Disclaimer: Everything belongs to the amazing J.K. Rowling. I own nothing but the plot.

A/N: I know nobody wants to hear my sob story about not updating, let's just leave it at the fact that I've been lazy lately. Sorry. But, I'll have you know, this is a hell of a lot longer than last chapter, which should make you all happy. Thank you sooo much for the reviews, I'm glad people made time to read my story in the midst of OotP. Hehe, enjoy and PLEASE REVIEW!!


The Pain Within
Chapter 10: A Solution


Over the course of the next week Severus Snape rarely had time to seek Draco out for a private chat. He was engaged in grading third year four foot long essays on the properties of wormwood and attending secret meetings of the Order of the Phoenix. Even though the Ministry was finally aware of Voldemort's return, the Order continued to meet in order to discuss additional safety precautions and tactics. Just what Severus needed; spending his evenings with a bunch of Gryffindors. Moody and Tonks were the only Aurors who seemed able to make time to come. And to make matters worse, Dumbledore allowed Severus's favorite trio to attend certain meetings. Bloody Potter and his stupid scar, he thought bitterly while grading a particularly terrible Hufflepuff's essay. Sighing, he marked it with a big red F and picked up another.

Halfway through the second week of November, Severus finally finished the ruddy essays while one of his sixth year classes was brewing Memory Potions. The effects were similar to those of a Memory Charm except he gave them the recipe for a temporary potion. That's all Hogwarts would need - Lockhart situations popping up all over the school.

After putting the parchments away in one of his desk drawers he stood to stroll around the room and observe the potions. It was an easy process: insult the Gryffindors' and praise and encourage the Slytherins. It wasn't that the Slytherins were particularly excellent potion makers - they weren't, except for Draco and occasionally Blaise. And it wasn't that the Gryffindors were all terrible potion makers - they weren't, except for Longbottom. It was just that he favored his house over the Gryffindors, who, of course, thought he was unfair. Tough. The Slytherins were prejudiced against in every other class and Snape was only providing them with one where they weren't.

Finnigan, Thomas, that potion is too blue for my liking. It should be more green. You have added an incorrect amount of jobberknoll feathers.

The two boys glared at the greasy haired man's back as he leaned over Lavender and Parvati's potion and told them their potion was too yellow. He scrutinized Hermione and Neville's, trying desperately to find faults. In the end, he walked towards Ron and Harry's cauldron.

Ten points, Granger, for no evidence that Longbottom had any hand in the brewing of the potion.

Draco smirked as Granger sputtered indignantly and Longbottom attempted to calm her down. Snape meanwhile was criticizing Weasley and Potter's potion.

...two many beetle eyes...your porcupine quills were obviously too long...this color quite disgusts me, doesn't resemble green in any way...

Draco almost laughed out loud at the expressions on the stupid Gryffindor's faces. Weasel was about to pop a vein and Potter kept shooting dirty glares at Snape. Very foolish considering their grades rested in Snape's hands. But they were righteous Gryffindors; what else would one expect?

Shaking his head, he continued brewing his potion. He thought temporary memory potions were not one of Professor Snape's finer assignments. What was the point in forgetting everything for only a few minutes? He wanted to be able to forget his entire life forever. Perhaps then he would be happy. He had to admit though, his nightly visits to that mirror made him feel happy to the point of delirium. After the first night, he had trekked back to the mirror to watch the scenes of his father and himself. He hadn't been able to get enough of them. Once he had burned the images into his brain, he kept returning for the giddy content he felt when watching. He wanted nothing more than to escape and live in that mirror world where life was perfect. His nightly visits had steadily increased in length and he now spent around four hours sitting on the cold stone floor staring into the glass each night. When he somehow managed to tear himself away from the hypnosis of the mirror he seemingly floated back down to his dormitory and fell asleep, the images from the mirror dancing through his dreams. And that wasn't all. Because of the extent of exposure to this newfound addiction, Draco often lost himself in the images during the day.

