Paint Wars: A Chocolate Hope, The Garlic Strikes Back and The Return of the Garlic

And a wedding too!

Disclaimer: None of us own it. No... wait... I OWN THIS DISCLAIMER!!!! YAY!!!!!

Hey, did I just put in a short title for once? Oh well, who cares...? It's ONLY after midnight as I type this out...

A note from Jandalf: Originally, we were going to post the next chapter as "A Chocolate Hope"…but I looked it over and it covers the exact same thing! Erk. So…perhaps we'll post it later as a "deleted scene", or something…(smacks self) Heh. So. This chapter is A Chocolate Hope, The Garlic Strikes Back AND The Return of the Garlic.

Oh yeah, and the intro... by memory, because I, Tiana, am too lazy to pull out the previous fics. Sigh.

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, there were Jedi Knights. And these Jedi were the wielders of the Force, and the upholders of the peace. And, the Jedi Temple was a place of quiet contemplation... well... most of the time. Sometimes strange things happened... heck, there's been so many strange things happening of late... well... we'll just let you read on and see about those strange happenings...

It was a bright and sunny day-- although not at the Jedi Temple. At the Jedi Temple, it was a cloudy, gray day, though there was no sign of rain-- there was only signs of Anakin. A wedding was being planned, everything was in chaos-- though it was organized chaos at least. Well, in a way. Anakin Skywalker was running around screaming about using the Force to put up decorations, while, in the meantime, Tiana and Jandalf were having an interesting discussion...

"I want to rule the universe," Tiana said, as she put up random decorations. They had attempted to kavamm the decorations up, however, that failed, and they were stuck putting them up the hard way-- Tiana on a chair, and Jandalf on a step stool. (Obi-Wan wasn't helping because he was too busy chasing Anakin!)

"Yes, I know, Padawan," Jandalf said absentmindedly, as she put up decorations, as I noted earlier. Then the meaning of that hit her. "BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!" she proclaimed.

Tiana looked at her strangely, and hopped off the chair, falling and smashing several objects in the process. "What's with the insane laughter, master?"

"WE SHALL RULE THIS UNIVERSE AS FATHER AND... wait... that doesn't really work..."

"Ummm... no it doesn't, master. Here." The still short Padawan handed up the lights she had got down to get, having to stand on a chair to get to Jandalf's height however, ruined the effect. "If you want to dominate the world, it would work better as Master and Padawan, I think."

"Sure!" Jandalf had been drinking lots of coffee earlier, thereby causing her to end up on a sugar high. Well, not a sugar high, but she was hyper, anyhow, since she liked coffee too much for her own good. Jandalf can personally vouch for this. Tiana climbed back up on the chair and helped her string the lights.

Just then, Anakin walked by with garlic in hand. "Garlic?"

"Okay!" agreed Tiana, climbing down to get the garlic. Jandalf grabbed her, just as she began going into the Galadriel quotes.

"PUT THAT AWAY!" Obi-Wan came running in, looking as if he had been running. Anakin made a face, and hid behind Tiana, who was going on and on about people loving her and despairing.

"No!" said Anakin.

Jandalf sighed dramatically. "Not THAT line again..."

"Put me dooooowwwwwwnnnnnnnnn!!!!" screeched Tiana, as Jandalf dropped her. Tiana fell into a heap of laundry on the floor, and wondered where the laundry came from anyhow.

"Yes!" screamed Obi-Wan back at Anakin.

"NO!"

"YES!"

"NO!!"

"YEEEEESSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO..." Anakin paused, took a breath. "You killed my father."

"Ow," said Tiana, standing up.

Jandalf snickered, and looked at Anakin. "Anakin, you don't have a father."

"Awwwwwwwwwwwww..." Anakin stopped, and jumped up onto the chair dramatically, and taking on a new tone, he proclaimed, "I do SO HAVE A FATHER!!!!!!! DYE!!!!!!!!" However, unlike usual, green dye did not appear from nowhere, and the effect of screaming 'dye' on top of a chair was rather ruined. Anakin slipped, and tumbled off of the chair, and landed on top of Tiana. "Ow. Anyhow..." He stood up, and ignoring the fact that Tiana was yelling at him in Elvish to watch his step; proclaimed, "I do so have a father, you just don't want to tell me!"

"Anakin..." Obi-Wan sighed. "You do not have a father! You were conceived by the Force!"

"Ummmmm..." said Tiana, standing up, and ceasing the yelling in Elvish.

