Naruto Primer Lost Chapter: All

Look Nice and Behave

We got this request from Rashaka that essentially asked us to make it so everyone had to look nice and behave. At first we were like, "OH YEAH! THEY COULD…!!" And sort of trailed off at that point. Hopefully, these chapters are portrayed realistically.

"As all of you know, today is the Hokage's birthday." Said Asuma as he and the other teachers paced in front of the collective number of eleven genin students and one chuunin.

"Which means there's going to be a grand party tonight that all of Konoha is expected to attend, including the lot of you." Said Kakashi.

"It will be very formal, very black tie." Said Gai.

"Which essentially means that you all must look nice and behave!" Kurenai finished off.

"Now don't make us turn this into a competition by trying to determine who will look the best…" said Asuma.

"Work together with your teammates to help yourselves look good with helpful advice from the more stylish members of your team." Kakashi said.

"Meet back here at seven o'clock." Said Kurenai.

"And if you're not pretty then you will be punished severely!" said Gai.

Then the four of them ran off.

"If they REALLY cared then they would come with us to make sure we dressed up nice." Said Kiba.

The four teams split up to do their dressing up.

"Well, I think I'm ALREADY nice looking enough so let's help Shino since he looks like something crawled onto his head and died!" said Kiba.

"Kiba, I personally think you are in dire need of a shower." Said Shino.

"WHAT?!" demanded Kiba as if he had said nothing to bring that on.

"Let's just start with Shino and then we'll do you to, okay Kiba?" said Hinata.

"Okay!" said Kiba, giving Hinata the thumbs up.

The three of them frolicked off to Shino's house.

"First, you have to take off that jacket." Said Kiba to Shino.

Shino sighed and unbuttoned his jacket. Slowly, he removed it and about a billion bugs fell from it.

"EW!!" exclaimed Kiba and Hinata as they both drew back from all the bugs and nasty stuff.

"Sorry." Said Shino.

"That's really scary." Said Hinata.

"And disgusting." Kiba added.

When all the bugs had scurried off, the two people who were not Shino could finally get closer again.

"What do you think, Hinata?" asked Kiba. "About his clothes, I mean."

"Uh…" Hinata said quietly.

"Come on, Hinata, you have to give us your opinion!" said Kiba. "You're the girl here! Whether or not Shino is punished for looking stupid depends on you!"

"Well…" Hinata said. "He can't just wear that white t-shirt and gray pants! I think we should get him new clothes."

"What kind of clothes?" asked Kiba. "I mean, what kind of clothes do girls like? I mean, girls like Sasuke, right? Let's dress him up like Sasuke!"

"Personally, I find Sasuke's sense of style rather appalling for someone who has so many girls chasing after him." Said Shino.

"You're one to talk." Said Kiba.

Shino just kind of stood there. He couldn't disagree, but he wasn't about to agree.

MEANWHILE!!!

Sakura, Sasuke and Naruto decided to take care of Sasuke first since he would be the easiest. All Sasuke really had to do was change his clothes into something nice.

"Sasuke, what about your hair?" said Naruto.

"What about my hair?" Sasuke said.

"It's…weird." Naruto said finally. "It looks like…a bird's butt."

"It does NOT look like a bird's butt!!" screamed Sakura as she ran over to Naruto and punched him.

"I could have taken care of that." Said Sasuke to Sakura who was fuming.

"But he said your hair looked like a bird's butt!" whined Sakura.

"I was going to punch him." Sasuke said, looking annoyed.

Then Naruto came back from wherever he was punched to. "Okay, okay!" he said defensively. "From now on, I won't give my input and you'll just be punished for having stupid hair that looks like a bird's butt!"

Then it was Sasuke's turn to get up and punch Naruto. And that's what he did.

MEANWHILE!!!

"HURRAY!" cheered Ino. "I finally get to tell you guys my TRUE feelings about your fashion sense!"

"Or you could…not." Shikamaru suggested.

"Just for that, Shikamaru, we're going to give YOU a makeover FIRST!" Ino threatened.

"It's not a makeover, we're just putting on nice clothes." Shikamaru reminded her. "Besides, I'm just going to go like this. It's not like Asuma's going to punish ME."

"You have to at least put on long pants!" said Chouji.

"Fine, I'll do that." Said Shikamaru.

"What makes you think Asuma won't punish you?" Ino said, putting her hands on her hips.

"As long as I'm wearing my chuunin vest, Asuma will be happy." Shikamaru said.

