A/N Thankyou to you all for reviews! As usual I looked and hard for a favourite and here it is, redlady27's review! "oh man, those cliff hangers are just evil. grins I do hope Annie and Lyddie are okay. Waiting with bated breath for the next chapter. :).
Angie"
October 1962 – February 1953
Pain in my head was the first thing to wake me up. I was flat on my back, I guessed from the cold, hard feel beneath me I was still lying in the road, and suddenly I heard a deep male voice.
"Ma'am, please don't move." However, upon regaining semi-consciousness movement had been my instinctive response and I tried to jerk my head up. It was then I became aware of the massive pain in my right side, stretching from my shoulder to my foot. There was also a sticky flow from my head as whatever had been applied to stop the blood had moved when I did, but was now being firmly reapplied.
"Ow, what happened?" I groaned, realising that my right eye wasn't going to open and the best I could make out with my left, already swollen and closed in the throes of a shiner, was a blurry person. Age, sex or race was indistinguishable though
"You stepped onto the road Ma'am. I wasn't able to stop I struck you with my car. Your daughter saw me and pulled you back, but it wasn't enough. Your head hit the windscreen and you have some very serious injuries."
"My daughter, Lyddie where is she?" I tried to sit up and look around for her. I could hear voices, and a child, Lydia I guessed crying. I tried to turn my head towards Lydia.
"Ma'am, you have been seriously injured, please don't move, an ambulance is on the way. Your daughter is fine. You have her to thank, if you hadn't moved when you did you would have died. She's with my wife, but I can have her come over."
"Yes, please!" I whispered. Lydia was by my side in a second.
"Are you okay Mummy?" Lydia asked quietly. I searched out the chubby hand with my left hand, my right wouldn't move, and felt reassured by the warmth.
"Mummy's fine Little One, don't you worry about it. I'm going to have to go to hospital for a bit but I'm okay."
"Are you hurt?" I lied then, through gritted teeth. "But blood." I think Lydia reached for the red trickle from my lip but was stopped by the woman.
"It's okay Lydia darling, I know I'm bleeding, but I'm still fine it doesn't hurt a bit" I fibbed some more as sirens came into hearing "Now listen, I want you to go with. . ." I motioned painfully towards the woman.
"She said call her Betsy" Lydia added. Betsy, whoever she was took my hand.
"I'll look after your daughter for you until the ambulance is here." She promised. I couldn't see or form an opinion of her, but right now, I knew I had to trust her and I thanked her.
"Go with Betsy and wait for the ambulance okay? Daddy's waiting at the hospital for us now." Hawkeye would be on duty there and could take Lydia into paediatrics and leave her with a nurse, as she was quite unharmed.
"Yes Mummy I love you" I managed to hug her and then blackness thankfully enveloped me, taking away my pain
"Annie, thank god you're awake." I stirred when I heard a voice, and searched for its source. My hand came to rest on a chest, which I found to be a man's, however deprived of my main sense for identifying people gone I had no idea who it was. The someone took my hand and conveyed it to the face. I recognised the slim nose and silky hair at once.
"Hawkeye?" I choked. "What happened?" Breathing hurt, and my voice was a short, wheezing gasp.
"Shh, you were hit by a car, and thrown up onto the bonnet, your head hit the windshield and then you went over the roof of the car and landed on the road." from the way he stroked my forehead; I could tell that the cut had been dressed and my eyes bandaged, taking away my sight. "How are you feeling?"
"Like a car hit me!" I groaned, there wasn't quite so much pain and I figured I'd been given morphine. "I broke my damn wrist again too!" There was a hint of a chuckle from my anxious husband. "When can I go home?"
"Listen, honey, I don't know how to say this but you're bleeding internally, you have several fractured ribs and most likely a punctured lung, I'm not allowed to open you up because you're my wife. There are no other doctors here at present. The only other cutter is up to his wrists in surgery already, and we can't get him out, swapping will kill the patient. Another surgeon has been called in, but the traffic's bad and he's taking his time. He had to come up from South Portland. If he doesn't make it here inside the half hour Anne, you're going to keep bleeding."
"They're just going to let me die?" I said, "I just have to lay here and die?"
"Honey, I am not allowed legally to operate on you, I can't help it." Hawkeye was struggling with tears.
"Hawkeye, I can't just die! I have the kids and everyone to think of, I can't let that happen."
"Baby you have to understand, unless there's someone who can operate on you, you're going to die." Hawkeye told me, hating the very words as he spoke.
"I am NOT just going to lay here and die!" I repeated firmly.
"Sit up then." Hawkeye muttered bitterly. Seeing my filthy look, he repented hastily, repeating his earlier statement about the lack of surgeons.
"Daniel?" I murmured tiredly.
"He's my father, your father-in-law, they won't let him do it." Hawkeye was crying now. I don't know how things were going in terms of injuries, but Hawkeye knew he was watching me die, and could do stuff all about it.
"There's no blood link." I complained. I'd only ever felt this way once before, when I had been shot, only this time it was worse. There was no pain, yet I'd never been so tired in my life.
"But there's a marriage link baby." Hawkeye said holding my hand to his lips, I could feel the tears on his cheeks and I tried to brush them away.
"Charles?" I said wearily, fighting the urge to sleep. "We have April, but he'll pretend he's never seen me before and he can be here in less than twenty minutes." Hawkeye whooped and kissed me, yelling something about how I'd saved my life, and left the room at a run.
"Mrs Pierce, please don't try to open your eyes, you have stitches nearby and they may tear." The voice of the nurse was the first thing I heard some time later. I found I could neither see nor talk, as a tube had been inserted to help me breathe. I guessed, correctly as I later found out, that this was because of a punctured lung I couldn't remember my talk with Hawkeye before I'd gone into surgery.
"Mrs Pierce, you are in the intensive care ward of Portland General Hospital. Several days ago you were in a car accident, and you suffered serious internal injuries, you were operated on, and you have been here for 21 days since. You will find that you are unable to see, as there was some serious damage to your right eye, so please do not panic as it should heal. Would you like your husband?" Something in my gesture told her yes and she left.
"Annie, my sweet, you're awake." I turned towards Hawkeye's voice. "Hey baby, I know you can't see, your left eye's too swollen to even try and your right eye is bandaged so I'm going to sit here, and hold your hand okay, so you know where I am." He did just that, taking my left hand in his. He was playing with my rings, giving me reassurance that I needed very much.
"Do you want to know everything?" I nodded, wanting to know how badly I had been hurt and when I could go home, Hawkeye took a deep breath and squeezed my hand.