Anakin jumped up, fell down, and jumped back up again. Of course, the fact that he fell ruined the dramatic effect, but no one seemed to notice that... "YES!" he proclaimed. "YOU KILLED THE FORCE!!!!!!"

Jandalf was suddenly very confused. "...Who, me?"

"You killed my father, the Force," Anakin repeated. He looked very smug, and proud of himself.

Jandalf was even more confused. She jumped down, and nearly slipped herself, because someone had just waxed the floors. Which was very confusing in itself because the floors were rug, and NOT wood. But no one ever seemed to pay attention to those small details. "I didn't kill him... it... ummm... did I?" The Jedi Master was even more confused by now.

Anakin rolled his eyes. "Obi-Wan did. Not you." While they were all in such a state of confusion, Anakin planted garlic in the fruit punch.

"What?! How in that galaxy would I accomplish... ANAKIN! BAD PADAWAN!" Obi-Wan hissed. Which was seemingly out of character for him, but that's okay, because I'm the Narrator, and I said he hissed. This is the point in time where the Narrator will look smug.

"You have a furry lizard... and what... I'M NOT BAD!" Anakin screeched, and glared at Obi-Wan. "Anyhow, why do you have a furry lizard?"

"I do not have a ysalamiri, and yes, you are bad," Obi-Wan replied, attempting to remove the garlic from the punch.

"You do too!" insisted Anakin. Of course, the fact he ignored was that all of the present Jedi could feel the Force, making for a problem with that argument.

"DO NOT!" shouted Obi-Wan, glaring at the punch which continued to hold a garlic flavor. He threw it out, and ordered some more.

"LOOK! IT'S BEHIND YOU!" announced Anakin, jumping up and down gleefully.

Obi-Wan looked very confused, along with Jandalf. "What?"

"HI, QUI-GON!" Anakin announced, bouncing up and down-- an interesting feat, being as the floor was not exactly bouncy. Nonetheless, Anakin was bouncing up and down.

Obi-Wan was even more confused for a moment, until it sunk in. "What... Master?"

"Yesssss... it is I," hissed Qui-Gon, who sounded very UNQui-Gonlike when he did that.

"Oh... hi..." They both looked confused, until Qui-Gon commented, "I feel dead."

"Uh-huh..."

"I had to come back for your wedding," Qui-Gon explained.

Obi-Wan nodded, and brightened up considerably. "Well, that's awfully nice of you. Do you want to meet my bride?"

The dead Jedi straightened up, and adjusted invisible sunglasses for no reason at all. "But I already have, Mr. Ander...err...Obi-Wan. Ummm... sure!"

"Have you been watching The Matrix again?" asked Obi-Wan suspiciously.

Jandalf bounced into the picture, having left to fetch the new punch, though no one noted that earlier, not even the Narrator. "HI QUI-GON!!!"

Qui-Gon hid the DVD behind his back quickly, as he turned to look at Jandalf. Obi-Wan tsked, finding his Master's obsession with The Matrix to be rather annoying. "HI, JANDALF!"

Anakin made a rather odd face, as he took the punch, and set it back down, and then helped himself to Qui-Gon's DVD, until, that is, he tripped over Tiana, and dropped it.

"How's life... errr... death treating you?" asked Jandalf cheerfully.

"Dead, as usual," replied Qui-Gon.

Jandalf nodded. "Okay, I see."

Tiana stood up, being as she had just been tripped on by Anakin, which gave her reason to be on the floor. "Master, you're talking to dead people...? Qui-Gon is dead."

"Yes, I know, Padawan."

"Why are you talking to the wall, and addressing it as Qui-Gon...? Are you having mental problems again?"

Jandalf looked very insulted. "Of course not, Padawan. I'm talking to Qui-Gon Jinn's Force ghost. And I'm NOT having mental problems. ...did you say AGAIN...?"

"Uh... no?"

Jandalf glared at Tiana. "Suuuuuuurrrrre. Just use the Force, Padawan."

"You're talking to the WALL... seriously, you need help, master!"

"No, everyone else can see him fine!"

Anakin waved, quite pointlessly. "Hi Qui-Gon!"

"I can see him," pointed out Obi-Wan.

Tiana put her hands on her hips. "Well, I CAN'T!"

"Then try harder!"

Tiana shook her head, and sat down, accidentally landing on a water balloon, and splattering water everywhere. She made a face, and stood back up. "You are all going insane!" she proclaimed.

"Well, I admit to that, but still..." Jandalf glared at Tiana again. "Anyhow, Obi-Wan and Anakin aren't so insane."

Anakin made a face. "Weeeelllllllll..."

"That remains to be determined," Tiana said dryly.