"That's not fair." Said Ino.

"But you WANT to dress up, don't you?" Shikamaru said.

"Well yeah!" said Ino. "Okay! Me first!"

Ino then ran into her walk-in closet (since they were at her house and all) as Shikamaru and Chouji looked at each other and shrugged.

MEANWHILE!!!

"I'm going to wear my BEST tuxedo!!" said Lee as he pulled a bright green tuxedo with white polka dots out of his closet. Then he looked around and found the hugest and most flamboyant matching bowtie.

Tenten and Neji didn't really know how break it to Lee that that was the most retarded looking tuxedo they had ever seen.

"And, after I put the tuxedo on, I'm going to brush my teeth until it's time to go so my teeth will SHINE!" Lee announced.

"That sounds like a good idea, Lee." Said Tenten since she didn't want to hurt Lee's feelings.

Neji couldn't let it fly. "Lee…" he started. "Are you seriously going to wear that or is this another one of those horrible jokes that everyone is in on except for me?"

"Neji, what are you talking about?" Lee laughed. "This tuxedo is awesome!"

"Lee…" Neji tried again.

"What about you?" asked Lee. "If you don't have anything nice to wear, I could loan you some clothes! I just hope you're not going to wear that white life jacket you always wear."

Neji looked stupefied for a moment or two. Maybe even three. "How dare you." He said.

MEANWHILE!!!

"Let's see…what does Shino have in his closet?" said Kiba as he flung Shino's closet doors. A bunch of bugs exploded from it and crawled around the room.

"EW!!" yelled Hinata and Kiba as they jumped away.

"Sorry." Said Shino.

Once again, they had to wait for the bugs to leave before venturing back into the closet.

"All right…" said Kiba. "Hinata, what is the most appealing to you?"

"Er…" Hinata said as she shifted through the shirts on hangers. "Wow, Shino! You have a lot of really nice clothes! How come you never wear them?"

"Because I'm a ninja." Shino replied. "It would be ludicrous to wear nice clothes."

"He's got a point." Said Kiba.

"How about…this one?" Hinata said as she pulled out a collared, button down orange shirt with a dark blue stripe going across the front.

"Orange?" said Shino in the most offended tone ever.

"Yes…" Hinata said nervously.

"I think Hinata knows best!" said Kiba as he handed the shirt to Shino. "Do you have any nice pants, Shino?"

"In the drawer over there." Shino answered, pointing to his dresser on the other side of the room.

They stared at it.

"You can open that one." Said Kiba.

"All right." Said Shino as he opened up the drawer and a whole mess of bugs jumped out of it.

"EW!!" yelled Hinata and Kiba.

MEANWHILE!!!

"All right, we gave him a new shirt and took off his forehead protector!" said Sakura, pointing at Sasuke who was now wearing a shirt that didn't have an overwhelming collar. It actually looked exactly like his normal shirt just…without the collar.

"What else?" Naruto wondered.

The three were silent again.

"This is so dumb." Said Sasuke.

"How about some cologne?" suggested Naruto. "Does anybody have some cologne?"

"No…" said Sasuke and Sakura.

"All right, so it's my turn then!" said Naruto.

"Whatever." Said Sasuke, looking at his ninja watch. "But make it quick because we spent way too much time giving me a different shirt that we're running out of time for Sakura."

"Then let's do me first!" said Sakura. "Actually, I think I'm just going to go to my house and get ready. You guys can hang out."

"Now that I'm done, I'm just going to go home." Sasuke said.

"HEY!" yelled Naruto. "You guys have to help me! I have zero fashion sense! I don't want to get punished!!"

"Too bad, Naruto." Said Sasuke and Sakura as they ran out the door.

MEANWHILE!!!

"How long are we going to have to wait here?" Chouji asked Shikamaru.

Shikamaru stood up and knocked on Ino's closet door. "Ino!" he called. "Are you coming out anytime soon?"

"Give a girl some time!" Ino called from inside.

"We've given you plenty of time." Said Shikamaru.

"I'm trying to find my best dress!" Ino said.

"Why does that take as long as it's taking?" Shikamaru asked.

"It just DOES!" said Ino. "You wouldn't understand!"

"I guess not…" said Shikamaru with a shrug. He sat back down next to Chouji and shrugged.

"When are we going to make ourselves look nice?" Chouji wondered, referring to himself and Shikamaru.

"I guess at about 6:55, five minutes before it's time to meet the teachers." Shikamaru answered.