"Fractured clavicle, humerus and radius on your right, mostly old Korea breaks there. Your wrist is fractured in four places, and your hand shattered, NYE of 52 all over again. Your left got away with just bruises. Every rib left and right is fractured, some in three or even four places, your right lung was punctured in five places, and on your left, a broken rib missed your heart by a fraction of an inch. Your right hip that took the impact has been pinned in two places, your knee has been reconstructed and your lower leg is lucky to be intact, it was a fight to keep it, it was shattered so badly. Beyond fractures you have, bruised and bleeding organs, and they had to bring in a neurosurgeon to stop the bleeding on your brain, you'd started a haemorrhage, and your optical nerve was damaged, when you get out of here, you'll need glasses. Your cheeks were very badly cut up too when you hit the road and the windscreen, and you might find you can't feel much. You've had in total over 60 hours of surgery. They're doing their best for you." I wanted to ask Hawkeye something I couldn't, but he knew anyway.
"Your back wasn't broken, you're very lucky, but with all the damage to your hip and right leg you'll be lucky if you walk again. You have been showing signs of movement, just toe wiggling, you're not capable of anything else yet. But you do seem to be showing good signs of nerve healing. You know something else Anne? We're bloody lucky you're still alive. You're pregnant." I tried to talk and wound up choking on my tube. It was a frightening second before I could breathe and Hawkeye continued.
"You're due in July, once they knew you were pregnant, they fought extra hard to keep you and the baby alive. It's going to be a long time, you'll probably spend most of the first trimester in here, but the baby is still alive, you never showed any signs of miscarriage, god only knows how you didn't. This baby is a miracle." I was getting tired, and so Hawkeye left, I went back to sleep.
I didn't take to the treatments as well as they'd hoped however and I developed an infection in one or two of my many scars, and a painful, bleary time followed, about as clear and memorable as the time I'd developed an infection in the bullet wound back in Korea.
"Babes, thank god you're awake, I need you to stay with me here, this is important." Hawkeye jumped as soon as my eyes opened. I was still feverish and in a lot of pain.
"Listen, honey, I don't want to say this, but if I don't ask you I'll regret it forever. Your body is working very hard to keep your baby alive. Too hard, you're not recovering as well as you should, and you went into cardiac arrest a week ago. We've been given a choice seeing as you seem to be on the mend from the post-operative infection you had, they can perform a hysterectomy and thus abort the pregnancy, ensuring your survival, or you can keep the baby and risk your and the baby's lives." He handed me a pen and paper, as I was yet unable to talk.
"NO! They are not going to take away my baby. I've already lost Adam and the baby in Korea, I'm not going to give up on a third child. I don't care if they think it will help me recover faster, if the baby has survived this much he deserves this chance at life, don't take it away. I'll risk it." I scribbled furiously, my curled script filling the page quickly. It was illegible, as I was still blind, but Hawkeye read it, saw the word NO, amongst the scribble, and nodded.
"Okay honey, be it on your own head. If you hadn't woken, I would have told them to operate, but you do
understand if you take a turn for the worse, they will operate again." I saw the logic in that and with a renewed reason to live, I fell asleep quickly.
I got a little better more rapidly after that, and the doctors agreed that my miracle baby and I had a better chance of survival, and full recovery. There were no guarantees that the baby would live to term, or should he be born alive, that he would be completely healthy, but I was prepared for anything.
It was stretching to be six weeks in the ICU, and it was now into December. I hadn't seen the kids since I last saw Lydia, and I was fretting for them, as I lay, unable to see, move and speak. I hated the helplessness that came with the injuries, and just plain wanted out. However until my lungs were strong enough to breathe, I wasn't even allowed to be wheeled places. It was tiring, and I decided I much preferred hospitals as a nurse, not as a patient.
"This one's from Alice and Roger, she says that the baby is doing very well now. Card, letters and gifts had quickly arrived as I wasn't allowed any more visitors apart from Hawkeye and Margaret. Even Frank Burns had sent me flowers every week that I had been in and six bunches of flowers had arrived from Ft Wayne. I was very touched by all the concern, but hated it, because I couldn't thank anyone for the kindness.
"How are the kids?" It was a week later, almost Christmas and my tube had come out I could talk now, but they weren't going to move me out of intensive care. I didn't like this, but because I was pregnant, despite appearing very healthy, they weren't taking me out of a place where I'd be under constant supervision. Movement was returning to me slowly, however I was confined to flat on my back with the physiotherapist manipulating my joints. My arm and shoulder were healing and had recently been freed from the plaster.
"So-so, Danny sleeps in our bed for comfort. Ben's okay, cares for April, who's a wreck, Jess is sleeping with Dad every night, and doesn't want to go to school, Felicity's a battler, just like her mother, holding us all together I should think, she looks after Lydia, who's good, but won't travel in cars unless Lyssa's there. Margaret wanted to visit at Christmas, but she's only going to worry about you, so I told her we'd be fine. Besides Stevie's got her hands full without Margaret bringing the girls as well, I think. I haven't told anybody about the baby." All of my friends from Korea knew I had been hurt and flowers and gifts had arrived, along with offers, politely declined, for help and the knowledge I was pregnant would just cause more concern.
"That's good, I don't want them to worry anymore than they already will be." I was still unable to see out of my right eye, but the swelling in my left had gone down and I could see Hawkeye as a blurry dark-haired object, as opposed to Mum, a light-haired blob, my only other permitted visitor.
"You're so tough my girl." He murmured, kissing me gently "You're famous all over the hospital, you and the miracle baby. They've even talked about moving you into casualty soon."
"Great, can I see the kids yet?" That was my main concern.
"Well, maybe, if you're well enough to be in casualty we'll see what we can do. You are aware that it's not really allowed as they're all over a year and under 12."
"Do your best." I smiled, stretching my recently repaired right hand a little. It had recovered pretty well and it seemed with practise, I would still be able to play the piano and have full use of my hand.
"I have to go, I hate to leave, but Stevie's alone with the six of them." Hawkeye said.
"It's her job baby." I sighed, "Okay darling. I love you." It felt so good to be able to say that again and I settled down feeling better than I had in a while. Sleep didn't come easily though as my hip was quite painful and it wasn't until the doctor gave me something for the pain that I slept.
Three long weeks later and I was moved into casualty, still pregnant, still mostly blind, and still immobile. I still was not allowed to have any of the kids in either and that got me pretty upset, so I spent a large portion of the time between physiotherapy sessions sedated.
"Come on Mrs Pierce, don't you give up now!" My right leg wobbled and I clutched at Hawkeye for support. It felt like an eternity, but after slow painful lessons, I was beginning to walk and use my arms again.
"Come on baby you can do it, the sooner you start walking, the sooner you can go home my girl." Hawkeye said.
"It hurts." I whinged through gritted teeth, tears forming in my eyes. "It really hurts."
"Anne darling, I know it hurts, but you've got to do it. I believe in you, you can do it." Hawkeye said, holding onto my hand as I fought to stay vertical. I managed a sort of shuffle forwards, hardly moving my leg and not lifting it off the ground.
"Mrs Pierce, as soon as you learn to bend that knee, you're halfway there" The physio encouraged. Learning to walk again was a slow and painful process, as I had to learn to use my reconstructed hip and knee.