Anakin hid the garlic. "EEEEKKKKKK!!!! IT'S A VAMPIRE!!!!!" he screamed. A little known fact about Anakin is that he is actually afraid of vampires, and that is why he carries garlic.

"Where?!" asked Obi-Wan, drawing a wooden stake. ((It took me a while to get this, I'm not educated in vampire lore, snrk.))

"THHHEEERRREEE!!!! LOOK!!!!" Anakin pointed wildly at a faintly pink shape.

Suddenly, Yoda walked out of the mist. "Only me, it is."

"I SEE HIM!!!!" Obi-Wan proclaimed. "Oh... heh heh... hello, Master..."

"Bad Padawan, you are," stated the slightly pinkish Yoda, who stepped forward, and slipped in the puddle. Tiana hid laughter as she helped the diminutive Jedi Master up.

Obi-Wan quickly hid his wooden stake. "Sorry."

"Try kill me, do you?" Yoda would've waved around his gimer stick, but he needed it to stay balanced on the slippery (waxed and carpeted) floor.

"Yes?" asked Anakin.

"Ummmmm..." said Tiana.

"No, no, I'd never try to kill you, Master," Obi-Wan said hastily. "Only vampires."

Jandalf sighed, and Qui-Gon giggled.

"Right..." said Yoda, shaking his head.

"Hey, Qui-Gon, you want to be our best man?" asked Jandalf.

"Sure," answered Qui-Gon.

Jandalf stopped, and thought for a moment. "Best dead man, that is..."

Tiana made a face, and nearly slipped in the process. "A best man I can't see...?"

"REALLY, I DIDN'T MEAN IT!" continued Obi-Wan, rather pointlessly, because no one was paying attention to him beyond the narrator anyhow.

Jandalf looked at Tiana, and shook her head. "You could see him if you used the Force, Padawan."

Tiana looked up at her master. "Is he wearing the One Ring?"

Jandalf stopped. "No... he's dead." Tiana just shook her head, and I'm sure you all can imagine what she was thinking...

But what Tiana was thinking was of little concern as Anakin hid the One Ring.

"Dead?" asked Tiana, pointlessly, as we all had guessed her thoughts anyhow.

Jandalf sighed. "...Anakin..."

"I KNEW YOU WERE NUTS!!!!!!!!!!!" screamed Tiana.

Jandalf rolled her eyes, and sat down. "Yes, Padawan. Dead. And I'm just insane, I'm not nuts."

Tiana rolled her eyes. "Like that doesn't mean the same thing, anyhow."

Suddenly there was a loud poof. "Can you see me now?" asked Qui-Gon.

Tiana nodded, in shock. "Heh heh... sorry..."

"Oh good!" Obi-Wan grinned. "I wanted Qui-Gon to be the best man, anyhow... well... the best dead one..."

"I can still see you, Qui-Gon," said Jandalf, for really no reason at all.

Suddenly, a thought came to Anakin, and he slipped. Again. And stood back up. "I have to marry Tiana? But WHHHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYY???????????????????"

Obi-Wan made a face. "Because she loves you. You'd better get used to that, Anakin."

Anakin snorted. "She just loves tormenting me."

There was a long pause. "Well, that too," admitted Obi-Wan. "Why don't you try loving her back?"

Anakin choked, in shock. "Do WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!? I HAVE TO LOVE HER?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!"

Obi-Wan sighed. "I knew that wasn't going to go over so well, somehow. But it would be ideal for both of you, Padawan."

Anakin sighed. "...Well... I can try... I guess..."

Obi-Wan nodded. "There's a good lad."

"But Tiana has to stop tormenting me then," Anakin added in.

"You can make a deal with her, you know..."

Tiana choked. "WHAT?!!!!!!!!!"

"It's all in fairness, really."

Tiana continued with her hysterics. "I HAVE TO BE NICE TO ANI?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!"

Jandalf patted Tiana on the back. "C'mon, Padawan, you can do it!"

Tiana made a face. "Well... maybe..."

"Maybe," said Anakin. The two looked at each other...

Violin strings began to play in the background.

Tiana stopped looking at Anakin, and the moment was ruined, sadly. "HEY!"

Jandalf shrugged. "Sorry, just creating the mood."

Minas Morgul theme music began to play as Tiana glowered at Jandalf. Of course, the whole effect of glowering was lost considering she had to look up to glower, and thereby ruining it. "Mood music," Tiana said, dryly.

Jandalf nodded. "That's my Padawan."

Tiana nodded. "Yeah, I'm still your Padawan whatever happens... hopefully..."

