Tears of Blood
**Author's note: this chapter contains many dream sequences as well as sequences that exist in real time. To avoid possible confusion, dream sequences will be marked at the beginning and end with asterisks (*****), five to be exact. No real reason for this number, just a random one. As I said, this is to avoid confusion. If there is some, however, feel free to contact me and tell me so I can alter it accordingly**
"You really should lie down," Misato said, helping the sixteen-year-old into the apartment. Pen Pen, as soon as the door opened, launched himself at Narikage but, luckily, Misato was able to stick a foot out and halt his tackle. "No, Pen Pen. Narikage isn't feeling very well so let's hold off on the affection."
"It's alright." Narikage's soft tone startled her and she swiveled her head to look at him. Pulling away gently, he crouched in front of the small animal, a kind expression on his face that Misato had never seen before.
Pen Pen must have been puzzled too because he just stared at the boy for a long time, blinking. Then, finally realizing Narikage was actually level to him, he scuttled forward, rubbing the top of his head against the teen's chin. Narikage didn't exactly LAUGH, but she swore she heard him chuckle.
"That's enough, Pen Pen." With a little cluck, the penguin waddled back to his fridge, disappearing inside. Using Misato's arm as a brace, Narikage stood up again, wincing a little.
"What was that all about? I thought you didn't like Pen Pen."
"I never said that." His expression was indifferent again and Misato knew it was useless to try and get any other answer out of him.
"Well, anyway, like I was saying, you should go right into your room and lay down. I'll bring you something to eat a little later."
"Arigato, Miss Katsuragi." Carefully, using many of the objects along the way to support him, Narikage retreated to his small, well-kept room, softly rolling the door shut behind him.
With a sigh of weariness, he dropped onto his mattress, rolling onto his uninjured side, his eyes riveted to the wall. The room was dark, the dim light throwing shadows over him. God, he hated the night; it allowed too much time to think. . .to remember. . .
Sleep began to press down upon him, and, as always, he fought it, trying to stay conscious as long as possible. Despite his efforts, he could feel the weight increasing and, as he whimpered softly in fear, it consumed him. . .
*****
"NO! You can't do this to him! He's just a baby! How can you do this to your own son?!"
"We need to test it on someone!"
"That's no reason! NO!! You can't take him!"
"Mama! Mama, don't let them take me! I'll be good! Please!"
"Yoshiko!!"
*****
On the lumpy mattress, Narikage rolled over, another whimper escaping his lips. He knew he was dreaming and fought to climb free of the deep recess of his mind. But another memory washed over him, dragging him under the dark waters. . .
*****
The small, black-haired boy thrashes on the exam table, screaming, crying, yelling for his mother.
But they won't let him see her.
"Hold still!" The bellowing voice of his father scares him into a stunned silence and the scientists pounce, grabbing his arms, pinning him down and restraining him with heavy, leather straps. The child screams, kicking his feet but those too are tied down before he can accomplish anything. "This won't hurt at all, Yoshiko. Just stay still."
They're bringing a needle.
He hates needles.
"NO! No, Daddy! Onegi!" the boy screams, tears streaming down his face. But his pleas are ignored as they jam the needle into his upturned arm. At once, an immobilizing cold overtakes him and he slips into darkness. . .
*****
Misato stirred the pot of ramen slowly, concentrating. She wanted to give the poor boy something at least partially edible. A tray sat waiting on the table, a plate of toast already on it. She hadn't buttered it because she wasn't quite sure how he liked it. The tea was boiling on the other burner and she turned her attention to it, letting the ramen simmer for a bit.
As she was busy pouring tea, the woman thought she heard a pained moan come from Narikage's room. Instantly, she froze, listening hard for any other sound. But, when nothing else came, she returned to her activities, though was still on alert.
*****
His mother is rocking him now, crying with him. She's explained to him what he is now, what he will eventually become and they're weeping together. She is weeping for his lost innocence, he knows. But he doesn't know why he's crying.
The tears running down his face stop and he looks up at his mother, eyes confused, empty. "Mama-chan. . .why am I crying too? Why should I cry?" He can see the horror on her face at his words and she seizes his arms, giving him a firm, though gentle, shake.
"No, Yoshiko! Never question your emotions! No matter what, express what you're feeling! You must never give in to your new situation! Do you hear me?! Fight it! Feel! Be a human!"
"Hai, Mama. . ."
*****
Narikage was breathing heavily as he forced his eyes to open, as he forced himself to awake. Sweat was coating his body but he was shivering uncontrollably, so much so that he had extreme difficulty in pulling the sheets up around his trembling form. His side was throbbing in pain and he moaned with the pain of it, squeezing his eyes shut. As soon as he did, another wave of sleep began washing over him and before he could stop it, it swept him away. . .