"Oh Shikamaru, don't say that!" said Chouji. "That would be AWFUL!"

"Don't worry, Chouji." Said Shikamaru. "It won't be as terrible as you're making it out to be."

MEANWHILE!!!

"I look AWESOME!" said Lee as he followed Tenten and Neji to the world of the Hyuugas because it was time for NEJI to look pretty!

"Yeah Lee…" said Tenten, trying to avoid eye contact. Or at least eye contact between her eyes and Lee's outfit. His bowtie was so large that it was covering half his face.

Neji pulled out a white long-sleeved shirt and a pair of black pants from his closet.

"You're going to wear THAT?!" Lee gasped.

"Yes." Said Neji.

"Neji, if you spill water on yourself you'll stain!" said Lee.

"So?" said Neji.

"Here, let's go back to my house and I'll loan you one of my tuxedos." Lee said, acting like he was a big hero.

"No, that's all right." Said Neji, slamming his bedroom door on Lee and Tenten's faces so he could change.

"After this, we'll go to MY house and I'LL change!" said Tenten.

"Sorry, Tenten, but I don't think I have anything stylish that you could wear." Said Lee.

"Oh Lee, it's all right." Said Tenten, feeling relieved. "If I was a boy, I would DEFINITELY wear one of your tuxedos."

"Really?" said Lee.

"Oh yes." Said Tenten. "Unfortunately, though, I'm a girl and therefore I cannot wear one. I have to wear a dress instead."

"I hope Gai likes my tuxedo!" said Lee randomly.

"You know what?" said Tenten. "I bet he will."

LATER ON!!

It was about seven o'clock and it was time for everyone to venture off to the area in which they would be meeting their teachers. Kiba, Hinata and Shino were the first to arrive. Shino had his orange shirt on because he figured he knew what Kiba and Hinata were talking about. Kiba had a pair of dress up pants, a button down white shirt complete with a tie and everything. He also had his hair combed all pretty like. AND AKAMARU WAS WEARING A DOGGY BOWTIE!! As for Hinata, her hair didn't look any different except for the little blue ribbon but she was wearing a baby blue dress and little white gloves so she looked like she was a seven-year-old girl stuck in an Easter commercial.

They stood around and waited for a few minutes when, suddenly, Sakura, Sasuke and Naruto came around the corner!! Sakura had on a pink frilly dress with all the trimmings and her hair was done to the EXTREME. After Sakura and Naruto had left, Sasuke apparently decided to change his clothes because he was now wearing a black button down shirt with an Uchiha fan on the pocket and black pants. As for Naruto, he was wearing a red plaid lumberjack shirt and a pair of black and white striped pants. It didn't match.

"Hi." Said everyone simultaneously. They didn't know what else to say.

"Hinata, you look so pretty!" said Sakura finally.

"Thank you." Said Hinata. "You look nice too, Sakura."

"You think so?" Sakura said, spinning around. "What do you think, Sasuke?"

"You've already asked me that." Said Sasuke in the tone that clearly showed that she had asked him a whole lot more times than just ONCE. Then again, this is Sasuke we're talking about. He has VERY low tolerance for annoying people.

"And you never answered!" wailed Sakura.

But then Ino, Shikamaru and Chouji came!! Shikamaru was wearing his nice pants, a nice shirt and his chuunin vest over it. Chouji had a standard male's tuxedo that was nothing special. Ino was wearing the exact same dress as Sakura except it was purple instead of pink.

"YOU COPIED ME!!" Ino and Sakura yelled at the same time, pointing at each other.

"Naruto, did you fall down or something?" Shikamaru asked Naruto.

"No!" yelled Naruto. "I'm sexy!!"

"Hey, is that Shino?" asked Chouji, pointing at Shino.

"Yeah, isn't he so orange?" said Kiba, looking satisfied.

"I think orange is a good color on Shino!" said Hinata.

"Yeah, Hinata!" agreed Kiba. Shino rolled his eyes just as Lee, Neji and Tenten arrived!! We all know what Lee was wearing so describing it again would be ludicrous! We ALSO know what Neji was wearing so that would be ludicrous as well! And who cares what Tenten is wearing so describing what she has on would also be ludicrous! HURRAY!!

"What do you guys think of my tuxedo?" said Lee as he straightened his bowtie proudly.

"Uh…" said everyone slowly.

"Tenten, your dress is so nice!" said Ino. All the girls began complimenting each other on their dresses as the men stood there being manly.

