried to hide the joy that was leaping within him. A soft smile graced his lips, his eyes tainted with a faint light. "How are you?"

Sirius pointed around Vala at him. "We smoked in the Shrieking Shack, didn't we?"

"Sirius!" Vala shrieked, swinging on him.

"Well, we didn't just go there on full moons," Remus shrugged.

"Remus!" she twisted, turning on him.

The glow of Remus' smile fell on Vala. All three fell silent, glancing around at each other. It'd been a long time since the three of them had been together. When they had been younger, adventurous and naïve, they had left Peter at bars, Lily and James at home and gone off together regularly. When all other plans had failed, the three of them would find themselves together again--causing mischief for Muggles or harassing Wizards. They took flights nightly; they camped out at Remus' every night. They enjoyed a few drinks every couple Fridays… They fit together well. Sirius and Remus were friends; two bachelors with a younger sister. They cared and took after her. She tucked them in when they had been drinking too much or down with the flu. Over time, Remus had become Vala's sole brother and Sirius her most battled enemy. Eventually it was easier for Vala to fall in love with an enemy--someone she accounted herself greater or equal to.

But now all of that didn't matter. It didn't matter what they had felt or what they had done or seen. They were together again. It was just the three of them again. Memories and connections of the past drew them together again. Nothing else needed to be said, and the three of them joined on Remus' couch, hugging and laughing and crying, all at once.