Frantically, Obi-Wan looked around. "Where? What? Music? How?" He continued looking around, and Jandalf sighed.

"You're scaring my fiancé, Padawan."

Anakin sighed. "It's in the CD player, Master... Tiana brought one, you know."

"Ohhhh... heh heh..."

Anakin looked over, and fiddled with it; changed the music to In Dreams.

"Oops, sorry, Obi-Wan," said Tiana.

"Right. Maybe I need to lay off on the coffee," replied Obi-Wan, forgetting the effect the word... (whispers) coffee (end whisper) had on Jandalf.

"COFFEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!" screeched Jandalf, and sighed happily. "Yuuuuummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm....I want coffee........................."

Tiana made a face. "EWWW!!!! NO COFFEE!!!!!!!"

"I WANT COFFEE!!!!!!!!!!" Jandalf proceeded to kavamm up coffee, and make Tiana scowl. Tiana hated coffee, if you don't recall from the last chapter.

"Can we play Duel of the Fates?" asked Obi-Wan, looking at the CD player.

"SURE!" Anakin replied happily. He pulled out the CDs, and began flipping through to find the right song. "Wait, doesn't that one bring up bad memories..."

"I LOVE KICK-BUTT MUSIC!!!!! And no... not really... I mean, my master's still with me in spirit... right, Master?"

Qui-Gon was plugging his ears, and muttering something about dying to that music. "Can't you play Into the West?"

"Consider it a memorial, then," said Obi-Wan. He glared at Tiana, who was jumping up and down singing a spoofy version of Into the West. "Duel first, and then West."

Tiana stopped jumping. "Oh... okay."

Obi-Wan popped in the CD. "Hey, why are you plugging your ears?"

Qui-Gon unplugged his ears. "What? I didn't hear you!"

Obi-Wan sighed. "Fine, have it your way, but I'm still listening to Duel!"

As the song went on, Qui-Gon unplugged his ears. "Hey, this isn't half bad..."

Obi-Wan snickered. "I kicked Maul's butt... heh heh..."

Qui-Gon muttered something about being killed, and Obi-Wan added in, "I avenged you."

Qui-Gon shrugged. "Okay, that's good, then."

"With your lightsaber even! How fitting is that?" remarked Obi-Wan.

"Speaking of which, can I have it back?" asked Qui-Gon. "Ah, never mind... you can keep it."

"Thank you, Master." Obi-Wan kept Qui-Gon's lightsaber.

"Say, Qui-Gon," began Jandalf, "can you wear a tux while you're dead?"

Tiana begina snickering. "Just don't go in the moonlight..."

"Ummm... yeah... but I don't WANT to..." He looked over at Jandalf and Tiana, both of whom were snickering insanely.

"Heh heh... moonlight... heh heh..." Jandalf giggled.

Obi-Wan looked over at his master. "Why not?"

"What was that about moonlight?" asked Qui-Gon suspiciously.

Jandalf grinned. "Oh, nothing..."

Tiana giggled.

"Do you have a suit that will fit me, Padawan?" asked Qui-Gon.

Tiana, in the meantime, was plotting about moonlight, and cursed Aztec gold.

"...Me?" Obi-Wan pointed at himself. "I'm at least twelve sizes smaller than you, Master. At least."

Qui-Gon smiled. "My point exactly."

"Don't you have one?"

"No," Qui-Gon answered. He shuddered—Qui-Gon did not like wearing suits.

"They have lots of things in the lands of the dead, or so I hear," Obi-Wan commented. "Surely there's a Moores store somewhere."

Qui-Gon rolled his eyes. "I don't shop, anyhow. And I'm not going back there."

"Then get Tahl to. She's there with you, isn't she? She knows your sizes."

Qui-Gon suddenly started crying pitifully. Obi-Wan and Jandalf looked at each other. "What? Did I say something?" asked Obi-Wan.

"SHE'S NOT THE ONLY PERSON THERE, PADAWAN!!!!!!!" wailed Qui-Gon.

"What's THAT supposed to mean?" asked Obi-Wan, confused.

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! SO'S DARTH MAUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" lamented Qui-Gon, pathetically.

Obi-Wan stopped, and made a face. "Oh... ummm... oops?"

"HE TOOK OVER ALL THE MOORES STORES!!!!!!!!" Qui-Gon continued, stopping for a moment to reflect on how stupid that phrasing sounded. He gave up on it, however, and continued bawling.

Obi-Wan nodded. "Ah. I see. Well... wasn't Tahl good with a sewing machine?" asked Obi-Wan.

