Sorry about the massivly long delay. I hope Mr. Filch and his furry banana (ok, ok - that sounded wrong. I meant the stupid cat.) forgive me. Please not the thumbscrews!!!! Anyone who has been holding their breath over this (yeah right) is now probably dead, and if not, I would advise them to breathe. Lots.
PS. Have momentarily lost all capability to spell.
Down side to my life:
Palomides is still away.
Upside to my life:
The Mort Machine and I are back in business!
Not as an item or anything, obviously - but he couldn't take it anymore when he was flying with Errol in the grounds, who happened not to notice the great big fat tree in front of him. Birdbrain. (Pardon the pun.) Anyway, he came begging on his knees to resolve our arguement. Well, not quite on his knees. Owls don't have knees - and it was a little less than begging.....
....but all the same - Morty and Wiggy are no longer a thing of the past!
To prove how sorry he was, he took me for supper (I call it supper for the benefit of the reader. Your supper is actually our breakfast.) in a pub where a cousin of his has a good roost. It was fantastic, there where little midget coakroach waitresses and everything! So, we take our desired perches, and a coakroach scuttles over.
"Hello, I am Very Small and Insignificant and I will be serving you today. Is there anything I can get you?"
"What's the menu?" asked Morty.
"Well, we have roast vole stuffed with garlic and served with fried mushrooms, we have an entire chicken if you are really hungry, stuffed with fried mushrooms, and served in a garlic sauce. Today we have half a spitted rabbit, garnished with garlic and fried mushrooms - and of course, the pub speciality - a fried mushrooms, stuffed with garlic, served in a creamy garlic dressing, and garnished with fried mushrooms."
"What's with all the garlic and fried mushrooms?"
"Haven't you heard sir? There's a vampire in these parts!"
"Oh - alright, but what about the fried mushrooms?"
"But, sir - I just explained - they're because of the vampire!"
We left.
Either the coakroach is thick, or their are some extremely weird vampires hanging around Hogwarts. Fried mushrooms never harmed anyone - unless of course they are poisonous. In which case, we would be dead - not the vampire.
Unless they were trying to feed the wretched creature! Or....
No, I'll stop. The list of possibilities is endless! Oh, I must pop in on Serberus soon - I miss the old chappy. Haven't seen him in yonks.
So there you go. By the by, George - Serberus is an ancient mythical creature. Greek myths. Is the light dawning?