Naruto Primer Lost Chapter: All

Birthday Spars

When unmei0wa0fushigi requested this chapter, it was getting close to Sasuke's birthday. So he/she asked for a Sasuke's birthday chapter. This was kind of hard because we can't picture Sasuke inviting anyone to his birthday and therefore had to make it a SURPRISE. But then it was too much like IRUKA'S!! AHHH!! So we tried to make it different! OH WE TRIED!!

Sasuke awoke one July morning. He looked at the calendar to see that it was July 23rd. "Wow, it is officially my birthday." Said Sasuke. He stood there for a second and figured that now would be a good time for training.

So he put on his training clothes and went off to find his favorite training area. Neji's not the ONLY one with one of those things, you know!

Sasuke approached his favorite training area and looked around to see streamers, balloons, tables, food, a piñata and all sorts of other things there. All he could do at that point was stand and look confused until suddenly, all of his ninja friends leapt out from behind the trees and screamed, "SURPRISE!!!"

"What?" said Sasuke as Sakura ran up and put a party hat on his head.

"We figured you'd gone long enough without your birthday being celebrated!" said Sakura.

"So Sakura and I settled our differences, got together and threw you this huge party!" said Ino.

"Happy birthday, Sasuke!" said Kiba. "You know, my birthday was just a few weeks ago and I don't think ANYONE remembered!"

Akamaru barked at him.

"Well, I meant besides you." Said Kiba. "But you only remembered because it was your birthday too."

"And Neji's birthday was just before yours!" said Lee. "And I went over to Neji's house to wish him a happy birthday but I got turned away because apparently he was diagnosed with an extremely contagious and temporary terminal illness so I wasn't even allowed to go on the Hyuuga grounds!"

"You couldn't think of anything less extreme?" Tenten said to Neji but he only ignored her.

"Shikamaru's birthday is in less than two months, isn't that right Shikamaru?" said Chouji.

"I think we should stop talking about other people's birthday on Sasuke's birthday." Said Shikamaru.

"GOOD IDEA!" chimed everyone else.

"Our first activity is to break the piñata!" said Lee, pulling a baseball bat out from behind his back. "And I get to go first since I'm the oldest!"

"You're not the oldest, Lee." Said Neji.

"Besides, I think Sasuke should get to go first since it's his birthday!" said Ino, swiping the bat from Lee and handing it to Sasuke.

"…What?" said Sasuke who was still confused.

"We're celebrating your birthday!!" said Sakura.

"Why?" said Sasuke.

"I swear we went through this already." Said Shino.

"How about we open some presents so it can feel more like his birthday?" Hinata suggested.

"Great idea, Hinata!" said Kiba. "Guys, let's listen to Hinata!"

"Okay, Sasuke, open the present from ME first!" said Naruto handing Sasuke a poorly wrapped package.

Sasuke was still feeling a little weirded out that everyone was there in the first place so that's probably why he took the package from Naruto and opened it up only to find it completely empty!

"Okay…thanks for the…box…" Sasuke said finally.

"No, I'll tell you what your present is!" said Naruto. "It's a spar… with me!"

"Naruto, that is so lame!" said Sakura.

"You can't even leave Sasuke alone on his birthday!" said Ino.

"It's a birthday spar!" Naruto said defensively.

"The last thing Sasuke wants to do is fight you on his birthday." Ino said as if she was the official Sasuke spokesman.

"Sorry, Sasuke." Said Lee, bowing his head in shame. "I got you a spar with me for your birthday too."

"Um…so did I." Neji admitted.

"I did too." Said Shino.

"Did everyone get me a birthday spar?" Sasuke said, looking a little peeved.

"I got you a water gun!" said Kiba, ripping the wrapping off his present. Then he looked the unwrapped gift in marvel and suddenly remembered that Sasuke was the one who was supposed to unwrap it. "Oops. Sorry."

"Let's do something else!" Tenten suggested.

"How about the cake?" said Hinata.

"Yeah, good idea!" said Sakura as she gestured for everyone to run over to the table. As Ino lit the candles, Sakura handed out birthday hats. Eventually, everyone ended up wearing one. Kiba put one on Shino and Shino didn't care enough to take it off. The same thing went for Chouji to Shikamaru. As for Neji… well, I guess he didn't wear one.

What ensued was a very intense rendition of 'Happy Birthday' all for Sasuke as Ino slid the cake over in front of Sasuke. Sasuke made the same wish he always makes, to become strong enough to kill Itachi and avenge his clan, and then blew out the candles. Everyone cheered for him.

"Here, Sasuke, cut the cake!" said Sakura.

Sasuke cut the cake so there was still plenty leftover for him to bring home.

"Can I have seconds?" asked Chouji. "And thirds? And fourths?"

"I want to take this home for later." Said Sasuke, but it was okay for him to be selfish because it was his birthday.

"But I'm still hungry!" whined Chouji.

"Here, Chouji, have my piece." Said Shikamaru, handing Chouji his half eaten piece. Chouji inhaled it in about a second and also took all the girls' pieces since they were watching their figures.

After everyone finished their cake, they all sat around the table in silence.

"Now what?" asked Lee.

"Hey Sasuke, I think you should use my birthday present." Said Naruto.

"No, Naruto, I'm not going to spar with you." Said Sasuke. "Or anyone else, for that matter."

"What, are you afraid?!" said Naruto.

"No, I just don't feel like it on my birthday." Sasuke said.

"Yeah, so leave him alone!!" said Sakura.

