Glancing over her shoulder in the corridor, Beka regarded the slow-stepping avatar behind her. "How you doin' Rommie?"
Rommie paused before her reply. "I am a bit surprised that you didn't address what happened yesterday."
Beka sighed. "Too much happened yesterday."
"Almost too much to process," Rommie agreed. "I have taken the liberty of doing a sensory scan--examining all the life pods we brought aboard. Trying to reconstruct a picture of how--" She frowned. "I keep thinking that maybe if I…If I just could!"
The vehemence of the voice froze Beka in her tracks. Half turning, she watched Rommie and said, "Go on."
The avatar's brown eyes followed several people traversing the corridor. "Privately."
Beka shrugged, permissively. "Okay. We'll talk after we see Mister Mendelsen."
The doors parted and Beka and Rommie stepped into one of the quarters that had been assigned to the refugees.
They were greeted by a brown-haired, brown-eyed man dressed in a blue uniform. He whistled disdainfully, looking at his timepiece, and sneered. "Well, it's about time!"
Captain Valentine nodded, trying to do her best diplomatic impression. "Mister Mendelsen, I presume. I hear you've been asking for me."
"So, the good Captain Valentine has at last decided to grace us with her presence. I was beginning to think you'd forgotten about us." He paced up and down, lightly kicking the wall at odd times, as if the area were too small for him.
"Not at all. We picked up a lot of life pods. What ship did you come from?"
"Does it matter?" Mendelsen asked. "My ship is destroyed, doubtless my planet soon will be too."
Standing to one side, Rommie glared upon him. "He claims to have come from the Firelight. Unfortunately, my records are sketchy on that front."
"Why? Were your records damaged in the attack?" Beka questioned, surprised this vital bit of information hadn't been in the morning report.
"I have backups," Rommie replied, defensively. "All the lost data can be restored. It requires time."
Beka nodded and turned back towards their guest. "Then, let's go to the source. What exactly do you do, Mister Mendelsen?"
"I am an observer."
"Of what?"
Mendelsen's eyes sparkled with malice. "It doesn't matter to you."
"Let me be the judge of that," Beka replied.
"Maybe you shouldn't be the judge of anything," Mendelsen replied. "You lost your captain, I'm sure that's been difficult, but I have other worries as well."
Beka pondered. "The Firelight was the ship Dylan boarded. Were you working with Captain Hunt?"
"Our paths crossed, but my superiors worked more closely with him. I'm afraid there's not a lot I can tell you." Mendelsen rubbed his hand over his chin. "I wanted to talk to with you particularly, Captain Valentine. I and the others are concerned by your lack of communication with us."
"Well, the feeling's mutual," Beka replied. "So far you haven't told me anything I didn't already know. So let's stop wasting time. In case you haven't noticed, I have a ship to run."
Mendelsen smiled, condescendingly. "You've suffered a loss, your ship has obviously been damaged and frankly, I don't feel safe."
"Maybe you shouldn't feel safe," Rommie snapped. The man had taken a step forward and Rommie reacted suddenly, grabbing Mendelsen up by his shirt collar. She arched her brow. "Maybe I should let you off right now. There's an airlock not far from here--I could open it."
Shocked, the man twisted to free himself, but the android held him effortlessly in one hand, keeping his feet from touching the floor.
"Rommie?" Beka questioned with concern. Mendelsen might be annoying, but he was still a guest. Nothing he'd done thus far warranted this type of treatment.
Rommie seemed not to hear. Her brown eyes glared at the man before her. When she spoke, her voice was unnaturally smooth. "Maybe you were the one."
Mendelsen's face was turning red. His mouth gaped open as he gasped for air.
Beka tried again. "Rommie, what are you doing?"
Rommie seemed to hear Beka this time, but did not release her hold. Her focus was elsewhere. Her eyes looked glazed. "My records show his life pod number. His pod was the one right next to Dylan's. Yet, he claims to have no idea what happened to Captain Hunt. How can that be?"
"Don't know--" Mendelsen panted.
Rommie raised him higher. "What happened to Dylan?"
"Put him down," Beka said, sharply.
Rommie continued her violent questioning, as if Beka had not spoken at all. "Why did your pod protect you from the explosion? Why did his fail? How did you survive? Why didn't Dylan?"