"It hurts, so much." I gasped, bending my knee up and lifting my foot, slowly I took a painful step.
"It'll get better with practise darling, three more steps and you can sit down." Hawkeye was in front of me, walking backwards as I struggled along, tears sliding down my cheeks.
"I can, I'm going to." I muttered through clenched teeth, continuing the walk. I collapsed forward onto Hawkeye, and he and the physio helped me into a wheel chair. Once I was sitting, things were less painful. I wheeled myself over to the table and Hawkeye lifted me up. Thankfully I was told the session would end with a massage.
I was back the next day, however, as I had daily appointments, trying to learn to walk again, and it had been another struggle to take even five little steps from Hawkeye's arms to the wheelchair
"Mrs Pierce, you've got to work with this knee." I winced as he lifted my leg, flexing my hip and knee. "The sooner you get it working, the sooner it's going to stop hurting, can you bend your knee right up so your calf touches your thigh?"
"Yeah." I muttered, obeying. "And call me Annie."
"Okay then Annie, last thing for today, then you can go. Try and put your foot flat on the other side of your left leg. This means twisting your hip so your leg passes across the front of your body." I managed to do that, crossing my leg over.
"That doesn't hurt so much." I said softly, smiling. It was progress, even if only a tiny amount.
"You're doing better than I expected, so we'll try something new. See if you can sit up. Mr Pierce, you'll have to help her here." Soon I was sitting up, my nose brushing my knee.
"Annie, you're doing so good, you know what, I think I'll con Matron into letting the kids come in tomorrow!"
"Thanks Hawkeye." I smiled. I knew he wouldn't Matron wouldn't let the kids in no matter what.
"Okay Annie, lay back down, move your leg back over and straighten it out." I obeyed. "Can you get yourself off the table?" That was a bit much and the men lifted me into the wheelchair.
It was another long session a few weeks later and I had been up and about for most of it, staggering around on a frame or with help from the physio or Hawkeye and I was exhausted and in pain as I sat in the wheelchair.
"Hawkeye I can go back to my room, you go home to the kids. They need you more than I do." Christmas had come and gone, it was nearly February, but at Christmas I'd taken a turn for the worse, hurting my hip very badly and had not been able to see the kids, though I was to have been allowed downstairs on Christmas Day.
"Annie," Hawkeye protested. He never liked leaving me.
"Go, it's bad enough that Mummy's away for so long, nearly three whole months, but it's worse if Daddy's gone too" I said stubbornly, pushing with my arms to get my chair moving. My right arm was benefiting immensely from pushing the chair myself and the nurses were now under orders to let me do that alone wherever I was going.
"Mr Pierce, please your wife has a point." The physio put in quietly.
"Annie, I hate to leave you when you're in pain."
"The sooner I get up to my room," I said, pushing the button on the elevator to get up to my floor. "The sooner I get painkillers and the sooner I will be fine!" The elevator door opened and I pushed myself in.
"I'll just come up to the room with you okay?" Hawkeye insisted.
"Then you're going straight back okay?" I said bordering asking with demanding.
"Alright." Hawkeye finally agreed and he kept his word, leaving once I was back in casualty.
By the time it was late February, I had been in hospital for almost four months, and I was on the mend. I was still pregnant, and even showing, with the baby, so far as we could see, still wonderfully healthy. Walking was now my major struggle and they weren't going to let me leave until I could walk across a room and back alone.
"Annie, all you have to do is show us that you can walk properly, without help, and obvious pain and you're free."
"Well, I can do it." I slid off the table and stood straight. My legs were regaining strength and I could now support my own weight alone. My arms were also better, and I knew would be fine after a few weeks back home, lifting weights in the form of the kids.
"Remember, across the room and back, that's all I'm asking of you." I was reminded as I began walking, I turned when I reached the wall and then made my way back. Although my hips were still stiff and ached slightly, it wasn't so bad.
"I did it!" I had made it back to the other side of the room, and I sat down wearily. I was still tired out easily by any activity, and I was wondering how I'd take the exertion of motherhood after four months away.
"You did do it!" Mindful of my still sore ribs, Hawkeye gave me a huge hug. The last stitches and tubes had finally been removed and my body was my own again. Hawkeye was also waiting for my recovery as he'd missed a lot more than just my presence around the house.
"Mr Pierce, you'd better tell your younger children to stop sleeping in Mummy's spot, because as of tomorrow night, she's going to be needing it!"
"Thankyou!" I realised I was crying but, I hadn't felt it There was little feeling in my cheeks, and it wasn't until I tasted the salt that I realised I was crying. My sense of taste was a little dulled too, but was returning in time.
"Ow!" I had gone to wipe my eyes but had smacked into my glasses. I removed the glasses and wiped the tears from my eyes, being careful, as I couldn't see what I was doing anymore. It was going to be hard recovering properly from the operations and crash. My ribs and hip were going to be painful for a very long time, my sight would never be the same again and the feeling in my face was a matter of time as to whether it returned at all.
"Careful honey," Hawkeye said, kissing the side of my head. My hair had been cut too, to allow for the surgery and I now had a very short bob of tight ringlets. It was kind of cute, but I missed my locks.
"I'm starving, and hospital food isn't much, but I want lunch. Now you go home and let the kids know I'm coming home okay?" Hawkeye left without protest this time as I'd be home the next day.
"Great, stairs" I looked up as Daniel took my hand and helped me out of the car. Stairs were still an incredibly painful feat for me and I'd forgotten exactly how many stairs there were in my house.
"We'll help you bubs, don't worry." Hawkeye had my other hand, walking me towards them, and then slowly and painfully up and into the front hall. There wasn't a child to be seen, as they were all at school, except for Danny whom Stevie had taken out for the day so I could get settled in bed.
It felt so good to be settled into my own bed again. I had moved over to Hawkeye's side, so that my right side, the worse injured of the two was on the outside, and so that when Hawkeye slept beside me there was les risk of accidentally hurting me.
"Hawkeye I'm so happy to be home." I grinned once I was comfortable. I was in a semi-sitting position, the baby bulge just visible beneath the blankets.
"Listen you go to sleep. We'll wake you when the kids get back." Daniel was sitting on the end of the bed, rubbing one of my feet. Hawkeye had closed the clinic for a day to get me home in one piece. No one in the Cove minded though, they understood.
"Okay Dad."
"Dad, can you take care of things for a while? I want to just lie here with Annie for a while okay?"
"Sure have fun kids, and not that much fun either." Daniel left agreeably.
"Dad, you think too much." I laughed while Hawkeye settled on the pillow beside me.
"It's all well and good to have little Danny by my side, but I did miss having you." He put his arm around me.
"I missed having you." I agreed, lifting his hand from where it rested on my neck and kissed it. "I can't believe I'm finally home. I'm so glad. And I really can't believe I'm pregnant!"
"Do you think the troops will mind?" Hawkeye asked, he hadn't told them either, in case I lost the baby.
