What He Sees
"You said we were going to have fun tonight. What are we going to do?" Narikage asked his guardian as they drove home.
"Well, I was thinking that we'd rent a few movies then just stay in and pig out on junk food. What do you think?" She glanced over at him.
"What kind of movies?"
"I don't know. What are your favorite ones?"
"I've never seen a movie." Misato nearly swerved into an incoming car as she let out a yell of surprise. She jerked the car to the side of the road and slammed it into park, whirling to face him.
"You're kidding me?! You've NEVER seen a movie?!" Narikage shook his head, looking calm despite the fact that Misato had very nearly killed them both.
"No. We never had a television when I was younger and I never had the money to buy one when I lived by myself. I preferred books anyway." Misato eased the car into gear again and began driving towards home once more.
"I can't believe you've never seen a movie. Well, that settles it then! I'm going to rent a whole stack of them and we'll give you your first taste of the cinematic world." Narikage, his face turned towards his window, smiled a little.
"That sounds wonderful."
(Cut)
"Alright!" Misato dropped a stack of movies in front of Narikage before flopping on the floor beside him. "What do you want to watch first?"
"I don't know. You pick." He nudged them closer to her but they were shoved right back.
"Oh no you don't. This is your very first movie so you have to pick. You're so decisive during battles; let's see some of that." Narikage blinked then smiled a little.
"Hai." He shuffled through the pile, a look of serious concentration on his face that nearly made the other woman laugh aloud. Almost right after the urge came a wave of sadness because it suddenly struck her that he shared Shinji's focused look. Misato forced it from her mind, turning instead to watching him sift through the movies. She noticed that he discarded many of the violent films at once and seemed to take a great interest that most boys his age would never even dream about watching unless they were seriously trying to impress a girl on a date.
"Is this one alright?" He held up a sappy comedy that he had found near the bottom. Normally, she never would have even considered watching such a movie but in this case, was more than willing to make an exception.
"Great! One of my favorites!" 'A little white lie can't hurt at a time like this,' she thought as she popped the movie into the player. She sat back next to Narikage, shoving a large bowl into his lap. "You do know popcorn at least, right?"
"Of course." He picked up a few kernels, chewing them slowly, his eyes riveted to the screen. A moment later he stood. "Excuse me."
"Where are you going?"
"I just have to get something." He disappeared into his room for a few moments and when he returned, he was wearing his glasses.
"I thought those were only for reading."
"Actually, I'm pretty blind without them." He took another handful of popcorn, eating one piece at a time as he blinked at the screen.
"Could have fooled me."
"I'm able to rely on my other senses most of the time. One of the very few advantages to being what I am is that my senses are, usually, very acute. There are occasional instances where I can't do very much but it's not so often anymore."
"Here, let me see." She plucked his glasses off, holding them to her own eyes. Almost instantly, she was stuck with a wave of nausea and was quick to hand them back. "Yikes." Narikage laughed the slightest bit, putting them on once more.
"Told you." A silence fell over them after that as the two became engrossed in the movie. Though Narikage never actually laughed, he would chuckle every so often or his mouth would tip upwards in a small, but visible, smile. That was more than enough, however, to make Misato herself smile.
Narikage seemed so wrapped up in the movie that it was a complete surprise to her when, out of nowhere, he turned and said:
"Arigato, Misato-san."
"For what?"
"Just...thank you. I don't think I would have been able to survive here if it wasn't for you." Misato smiled.
"That's sweet of you to say, Narikage, but I doubt it. You've survived pretty well on your own until now."
"No...not really. The boy looked thoughtfully his lap, trying to figure out the best way to explain it. "I survived because I had to," he finally said. "I fought hard to find my place and once I found it, it was a constant struggled to keep it. I had to do it without any sort of help whatsoever and it's tiring when you have no one to rely on or fall back upon but yourself. When you found me, Misato-san, I was more than ready to give up." His pale eyes met her darker ones. "If I had simply been moved here and left, I wouldn't have survived. I know that beyond a doubt. That's how tired I was. But by being there...you gave me someone else to fall back upon should the need arise. So for that...arigato." He dipped his head.
