Naruto Primer Lost Chapter: All
Another Set-Up
kenthegreat1 described quite a long and drawn out sequence of events that this chapter would have to be about. We won't bother explaining it now because then that would be giving it away! So we'll just leave it at this since you're about to read this chapter anyway.
Ever since Operation Hook-Up-Love-Obstacles failed, Sakura has been a little down. She tried to get Lee and Ino to like each other so that Lee would stop liking her and Ino would stop liking Sasuke. That didn't work out so well, so Sakura decided to work on her more ANNOYING problem, while helping someone in the process!
Any IDIOT can tell that Hinata has some sort of feelings for Naruto. And Sakura's just the idiot to notice! And, since Hinata's such her GREAT friend, Sakura is perfectly willing to talk Naruto into asking Hinata out on a date! Isn't that splendid?
So Kiba, Shino and Hinata were all hanging out, looking like they were about to start training. Sakura was observing from a bush when, all of a sudden, Naruto appeared out of nowhere. "HI SAKURA!!" he yelled, waving a letter around. "You said you wanted me to meet you here?!"
"SHHH!!" said Sakura as she covered Naruto's mouth. It was kind of insane that they went unnoticed, but they DID!
"Sorry." Said Naruto. "But what did you want to talk to me about?"
"Well, I just so happened to be walking by this group as they stood here and trained and I figured that it would be the nice thing to do for you to ask Hinata to go out for lunch!"
"What?" said Naruto, looking slightly confused. "I was going to ask YOU to go out to lunch with me!"
"I already ate!" Sakura lied.
"Why Hinata?" questioned Naruto. "I'm MUCH better friends with Kiba. I'd ask him to go out to lunch with me before I asked Hinata!"
Sakura paused. Was Naruto gay too?
"No!" Sakura said, trying to dismiss that thought from her head. "Okay, you have to ask Hinata out because then I might start to try and think about MAYBE contemplating go out on a date with you!"
"REALLY?!" said Naruto in an excited tone. "With that offer, I can't HELP but agree!"
He jumped out of bush. "Hey Hinata!" he called, running over.
"Hi Naruto…" said Hinata nervously. If Kiba was an ACTUAL dog then he probably would have growled and his hair would stick up. As for Shino, he just stood there silently. As usual.
"Hinata, I was wondering if you wanted to go out to lunch with me!" Naruto said.
"W-w-w-what?" Hinata stuttered.
"WHAT?!" growled Kiba as his hair stuck STRAIGHT up.
"Just for lunch!" said Naruto.
"Um…okay…" Hinata said, blushing like CRAZY and twiddling her fingers.
"Hinata, you don't want to go out to lunch with HIM!" said Kiba as if it was the worst thing he could think of.
"It's lunch time anyway." Said Shino as if that had relevance. "While Hinata's eating with Naruto, we can go and get something to eat too."
"But…" began Kiba.
"THANK YOU Shino!" said Sakura happily from her bush.
So Shino and Kiba, much to Kiba's dismay, went off one way as Hinata and Naruto went off the other way. Sakura was going to go off and frolic happily, but then she decided to follow after Kiba to make sure he didn't interrupt Hinata and Naruto's DAAAAATE.
"Hey guys!" said Sakura as she walked over to Kiba and Shion who were still standing there like knaves. "I don't know either of you very well, but do you think we could all go and have lunch since Hinata's going out with Naruto? We'll close the social gap!"
"How did you know Hinata's going to eat lunch with Naruto?" said Kiba suspiciously. He can SENSE evil.
"Because I set them up!" said Sakura. "Isn't it great?"
"NO IT IS NOT GREAT!!" yelled Kiba.
"Now Naruto will finally be out of my hair and Hinata will finally have a boyfriend!" said Sakura.
Kiba only glared at her.
"I don't think that's very nice of you to use Hinata as a decoy to divert Naruto's attention away from you." Said Shino.
"I'm not doing that!" said Sakura, looking offended. "I'm helping them both! She obviously likes him!"
Upon hearing the last statement, Kiba clutched his heart and almost died. "Did she say that?!" he said.
"Well…no… but it's obvious!" said Sakura. Cue Sakura's woman's intuition. "Hey…" she said slyly. "Do you like Hinata?"
"NO!" yelled Kiba. "I'm much too manly for that!"
Akamaru barked.
"Don't listen to Akamaru!!" said Kiba. "I only like Shino as a friend. You got that Shino?! ONLY A FRIEND!"
"Okay." Said Shino. "I like you as a friend too, Kiba."
Akamaru barked again.
"I'm sure he just likes me as a friend!!" said Kiba. "He SAID it!!"
"Okay…I'm going to go and…make sure their date is going okay!" said Sakura as she slipped away while Kiba argued with his dog.
Then Kiba happened to notice that Sakura left. He made a vow right then and there that he must make sure that Naruto and Hinata's date went BADLY so that they'd never pursue each other as lovers even though they're only twelve and don't need significant others yet!
"Shino, don't you think it's TERRIBLE the way Sakura plays with Naruto and Hinata's feelings?" said Kiba.
"Yes." Said Shino.
"…Okay, so let's go crash their date!!" said Kiba.
"Whatever." Shino said with a shrug.
