Naruto Primer Lost Chapter: Orochimaru
Because My Arms Hurt
This chapter was supposed to be up with those failure Jiraiya and Tsunade chapters. But we were feeling pretty down with what we had created with Jiraiya and Tsunade so we needed a vacation. Hopefully, this one won't be quite as unbearable.
We told you once many an eon ago that Orochimaru was hoarding all the Magic Crystal Balls of the Past. What does he do with all of them? No one knows. Maybe he sells them on the black market. Maybe he just keeps them all for himself. Whatever the reason may be, perhaps you would like to see the adventure that was endured to retrieve such a treasure for him.
Did we actually personally steal it from him? Goodness NO! That would be silly and it would also be a self-insertion and NO ONE likes self-insertions. Except… you.
Instead, we sent the entire Super Team of Naruto, Kiba, Neji, Chouji and Shikamaru to do our dirty work. We figured they would have no problem succeeding since they defeated Orochimaru's underlings and if they just so happened to stumble across MORE of Orochimaru's inferiors then they would have no trouble with easily disposing of them.
"This time, we're going to stay together." Shikamaru said, since he's team leader. The rest of the team groaned slightly because they didn't want to take orders from Shikamaru.
BUT, since this is a chapter about Orochimaru, that means that we must focus around him and NOT the Super Team. So Orochimaru was sitting in his room currently throwing a fit because his arms hurt SO much. Yes, we know we most certainly don't have our Naruto Time Line right because Orochimaru's arm pains were WAY before The Super Team was created but we'll all just pretend that he fell out of a tree and hurt them again.
So Orochimaru was kicking and screaming and killing his random minions that were trying to give him medicine to make him feel all better. But then his favorite subordinate of all came in; KABUTO!
"Orochimaru, the Super Team has invaded your lair!" said Kabuto.
"WHAT?!" demanded Orochimaru. "This can't be!"
"What should we do, Orochimaru?" asked Kabuto.
"Nothing!" said Orochimaru. "They will never get past the moat!"
"Orochimaru, they have already gotten past the moat." Said Kabuto. "With great ease, might I add."
"They got past the alligators?" Orochimaru questioned.
"Yes." Kabuto replied.
"Ha!" laughed Orochimaru. "No need to worry! They wouldn't ever get past my GUARDS!"
"Um…well…" started Kabuto.
"Don't tell me they've already gotten past my guards, Kabuto!" said Orochimaru desperately.
"Actually, we don't have anymore guards because you killed them all while you were rampaging about your hurt arms." Kabuto confessed.
"Then YOU kill them!" Orochimaru said, sounding exasperated.
"I can't today." Kabuto said.
"And why not?" Orochimaru asked, raising his eyebrows.
"It's kind of embarrassing…I don't want to say…" Kabuto admitted.
"Fine then!" said Orochimaru. "What are they after?"
"Uh…they seem to want one of the Magic Crystal Balls of the Past." Kabuto answered.
The only response Kabuto received after that statement was Orochimaru screaming again and sounding like he was barfing. Another gofer ran in just in time for Orochimaru to kill him.
"If that is what they want, then they shall have it!" Orochimaru said finally after the lackey was sufficiently dead.
"But Orochimaru!" said Kabuto. "I thought you LOVED your Magic Crystal Balls of the Past! Why don't YOU kill them?"
"Because my arms hurt!!" whined Orochimaru. "Just give them one and tell them to go away or I shall become angry and take my anger out on YOU!"
Kabuto bowed. "Yes, Orochimaru." He said finally as he picked up a Magic Crystal Ball of the Past and left the room. At that moment, Orochimaru swore that as soon as his arms got all better, he would take care of that Super Team to the best of his power for stealing his Magic Crystal Ball of the Past.