Misato stared at him, not quite sure how to respond to such open honesty. "You don't need to thank me," she managed at last, reaching out and laying a hand on his arm. "It's what friends do, that's all." Narikage smiled at his lap.
"I've never had a friend before...I like it." He raised his head, giving her a real smile before they turned back to their movie.
(Cut)
"He'd never seen a movie?!"
"No. But he seemed to enjoy them. We watched three in a row before I could convince him to go to bed," Misato said, cradling the phone between her shoulder and ear as she opened another beer.
"So he's in a good mood again?" Ritsuko asked.
"Seems to be. It could change at any moment though."
"Yeah, so I've noticed."
Misato turned her head sharply when she heard what sounded like a whimper coming from Narikage's room.
"Misato? Misato? Are you there?"
"I'll call you back, Ritsuko." Ignoring her friend's yells of protest, she dropped the phone back onto its cradle, dashing to the boy's door. "Narikage? Are you alright?" She knocked softly then, having gotten no reply, a little louder. "Narikage-kun?" She slid open the door.
He was huddled under a tangle of sheets and blankets, curled up in a tight ball. Sweat covered his entire body and every so often, he would cry out or give a sudden convulsive jerk.
"Narikage!" She ran to his side, grabbing his shoulders and giving him a little shake. "Narikage, wake up!" The boy gave what sounded like half a sob and half a moan, falling forward into her arms, still tight within the grips of his nightmare.
(Start Dream)
"NO! Papa, please!" The small boy struggles in the doctors' arms, screaming and pleading with his cold-eyed father.
"Don't do this! He's just a child!" His mother is being restrained on the other side of the room but she is proving much more of a battle than the boy.
"This is the only way and you know it." Finally, six doctors are able to wrestle him onto the cold steel table and they are forced to strap him down with thick leather restraints to keep him from escaping. His father is holding a needle filled with a thick, red substance and the boy is more scared than ever.
"Papa! Please, Papa!" He can feel hot tears running down his face as he begs his father to let him go.
"Stop your crying!" His father slaps him and he hears his mother scream. The boy is stunned; his father has never hit him before. "Now sit still so we can do this."
"Gendo! Onegai! Stop!" his mother screams as the sharp needle pierces the boy's flesh. The boy feels so cold so suddenly and everything around him fades...
(End Dream)
"Oh god, Narikage..." Misato watched, helpless, as twin trails of blood began coursing down his pale cheeks. She tried to wipe them away but the end result were thick crimson streaks all over her hands and his face. "Narikage, wake up. Come on, Narikage." She shook his again, her face determined but slightly panicked. The boy sobbed again, his head lolling limply to the side. "Narikage, please..." Misato pulled him close to her, hugging him tightly and rocking him. "Please...wake up..."
(Start Dream)
"MAMA!!!" The black-haired boy whirls, catching the other boy before he can get any closer to the dangerous EVA. "NO! Let me go! We have to save Mama!"
"We can't help her now! We have to get back!"
"No! We have to--!"
"Listen to me!" He's gripping the younger boy by the shoulders now, staring into his dark blue eyes with his own paler ones. "I'll protect you, Otouto. I promise." Before the little boy can say anything more, he has scooped him up and is running from the dangerous unit.
"No! Let me go, Yoshiko! We have to save Mama!"
"No one can save her now, Otouto. She's gone...and it's all his fault." As the boy runs, he looks back over his shoulder and he can see his mother, for just an instant, and can see the terror on her face. But their eyes meet just before she disappears and there are tears there. She smiles and blows him a kiss before disappearing forever...
(End Dream)
"No! Mama!" Narikage jerked suddenly from his nightmares, his pale eyes wide, crimson tears still pouring from his eyes. Misato, her clothing smeared with the substance started back a little, surprised by the sudden awakening.
"Narikage...are you alright?" The boy raised his shaking hands, covering his face for a moment. Without a word, Misato wrapped her arms around him again, pulling him into his lap as if he were less than half the sixteen he really was. He went more than willingly, a small sob tearing from his throat. She hugged his close, her cheek resting atop his bowed head. "What do you see, Narikage?" she whispered, closing her eyes as she spoke. "What do you see that makes you cry so?"
"I see her...I see her disappear..." he whispered back, his voice trembling.
Misato said nothing more.