In a random flash of... nothing, actually... Tahl appeared. "You bet, sweetums!"

Quo-Gon continued wailing. "HE TOOK THE SEWING MACHINE TOO!!!!!!" And then he stopped, as he noticed the cute Jedi that hd just appeared. "Heeeeelllllooooo..."

"Not mine, he didn't," stated Tahl. She winked at Qui-Gon. "Hey, there."

Qui-Gon grinned. "GREAT! Hey, let's get married!"

"Awesome! A threesome wedding!" Tahl announced.

Yoda walked in, glaring, and looking quite red. "Forget me, do you?"

Jandalf managed to keep a very blank face.

"And ME!" annonced Padmé.

"Fivesome then. But who are you marrying, Padmé?" asked Tahl.

"Boba, remember?" asked Padmé, sighing happily, and ignoring Anakin's fuming. Anakin was quickly quieted by Tiana, however.

"Ooooooh... isn't that a cute match!" said Jandalf.

"Sigh... yes... Boba Fett..." Padmé smiled contentedly.

"You mean the clone of the guy who tried to kill me?" asked Obi-Wan, scowling for a moment.

"I'm not going to kill you," the masked bounty hunter said, stepping in. "I'm merely going to marry Padmé."

Padmé smiled, and sighed. "He's so handsome..."

"Hey, my guy's handsome too!" Tahl grinned at Qui-Gon.

Jandalf suddenly hugged Obi-Wan on the spur of the moment. Obi-Wan hugged her back. Tahl hugged Qui-Gon... etc.

"Ummm... am I included in this hug war?" asked Anakin, looking at the ground.

Yaddle hugged Yoda, and Yoda turned pink. As if he wasn't already…

"YES!!!" proclaimed Jandalf.

Yaddle giggled at Yoda.

Anakin looked at Tiana nervously. "Do I HAVE to?"

Jandalf snickered/giggled.

"She likes choking me," Anakin added, by way of an explanation.

"Padawan, do not choke your fiancé," ordered Jandalf.

Yoda looked in a mirror. "TURNED PINK, I AM!!!!"

"It's not very nice," Jandalf added.

"EEEHHHHEEHEHEHEHEHEHEHHEHE!!!!!" Yaddle giggled.

Tiana pouted. "Awwwwww... fine!" She hugged Anakin.

"Look like cotton candy, you do!" said Yaddle.

Anakin stopped; stared at Tiana. "Hey... she's not choking me... cool..."

Yoda grinned. "Exactly, dear, and love it, I do!" He hugged Yaddle again.

Jandalf hugged Obi-Wan again for good measure, and Tiana made random faces while Yoda's back was turned. Padmé tried to hug Boba, but, sadly, the armor got in her way. "Drat."

Jandalf sighed. "Boba, do you ALWAYS have to wear that thing?"

"Yes."

"Even for the most special day of your life?"

Boba started crying. "I have a weird face!" he lamented. "THAT'S WHY I WEAR THIS!!!"

Obi-Wan snrked, and Jandalf added, "Actually, it probably looks better than your dad's..." Obi-Wan snrked again.

Boba admitted to this, and disappeared to return with a paper bag over his head. "Better?"

"You wer actually pretty cute as a kid, you know," Obi-Wan added.

"I'm not a kid anymore," Boba pointed out, adjusting his paper bag.

Padmé squealed like a love-struck teenager, which fit, being as she WAS a love-struck teenager. "HE'S SO CUTE!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Well, except for that glare you kept giving me," Obi-Wan amended.

"DON'T INSULT HIM! HE'S CUTE!" Padmé screeched.

"Sorry."

"You'd better be!" She hugged Boba, and glared at Obi-Wan.

"I am! Quit looking at me like that!"

"Oh... sorry."

Obi-Wan shrugged. "'sokay."

Qui-Gon hugged Tahl randomly to get his mind off the chaos.

Tahl sighed. "Awwww..." She hugged him back.

Qui-Gon annouced, "Yay!"

Jandalf and Qui-Gon giggled pointlessly, and hugged the appropriate characters they were matched to.

"Wait!" Anakin jumped up on top of a table, and slipped on the random ice cream sundae that was split on it. "Ow... anyhow... where's the pastor?" he asked.

Jandalf stopped. "Ummmm..."

"Master?" asked Tiana.

Jandalf snapped her fingers. "CHEWIE!!!!!!!!! Where is he?"

"I don't know!" Tiana replied.

"CHEWIE!!!!" Jandalf hollered. "WE NEED YOU TO MINISTER!!!!!!"