"Aw man, I can't believe I'm the only one wearing a tie!" said Kiba.

"I'm wearing a tie!" said Chouji.

"Me too!" said Lee.

"I meant BESIDES you guys." Sighed Kiba.

"Think how I feel." Said Shino. "I'm wearing orange. Everyone else is in either white or black."

"I'm wearing green!" said Lee.

"And I'm wearing red!" said Naruto.

"I meant besides you guys." Said Shino.

"I just said that, Shino!" said Kiba as he shoved Shino. Not in a malicious manner, just to be playful like you would push your friends around.

Shino regained his balance. "Kiba, don't invade my personal space again." He said.

Before Kiba could be offended, the four teachers suddenly came out of nowhere all dressed up as well.

"WOW!!" yelled Gai as he ran over to Lee. "We must shop at the same store because we both have the same tuxedo!!"

"I KNOW!!" exclaimed Lee.

"Kiba?!" gasped Kurenai. She was wearing some kind of red… thing. "I swear, I wouldn't even have known it was you if you didn't have those red things on your face!"

"I look spiffy!" said Kiba. "And Akamaru dressed up too!"

"Shino?! Wow! You look great! I didn't even know it was you at first!" Kurenai said.

"What about Shikamaru?!" said Asuma, pointing to Shikamaru. Asuma was wearing just some kind of white button down shirt and pants.

"Naruto, why are you wearing that?" Kakashi said. Kakashi didn't change his clothes at all.

"No one helped me!" whined Naruto.

"We brought an unbiased person along to help us determine who the best dressed person was." Said Gai as he beckoned for Iruka to come out from behind a tree. Iruka was dressed up all pretty too.

Iruka scratched his chin and paced.

"I thought this wasn't a competition." Said Sasuke.

"We lied!" chimed the teachers.

Everyone paused.

"Okay, I'll pick one person from each team?" said Iruka.

"Whatever." Said the teachers.

"From this team…hmm… Sasuke!" said Iruka.

"NOOOOOOO!!" Naruto yelled. "Sasuke beat me again!!"

"As always." Said Sasuke.

"What about my dress?" whined Sakura.

"It's the same as Ino's." Iruka replied. "And as for this team… I'll have to go with… Chouji!"

"Hurray!" cheered Chouji.

"Nice job, Chouji." Said Shikamaru.

"And I guess I didn't win because my dress is the same as Sakura's?" complained Ino.

"Right!" said Iruka. He looked at Neji, Lee and Tenten long and hard. Actually, he was really just trying to decide between Neji and Tenten. "Over here…uh…" When he was about to announce the winner, Kakashi suddenly came up from behind Neji and put his hand on his shoulder. Neji tried to ignore Kakashi at first, but then when he just didn't let go, he decided to inquire as to why he was touching him.

"Neji, I looked underneath the underneath and realized that your shirt is soft and fuzzy." Kakashi said finally.

"It's fuzzy?" said Tenten.

Everyone pretty much ambushed Neji at that point to feel his fuzzy shirt. When they were all satisfied and everything was said and done, they finally left Neji alone who as clearly ready to go on the warpath.

"How does noticing that someone's shirt is fuzzy involve looking underneath the underneath?" Gai questioned.

"Well, I noticed and you guys didn't." Kakashi said.

"Okay, well, I think that fuzzy shirt pretty much was a dead give away that Neji wins out of this group!" said Iruka.

"I wish my dress was fuzzy." Said Tenten.

"What about my tuxedo?!" demanded Lee.

"Uh…" started Iruka. "It's…you can't go up against fuzzy things!"

"DARN!" said Lee, snapping his fingers.

"Finally, this last group." Iruka said, looking at Shino, Kiba and Hinata. "Well, I saved this group for last because you all look so nice!"

"I have the best dressed group." Said Kurenai with a cough.

"It's hard to decide." Said Iruka, trying to ignore Kurenai. "But I finally came to the conclusion that Kiba is the winner!"

"YAHOO!!" cheered Kiba.

"Nice job, Kiba!" said Hinata.

"Shino, sorry, you're wearing…orange." Said Iruka.

"I hate orange." Shino decided.

"Okay, now let's get out of here and get to that party before we're late!" said Asuma.

"We still have to go to that?" said Shikamaru. "I thought you made up the whole party just to trick us into getting dressed up so you could turn it into a competition."

"No, that would just be CRUEL!" laughed Gai.

"So…let's go." said Kakashi.