As you may or may not know - owls are nocturnal. So one bog - standard day I was doing just what an owl was supposed to do (sleeping) when I felt something prod me. I let out a hoot and tried to ignore it - but it proded me again. So I was forced to wake up. Which is even more annoying than extremely small midget (ahem) children throwing things on the floor. (these things of course have the courtesy to land upside down and spill everywhere.)
So there I was tired as hell - and I wake up, to find a massive potatoe floating before me!!! My eyes opened in shock - and as they did they took everything in around the potatoe and I found to my dissapointment that the great big tater was attatched to a really, really gigantic, fat sausage wearing a beard and a coat and evidently struggling hard to pose as a man.
I looked hard at the potatoe-nose. I noticed hundreds of little peck marks from where the sausage man had stuck his nose into other cages - and apparently the occupants were much less tolerant than I was. I was overcome by the desire to follow suit - it would get rid of the - umm - large man, and I could go back to sleep. I looked carefully at the "nose" and shock horror!!! I saw millions upon millions of ENORMUS blackheads!!!!! That sausage man is disgusting!! Before I could reel (?) away in pure terror, the potat...nose...took off, I think the man stood up, and then I saw what looked like five sausages and a bit of salami, but was actualey a hand, zooming through the air to the top of my cage - and then - the most brilliant sensation, I was flying! And then I remembered that not only was I an owl - but I was also a flying bird. I heard a gruff voice say - "I'll take this one please." a faint clinking, and then more 'flying until I found myself outside the shop. The big fat guy who was carrying me took me down the street quite a way - until we came to another shop, outside which there was a scrawny midget with a funny squiggle on his forehead.
Great. My new master. A weed.
Woo and Yay.