"Not really. Felicity will always welcome a new arrival. If it's a boy Ben won't care, Danny will love to not be the baby anymore, Lydia and Jess should be fine, and April, well, it shouldn't worry her."
"You're right. Let's go to sleep for a bit, there's only an hour until Lydia gets home from kinder okay? Means Stevie's bringing our Mate back too."
"Okay." I agreed and settled down for the first sleep with my husband in a long time that I had missed very much.
"Annie, Hawkeye, wake up." It was Dad. "There are six children dying to see their mother here, I couldn't bear to wake you when Danny and Lydia got home, but now they're all back and they've waited an hour already."
"Thanks Dad." I smiled, "I know they're desperate to see me, but I want to see them one at a time, even the twins."
"You want to make them feel individual and special huh?" Dad smiled and I nodded.
"We'll start with April okay?" Dad said, "Then Jess and move through like that, the ones who were most upset first and then Lyss, who was the most okay with it all, last."
"Yep Hawkeye shift yourself, April needs that spot." Grumbling with love, Hawkeye moved.
"Mummy!" April ran into the room, and stopped at the sight of me in bed.
"April! Honey come here!" Hawkeye lifted the 7yo girl onto the bed and I embraced her, trying not to make a noise when I accidentally stretched still-sore muscles. "Oh my Angel-face I missed you so much, you've gotten so big, and oh my gosh, you're missing more teeth! My little girl, how have you been?"
"I missed you too, I was scared when Daddy had to go make you better. I thought you would die. I didn't want you to die, but I'm so happy you're home." April held me while I rubbed her back. Although Lydia had seen me be hit by the car, April took it harder than her baby sister. I guessed it was her already broken family that made those feelings arise in her, either that or the fact that her Daddy was responsible for her Mummy's life.
"But it's okay now Angel I'm just fine, I'm a little bit tired, but it's all going to be okay. You don't need to be scared anymore. I'm not going to die my girl." I cuddled her for a little longer and then said although I wanted to have her stay a little more I had to say hello to everyone. April understood and Danny was brought in.
"Mummy! Are you okay?" His indigo eyes were wide. "Daddy and Uncle Charles said that you was been hitted by a car and you was hurt! But it's okay Mummy, I sleeped in your bed every single night to make sure you'd come back, I just knowed it was going to make you come back and it did!"
"Really! You knew that? Wow, my little Mate, you are so clever! You just know everything don't you? I'm so proud of you my boy!" I buried my face in the sweetly chubby neck. I'd missed all my kids but for some reason my youngest son was the one I'd missed most.
"Yes I did and I was right!" Danny finished proudly. It was Jess's turn after a final cuddle, and nervously my daughter came into the room, scared of what she might find.
"Baby, my precious one, come here, darling don't be scared, I'm okay, really." It took a couple minutes of gentle coaxing, from myself, and then Daniel, before she came and sat on the bed beside me.
"Are you okay Mummy?" Jess asked, her green eyes scared for me.
"Quite baby." I assured her. "There's no need to be scared, I'm home now. I know I was away for a long time, but I'm not going away from you again."
"I thought that you would do what Daddy's Mummy did to him, never come back." Jess knew that she'd been named after Daniel's first wife, Hawkeye's mother and that Katharine had died while Hawkeye was just a boy.
"I am doing everything in my power to make sure I never do that pretty girl." I assured her.
"I don't want daddy to be alone again." Jess said.
"Neither do I." I shared a glance with Hawkeye.
"Listen my darling, I think it's about time Lydia got a chance to see me. So give me another hug and a kiss and tell Grandpa to send in Lydia in a few minutes, I need to talk to Daddy first.." Jess obliged the kiss and cuddle warmly.
"I love you so much Mummy, it is the best feeling to hug you." Jess informed me seriously as she left. Daniel popped in to confirm the five- minute wait before Lydia came in and I turned to Hawkeye.
"Honey, what Jess said then, were you really worried about me following Katharine's footsteps?" I asked as Hawkeye sat down on the bed.
"It happens, Dad mightn't have said, but his mom died when he was 13, and grandpa's mother died giving birth. It's a Pierce trait, our wives die." Hawkeye was plainly scared at that thought.
"Darling, I didn't die though did I? I think I'm going to break that tradition." I smiled, pushing my glasses onto my nose. Hawkeye bent down and kissed me.
"Just keep breaking that tradition okay?" He whispered. Lydia came in a few minutes later, a little nervous, but quite alright otherwise.
"Mummy, I saw the car, I'm sorry I didn't make you move." She whispered, cuddling against me.
"Oh, my darling, you did make me move. Don't you see Little One, that if you didn't pull when you did I would have died? You did just fine. And you were so brave." I kissed her dark little head. I loved my daughter a lot, and I didn't want her to feel bad about my accident.
"Can you get up yet mummy?" Lydia asked.
"Not right now pet, maybe tomorrow though. I'm very tired dearest."
"Well Mummy, when you do, I want to be there and hold your hand." Lydia said.
"Thankyou my beautiful Lydia. But you've got to go, it's Ben's turn now." She kissed me and left. Ben climbed up onto the bed and gave me a kiss.
"I missed you Mum, are you better?"
"Nearly," I wrapped my arms around him, he was studying me intently, for signs of obvious scars. Fascinated by medicine, he loved inspecting cuts and grazes.
"I'll show you my operation scars tomorrow Sport." I had a few beauties on my side, under my hairline, near my shoulder, and my knee.
"You will? Thankyou Mum!" Ben kissed me. "You know I was worried about you, but Ma said you weren't going to die so I knew you wouldn't."
"Well, she was right wasn't she?" I began to tickle Ben behind his knees, and he fought me off laughing, he'd inherited Hawkeye's main ticklish spot. Felicity came in a few minutes later and my pretty eldest daughter sat beside me quietly, just happy to be with me again.
"I missed you, but I knew you'd be okay. I'm just happy to be able to have you hold me again."
"I'm happy to have you in my arms Princess." She lay snuggled against me for a little, and then sat up suddenly. I had felt it too, the baby had moved for the first time. It was barely definable, but at the same time obvious.
"Mummy, are you having another baby?" I shared a glance with Hawkeye I wasn't going to lie to her.
"Yes my darling, but don't tell your brothers or sisters. No one else knows yet, it can be our little secret."
"Just you me and Daddy?" Felicity asked.
"Just you, me, Daddy, Grandpa, Ma, Grandmamma and Patrick." I added.
"Okay then, I won't tell anyone else, I promise." Felicity smiled.
"You are such a good girl darling. Did anyone ever tell you that?" I kissed her beautiful face.
"You just did." Hawkeye chimed in, joining us on the bed. The three of us cuddled for a little longer, and then the other kids joined us one-by-one, surprising me pleasantly. I shifted into the middle of the bed so they could climb in both sides and Hawkeye strategically and protectively lay on my right side, barely touching me but preventing anyone else from hurting me.
