Naruto Primer Lost Chapter: Temari

The Way to Go

I think we tried to write a Temari chapter on at least THREE different occasions, along with a Kankuro chapter, in both the Lost Chapters AND the Original Naruto Primer. It just can't be done!! So that's why you must excuse the stupidity of this chapter.

You have to wonder what in the entire world would possess someone to make them think; "I've got it!! The most perfect fighting style EVER! …A GIANT FAN!!"

Surely there's something psychological going on in Temari's head that made her finally decide on a fan.

It could have been because her brothers both carried enormous things on their backs. Gaara had his giant gourd and Kankuro had his puppet. Maybe Temari was feeling jealous because they were always saying things like, "Temari, we're cooler because we carry huge and heavy things around all the time. You can't be in our club. No girls allowed."

Or it could have been Temari legitimately felt like the fan would be the coolest and most intimidating thing EVER. Especially with those purple dots. I can see why she'd think that the fan was the way to go.

But you know what? Those giant fans can get pretty difficult to maintain. Sometimes, after a particularly rough battle, the fan cannot be repaired and it is necessary for Temari to order a new one. Of course, ordering and sending away for a giant fan is not the hard part. The hard part is coming home every day and asking about the whereabouts of the mail.

It had been approximately eight weeks since the last time she sent away for a fan. She didn't need one immediately since her current fan was still intact, but she didn't want to be stuck waiting eight weeks for her new fan to come if she didn't have a current one. She always liked to have at least two back-ups just in case. So, even though it wasn't imperative that she had the fan right way, she would still like it.

Unfortunately, Kankuro and Gaara were usually home before she was so they were the ones to get the mail. This meant that she had to get the mail from them, which could sometimes be a challenge. A very ANNOYING challenge that she preferred not to confront unless it she absolutely had to.

"GUYS!" Temari yelled, coming in the door. She went in the other room where Kankuro and Gaara were coloring. "Kankuro, Gaara, did the mail come today?"

"Oh yeah, the mail came all right." Said Kankuro as Gaara slapped him five.

"Uh…" said Temari, wondering why he had slapped him five. "Did my package come by any chance?"

"Temari, the mail is no place to get a package." Said Kankuro. "Oh!"

He slapped Gaara five again.

"Is that supposed to be some really pathetic sexual joke?" Temari asked. "Because it wasn't very funny."

"You should know what isn't funny." Said Kankuro as he, once again, slapped Gaara five.

"That doesn't even make sense!!" Temari said, getting slightly offended. But then she took a deep breath. "Did my fan come today? Yes or no."

"Yeah, it's right over there." Kankuro said, pointing to the fan in the corner of the room.

"Thank you." Said Temari with a sigh as she took the fan upstairs in her room so she could personalize with the intimidating purple dots.