*****
"Unit 01 is loosing control! We can't stop it!"
"Find a way!! She's still in there! Get her out!"
"We can't!"
The black-haired boy stands, paralyzed with fear, watching the huge machine thrash and buck against its restraints. A thought dawns over him at the same time that another small boy screams.
His mother is inside the unit.
"MAMA!!!" The black-haired boy whirls, catching the other boy before he can get any closer to the dangerous EVA. "NO! Let me go! We have to save Mama!"
"We can't help her now! We have to get back!"
"No! We have to--!"
"Listen to me!" He's gripping the younger boy by the shoulders now, staring into his dark blue eyes with his own paler ones. "I'll protect you, Otouto. I promise." Before he can stammer something more, the black-haired boy has scooped him up and is running from Unit 01. . .
The Unit his mother disappears into.
*****
This time, Misato was sure she heard a pained cry from the teenager's room. Forgetting the tray, she ran to the room, quickly sliding the door open. Narikage was curled up on his bed, shaking quite visibly, his body literally coated in perspiration. His eyes were closed but the lids, every so often, would give a violent jerk as if he were trying to awaken.
"Narikage!" She ran to his side, falling to her knees beside the bed, her hands on his shaking shoulders. The violence of his tremors nearly threw her back but she held on tighter, refusing to let go. "Narikage! Wake up! Narikage!!"
*****
He is dimly aware of the wailing child next to him but he can't bring himself to kneel and comfort him like he usually does. He is too busy watching his father speed off, without looking back, abandoning his children.
The children he'd never wanted.
"Papa! Come back!" Now he does catch the small boy, pulling him back into his stronger arms.
"Shh, Otouto. We don't need him." The brown-haired boy clings to him, crying into his shirt. "I won't leave you; I'll always be with you." His otouto raises his head, sniffing.
"Do you promise me, Yoshiko? Promise me you'll never leave me."
"I promise."
*****
Narikage could hear Misato calling him name and he could feel his head joggling back and forth as she desperately tried to wake him. He tried to show her he was awake... that he knew she was there, but he couldn't force the words, couldn't open his eyes. He felt the moisture gather in his eyes but before the tears could fall, he was falling back into that infinite blackness. . .
*****
Silent, the black-haired boy packs a duffle, taking only a few choice items he's already laid out. On the other bed, his otouto stirs in his sleep, rolling over. The black-haired boy pauses in his packing, staring at the tiny form.
He has to say good-bye.
Zipping the bag, he slips the strap over his shoulder and kneels in front of the tiny boy, shaking his shoulder gently. He is slow to wake but when he spies the duffle, he sits up suddenly, eyes big.
"You're leaving?!"
"Shhh!" He holds a finger to his lips, signaling quiet. If anyone else wakes up, he'll never escape. "Yes. I have to. I can't stay here anymore."
"Take me with you, Yoshiko! I don't want to be without you!" His otouto is crying now, his soft voice barely choked out past the tears. "You promised you'd never leave!" Silent, he pulls the weeping boy into his lap, rocking him like their mother used to.
"I will come back for you, Otouto. I swear it. But I need to find a place to live first and money. As soon as I do, I'll return and bring you back with me."
For a long time, they sit there, hugging each other, both crying their own tears. Finally, the black-haired boy stands, laying his otouto in bed and pulling up the covers.
"You won't forget, will you, Yoshiko?"
"I would never forget you, Otouto. You're the only brother I have." He feels the corner of his mouth lift in a small smile and bends, kissing the boys cheek. "I love you, little brother," he whispers into his ear before straightening.
With one last look back, the black-haired boy creeps from the dark bedroom.
*****
The boy in Misato's arms suddenly went limp, falling forward against her. Carefully, she pushed him back a little, cradling him in her arms as if he were just a child. She could see tiny pools of liquid forming at the corners of his eyes and gently reached up, wiping one away.
It was blood.
Her mouth agape in horror, the woman watched as twin trails of blood coursed down Narikage's cheeks instead of the expected tears. Unable to move, she just stared at the red streaks, a slight shudder tearing through her.
At her shudder, Narikage's eyes flew open and the blood was gone, replaced by nothing more than tears. For a long moment, the two stared at each other, neither unable to fathom what was going on.
Then, with a choked sob, Narikage flung himself fully into Misato's arms, wrapping his own around her neck and burying his face in her shoulder as sobs racked his built frame. Forgetting about the tears of blood, she hugged him close and rocked him.