Happy, safe and home again, I fell asleep quickly. My recovery had been long, slow and painful, and there seemed little to stop it being that way as I continued to recover, but it didn't matter, I had my family and that was what counted to me.
Angie"
October 1962 – February 1953
Pain in my head was the first thing to wake me up. I was flat on my back, I guessed from the cold, hard feel beneath me I was still lying in the road, and suddenly I heard a deep male voice.
"Ma'am, please don't move." However, upon regaining semi-consciousness movement had been my instinctive response and I tried to jerk my head up. It was then I became aware of the massive pain in my right side, stretching from my shoulder to my foot. There was also a sticky flow from my head as whatever had been applied to stop the blood had moved when I did, but was now being firmly reapplied.
"Ow, what happened?" I groaned, realising that my right eye wasn't going to open and the best I could make out with my left, already swollen and closed in the throes of a shiner, was a blurry person. Age, sex or race was indistinguishable though
"You stepped onto the road Ma'am. I wasn't able to stop I struck you with my car. Your daughter saw me and pulled you back, but it wasn't enough. Your head hit the windscreen and you have some very serious injuries."
"My daughter, Lyddie where is she?" I tried to sit up and look around for her. I could hear voices, and a child, Lydia I guessed crying. I tried to turn my head towards Lydia.
"Ma'am, you have been seriously injured, please don't move, an ambulance is on the way. Your daughter is fine. You have her to thank, if you hadn't moved when you did you would have died. She's with my wife, but I can have her come over."
"Yes, please!" I whispered. Lydia was by my side in a second.
"Are you okay Mummy?" Lydia asked quietly. I searched out the chubby hand with my left hand, my right wouldn't move, and felt reassured by the warmth.
"Mummy's fine Little One, don't you worry about it. I'm going to have to go to hospital for a bit but I'm okay."
"Are you hurt?" I lied then, through gritted teeth. "But blood." I think Lydia reached for the red trickle from my lip but was stopped by the woman.
"It's okay Lydia darling, I know I'm bleeding, but I'm still fine it doesn't hurt a bit" I fibbed some more as sirens came into hearing "Now listen, I want you to go with. . ." I motioned painfully towards the woman.
"She said call her Betsy" Lydia added. Betsy, whoever she was took my hand.
"I'll look after your daughter for you until the ambulance is here." She promised. I couldn't see or form an opinion of her, but right now, I knew I had to trust her and I thanked her.
"Go with Betsy and wait for the ambulance okay? Daddy's waiting at the hospital for us now." Hawkeye would be on duty there and could take Lydia into paediatrics and leave her with a nurse, as she was quite unharmed.
"Yes Mummy I love you" I managed to hug her and then blackness thankfully enveloped me, taking away my pain
"Annie, thank god you're awake." I stirred when I heard a voice, and searched for its source. My hand came to rest on a chest, which I found to be a man's, however deprived of my main sense for identifying people gone I had no idea who it was. The someone took my hand and conveyed it to the face. I recognised the slim nose and silky hair at once.
"Hawkeye?" I choked. "What happened?" Breathing hurt, and my voice was a short, wheezing gasp.
"Shh, you were hit by a car, and thrown up onto the bonnet, your head hit the windshield and then you went over the roof of the car and landed on the road." from the way he stroked my forehead; I could tell that the cut had been dressed and my eyes bandaged, taking away my sight. "How are you feeling?"
"Like a car hit me!" I groaned, there wasn't quite so much pain and I figured I'd been given morphine. "I broke my damn wrist again too!" There was a hint of a chuckle from my anxious husband. "When can I go home?"
"Listen, honey, I don't know how to say this but you're bleeding internally, you have several fractured ribs and most likely a punctured lung, I'm not allowed to open you up because you're my wife. There are no other doctors here at present. The only other cutter is up to his wrists in surgery already, and we can't get him out, swapping will kill the patient. Another surgeon has been called in, but the traffic's bad and he's taking his time. He had to come up from South Portland. If he doesn't make it here inside the half hour Anne, you're going to keep bleeding."
"They're just going to let me die?" I said, "I just have to lay here and die?"
"Honey, I am not allowed legally to operate on you, I can't help it." Hawkeye was struggling with tears.
"Hawkeye, I can't just die! I have the kids and everyone to think of, I can't let that happen."
"Baby you have to understand, unless there's someone who can operate on you, you're going to die." Hawkeye told me, hating the very words as he spoke.
"I am NOT just going to lay here and die!" I repeated firmly.
"Sit up then." Hawkeye muttered bitterly. Seeing my filthy look, he repented hastily, repeating his earlier statement about the lack of surgeons.
"Daniel?" I murmured tiredly.
"He's my father, your father-in-law, they won't let him do it." Hawkeye was crying now. I don't know how things were going in terms of injuries, but Hawkeye knew he was watching me die, and could do stuff all about it.
"There's no blood link." I complained. I'd only ever felt this way once before, when I had been shot, only this time it was worse. There was no pain, yet I'd never been so tired in my life.
"But there's a marriage link baby." Hawkeye said holding my hand to his lips, I could feel the tears on his cheeks and I tried to brush them away.
"Charles?" I said wearily, fighting the urge to sleep. "We have April, but he'll pretend he's never seen me before and he can be here in less than twenty minutes." Hawkeye whooped and kissed me, yelling something about how I'd saved my life, and left the room at a run.
"Mrs Pierce, please don't try to open your eyes, you have stitches nearby and they may tear." The voice of the nurse was the first thing I heard some time later. I found I could neither see nor talk, as a tube had been inserted to help me breathe. I guessed, correctly as I later found out, that this was because of a punctured lung I couldn't remember my talk with Hawkeye before I'd gone into surgery.
"Mrs Pierce, you are in the intensive care ward of Portland General Hospital. Several days ago you were in a car accident, and you suffered serious internal injuries, you were operated on, and you have been here for 21 days since. You will find that you are unable to see, as there was some serious damage to your right eye, so please do not panic as it should heal. Would you like your husband?" Something in my gesture told her yes and she left.
"Annie, my sweet, you're awake." I turned towards Hawkeye's voice. "Hey baby, I know you can't see, your left eye's too swollen to even try and your right eye is bandaged so I'm going to sit here, and hold your hand okay, so you know where I am." He did just that, taking my left hand in his. He was playing with my rings, giving me reassurance that I needed very much.
"Do you want to know everything?" I nodded, wanting to know how badly I had been hurt and when I could go home, Hawkeye took a deep breath and squeezed my hand.
"Fractured clavicle, humerus and radius on your right, mostly old Korea breaks there. Your wrist is fractured in four places, and your hand shattered, NYE of 52 all over again. Your left got away with just bruises. Every rib left and right is fractured, some in three or even four places, your right lung was punctured in five places, and on your left, a broken rib missed your heart by a fraction of an inch. Your right hip that took the impact has been pinned in two places, your knee has been reconstructed and your lower leg is lucky to be intact, it was a fight to keep it, it was shattered so badly. Beyond fractures you have, bruised and bleeding organs, and they had to bring in a neurosurgeon to stop the bleeding on your brain, you'd started a haemorrhage, and your optical nerve was damaged, when you get out of here, you'll need glasses. Your cheeks were very badly cut up too when you hit the road and the windscreen, and you might find you can't feel much. You've had in total over 60 hours of surgery. They're doing their best for you." I wanted to ask Hawkeye something I couldn't, but he knew anyway.