Interesting questions, thought Beka. But Mendelsen's air supply was clearly being cut off by the avatar's iron grip. She'd hoped for a moment that Rommie might be playing Good Cop, Bad Cop, but this was ridiculous. Beka grasped her force lance, readying it. She didn't want to, but if push came to shove. "Rommie! Drop him."
Perhaps it was the clear cut command in her tone that caused Rommie to turn her head. Her eyes flicked momentarily to the force lance in Beka's hand, but she did not meet Beka's gaze. "As ordered. Yes, captain." She released her hold.
Mendelsen dropped, face first, to the floor..
Rommie took a step backward, folding her hands behind her back in an official stance. A frown was etched on her face.
Watching Rommie warily, Beka interposed herself between the avatar and the man. Still keeping one eye on the wayward android, Beka looked down at Mendelsen. Felt his neck. A pulse and still breathing! She activated her comlink. "One for Medical."
Searching for the answer to the strange behavior, Beka met Rommie's eyes. If she stared long enough she could almost hear the scream that wasn't there.
xxx
They left as soon as the Med team arrived. Mendelsen was in no shape to do any talking and Beka had mumbled some quick explanation about the man suffering from a fainting spell.
After ushering Rommie out the door, Beka spoke softly, "Let's go to my office."
Rommie started in the general direction of the Captain's Office, but Beka shook her head.
"No, not that way. My office." With these cryptic words, the captain headed off in a different direction altogether.
Beka's office, proved to be, onboard her pride and joy, the Eureka Maru. If the thought occurred to her that this was a minor absurdity to officiate Andromeda matters on another ship, she let it pass.
Rommie didn't comment on the oddity either. When it came Beka's behavior with anything concerning the Eureka Maru, Rommie had grown to accept that there were a lot of things outside logical comprehension.
Beka paced quickly across the kitchen and pulled a coffee mug out of the cabinet. Captain's business or no, she rapidly decided she would take whatever respite she could on the Maru. She closed her eyes and breathed in the familiar scent of coffee, and felt the refreshing coolness of the Maru's atmosphere against her cheeks.
It was Rommie who broke the silence.
"Beka?"
"Yes."
"Why didn't you tell them? When they came to get him? What had happened?"
"I was wondering about that myself." Beka set her coffee mug on the table, curling her fingers around it. "You didn't mean to do it, did you?"
Silence followed until Rommie spoke again. "Beka?"
"Yes."
"I…think you're right."
"What?" Beka asked, wearily. Her eyebrows flew up. The tone in Rommie's voice unsettled her. She blinked. "What are you talking about?"
"In what you said to me in the Medical Bay. When I was…when I--" The android groped painfully for words.
"Lost it?" Beka provided the words, starting to understand.
Rommie gave a nod. "Yes. For this reason, I have come to a….a decision."
Beka gaped at the android, wondering what she could possibly be thinking. She didn't want to ask.
Rommie pressed on. "I already placed myself and the crew in jeopardy. I don't want to risk doing that again."
"Then, don't," said Beka, shortly. Irritation was rising. It really shouldn't, but at a time like this, she really was hoping Rommie wouldn't suffer from another…breakdown. Two times in two days was already too much.
The next words were spoken quickly. "I understand if you want to take me offline. In fact, I recommend it."
She couldn't actually be suggesting….! Beka counted to ten and turned to the distraught android. "Look, Rommie. This is hard. We're all under a lot of strain and pressure's through the roof but we need you right now. We need to focus."
Whatever semblance of composure Rommie had been holding, broke. Her lips trembled as her eyes brimmed with tears. "I almost killed you," she whispered. "I almost killed you all. Everyone on board. You know the stories. You've seen firsthand what happens to old High Guard AI's that lose their captains. I thought I could control it, but with Mendelsen just now--" Rommie continued, "I am submitting this as an official request. You should. Before I--"
"No!" An angry hand slapped the tabletop. The same hand whapped the wall as Beka paced around the room. "I won't listen to this! That is not going to happen to you."
"But if you're wrong?" Rommie followed the officer's pacing with her eyes and kept speaking. "You should erase me. You'll still have the main AI, but I'll simply be--" Her voice trailed off and the thought with it. Then, Rommie added, "You don't understand."
