* A/N: I'm getting bored with curses now ... so I'm just gonna use #%#$. Hehehe...but
this is mostly gonna be used with Barrett, Cid, and Carter since well, they curse the most.
I haven't gotten ANY reviews yet. People, I just gotta know what you think!! I put in my
two cents for other stories, put your 2 cents in for mine! For those of you who don't know
Carter, he's from Rush Hour & Rush Hour 2. Okay...I'm done. Please R&R! *
## Carter's POV ##
"What the #%$^ do you all think y'all are doin tryin to rob this lil' place?" I asked. Then
those punkasses got the signal to turn around. "Man, even I would do somethin a lil bigger
than that! C'mon, everybody get yo asses down here so I can get this over with. I'm
embarrased to arrest y'all here." Damn, what the %&%#$ were they thinking? Robbing a
#$%$*%& GROCERY store? #$%&#$, I could do betta than that. But then again, I'm
LAPD, The most hated $#$%&$ in California. They all got theyselves down to my level
and I frisked them. One of the big ones was loaded with weapons. #$@#%$, why da hell
he gon' load up wit weapons...and then go and rob a GROCERY store? @!#$, I'll neva
know.
"What are you doing with my weapons?" he asked me. What a stupid ass!
"What the HELL kinda question is that? What, you want me to just let you off widdem?" I
asked.
"#$*%#$%! #&*#$##$%&*" he screamed. Damn, he had a mouth. He was black too.
What the hell was he doing with all them skinny white ashy asses?
"Fuh shizzle my nizzle," I said laughing as I was handcuffing him. "You DO know what
that means right? Or did these punks over here just brainwash you with their punkass
notions?"
"Yeah, of course I do," he told me. "For sure, my nigga." (A/N: I'm black, I can say that
all right?? Just clearing that up)
I raised my eyebrows. "Coo, coo, man. You all right. I'ma save you from these...I don't
know what to call them, but whateva it is, they are so it." I pulled him aside and held my
gun up as I was frisking the other guys.
"I heard what you was sayin about us," another guy said. He was white, had blond hair,
and wore some kinda glasses. Like he was flyin some airplane wit his wrinkly ass.
"Yeah, what's it to you?" I told him.
"We may be white, but you don't know how WE do," he said pointing to his other tighty
whitey friends.
"Man, GET YO ASS BY THE CAR!" I said shoving him to my police car. Now the next
person I frisked was a girl. A cute asian girl."Hey, sweetie," I started, "what you doin
with these freaks? I can be yo supaman if ya know what I'm sayin."
"It's....not....real....blood!" she shrieked. Eitha she was foreign or she was a goth lost in
this poor ghetto gang. I went with the foreign assumption.
"I...am...Carter! I...can...do...magic!" I said loudly.
"Magic?" she smiled.
"Magic!" I smiled back. Looks like I was gonna get some tonight.
"Boy, please," she said in a regular voice. Girlfriend was trying to play me.
"Girl, I think you and I should be."
"Be what?"
"A couple!"
"Aren't you supposed to be arresting me?" she said disgusted.
I frisked her. She had weapons in places I never knew existed on the female body. When I
reached for some of them she did some major bitchslapping.
"You betta recognize!" she said removing the weapons herself.
"#$&$^!!! That $#^$^& hurt!" I yelled.
"Good," she said walking over to the police car. Okay, she wasn't cute anymore. The next
person I arrested was also a girl. She was hot too, but I had black boy behind me to make
sure she didn't hurt me.
"Hey girl," I sad frisking her. She didn't have that many weapons, damn. "Where all yo
weapons at? A girl like you needs protection."
"Whaddya mean 'a girl like me?!?!' " she said breaking free of my grip and slapping me.
"$%&#$%@#$!!" I screamed. "@#@#$% that hurt!!"
"Then my work is done here," she said walking over to the car. I watched her ass all the way over the car.
"Fiesty girl," I said licking my lips.
"Uh huh, she is. C'mon and frisk me before I break!" someone said. I turned around to see
ANOTHER white ass talkin to me. What the hell was he talking about "breaking" for?
Don't he know that that word has been outdated for...forever?
"Now who are you?" I asked.
"C-man!" he answered. I tried to keep my serious face on.
"C-man? You look like a pokeman!" I said with my dissolving serious face.