"Your back wasn't broken, you're very lucky, but with all the damage to your hip and right leg you'll be lucky if you walk again. You have been showing signs of movement, just toe wiggling, you're not capable of anything else yet. But you do seem to be showing good signs of nerve healing. You know something else Anne? We're bloody lucky you're still alive. You're pregnant." I tried to talk and wound up choking on my tube. It was a frightening second before I could breathe and Hawkeye continued.
"You're due in July, once they knew you were pregnant, they fought extra hard to keep you and the baby alive. It's going to be a long time, you'll probably spend most of the first trimester in here, but the baby is still alive, you never showed any signs of miscarriage, god only knows how you didn't. This baby is a miracle." I was getting tired, and so Hawkeye left, I went back to sleep.
I didn't take to the treatments as well as they'd hoped however and I developed an infection in one or two of my many scars, and a painful, bleary time followed, about as clear and memorable as the time I'd developed an infection in the bullet wound back in Korea.
"Babes, thank god you're awake, I need you to stay with me here, this is important." Hawkeye jumped as soon as my eyes opened. I was still feverish and in a lot of pain.
"Listen, honey, I don't want to say this, but if I don't ask you I'll regret it forever. Your body is working very hard to keep your baby alive. Too hard, you're not recovering as well as you should, and you went into cardiac arrest a week ago. We've been given a choice seeing as you seem to be on the mend from the post-operative infection you had, they can perform a hysterectomy and thus abort the pregnancy, ensuring your survival, or you can keep the baby and risk your and the baby's lives." He handed me a pen and paper, as I was yet unable to talk.
"NO! They are not going to take away my baby. I've already lost Adam and the baby in Korea, I'm not going to give up on a third child. I don't care if they think it will help me recover faster, if the baby has survived this much he deserves this chance at life, don't take it away. I'll risk it." I scribbled furiously, my curled script filling the page quickly. It was illegible, as I was still blind, but Hawkeye read it, saw the word NO, amongst the scribble, and nodded.
"Okay honey, be it on your own head. If you hadn't woken, I would have told them to operate, but you do
understand if you take a turn for the worse, they will operate again." I saw the logic in that and with a renewed reason to live, I fell asleep quickly.
I got a little better more rapidly after that, and the doctors agreed that my miracle baby and I had a better chance of survival, and full recovery. There were no guarantees that the baby would live to term, or should he be born alive, that he would be completely healthy, but I was prepared for anything.
It was stretching to be six weeks in the ICU, and it was now into December. I hadn't seen the kids since I last saw Lydia, and I was fretting for them, as I lay, unable to see, move and speak. I hated the helplessness that came with the injuries, and just plain wanted out. However until my lungs were strong enough to breathe, I wasn't even allowed to be wheeled places. It was tiring, and I decided I much preferred hospitals as a nurse, not as a patient.
"This one's from Alice and Roger, she says that the baby is doing very well now. Card, letters and gifts had quickly arrived as I wasn't allowed any more visitors apart from Hawkeye and Margaret. Even Frank Burns had sent me flowers every week that I had been in and six bunches of flowers had arrived from Ft Wayne. I was very touched by all the concern, but hated it, because I couldn't thank anyone for the kindness.
"How are the kids?" It was a week later, almost Christmas and my tube had come out I could talk now, but they weren't going to move me out of intensive care. I didn't like this, but because I was pregnant, despite appearing very healthy, they weren't taking me out of a place where I'd be under constant supervision. Movement was returning to me slowly, however I was confined to flat on my back with the physiotherapist manipulating my joints. My arm and shoulder were healing and had recently been freed from the plaster.
"So-so, Danny sleeps in our bed for comfort. Ben's okay, cares for April, who's a wreck, Jess is sleeping with Dad every night, and doesn't want to go to school, Felicity's a battler, just like her mother, holding us all together I should think, she looks after Lydia, who's good, but won't travel in cars unless Lyssa's there. Margaret wanted to visit at Christmas, but she's only going to worry about you, so I told her we'd be fine. Besides Stevie's got her hands full without Margaret bringing the girls as well, I think. I haven't told anybody about the baby." All of my friends from Korea knew I had been hurt and flowers and gifts had arrived, along with offers, politely declined, for help and the knowledge I was pregnant would just cause more concern.
"That's good, I don't want them to worry anymore than they already will be." I was still unable to see out of my right eye, but the swelling in my left had gone down and I could see Hawkeye as a blurry dark-haired object, as opposed to Mum, a light-haired blob, my only other permitted visitor.
"You're so tough my girl." He murmured, kissing me gently "You're famous all over the hospital, you and the miracle baby. They've even talked about moving you into casualty soon."
"Great, can I see the kids yet?" That was my main concern.
"Well, maybe, if you're well enough to be in casualty we'll see what we can do. You are aware that it's not really allowed as they're all over a year and under 12."
"Do your best." I smiled, stretching my recently repaired right hand a little. It had recovered pretty well and it seemed with practise, I would still be able to play the piano and have full use of my hand.
"I have to go, I hate to leave, but Stevie's alone with the six of them." Hawkeye said.
"It's her job baby." I sighed, "Okay darling. I love you." It felt so good to be able to say that again and I settled down feeling better than I had in a while. Sleep didn't come easily though as my hip was quite painful and it wasn't until the doctor gave me something for the pain that I slept.
Three long weeks later and I was moved into casualty, still pregnant, still mostly blind, and still immobile. I still was not allowed to have any of the kids in either and that got me pretty upset, so I spent a large portion of the time between physiotherapy sessions sedated.
"Come on Mrs Pierce, don't you give up now!" My right leg wobbled and I clutched at Hawkeye for support. It felt like an eternity, but after slow painful lessons, I was beginning to walk and use my arms again.
"Come on baby you can do it, the sooner you start walking, the sooner you can go home my girl." Hawkeye said.
"It hurts." I whinged through gritted teeth, tears forming in my eyes. "It really hurts."
"Anne darling, I know it hurts, but you've got to do it. I believe in you, you can do it." Hawkeye said, holding onto my hand as I fought to stay vertical. I managed a sort of shuffle forwards, hardly moving my leg and not lifting it off the ground.
"Mrs Pierce, as soon as you learn to bend that knee, you're halfway there" The physio encouraged. Learning to walk again was a slow and painful process, as I had to learn to use my reconstructed hip and knee.
"It hurts, so much." I gasped, bending my knee up and lifting my foot, slowly I took a painful step.