"I understand enough. Now, I need you to understand a thing or two."
"But," the avatar objected. "It was me. I should have anticipated. I should have kept him from going. I should have--"
"Rommie, you have the brain the size of a planet, but even you can't foresee everything. That isn't your responsibility. You lost Dylan. We all did. That does not give you the permission to give up. Grief, Rommie, is a perfectly human response."
"Human? Maybe that is what is wrong with everything. Avatars were supposed to have an objective concern for their crews--but I broke the rules. I formed a strong emotional bond. My emotions became a liability. Avatars were tools of the Commonwealth, Beka! That's all. But I'm not human and I was never meant to be anything more than a useful extension of a war machine. I got angry and I'm not supposed to get angry! How am I supposed to handle an experience I was never supposed to have in the first place?"
Beka halted, looked her in the eye, and asked, "What would Dylan say if he were hearing you now? Your request is officially denied."
There was a space of silence between them.
Rommie looked torn. Then, she snapped to attention suddenly. "Understood, Captain Valentine." She turned to go.
"Wait! What are you afraid of Rommie? That'll you'll become like Pax? I'll tell you right now, that's never gonna happen. You are the heart of Andromeda and a valuable crewmember. You're a part of my crew. So no matter how much you give up on yourself, I am not going to give up on you. We need you. Don't ever doubt that!"
"Yes, captain."
"One last thing. I may be Captain of the Andromeda Ascendant now, but that doesn't change anything."
"Any what?"
"Don't salute me. You know how I hate that."
Rommie managed the frailest of smiles. "Yes, Beka," she said and left through the bay door.
The moment she had gone, Beka dropped down into a chair and cradled her head in hands. She felt limp. "You better be right, Valentine," she whispered to herself.
It was only a little while later that she received a visit from her newly appointed first officer and, over a new cup of coffee, related the recent events.
"She asked you what?" Tyr said in disbelief. "And you denied her request?"
"Why would I consider it? How could I?"
Tyr looked at her across the small tabletop. "Because, if she were a Nietzschean, she would be warning you not to trust her."
Beka twisted in her seat. "She's not Nietzschean, Tyr. Right now, she's no different than anyone who has lost someone close to us."
"Grief combined with one of the most powerful arsenals in the universe is not what I would call the norm. Nor is it a union that makes me sleep easy."
"What was I supposed to do, Tyr? I don't suppose you have any better ideas?"
"Confine her to quarters?"
"To do what? Brood herself into a mood worse than before? No. It's better if she keeps busy."
"Continuing this mission is a folly, Beka. Continuing it with an unstable AI is suicidal."
"She's not unstable," Beka objected.
"How can you be certain?"
"I don't know, Tyr. The only thing I know is that if what we're doing is going to have even a chance of succeeding, then we need her. We need all the help we can get."
Tyr remained silent a moment. "There is another option." When Beka did not reply, he leaned forward and said, "Forget this mission. These people Dylan consorted with obviously had their secrets. If, in fact, they brought this tragedy upon themselves, we are under no obligation. We owe them nothing, Beka."
"We promised them--"
"Dylan promised them."
Beka hesitated. "I promised Dylan."
"Dylan, is it?" said Tyr.
"A promise Dylan made and a promise I made to Dylan. It's the same thing."
"It is not the same thing!" Tyr objected, standing up. He stepped around the table and knelt in front of her. Still seated, Beka's head was level with his as he looked into her eyes . "Give me your word that you will seriously consider the risks you are taking with all of our lives, Beka."
Her blue eyes stared back at him. "If you consider the lives we'll save if we take the risk."
The long pause seemed to hold impending rejection, but Tyr stood upright and nodded. "Agreed." His voice rumbled. "And I will not take such a pledge lightly." He moved as if to go.
"I know." She swallowed. "What I need to know is who'll be standing there with me. When it comes down to my decision, who can I really count on? Can I count on you?"
His back was to her, but he paused in the doorway. "It depends on the choice you make. So, I will answer that," Tyr replied, darkly. "When the time comes."
His words lingered in the uncomfortable silence after he had gone.