Well - here we go again!
By the time I got over the initial shock of the fat man and the skinny wretch, I had been living in a muggle house for a month.
I didn't get to see much of it - because a large walrus came and yelled at the wretch who had become my master everytime i even hooted. Between the walrus and the stick insect - I went with the stick insect. (Even though he was wearing tragic round glasses - doesn't he know that it's squares all the way in the optical world?)
So anyway, one night - just as I was preparing to go out for a hunt - the midget - commonly known as Harry (what a boring name.) distracted me by coming up to me while I was perched on the windowsill, and said completely out of the blue,
"I shall call you Hedwig." and then he went away.
I nearly fell of the windowsill in indignation. For one thing, he hadn't even asked if I liked it, and for another thing - Hedwig is most definately a boys' name. Do I look like a boy mister panda-glasses? Well!!! Do I??
I flew off. When I came back - I decided that anger is a good thing. It helps you to kill millions upon millions of tiny, insignificant mice and annoying birds. I was no longer hungry - so I fluttered back into my cage ready for a nice long sleep, when I was interrupted by Harry. For the second time that night. That's what I hate about muggle houses. They have no consideration for owls. Do I go around making as much noise as possible during the night to wake them up? I think not.
"Hedwig!!" cried Harry. Annoyed at this casual use of such a rubbish name, I turned round so that he could only see my tail feathers. And do you know what he did? He turned the cage round!
Honestly - if owls fumed I would have bust my top by now.
"Guess what Hedwig - I've got school tomorrow!!"
Whoop de doo for you Basil, I thought. He was quite obviously not Basil, but I must say I really dont give a monkey's bum-hole.
"No really Hedwig! Hogwarts! It's going to be fantastic!"
I stopped myself there - Hogwarts. Hmm. I seemed to recall that the owl next to me used to work there. He told me all sorts of amazing tales about it - apparently it has the best owlery in Britain. Good good. Somewhere where I could sleep all day without getting disturbed! I was looking forward to this. To thank the little boy for taking me with, (He hadn't said he would. But he obviously wasn't going to leave me there. You can tell these sorts of things by how often your cage is cleaned and waterbowl filled.) I hopped onto his shoulder, nestled my head on his cheek, before fluttering back to the perch and obstinately going to sleep.
The next day found me in my cage, whcih was perched treacherously on Harry's trunk, which was sitting quite contentely on a trolley at London Kings Cross. Normally I would be annoyed at being awake all day - but I could sleep later, and besides I was finally going to Hogwarts - the place which all owls dreamed of!