"It'll get better with practise darling, three more steps and you can sit down." Hawkeye was in front of me, walking backwards as I struggled along, tears sliding down my cheeks.
"I can, I'm going to." I muttered through clenched teeth, continuing the walk. I collapsed forward onto Hawkeye, and he and the physio helped me into a wheel chair. Once I was sitting, things were less painful. I wheeled myself over to the table and Hawkeye lifted me up. Thankfully I was told the session would end with a massage.
I was back the next day, however, as I had daily appointments, trying to learn to walk again, and it had been another struggle to take even five little steps from Hawkeye's arms to the wheelchair
"Mrs Pierce, you've got to work with this knee." I winced as he lifted my leg, flexing my hip and knee. "The sooner you get it working, the sooner it's going to stop hurting, can you bend your knee right up so your calf touches your thigh?"
"Yeah." I muttered, obeying. "And call me Annie."
"Okay then Annie, last thing for today, then you can go. Try and put your foot flat on the other side of your left leg. This means twisting your hip so your leg passes across the front of your body." I managed to do that, crossing my leg over.
"That doesn't hurt so much." I said softly, smiling. It was progress, even if only a tiny amount.
"You're doing better than I expected, so we'll try something new. See if you can sit up. Mr Pierce, you'll have to help her here." Soon I was sitting up, my nose brushing my knee.
"Annie, you're doing so good, you know what, I think I'll con Matron into letting the kids come in tomorrow!"
"Thanks Hawkeye." I smiled. I knew he wouldn't Matron wouldn't let the kids in no matter what.
"Okay Annie, lay back down, move your leg back over and straighten it out." I obeyed. "Can you get yourself off the table?" That was a bit much and the men lifted me into the wheelchair.
It was another long session a few weeks later and I had been up and about for most of it, staggering around on a frame or with help from the physio or Hawkeye and I was exhausted and in pain as I sat in the wheelchair.
"Hawkeye I can go back to my room, you go home to the kids. They need you more than I do." Christmas had come and gone, it was nearly February, but at Christmas I'd taken a turn for the worse, hurting my hip very badly and had not been able to see the kids, though I was to have been allowed downstairs on Christmas Day.
"Annie," Hawkeye protested. He never liked leaving me.
"Go, it's bad enough that Mummy's away for so long, nearly three whole months, but it's worse if Daddy's gone too" I said stubbornly, pushing with my arms to get my chair moving. My right arm was benefiting immensely from pushing the chair myself and the nurses were now under orders to let me do that alone wherever I was going.
"Mr Pierce, please your wife has a point." The physio put in quietly.
"Annie, I hate to leave you when you're in pain."
"The sooner I get up to my room," I said, pushing the button on the elevator to get up to my floor. "The sooner I get painkillers and the sooner I will be fine!" The elevator door opened and I pushed myself in.
"I'll just come up to the room with you okay?" Hawkeye insisted.
"Then you're going straight back okay?" I said bordering asking with demanding.
"Alright." Hawkeye finally agreed and he kept his word, leaving once I was back in casualty.
By the time it was late February, I had been in hospital for almost four months, and I was on the mend. I was still pregnant, and even showing, with the baby, so far as we could see, still wonderfully healthy. Walking was now my major struggle and they weren't going to let me leave until I could walk across a room and back alone.
"Annie, all you have to do is show us that you can walk properly, without help, and obvious pain and you're free."
"Well, I can do it." I slid off the table and stood straight. My legs were regaining strength and I could now support my own weight alone. My arms were also better, and I knew would be fine after a few weeks back home, lifting weights in the form of the kids.
"Remember, across the room and back, that's all I'm asking of you." I was reminded as I began walking, I turned when I reached the wall and then made my way back. Although my hips were still stiff and ached slightly, it wasn't so bad.
"I did it!" I had made it back to the other side of the room, and I sat down wearily. I was still tired out easily by any activity, and I was wondering how I'd take the exertion of motherhood after four months away.
"You did do it!" Mindful of my still sore ribs, Hawkeye gave me a huge hug. The last stitches and tubes had finally been removed and my body was my own again. Hawkeye was also waiting for my recovery as he'd missed a lot more than just my presence around the house.
"Mr Pierce, you'd better tell your younger children to stop sleeping in Mummy's spot, because as of tomorrow night, she's going to be needing it!"
"Thankyou!" I realised I was crying but, I hadn't felt it There was little feeling in my cheeks, and it wasn't until I tasted the salt that I realised I was crying. My sense of taste was a little dulled too, but was returning in time.
"Ow!" I had gone to wipe my eyes but had smacked into my glasses. I removed the glasses and wiped the tears from my eyes, being careful, as I couldn't see what I was doing anymore. It was going to be hard recovering properly from the operations and crash. My ribs and hip were going to be painful for a very long time, my sight would never be the same again and the feeling in my face was a matter of time as to whether it returned at all.
"Careful honey," Hawkeye said, kissing the side of my head. My hair had been cut too, to allow for the surgery and I now had a very short bob of tight ringlets. It was kind of cute, but I missed my locks.
"I'm starving, and hospital food isn't much, but I want lunch. Now you go home and let the kids know I'm coming home okay?" Hawkeye left without protest this time as I'd be home the next day.
"Great, stairs" I looked up as Daniel took my hand and helped me out of the car. Stairs were still an incredibly painful feat for me and I'd forgotten exactly how many stairs there were in my house.
"We'll help you bubs, don't worry." Hawkeye had my other hand, walking me towards them, and then slowly and painfully up and into the front hall. There wasn't a child to be seen, as they were all at school, except for Danny whom Stevie had taken out for the day so I could get settled in bed.
It felt so good to be settled into my own bed again. I had moved over to Hawkeye's side, so that my right side, the worse injured of the two was on the outside, and so that when Hawkeye slept beside me there was les risk of accidentally hurting me.
"Hawkeye I'm so happy to be home." I grinned once I was comfortable. I was in a semi-sitting position, the baby bulge just visible beneath the blankets.
"Listen you go to sleep. We'll wake you when the kids get back." Daniel was sitting on the end of the bed, rubbing one of my feet. Hawkeye had closed the clinic for a day to get me home in one piece. No one in the Cove minded though, they understood.
"Okay Dad."
"Dad, can you take care of things for a while? I want to just lie here with Annie for a while okay?"
"Sure have fun kids, and not that much fun either." Daniel left agreeably.
"Dad, you think too much." I laughed while Hawkeye settled on the pillow beside me.
"It's all well and good to have little Danny by my side, but I did miss having you." He put his arm around me.
"I missed having you." I agreed, lifting his hand from where it rested on my neck and kissed it. "I can't believe I'm finally home. I'm so glad. And I really can't believe I'm pregnant!"
"Do you think the troops will mind?" Hawkeye asked, he hadn't told them either, in case I lost the baby.
"Not really. Felicity will always welcome a new arrival. If it's a boy Ben won't care, Danny will love to not be the baby anymore, Lydia and Jess should be fine, and April, well, it shouldn't worry her."