"I LOVE ANAKIN!!!" Tiana yelled, pointlessly.

"Uurrrr?" asked Chewie.

Tiana rolled her eyes. "Where's Threepio?"

[Okay, we'll start as soon as everyone's properly dressed,] Chewie said.

Threepio popped out. "I am here, and am fluent in over six million..."

"SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!" Everyone but Tiana yelled, the latter of the mentioned was sulking. She liked Threepio.

"WHERE'S HAN??!!???!!!" demanded a newcomer-- a Jedi Master. Nameingly, Audreidi.

Han appeared in a loud kavamm. "I'm here!"

"I NEED TO MARRY HAN... oh..." She hugged Han.

"Hi, princess... wait... you aren't Leia..."

Tahl sighed. "Okay, make that a sixsome wedding."

"You can have Jacen," Han said to Audreidi.

"But I'm a princess... NO!!! I WANT YOU!!!!!!"

"Well............................."

Leia scoffed. "Fat chance, nerf herder. I'm marrying Isolder!"

Audreidi made puppy-dog eyes at Han, looked very much like Anakin for a moment, though she would never've admitted that. ((Audreidi: WHAAAT?))

"SA-WEET!!!!!!" screeched Isolder.

"Okaaaaayyyyyy..." Tahl counted on her fingers. "Seven-some."

"Or maybe Will Turner..." Leia continued.

"Oh, fine, Jedi gal!" said Han. He hugged Audreidi. Audreidi hugged him back.

[What a big wedding!] barked Chewie. [WILL EVERYONE GET DRESSED, PLEASE?!!!!!!!!]

"Hey, furball, be quiet!" Han said.

"RRRRRRrrrrr...."

"I'm hugging a Jedi here!" Han finished.

"I'm hugging a smuggler here!" Audreidi added.

[We're trying to have a wedding here!!!] Chewie shot back.

"Well..." Han was speechless, but shrugged anyway. "Okay."

Jandalf suddenly jumped up. "ACK! WE NEED RINGS!!!!!"

"YES!!!" Audreidi added, sounding almost the same as Jandalf, which was logical enough, as they WERE, after all, twins. However, no one noted that little fact at the time.

"I have one," Anakin said.

"I've always wanted the ONE RING!!!" Tiana proclaimed.

Obi-Wan looked at her peculiarly. "Not the One Ring. Wedding Rings."

"Awwwww..." Anakin groaned.

"We need some, and fast!"

Tiana emptied her pockets. "I have a garlic ring, and a Kubasa ring..."

Obi-Wan snapped his fingers. "Contact the dwarf lords, and the Elf rulers..."

"...and a Candy Ring..." Tiana added.

"You…what? A candy ring?" asked Obi-Wan.

"Yeah, it's one of the Candies of Doom," Tiana replied, dryly.

"We're getting sidetracked," Jandalf pointed out.

In the meantime, while the three argued about wedding rings, Tahl, Qui-Gon, Anakin, and all the others got dressed into proper wedding clothes.

Tahl wandered back in in her wedding dress. "Good thing I run a jewelers store on the side."

Anakin pointed out that he could rob the counsel's treasury…however, Yoda glared at him so fiercely he shut up.

Tahl tossed random rings up into the air. "IF YOU LIKE IT, KEEP IT!" she announced.

Yoda juggled the rings randomly.

Tiana grabbed a gold, shiny one. "My preciousssssssssssss..."

"Padawan..."

"What?"

"No 'preciouses' today, Padawan."

Qui-Gon grabbed many rings. "One for you, one for me..."

Jandalf giggled, and grabbed a ring.

"I have many rings in my pocket," Han commented.

"Awwwwwww..." said Tiana, to the above comment of Jandalf's.

"You didn't steal them, did you?" asked Audreidi.

"Ummm... no?"

"Akk! I'm turning into a Skywalker already!!!!" Tiana screeched.

"Not the WHINING!!!!!" Jandalf lamented.

"Awww... akk!" Tiana covered her mouth quickly. "I'm turning Skywalker!!!!!"

Audreidi hugged Han. "You're not fooling anyone! YOU'RE THE GALAXY'S BEST SMUGGLER!!!!!"

Jandalf giggled.

Han bowed. "Well, thank you."

Threepio looked rather miffed. "What about me?"

TC-15 popped out. "Hiiii..."

The two droids walked off arm in arm. Jandalf made an odd face. "Oyness."

"WHAT ABOUT A CAKE?!?!?" Tiana demanded, forgetting her Skywalker troubles for the time.