Like right now. He felt the excitement of playing the chess game...the delight that his father took time to play with him...

Mr. Malfoy.

The thrill of knowing he was about to win...the luck that his father loved him enough to let him win...

Mr. Malfoy.

The fact that his father did love him, and how it showed in his eyes, in his smile, in his actions...



The blond snapped back to reality to find the entire glass staring at him and Professor Snape standing in front of his and Blaise's cauldron.

Uh, yes sir?

The Potions Master peered at him. Your daisy roots are too thick. Slice them thinner and your potion will be perfect. Good job with those newts eyes Mr. Zabini, he added, nodding at the finely chopped eyes on Blaise's desk.

I want a vial of each group's potion on my desk in twenty minutes, he announced to the class before beginning to grade their recently handed in essays on Memory Potions and their uses in the wizarding world.

Silence pervaded the room as both students and teacher did their work. Draco hastily sliced the daisy roots so he and Blaise would finished on time. Meanwhile, unbeknownst to him, a pair of eyes observed him, trying to figure out what had just happened; piecing together what little information was known. Frowning thoughtfully, the owner resumed his work.

Snape marked Gregory Goyle's essay with a C+ and reached for the next one. Draco Malfoy was sprawled neatly across the top. He lifted his head to look at the blond. What exactly had that little episode before been about? It was as if the boy had become deaf. He had been gazing unseeingly at the daisy roots he was slicing, the movements becoming sloppier as he fell deeper into his daze. If Draco hadn't finally realized that he was being spoken to, Severus feared he might have chopped off a finger. It was necessary to speak to him before the boy was drowning in his own bitterness and misery. Before Draco ended up like him.

Mr. Malfoy?

Draco glanced up from stirring. Yes Professor?

What class do you have next period?

Transfiguration, sir.

Snape smirked. Perfect. Send a message with a classmate that you will be late. I need to speak with you about your grade.

Draco nodded slowly, somewhat puzzled. Yes, sir.


When the bell rang the students hurriedly filed out of the room, glad to be done with Potions. Draco told Pansy to pass his message on to McGonagall (for she was more reliable than either Crabbe or Goyle) and then lingered in the Potions lab while Snape gathered the essays together. Once he had all the essays, he stepped down from his desk and walked toward his office, which was a small room located in the back of that classroom.

Come, Mr. Malfoy, and close the door behind you.

Draco followed, slightly confused. His potions grade was always high. What could possibly be wrong? He hoped it wasn't too terrible; his father would be livid if his Potions grade wasn't up to par. Snape locked the essays in the wooden desk that stood in the center of the room.

Please, sit down Draco.

Draco sat down in one of the two chairs that were placed in front of the desk. His professor lit a fire in the fireplace with a flick of his wand. Draco was even more bewildered; his teacher asked to speak about his grade, and acted like they were sitting down for a chat between long lost friends. Never the patient one, Draco jumped right to the point.

Professor Snape, about my grade sir, I wasn't aware that I wasn't doing well. Was it my Memory Potion essay? I'll admit, it wasn't my best work, but -

Your grade is fine, Snape told him as he settled himself behind his desk.

Oh. What is it then? His eyes narrowed and he scowled. McGonagall hasn't been feeding you stories that I've been bothering her precious three musketeers again, has she?

It's Professor McGonagall to you, and no, she hasn't lately, Snape smirked.

Well, what is it then? he asked.

Snape crossed his arms and rested them on the desk. Draco, did you want to become a Death Eater?

Draco blinked, he had definitely not been expecting that. Snape, according to his father, was one of Voldemort's highly trusted and useful followers since he was at school with Potter and Dumbledore. Just bloody great, he thought, a check on my loyalty while I'm at school. Clearing his throat, he answered.

Of course.

Snape raised an eyebrow.

Draco nodded lazily.

Because I seem to recall hearing you say to your mother that the Dark Mark repulsed you and you cut your arm so you couldn't see it.

