Naruto Primer Lost Chapter: Super Team

Pass Around the Blame

We kind of left a window open at the end of the Orochimaru for him to go off and destroy the Super Team. And we did that entirely by accident! But when we did it, we were all like, hey! It'll be like when Itachi went around trying to kill Kiba, Naruto and Neji! But now it'll be Orochimaru trying to kill Kiba, Naruto, Neji, Shikamaru and Chouji! Will they survive?! I hope so!! You'll have to read to find out!!!!!!!

The entire Super Team was hanging out with each other because they're super and they rule. Of course, under REAL circumstances, I doubt they would ever really hang out with each other as a big mob, but we can pretend they would.

"Got any threes?" Naruto asked.

"Go fish." Neji answered.

Before Naruto could go fish, someone dropped down from the heavens and landed in the middle of their card game. The five of them gasped and stepped back.

"I've come to get revenge on you!" said Orochimaru. "For three valid reason! First of all, you smote my minions! Second, you stole my Magic Crystal Ball of the Past! Third, I'm mean and just don't like you! Well…I guess that's four reason…"

"EEK!" said Naruto, Kiba and Chouji as they jumped behind Shikamaru and Neji.

"What are you doing?" Shikamaru said, looking annoyed.

"Well, Shikamaru, you're a chuunin and Neji…" started Naruto but then he stopped and pondered. "I guess if you lost to me then you should be back here too." He grabbed Neji's arm and pulled him behind Shikamaru.

"Don't do that again." Neji said, wrenching his arm away from Naruto and standing back up.

"Ha!" laughed Orochimaru. "You won't get survive my attacks!"

"Hurry Neji!" said Kiba. "Make him think of an alternative punishment and prolong our deaths until he's thought it over!"

"Whatever happened to me hiding behind Shikamaru?" Neji said.

"That was NARUTO!" said Chouji.

"You can run but you can't hide!" said Orochimaru.

"Okay, okay, we can think up a plan." Said Shikamaru.

"Is that all you're good for?!" demanded Naruto.

"Yes." Shikamaru answered.

"You can't stop me!!" said Orochimaru.

"Will you stop spouting out cliché bad guy lines?" Neji said, sounding annoyed.

"Uh…" said Orochimaru.

"Come on, we have to take him all together!" said Naruto, looking determined. "It's the only way to rise triumphant!"

"You mean…blindly run towards him and see what happens?" Kiba said.

"YES!" Naruto answered.

"Sounds like a plan!" Kiba said, punching the air.

"No." said Shikamaru, grabbing both of their collars before they began their attack.

"Aww…" they said sadly.

"If you're not going to attack me then I shall come at you!" said Orochimaru.

"Great, we lost our advantage of attacking first." Chouji said as Orochimaru started charging at them.

"This reminds me of when Sasuke's evil brother came and attacked us!" whined Kiba.

At the sound of that sentence, Orochimaru stopped dead and started looking around with an excited expression on his face. "Sasuke's here?" he said, sounding like a happy puppy if that puppy could potentially talk.

"…No…" said the Super Team.

"Oh." Said Orochimaru, sounding sad. "In that case, I shall destroy you!!"

(I had the sudden urge to make Orochimaru whip out a magic wand and use that to destroy them right then and there. Weird, huh?)

As Orochimaru went to attack them, our Super Team leapt up into the air and hid in the trees. Orochimaru wasn't far behind and what followed was a long sequence in which a bunch of people are jumping through trees and talking about stuff. But ESPECIALLY Shikamaru who didn't stop talking. He had a lot to say.

"Okay, now that we've been hoping around in trees for a long time and Shikamaru's been talking, let's think of something we can do to escape Orochimaru's wrath." Kiba said.

"Hm…" said everyone thoughtfully.

"How about if we gave back the Magic Crystal Ball of the Past?" Chouji suggested.

"I don't know if that will work." Neji said. "Because then he still has three other reason why he wants to kill us."

"Oh yeah…" Chouji sighed.

"Seems pretty hopeless." Naruto said, looking at Shikamaru.

The four of them looked at Shikamaru and then started clearing their throats.

"Look, guys, I'm trying to think." Shikamaru said. "You clearing your throats constantly isn't going to make me think any faster."

"Sorry…" said the four, bowing their heads in shame.

Suddenly Orochimaru appeared in front of them.

"You can't run any further!!" Orochimaru yelled as they all got so surprised that they fell out of the trees. Orochimaru followed them back to the ground. "Prepare for DEATH!"

"Orochimaru, wait." Said Neji, standing up and brushing off his bottom.

"Why should I?" Orochimaru said, crossing his arms.

"Okay, we're willing to admit that what we did was wrong in a way." Neji said. "Right everyone?"

"Right…" said everyone quickly.

"AND?" said Orochimaru.

"I'm sure there's an…uh…agreement that can be reached so that no one has to be smote." Neji tried.

"Like what?" Orochimaru asked skeptically.

"We could…mow your lawn?" Neji said. "Dry cleaning? Grocery shopping? Anything else you can think of?"

Orochimaru looked like he was going to say something, but then put his hand on his chin in such a way that suggested he was actually considering it. The rest of the Super Team held their breath.

"Well…" Orochimaru started but suddenly, about eighty-five Leaf jounins appeared out of nowhere.

"Orochimaru!!" yelled the one in front. "How DARE you come back here!"

"And harass a group of innocent genins at that too!" said a random jounin.

"Actually, Shikamaru is a chuunin." Came a voice from the crowd that sounded remarkably like Asuma.

"Oh…right…so he is." The random jounin corrected himself. "These genins and this one chuunin."

"Er…uh…" started Orochimaru. "Um…well…"

"GET HIM!!" yelled the jounins as they all pounced for Orochimaru and created a huge pile on him. When they finally realized that that wasn't the smartest plan of attack, they quickly got off him only to find that he was nowhere to be found.

"That was dumb." Said one of the jounins. "Well, let's head home."

All of the jounins disappeared, leaving the Super Team there alone.

"What do you say we head back to the village just in case?" Naruto suggested nervously. Everyone agreed and quickly made their way back.

"Whose idea was it anyway for the five of us to come in a secluded place in the middle of a forest to play a game of cards?" Shikamaru asked.

"It was Naruto's idea." Said Kiba.

"No, it was Neji." Naruto retorted.

"No, it was Chouji." Neji argued.

"Don't pass the blame around when we all know very well it was Kiba!" Chouji said.

"It was all of you EXCEPT me." Said Kiba.

Hi ho. You may be curious as to why "if" was randomly brought attention to approximately half way through the story. BECAUSE THAT WAS OUR MILLIONTH WORD EVER PUBLISHED ON !!! 38 and 1/2 stories...one million words... all comes down to the word 'IF'!! Anti-climactic, isn't it? CANDY FOR ALL!! Confetti galore! Have a swellerific day!!

Also, no updates for the rest of this week. Sorry. But we are away and simply can't find a way to update. But at least you got to see the one millionth word! No matter how LAME it was!