**Translator's note: for those who don't know, Otouto is Japanese for 'little brother'**
**Author's note: this chapter contains many dream sequences as well as sequences that exist in real time. To avoid possible confusion, dream sequences will be marked at the beginning and end with asterisks (*****), five to be exact. No real reason for this number, just a random one. As I said, this is to avoid confusion. If there is some, however, feel free to contact me and tell me so I can alter it accordingly**
"You really should lie down," Misato said, helping the sixteen-year-old into the apartment. Pen Pen, as soon as the door opened, launched himself at Narikage but, luckily, Misato was able to stick a foot out and halt his tackle. "No, Pen Pen. Narikage isn't feeling very well so let's hold off on the affection."
"It's alright." Narikage's soft tone startled her and she swiveled her head to look at him. Pulling away gently, he crouched in front of the small animal, a kind expression on his face that Misato had never seen before.
Pen Pen must have been puzzled too because he just stared at the boy for a long time, blinking. Then, finally realizing Narikage was actually level to him, he scuttled forward, rubbing the top of his head against the teen's chin. Narikage didn't exactly LAUGH, but she swore she heard him chuckle.
"That's enough, Pen Pen." With a little cluck, the penguin waddled back to his fridge, disappearing inside. Using Misato's arm as a brace, Narikage stood up again, wincing a little.
"What was that all about? I thought you didn't like Pen Pen."
"I never said that." His expression was indifferent again and Misato knew it was useless to try and get any other answer out of him.
"Well, anyway, like I was saying, you should go right into your room and lay down. I'll bring you something to eat a little later."
"Arigato, Miss Katsuragi." Carefully, using many of the objects along the way to support him, Narikage retreated to his small, well-kept room, softly rolling the door shut behind him.
With a sigh of weariness, he dropped onto his mattress, rolling onto his uninjured side, his eyes riveted to the wall. The room was dark, the dim light throwing shadows over him. God, he hated the night; it allowed too much time to think. . .to remember. . .
Sleep began to press down upon him, and, as always, he fought it, trying to stay conscious as long as possible. Despite his efforts, he could feel the weight increasing and, as he whimpered softly in fear, it consumed him. . .
*****
"NO! You can't do this to him! He's just a baby! How can you do this to your own son?!"
"We need to test it on someone!"
"That's no reason! NO!! You can't take him!"
"Mama! Mama, don't let them take me! I'll be good! Please!"
"Yoshiko!!"
*****
On the lumpy mattress, Narikage rolled over, another whimper escaping his lips. He knew he was dreaming and fought to climb free of the deep recess of his mind. But another memory washed over him, dragging him under the dark waters. . .
*****
The small, black-haired boy thrashes on the exam table, screaming, crying, yelling for his mother.
But they won't let him see her.
"Hold still!" The bellowing voice of his father scares him into a stunned silence and the scientists pounce, grabbing his arms, pinning him down and restraining him with heavy, leather straps. The child screams, kicking his feet but those too are tied down before he can accomplish anything. "This won't hurt at all, Yoshiko. Just stay still."
They're bringing a needle.
He hates needles.
"NO! No, Daddy! Onegi!" the boy screams, tears streaming down his face. But his pleas are ignored as they jam the needle into his upturned arm. At once, an immobilizing cold overtakes him and he slips into darkness. . .
*****
Misato stirred the pot of ramen slowly, concentrating. She wanted to give the poor boy something at least partially edible. A tray sat waiting on the table, a plate of toast already on it. She hadn't buttered it because she wasn't quite sure how he liked it. The tea was boiling on the other burner and she turned her attention to it, letting the ramen simmer for a bit.
As she was busy pouring tea, the woman thought she heard a pained moan come from Narikage's room. Instantly, she froze, listening hard for any other sound. But, when nothing else came, she returned to her activities, though was still on alert.
*****
His mother is rocking him now, crying with him. She's explained to him what he is now, what he will eventually become and they're weeping together. She is weeping for his lost innocence, he knows. But he doesn't know why he's crying.
The tears running down his face stop and he looks up at his mother, eyes confused, empty. "Mama-chan. . .why am I crying too? Why should I cry?" He can see the horror on her face at his words and she seizes his arms, giving him a firm, though gentle, shake.
"No, Yoshiko! Never question your emotions! No matter what, express what you're feeling! You must never give in to your new situation! Do you hear me?! Fight it! Feel! Be a human!"
"Hai, Mama. . ."
*****
Narikage was breathing heavily as he forced his eyes to open, as he forced himself to awake. Sweat was coating his body but he was shivering uncontrollably, so much so that he had extreme difficulty in pulling the sheets up around his trembling form. His side was throbbing in pain and he moaned with the pain of it, squeezing his eyes shut. As soon as he did, another wave of sleep began washing over him and before he could stop it, it swept him away. . .