The two of them ran off to the restaurant with the grill in the middle of the table where you can cook the food.
"I was going to take you to the Ramen place, but then I decided that this restaurant was…I don't know… more… grillish."
"Oh." Said Hinata. "Okay."
Shino and Kiba dove into a table and picked up menus to cover their faces.
"All right," said Kiba. "What's our first plan of attack to ruin their date?"
Suddenly, they looked up to see Neji and Lee standing there.
"What are you guys doing?" Lee asked.
"What are YOU guys doing?" Kiba retorted.
"We came here to get something to eat!" said Lee. "Obviously!"
"We came here to make sure Naruto and Hinata's date goes bad." Shino answered.
"No we didn't!" said Kiba unconvincingly.
"Why are you doing something like that?" Lee questioned.
"Because Sakura only set them up so that Naruto wouldn't bother her anymore!" said Kiba.
"Hey!" said Lee. "If Naruto's not bothering her anymore… that's less competition for me! I have to make sure this date goes WELL!"
Lee then sprinted over to the table at the opposite side of the restaurant where Sakura was sitting hiding behind a menu.
"Oh man!" said Kiba. "From now on, let's not tell anyone!"
"What are you two planning on doing to ruin their date?" Neji asked.
"Uh…not KILL her or HARM her or anything…" said Kiba.
"As long as we're in the process of making a member of the Main House's life worse, I'm in." said Neji as he sat down and grabbed a menu too.
"…" said Shino and Kiba.
Meanwhile, Sakura and Lee were hiding out as well.
"Kiba's here?!" gasped Sakura. "Trying to ruin their date?!"
"YEAH!" said Lee. "And now it seems he has enlisted the help of Shino and Neji! Oh WOE is Hinata and Naruto!!"
"We have to make sure they don't do anything to ruin their date!" said Sakura in a determined fashion.
"Ruin whose date?" said Ino, popping up from behind Sakura.
"None of your busi—" started Sakura.
"Naruto and Hinata's date!!" Lee answered immediately.
"That's not nice!" said Ino. "Hinata's a nice person who deserves to have some fun every once and a while and it's SO obvious that she likes Naruto anyway! I think we should all work together to make sure they don't do anything!"
"ALL RIGHT!!" cheered Lee.
Just then, a radiant glow entered the restaurant. It was SASUKE!! He walked in and spotted Hinata and Naruto obliviously ordering their meals, and then the tables on either side of them with his other ninja acquaintances hiding behind menus.
"Let's see…" said Sasuke. "I could go and sit with Neji, Kiba and Shino. Or I could sit with Sakura, Ino and Lee. Or I could sit with Hinata and Naruto. Or…" he looked across the restaurant. "Shikamaru and Chouji. Then again, I could always just sit by myself."
Sasuke then realized that it was rather puzzling that all these people were hanging out together in one restaurant. If that was so then it was either one big huge coincidence or it was a party… and he always thought it was strange if he was to walk in on a party that he didn't receive an invitation to. So, he figured it was time to question someone.
"Shino, you're the most sane one here." said Sasuke. "Talk to me."
"Sakura set up Naruto and Hinata so that Naruto would stop bothering her so that she'd be free to date you." Shino answered.
"Oh." Said Sasuke, crossing his arms. "I dislike that on so many levels. So, if this is a thing with Naruto and Hinata, why are you all here?"
"Crashing the date so it doesn't go well!" said Kiba.
"…Because?" Sasuke asked.
"Because…uh…because!" said Kiba.
"Kiba's making me." Said Shino.
"And I just like watching the Main House suffer." Neji finished.
"Oh, those are good reasons." Said Sasuke, rolling his eyes. "I will join you for an INTELLIGENT reason, and for a dumb reason. One, I don't want Naruto to prosper… that's the dumb reason. The intelligent reason is that I don't want Sakura to succeed even though I will never ask her out on a date even if she was free."
Sasuke joined the other three in hiding behind the menu.
Then Tenten walked in. She looked at the tables. She decided that she liked the group of Sakura, Ino and Lee better than any of the other groups so she frolicked over to them.
"Okay…so what's our first plan to ruin the date?" Kiba said. He didn't WANT to make Hinata sad, but it was for her own good.
"I went over there and asked Shikamaru what we should do." Shino said as he pointed to Shikamaru.
"Here." Said Shikamaru. He had an intricate plan written out on a napkin.
"WOW!" said Kiba. "Thanks Shikamaru!"
Shikamaru shrugged and left.
"All right, let's do this!" said Kiba. They all were just about to get into their battle poses when Hinata and Naruto suddenly stood up.
"Thank you for taking me out to lunch, Naruto!" said Hinata.
"Yeah, I guess!" said Naruto. "There wasn't much to talk about. Okay! I'm going to go off and find Sakura!"
"…Okay…" Hinata said, sounding kind of sad as Naruto dashed out the door.
Everyone who had been waiting for their climactic battle scene suddenly deflated with unhappiness and/or disappointment. With the exception of Kiba who could CLEARLY tell that nothing had changed between Naruto and Hinata… and Naruto STILL liked Sakura!!
"Well that didn't work out quite like I had planned!" said Sakura with a sigh. Oh well. Tomorrow's a new day. A new day to hook up more unsuspecting love obstacles.