"It's getting late," Qui-Gon commented. "What was that about moonlight?"

"Umm... oh... cake... heh heh... nothing..."

Tiana proclaimed, as she lept up onto a table top, "I'll bake one!!!!!" And then she fell. "Ow." She reached through a random window, and pulled a very large chocolate cake out.

"YAY!!! WE HAVE A CAKE!!!! Now we must have a wedding!" Jandalf said, quickly kavamming herself into a NOT orange wedding gown. Tiana, likewise, put an Éowyn Shieldmaiden dress on overtop of her Padawan clothes. Obi-Wan followed suit. ((heh heh)) He put his SUIT on... get it...? Ah, forget about it.

"Okay... let's get started then," Audreidi said.

Tiana was confused, and said so in plain Entish. Sadly, no one understood Entish, and she was taking too long to say it, so Anakin hit her, and she repeated it in English. "One couple at a time, then?" she asked. "Auddie and Han first?"

"I'm FIRST!" whooped Han. The two stepped up the random altar that appeared there.

"Where that altar came from, I do not know," stated Yoda.

"Me neither," Yaddle replied. However, the two were quickly quieted by Chewie.

[Okay... do you take this Jedi to be your lawful wedded wife, Han?]

Han jumped up and down. "YES, YES!!! AND YES!!!!!"

"Confused, I am," whispered Yoda.

Chewie rolled his eyes. [Okay, good. And do you, Audreidi, take this smuggler as your lawful wedded husband?]

There was a moment of silence from Han.

"YESSS!!!!" screeched Audreidi. "Even though he isn't exactly lawful..."

Of course, at the same time, Han asked, "Lawful? Oh well..."

"Never mind that, hun."

"Okay, hun." Han hugged her.

[I now pronounce you Jedi and Smuggl... errr... I mean husband and wife. You may kiss the bride.]

Han pulled out a ring. "Here's your ring, princess, and... well..."

Audreidi found a ring and handed it to Han.

"A ring," Tiana said.

"A Hobbit," said the Narrator.

Han and Audreidi kissed, and gave each other rings.

"Oh... okay... shiny..." Han said.

"GET ON WITH IT!!!!!!" Jandalf screamed.

[NEXT!] hollered Chewie.

"C'mon, let's go to the reception," Audreidi said, pulling off Han, who was staring at the shiny gold ring.

"Okay..."

The two walked off.

"Next, we must be," said Yoda.

Chewie sighed, and looked at Yoda. [Do you?] The Wookiee had to refrain from laughing at the sight of such a short Jedi Master in a bow tie looking WAAAAYYYYYY up at him.

"Cute, you are..." Yoda commented to Yaddle. "And yes, marry her, I do."

Chewie looked over at Yaddle. [And do you?]

"Cute are you too! YES!"

"Give Yaddle ring, I must, but part with it, I cannot..."

Yaddle handed Yoda a ring. "Oh, c'mon..."

Yoda handed the ring over to her slowly.

[I now pronounce you husband and wife. You can kiss the bride.]

"Mmmmmyyyy... precioussssss..." Yoda and Yaddle kissed, all the while Yaddle giggled.

[NEXT!!!!!!!] shouted Chewie, as Yaddle and Yoda walked off behind Audreidi and Han.

"ME!!!!!" screamed Padmé.

[Okay, come on up, whoever,] Chewie said. He looked at Padmé. [Do you?]

Boba followed her grudgingly. "How do I kiss her with a bag over my head?"

"Yes," Padmé answered. "And that's it... can I kiss him now?"

Jandalf sighed, and looked at Boba, glaring. "Figure something out... TAKE IT OFF!!!!"

"But... but..."

Chewie glared at the bounty hunter. [Do you?]

"Oh well..." Boba sighed. "Yes, I do." He took the bag off.

[Good. Kiss her. You're married.]

They kissed. "Great, let's go and eat," said Boba.

"Okay!" Padmé waved at everyone. "Bye!"

[NEXT!!!!!] called Chewie.

Leia walked up. "I DEMAND YOU MARRY ME NOW!!!!"

Isolder ran up behind her. "Wait for me, hun!!!!"

Chewie looked at her, confused. [Me?]

Leai glared. "You know what I meant, rug!"

Chewie sighed. [Do you?]

"YES!!!" announed Leia, loudly.

[And do you?] He looked at Isolder.

Isolder was happy to agree. They both gave each other rings.

[Okay, great, kiss, you guys are married.]

Isolder and Leia kissed, and then Leia grinned. "And now you'll have to live by all my rules..."

Isolder turned pale. "Like what...?"