"You're right. Let's go to sleep for a bit, there's only an hour until Lydia gets home from kinder okay? Means Stevie's bringing our Mate back too."
"Okay." I agreed and settled down for the first sleep with my husband in a long time that I had missed very much.
"Annie, Hawkeye, wake up." It was Dad. "There are six children dying to see their mother here, I couldn't bear to wake you when Danny and Lydia got home, but now they're all back and they've waited an hour already."
"Thanks Dad." I smiled, "I know they're desperate to see me, but I want to see them one at a time, even the twins."
"You want to make them feel individual and special huh?" Dad smiled and I nodded.
"We'll start with April okay?" Dad said, "Then Jess and move through like that, the ones who were most upset first and then Lyss, who was the most okay with it all, last."
"Yep Hawkeye shift yourself, April needs that spot." Grumbling with love, Hawkeye moved.
"Mummy!" April ran into the room, and stopped at the sight of me in bed.
"April! Honey come here!" Hawkeye lifted the 7yo girl onto the bed and I embraced her, trying not to make a noise when I accidentally stretched still-sore muscles. "Oh my Angel-face I missed you so much, you've gotten so big, and oh my gosh, you're missing more teeth! My little girl, how have you been?"
"I missed you too, I was scared when Daddy had to go make you better. I thought you would die. I didn't want you to die, but I'm so happy you're home." April held me while I rubbed her back. Although Lydia had seen me be hit by the car, April took it harder than her baby sister. I guessed it was her already broken family that made those feelings arise in her, either that or the fact that her Daddy was responsible for her Mummy's life.
"But it's okay now Angel I'm just fine, I'm a little bit tired, but it's all going to be okay. You don't need to be scared anymore. I'm not going to die my girl." I cuddled her for a little longer and then said although I wanted to have her stay a little more I had to say hello to everyone. April understood and Danny was brought in.
"Mummy! Are you okay?" His indigo eyes were wide. "Daddy and Uncle Charles said that you was been hitted by a car and you was hurt! But it's okay Mummy, I sleeped in your bed every single night to make sure you'd come back, I just knowed it was going to make you come back and it did!"
"Really! You knew that? Wow, my little Mate, you are so clever! You just know everything don't you? I'm so proud of you my boy!" I buried my face in the sweetly chubby neck. I'd missed all my kids but for some reason my youngest son was the one I'd missed most.
"Yes I did and I was right!" Danny finished proudly. It was Jess's turn after a final cuddle, and nervously my daughter came into the room, scared of what she might find.
"Baby, my precious one, come here, darling don't be scared, I'm okay, really." It took a couple minutes of gentle coaxing, from myself, and then Daniel, before she came and sat on the bed beside me.
"Are you okay Mummy?" Jess asked, her green eyes scared for me.
"Quite baby." I assured her. "There's no need to be scared, I'm home now. I know I was away for a long time, but I'm not going away from you again."
"I thought that you would do what Daddy's Mummy did to him, never come back." Jess knew that she'd been named after Daniel's first wife, Hawkeye's mother and that Katharine had died while Hawkeye was just a boy.
"I am doing everything in my power to make sure I never do that pretty girl." I assured her.
"I don't want daddy to be alone again." Jess said.
"Neither do I." I shared a glance with Hawkeye.
"Listen my darling, I think it's about time Lydia got a chance to see me. So give me another hug and a kiss and tell Grandpa to send in Lydia in a few minutes, I need to talk to Daddy first.." Jess obliged the kiss and cuddle warmly.
"I love you so much Mummy, it is the best feeling to hug you." Jess informed me seriously as she left. Daniel popped in to confirm the five- minute wait before Lydia came in and I turned to Hawkeye.
"Honey, what Jess said then, were you really worried about me following Katharine's footsteps?" I asked as Hawkeye sat down on the bed.
"It happens, Dad mightn't have said, but his mom died when he was 13, and grandpa's mother died giving birth. It's a Pierce trait, our wives die." Hawkeye was plainly scared at that thought.
"Darling, I didn't die though did I? I think I'm going to break that tradition." I smiled, pushing my glasses onto my nose. Hawkeye bent down and kissed me.
"Just keep breaking that tradition okay?" He whispered. Lydia came in a few minutes later, a little nervous, but quite alright otherwise.
"Mummy, I saw the car, I'm sorry I didn't make you move." She whispered, cuddling against me.
"Oh, my darling, you did make me move. Don't you see Little One, that if you didn't pull when you did I would have died? You did just fine. And you were so brave." I kissed her dark little head. I loved my daughter a lot, and I didn't want her to feel bad about my accident.
"Can you get up yet mummy?" Lydia asked.
"Not right now pet, maybe tomorrow though. I'm very tired dearest."
"Well Mummy, when you do, I want to be there and hold your hand." Lydia said.
"Thankyou my beautiful Lydia. But you've got to go, it's Ben's turn now." She kissed me and left. Ben climbed up onto the bed and gave me a kiss.
"I missed you Mum, are you better?"
"Nearly," I wrapped my arms around him, he was studying me intently, for signs of obvious scars. Fascinated by medicine, he loved inspecting cuts and grazes.
"I'll show you my operation scars tomorrow Sport." I had a few beauties on my side, under my hairline, near my shoulder, and my knee.
"You will? Thankyou Mum!" Ben kissed me. "You know I was worried about you, but Ma said you weren't going to die so I knew you wouldn't."
"Well, she was right wasn't she?" I began to tickle Ben behind his knees, and he fought me off laughing, he'd inherited Hawkeye's main ticklish spot. Felicity came in a few minutes later and my pretty eldest daughter sat beside me quietly, just happy to be with me again.
"I missed you, but I knew you'd be okay. I'm just happy to be able to have you hold me again."
"I'm happy to have you in my arms Princess." She lay snuggled against me for a little, and then sat up suddenly. I had felt it too, the baby had moved for the first time. It was barely definable, but at the same time obvious.
"Mummy, are you having another baby?" I shared a glance with Hawkeye I wasn't going to lie to her.
"Yes my darling, but don't tell your brothers or sisters. No one else knows yet, it can be our little secret."
"Just you me and Daddy?" Felicity asked.
"Just you, me, Daddy, Grandpa, Ma, Grandmamma and Patrick." I added.
"Okay then, I won't tell anyone else, I promise." Felicity smiled.
"You are such a good girl darling. Did anyone ever tell you that?" I kissed her beautiful face.
"You just did." Hawkeye chimed in, joining us on the bed. The three of us cuddled for a little longer, and then the other kids joined us one-by-one, surprising me pleasantly. I shifted into the middle of the bed so they could climb in both sides and Hawkeye strategically and protectively lay on my right side, barely touching me but preventing anyone else from hurting me.
Happy, safe and home again, I fell asleep quickly. My recovery had been long, slow and painful, and there seemed little to stop it being that way as I continued to recover, but it didn't matter, I had my family and that was what counted to me.