Panic, along with anger, began to creep into Draco's bones. Yes, well, I was speaking to my mother. You should not have been listening to our conversation, he said defensively. He had forgotten Snape had heard that. Would he have snitched to the Dark Lord?

Snape leaned back into his chair, smirking in satisfaction at riling up the boy's emotions. He was so much easier to read that way. True, but I did. Care to tell the truth?

He stared at the boy to put pressure on him, awaiting an answer. He didn't understand why Draco was being so stubborn. He watched the teen nervously dart his eyes back and forth between his left arm and his face. Of course!

Snape couldn't help but let out a wry chuckle, which greatly alarmed Draco. Draco, the Dark Lord is not ordering me to ask you this. I do not plan on spilling your true feelings at the next Death Eater meeting.

Draco visibly relaxed. His eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Um, why? They would love to get their hands on that juicy information and then kill me after torturing me mercilessly.

Because I'm a spy. Snape paused. For the Light.

Draco's blue eyes bulged out of his head as he began to stutter. W-what?!? How? He - he doesn't know?

If the Dark Lord knew, I wouldn't be here. I decided I had made a mistake and instead of regretting it, I turned it around into something positive.

Whoa, either he is really dense, or you are really good, Draco said, amazed. But sir, he looked up curiously at Severus, what does this have to do with me?

Severus took a deep breath. Here goes nothing.

Well, it's obvious you weren't initiated by choice. It's obvious you despise your father. It's obvious you are desperate for a way out of what you think is a doomed life. Correct?

Draco nodded and averted his gaze toward the fire.

And it's bloody damn obvious there aren't enough spies for the Light.

Draco's head shot up, his eyes wide with shock. Are - are you asking me to be a - spy? he asked incredulously.

Severus nodded solemnly. Your mother will not like it, and I don't even know if Professor Dumbledore will approve. But if you are willing enough, we may be able to convince them. He watched as the boy mulled over the idea. Well, I do not need an immediate answer, as I expect you will want time to -

I'll do it.

Severus raised an eyebrow. Are you positive Draco? It is quite dangerous. There is a very high risk of getting caught. One slip will do you in. You understand, don't you?

The blond nodded his head impatiently. Yes. But I don't care.

The black haired man across from him sighed. Very well, he said while writing the teen a pass for McGonagall. Meet me in Professor Dumbledore's office tonight at 8:00. If anyone asks where you are going, tell them I'm asking his permission to give you private Advanced Potions lessons.

Draco nodded as he took the slip of paper. Thank you sir. For this opportunity.



Eight o'clock couldn't come quick enough for Draco. When it finally rolled around he was comfortably seated in one of the plush chairs in the headmaster's office eagerly awaiting the arrival of his mother's head in the fireplace. He knew the conversation wouldn't be spied on at Malfoy Manor because his father was off on a business trip' in Germany, so his mother was safe. The portraits of past headmasters and headmistresses whispered to one another. Draco heard a few comments about the terrible Malfoys certain ones had had to deal with in their days but just ignored them. Professor Snape paced back and forth in front of the fire and Professor Dumbledore watched both from behind his half moon spectacles, blue eyes twinkling in anticipation about the announcement the two wanted to make. (Being Dumbledore, he probably already had a very good idea of what it was) Finally after five more minutes, and Draco's third refusal of a lemon drop, Narcissa Malfoy's head popped through the flames.

Severus, Headmaster! she called out, not seeing her son as he was obscured by Snape's looming figure. How may I help you? she asked and then thinking of her son, panicked and added, Is something wrong? Is it Draco?

Dumbledore chuckled. Good evening, Narcissa. No, do not worry; everything is fine. Severus and Draco here want to tell us something.



Snape moved and Narcissa smiled at the sight of her son.

Hi Mum.

Hello, sweetheart. Now what's this you want to tell us? she asked looking between Severus and Draco.