"You'll see, luv..."

[NEEEEXXXXXTTTTTT!!!!!!!!] bellowed Chewie, shoving Isolder and Leia off the stage.

"C'mon," said Qui-Gon, taking Tahl's arm.

"Okay," replied Tahl.

Tiana began quoting off the Princess Bride, until she was hit over the head.

"I LOVE YOU, TAHL!!!" Qui-Gon announced.

[Do you?] asked Qui-Gon.

Qui-Gon nodded, and Tahl screeched back, "I LOVE YOU TOO!!!!"

[And do you?] Chewie asked Tahl.

"YES!!!!!"

The two smooched for a while, and Anakin covered his eyes.

They gave each other rings. And then Qui-Gon thought of something. "Ummm... bad moonlight..."

"Forget about it, hun," said Tahl. They kissed again.

[NEEEEXXXXTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!] screamed Chewie.

Both Tahl and Qui-Gon left to follow the others.

Jandalf pushed Tiana, who was still mumbling scenes from the Princess Bride, nameingly the wedding. "Go on up, Padawawn."

"Okay..." she stopped going on an on with annoying lines. "C'mon, Ani."

Anakin followed her, though the two were following through quite grudgingly.

Chewie looked at Tiana. [Do you?]

Tiana hesitated. "Ummm... yeah... I suppose so." She fingered her ring.

He looked at Anakin. [Do you?]

"Yep!" announced Ani. "I have to!"

[Cool then. Kiss up. You're married!]

In sync, Tiana and Anakin screamed, "EWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!! WE HAVE TO KISS?!?!?!?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Chewie sighed. [Adolescents.]

"Let's just go and eat the cake!" Tiana and Anakin said.

[It's part of the pact,] Chewie ordered. [I thought you LOVED each other.]

"Weeeeellll.... yeah.... but...."

Chewie glared at the two.

"Okay, FINE!" Anakin huffed. Tiana and Anakin kissed for about .00000005 seconds, and then glared at Chewie.

He glared at them again.

"FINE!"

Anakin and Tiana kissed for a little longer.

"There, now I can eat!" they both proclaimed.

[Much better,] Chewie said. [NEEEEXXXTTTTT!!!!!]

"Who's left?" asked Jandalf.

In the meantime, Anakin and Tiana rinsed their mouths out.

"You are, master," Tiana pointed out.

Anakin giggled.

"Wow, that was fast," Jandalf said. "Okay."

[Do you?] asked Chewie.

"YOU BET!!!!" Jandalf shouted.

Tiana gargled with Scope.

Chewie looked at Obi-Wan. [And do you?]

Anakin also gargled with Scope.

Obi-Wan ignored the gargling going on in the background. "YES!!!!!"

[Okay, kiss. You're married.]

"She has cooties..." Anakin muttered.

Jandalf and Obi-Wan kissed for a very long time.

"Boy germs," muttered Tiana.

Jandalf and Obi-Wan continued to kiss.

"I can't believe I did that," Anakin said.

Jandalf and Obi-Wan kissed more.

"Neither can I," Tiana answered.

Anakin hid his eyes.

Tiana did too. "MASTER, GET A ROOM!!!!"

"Okay, okay, we're done!" Jandalf said, glaring at the two Padawans who couldn't see the glare anyhow, being as they were both covering their eyes.

Tiana relaxed. "Whew. Now let's find some cake!"

"Yeah, let's go!" said Anakin.

And all the now happily (?) married couples wandered off to go and find some food to eat. I'd like to say that they lived happily ever after-- and hey, some of them did! Isolder and Leia happily ruled Hapes for a long, long time-- Padmé and Boba had fun killing random things, and became reall, really rich. Qui-Gon and Tahl loved each other, and were very happy to finally be married... however, the last three, Audreidi and Han, Jandalf and Obi-Wan, and Tiana and Anakin...? Well... they were a different story all together. They were not fated to live 'happily ever after', in fact, they didn't even get a decent honeymoon-- fate was not for them.

To find out what happens to them later, keep watch for the Lord of the Garlic! Coming soon, we HOPE, to a fanfiction forum near you!

Yeah, that's really it!

THE END!

Or should we say: The BEGINNING! We're nowhere near done... I have yet to see the Spawn of Jandalf and Obi-Wan appear... snicker.

And thus passes the tale of the Paint Wars-- the saga that was merely the BEGINNING!!!

(Credits scroll up over screen)

Jandalf: The spawn of WHO??? (faints)

Obi-Wan: (faints likewise)

Narrator: (snicker)