"Guys, let's hit the piñata now!!" said Lee eagerly since he was the one who wanted to hit the piñata in the first place.

"Well… all right…" said everyone more or less.

"Sasuke goes first!" said Sakura.

Ino and Sakura led Sasuke over to where the piñata was hanging from a tree. Ino moved Sasuke's forehead protector down in front of his eyes so he couldn't see. Of course, Sasuke wasn't about to admit it but he had always wanted to hit a piñata and was just waiting for someone else to ask to hit it. Then Sakura spun Sasuke around in many many circles and finally let him go. Everyone enjoyed a good chuckle as Sasuke stumbled around foolishly and swung the stick around wildly.

"Hey Sasuke, the piñata is over there!" laughed Naruto when Sasuke had started coming towards him. Sasuke raised the stick and hit Naruto on the head. "Hey!! You hit me!!"

"I know." Said Sasuke.

"Over here!!" Sakura said, spinning Sasuke in the direction of the piñata. He walked forward and took a big swing. The piñata made sort of a hollow sound upon being hit and then, suddenly, its mouth opened and purple gas started shooting out of it.

"What…?" said everyone blankly as the purple smoke engulfed them. It didn't take them long to realize that it wasn't a good idea to let the purple smoke attack them like that so the girls grabbed Sasuke and they all quickly ran away and jumped into a tree where the smoke couldn't get them.

"Where did you get that piñata?!" Ino demanded of Sakura.

"Getting the piñata was Tenten's job!" said Sakura.

"I didn't know where to find a piñata so I asked Lee to do it!" said Tenten.

"How was I supposed to know where to find a piñata?" said Lee. "I asked Neji if he knew!"

"I knew there was a piñata at the academy." Neji said.

"Wait… you got the training piñata?" said Shikamaru.

"What's going on?" Sasuke said as he lifted his forehead protector off his eyes and back on his forehead.

"Neji got the piñata at the academy." Said Tenten.

"No I didn't." said Neji. "Lee asked me if I knew where to find a piñata. I didn't so I asked Hinata and she said there was one at the academy so I told Lee that there was one there."

"So LEE got the training piñata?!" demanded some enraged person.

"No!" said Lee. "That would be stealing! I asked Gai if it would be all right if we used the piñata at the academy for Sasuke's birthday!"

"So it was Gai?" said Shikamaru.

"No." said Lee. "I lost track of it after that."

"Well, all I know is that I brought it here because I got it from Naruto." Said Chouji.

"Kiba gave it to me!" said Naruto, pointing at Kiba.

"Only because Shino gave it to me!" Kiba said defensively.

"Gai gave the piñata to Kurenai who gave it to me." Shino answered. "I tried to give it to Shikamaru but he refused to take it. Kiba just so happened to be walking by so I gave it to him."

"Wait…so I've completely last track of whose fault it is." Said Ino looking confused.

"Wow, we certainly went through a lot of trouble to get a piñata." Observed Shikamaru. "I hope you appreciate it, Sasuke."

"It's hard to appreciate it when the piñata tried to kill me." Sasuke said, looking annoyed.

"I think the only way to solve this problem is a nice, friendly birthday spar to the DEATH!" said Naruto, pointing his finger up in the air.

"Say, what are all of you doing up in the tree like that?" came a voice from down below. Everyone was SO surprised that they fell out of the tree and landed on their bums. They looked up to see Iruka standing there. He looked at them questioningly, and then noticed the training piñata. "THERE it is! How did you get a hold of this and what happened?"

"Tenten asked Lee where to find a piñata, who asked Neji who asked Hinata who told Neji who told Lee that there was a piñata at the academy." Shikamaru began. "Lee asked Gai if it would be all right to use the piñata. Gai got the piñata and gave it to Kurenai who gave it to Shino who tried to give it to me but ended up giving it to Kiba who then gave it to Naruto who then gave it to Chouji who brought it here. None of us really knew that this was the training piñata so Sasuke hit it with a stick and then purple smoke came out."

Iruka only gaped.

"It was an accident." Shikamaru translated.

"Oh." Said Iruka cheerfully. "Well, I have to take it back now."

He took the piñata off the tree and carried it off contently.

"Well…" started Naruto.

"No, I will not spar with you." Said Sasuke.

"PLEASE?!" begged Naruto.

"NO." said Sasuke in that FINAL tone.

"How about me?" said Lee. "Will you spar with me?"

"No, I'm not going to spar with ANYONE on my birthday." Said Sasuke.

"Then I demand a spar with you first thing tomorrow morning!" said Lee.

"No." said Sasuke.

"WHY?!" cried Lee dramatically as he turned around to the closest person to him and buried his face in that person's shirt and cried. Then, after a moment of crying, he scrunched up some of the shirt and blew his nose loudly and unrealistically. When he was finally finished, he looked up to see that he had just violated Neji so. So Neji smacked Lee away and then gave him the Gentle Fist of his life that must have sent him half way across the world.

"I cannot even begin to speculate why he would do something like that." Said Neji, looking completely traumatized.

"Okay…" said Sakura slowly. "Now what?"

"Sorry, Sakura." Said Sasuke. "Your efforts were nice but I think this party is over."

"It wasn't ALL Sakura!!" said Ino angrily.

"The only reason I came was to get a birthday spar." Said Shino.

"Anyway, I always believed that birthdays are best spent with family." Sasuke said as he left. Then he came back, grabbed his new water gun, and THEN left.

"Yeah, he's right." Said Sakura with a sigh.

Everyone stood around.

"Hey…wait a second…"