Severus said, clearing his throat. Well, Narcissa, I promised I would help you and your son, and I think I have found a solution. Granted, you are not going to like it and, I am not sure you will approve either, sir - he said turning to Dumbledore, - but I have explained to -

I want to be a spy, Draco interjected. Snape frowned at the interruption.

Narcissa's eyes widened in horror and Dumbledore nodded thoughtfully, neither surprised nor objectionable.

Severus, no! It's one thing for you, a 37 year-old adult, to partake in such activities, but he is a 16 year-old boy for Merlin's sake! I do not appreciate you putting such ideas in my son's head. I -

I did not put the idea in his head, I merely suggested it as an option.

As an option. Meaning there must be another way, she said furiously.

Severus sighed and leaned against the mantle above the fireplace. I have thought of many others, but there are sizable objections to each one, Narcissa. Honestly, I've thought through them all, he said softly.

Her face softened as she realized how much extra effort he was making to help. I know you have, Severus, and for that I am grateful. But, I can only imagine what you must go through; it's so dangerous and risky and... she trailed off wearily, shaking her head.

If I may say something, Dumbledore interrupted the conversation gently as he glanced at Draco's somber form. Narcissa and Severus looked up at him; Draco stared at the floor.

Draco is one of the brightest wizards in his year and I'm certain that he understands what is at stake, he said. Draco lifted his head and nodded gravely at the wizard.

And I am quite positive he is able to make his own decisions, Dumbledore continued, staring Draco in the eye. Draco stared back, trying hard not to gasp. The man had hit the jackpot. Draco nodded vigorously. He was able to make his own decisions even if his bastard of a father didn't let him.

Whatever he chooses to do, I will support his decision one hundred percent and help in whatever way I can. I hope you two will trust his judgment and do the same.

It's not that I don't trust him, Headmaster, I just want what's best for him, Narcissa stated.

Before Dumbledore could reply, Draco rose out of his seat and kneeled in front of the fire.

It is what's best for me, Mom, he insisted. It's the only way I might have a future, he said quietly, looking down at his hands while Narcissa closed her eyes and put her forehead in her hand.

Narcissa, I would not have suggested it if I did not think him capable or intelligent enough to withstand the dangers, Severus told her.

I know, she whispered. And I believe you would do perfectly fine, Draco. He looked up at her hopefully. It's just, I worry about you enough as it is, and with added dangers, I would worry myself sick. I would be beside myself if anything happened to you, honey. And, and, she looked up at him as a tear slid down her cheek, you must promise me, Draco Lawrence Malfoy, you will be extremely careful and mindful of what you say and hear.

Draco nodded. I promise Mum.

she continued shakily, if you somehow let something slip, or suspect that someone besides us knows, you must get yourself as far away from the Manor as possible. No crap about not wanting to leave me, or that you'll be fine - you WILL leave and go somewhere safe, you hear me?

Yes Mum, Draco told her.

He will come here should anything that puts him in danger occur, Dumbledore said simply.

Narcissa nodded. Thank you, sir. I guess I should be going then, she said sniffling. Draco, heed my words, alright?

Yes Mum, I promise I will.

And Severus, do watch over him for me? And inform him of everything he needs to know?

Severus smiled grimly. Of course, Narcissa. You didn't even have to ask.

Thank you. Good night Headmaster, Severus. I love you Draco.

Love you too, Mum.

Good night, Narcissa, and please, try not to worry too much, Dumbledore told her, smiling sadly. He is in good hands.

I know, she said softly before disappearing from the fireplace.

Draco watched as the flames died down to nothing and then stood up. Dumbledore gently placed a comforting hand on his shoulder.

You have made the correct decision Draco, and we are extremely proud of you. Difficult times lie ahead, but always know that myself and my colleagues will protect you in every way possible. You are doing a truly good deed.

Draco looked up at him and Professor Snape, astonished that someone - two someones - other than his mother were proud of him. He slowly smiled and said Thank you, sir.

