Naruto Primer Lost Chapter: Kankuro/Gashir
Most Random Pair Ever
This is a chapter that we WANTED to write, but then we were afraid you guys would think we were on crack so we didn't.
We went on a quest for the most RANDOM Naruto pairing EVER. We came across many pairings that shocked, amused and, frankly, disturbed us. For example, we found that Misumi (one of Kabuto's teammates) can be with pretty much anyone because of his famous attack; the RAPE NO JUTSU!! You know, when he wraps himself around his enemy and "attacks" them? We call it Rape no Jutsu.
But we're not talking about Misumi! We're talking about other odd pairs!
We find Kakashi and Iruka pretty random but everyone seems to like that way too much work for us to actually do a chapter about it as we have previously explained.
SO ANYWAY, because our attempts to find the most random pairing ever completely failed, we had to think up our OWN! That's right. We thought up our OWN most random pairing ever.
One of them definitely had to be Gashir who is, next to Kiba, the most underrated character in the entire Naruto series. He's that really cool and awesome guy who Hiashi killed when he tried to kidnap Hinata. No, Gashir was doing the kidnapping, not Hiashi, just so you know.
Then who else… who else indeed?
We went through all the random people we could think of and then the most random person of all hit us.
KANKURO!
Kankuro and Gashir was a match made in heaven. I mean, they both have puppets, after all.
…?
Hang on, Gashir doesn't have a puppet.
Strike that.
Okay…Kankuro and Gashir belong together because they're both jounins!
YEAH!!
…Oh wait.
No, Kankuro isn't a jounin. He's a GENIN!
I know! They both have psychopathic younger brothers that are possessed by some evil sand demon.
…Hang on. Not Gashir. Only Kankuro.
I got it! Both are DEAD! I knew I'd find a reason why they belong together!
Hold just a tick. Kankuro's alive…dagnabbit…
Well, I guess there is no reason that they belong to each other. You know why? BECAUSE THEY'RE THE MOST RANDOM NARUTO PAIRING EVER!! BWA HA HA HA HA!!
Whew…lost the cool there.
So here is our chapter dedicated to Kankuro and Gashir lovin'.
"Oh Gashir, I LOVE you!" said Kankuro as he threw all of his previous lovers aside since he has a bunch and all.
"And I love you too, Kankuro my dearest." Said Gashir.
"If anyone gets in the way of our love, I will use my puppet to protect us from harm!" Kankuro promised.
"And I will use my jounin abilities too!" Gashir said.
"But Gashir, lover, you died by getting punched only once." Kankuro reminded him.
"Uh…no?" said Gashir.
Then they both chuckled warmly and ran off to hang out and be lovers.