*****
"Unit 01 is loosing control! We can't stop it!"
"Find a way!! She's still in there! Get her out!"
"We can't!"
The black-haired boy stands, paralyzed with fear, watching the huge machine thrash and buck against its restraints. A thought dawns over him at the same time that another small boy screams.
His mother is inside the unit.
"MAMA!!!" The black-haired boy whirls, catching the other boy before he can get any closer to the dangerous EVA. "NO! Let me go! We have to save Mama!"
"We can't help her now! We have to get back!"
"No! We have to--!"
"Listen to me!" He's gripping the younger boy by the shoulders now, staring into his dark blue eyes with his own paler ones. "I'll protect you, Otouto. I promise." Before he can stammer something more, the black-haired boy has scooped him up and is running from Unit 01. . .
The Unit his mother disappears into.
*****
This time, Misato was sure she heard a pained cry from the teenager's room. Forgetting the tray, she ran to the room, quickly sliding the door open. Narikage was curled up on his bed, shaking quite visibly, his body literally coated in perspiration. His eyes were closed but the lids, every so often, would give a violent jerk as if he were trying to awaken.
"Narikage!" She ran to his side, falling to her knees beside the bed, her hands on his shaking shoulders. The violence of his tremors nearly threw her back but she held on tighter, refusing to let go. "Narikage! Wake up! Narikage!!"
*****
He is dimly aware of the wailing child next to him but he can't bring himself to kneel and comfort him like he usually does. He is too busy watching his father speed off, without looking back, abandoning his children.
The children he'd never wanted.
"Papa! Come back!" Now he does catch the small boy, pulling him back into his stronger arms.
"Shh, Otouto. We don't need him." The brown-haired boy clings to him, crying into his shirt. "I won't leave you; I'll always be with you." His otouto raises his head, sniffing.
"Do you promise me, Yoshiko? Promise me you'll never leave me."
"I promise."
*****
Narikage could hear Misato calling him name and he could feel his head joggling back and forth as she desperately tried to wake him. He tried to show her he was awake... that he knew she was there, but he couldn't force the words, couldn't open his eyes. He felt the moisture gather in his eyes but before the tears could fall, he was falling back into that infinite blackness. . .
*****
Silent, the black-haired boy packs a duffle, taking only a few choice items he's already laid out. On the other bed, his otouto stirs in his sleep, rolling over. The black-haired boy pauses in his packing, staring at the tiny form.
He has to say good-bye.
Zipping the bag, he slips the strap over his shoulder and kneels in front of the tiny boy, shaking his shoulder gently. He is slow to wake but when he spies the duffle, he sits up suddenly, eyes big.
"You're leaving?!"
"Shhh!" He holds a finger to his lips, signaling quiet. If anyone else wakes up, he'll never escape. "Yes. I have to. I can't stay here anymore."
"Take me with you, Yoshiko! I don't want to be without you!" His otouto is crying now, his soft voice barely choked out past the tears. "You promised you'd never leave!" Silent, he pulls the weeping boy into his lap, rocking him like their mother used to.
"I will come back for you, Otouto. I swear it. But I need to find a place to live first and money. As soon as I do, I'll return and bring you back with me."
For a long time, they sit there, hugging each other, both crying their own tears. Finally, the black-haired boy stands, laying his otouto in bed and pulling up the covers.
"You won't forget, will you, Yoshiko?"
"I would never forget you, Otouto. You're the only brother I have." He feels the corner of his mouth lift in a small smile and bends, kissing the boys cheek. "I love you, little brother," he whispers into his ear before straightening.
With one last look back, the black-haired boy creeps from the dark bedroom.
*****
The boy in Misato's arms suddenly went limp, falling forward against her. Carefully, she pushed him back a little, cradling him in her arms as if he were just a child. She could see tiny pools of liquid forming at the corners of his eyes and gently reached up, wiping one away.
It was blood.
Her mouth agape in horror, the woman watched as twin trails of blood coursed down Narikage's cheeks instead of the expected tears. Unable to move, she just stared at the red streaks, a slight shudder tearing through her.
At her shudder, Narikage's eyes flew open and the blood was gone, replaced by nothing more than tears. For a long moment, the two stared at each other, neither unable to fathom what was going on.
Then, with a choked sob, Narikage flung himself fully into Misato's arms, wrapping his own around her neck and burying his face in her shoulder as sobs racked his built frame. Forgetting about the tears of blood, she hugged him close and rocked him.
**Translator's note: for those who don't know, Otouto is Japanese for 'little brother'**