Dumbledore returned the smile. My pleasure, Draco. Please sit down, I need to explain something to you, he said, gaining an air of seriousness. He and Draco took seats at his desk and Professor Snape remained standing.

Unbeknownst to the Ministry, myself and a group of loyal trustworthy friends reformed what is known as the Order of the Phoenix. I say reformed because it was originally formed during the existence of Voldemort's last reign of terror. It is a defensive organization; an anti-Voldemort league you could say, he stated whilst readjusting his glasses as Draco listened intently. Although the Ministry has set up its own precautions, we still continue this group as an added measure. We have certain information that we do not want the Ministry to have should it land in the wrong hands, and we use this information to our advantage. Many of our original members have since left us and though they were invaluable to us, both as people and members, we have an excellent group on our hands, including Professor Snape here.

Draco looked up at Snape who just nodded in confirmation.

Now, you are not old enough to join the Order yourself, but I would like you to meet its members. I allow Mr. Potter, Mr. Weasley, and Miss Granger to attend certain meetings during which little Order business is discussed and more defensive tactics are. You will also be allowed at these meetings, and possibly certain others. The Order will be the only ones who know of your secret service to the Light. We have a scheduled meeting for tomorrow evening and I can introduce you to everyone then.

Draco grimaced at having to work with Potter, Weasley, and Granger, but noted with satisfaction that he might get to attend more meetings than they.

Draco, meet in my office at 9:00 tomorrow, and I will escort you to the meeting from there, Snape told him. Draco nodded again.

Perfect. Any questions, Draco? Dumbledore asked genially.

No, none that I can think of at the moment, Draco said.

Dumbledore smiled. Alright then. You better get to bed, it's quite late. Severus, I'd like a word with you.

Draco stood. Okay. Thank you. I won't let you down. I want to help in whatever way I can. He felt a surge of rebellion wash through him. He wanted to do whatever would piss his father off the most; whatever would bring about his downfall.

I know, Draco, Dumbledore said and as Draco neared the door called, Mr. Malfoy? Draco turned. I'm sure this should go unsaid, but all that you have been told tonight is to be kept a secret.

Draco nodded. Of course. Good night, Professors.

As he exited the spiral staircase, all the new information he had gained swam through his head. So lost in his thoughts was he that he didn't realize where his feet carried him until he was in front of the familiar door in the Third Floor Corridor. Blinking, he unlocked the door and entered inside. He took up his position in front of the mirror and all thoughts were pushed out of his head as the images and longing for that other life flowed through his body. The images and scenes flew by so many times that he again fell into a daze, except it was much deeper than anything he had ever experienced. Every fiber of his being ached for that life, for the family perfection he saw in the mirror. He was so enraptured in his daze, his thoughts, and his feelings that he once more felt like he was floating because of pure delirium.

Except he wasn't. Floating by pure delirium that is. Draco was, however, actually floating. What the hell? He blinked as he realized he was down in the dungeons. He looked around wildly as his body slowly descended and his feet touched the ground. In his frantic search, he swore he saw a slight shimmer to his right but chalked it up to his imagination and lack of sleep. When he finally gave up on figuring out how he arrived there, he resolved to just head on up to bed and forget about it for now, even though it really creeped him out. As he walked toward the entrance to the Slytherin Common Room, he felt a cool breeze brush past him. He froze, cautiously peering around the corridor, before shaking his head. Was he kidding himself? There were always drafts down here - these were the dungeons for Pete's sake! He decided he better get to bed quickly before his overactive imagination flared up again.




~*~*~

**Coming either July 11th or 12th: Draco meets the Order...finds out what exactly that mirror does...and a scene from first year replays itself, except with different results...**

Got your curiosity, don't it?? That was the point :) Okay, well, a couple of chapters ago, I know there were a few people who wanted me to email them when I updated, but I forgot who you were, lol. So if you could just tell me again in a review, that would be great. If anyone else wants me to email about updates, just leave your email address, and I'll email you once Chapter 11 is up. Okie dokes?!?