"Yeah...well....word up boyee!" he said. Man, I tried as HARD as I could to keep up the
LAPD rep for serious faces all the time but he pushed it TOO FAR. I let it all out. I
started weezing, and I couldn't breathe right, and I...just thought it was hilarious. Then I
looked at his confused face and put my serious face back on.
"Stick to the punk image, aight?" I said motioning for him to go over by the car. The rest
of the guys with them were smart enough to run away so I ended up arresting those five
suckas. "Okay, everybody get in the car, don't touch nothin, and black boy can sit his ass
in the front!" They all just looked at me. "Did you hear me?" I said a little louder. I
opened the door. "I ain't gon' be your escort the whole time. Get in the car fo' I slap
you!" One of the girls got in the car and then the rest followed. Thass what I'm talkin
bout. Respect my authority.
"Where the @*#$&$% are you taking us?" white fly boy asked.
"Where the #$^%#$^ do you think we're going?" I said turning around. "We're goin
downtown!"
"Just forget about it Cloud," one of the girls said, "we'll be able to fight the good fight
soon enough."
"Cloud? What the hell kinda hippie parents named yo ass Cloud?" I asked. That was
ridiculous. The names these days don't have nothin to do with $$%#^ in the #$^$# sky.
"My mom...she wasn't a 'hippie,' " he answered. Whateva. When we got downtown I left
them with someone so they could be questioned. I got myself some hot wings from a
vendor down the street. Hot wings is good. I'ma make my own hot wings machine one
day. I'ma call em "Carter's Hot Wings." Original, right? I take afta my dad. Originality.
Yeah, so when I was done eating, I went back to the station.
"Hey man, so how long is th-WHAT THE HELL?!" I screamed. The place was wrecked
like WHOA. It looked like some #$^%^ tornado hit! I looked over and my coworkers
were all on the floor trying to move. I looked over to the other side of the room, and
guess who it was? Those five punks. "Black boy," I said to the black man, "What
HAPPENED? And don't give me no 'I don't know' #@*#$%. I'm trained." I said getting
in my karate stance.
"Look," he said, "let's get one thing straight. My name is Barrett," he said.
"And I'm Tifa," fly girl said.
"I'm Yuffie," Asian girl said.
"I'm Cid, and don't @%$% forget it," wrinkly ass said.
"And I'm Cloud," white boy said.
"Aight then BARRETT," I started, "Tell me what the #^%^&$% happened!"
"You might need to sit down before you get your #&%^#$%#% panties in a bunch when
we tell you what's going on," Cid told me. Fine, I sat down. They explained that they
were some futuristic retards from the future and they came to get some guy from their
time from my time. Then they said they have to find some guy named Prizmle and his gang
from killing that guy's great great great grandfather....RIIIIIGHT.
"Uh huh, so how do you plan on doing that?" I asked. I didn't believe them for a second,
but I figured I'd play along since they'd probably tear up my ass if I didn't.
"With my help and possibly yours," someone said. I turned around to see that it was a
someTHING.
I jumped up and screamed. "#$^%! $$&&%^&! %^*^&! What the #^#%&^$% is a
talking wolf doin here?!?!" Then I calmed down. They were tryin to freak me out. "Oh, I
know what's goin on. You're tryin to trick me right?" I said nodding my head.
"WHERE'S THE MICROPHONE?!?!" I yelled at the wolf. It scratched me.
"Man, there's no microphone," the wolf said. Its mouth was moving so I was kinda
freaked out that it was real. "I'm Red XIII, and I'm with those five guys over there."
I dropped down to the floor. Wow, maybe they were telling the truth. Huh, crazy how
things turn out. I joined up with them anyway in hopes of getting with Tifa. I couldn't
resist...I could have bitten those titties right off of her if she wasn't such a $%&$% good
fighter. "You'll need my help if you're gonna survive in this world," I said. Then I looked
at the damage they caused in the police station. "Although I think you'll survive on ya
own, you'll need me to help you out."
"Welcome to AVALANCHE," Red XIII said. AVALANCHE? Anotha gang, I guess.
"Thanks, Red. Yo, can I call you Redman?" I asked him.
"Um, sure," Red said.
"There's a rapper in this time period with that name, so I'll be able to say I worked with
Redman," I said with a grin. Sure, it may have been stretching the truth a LITTLE, but
hey, I got to work with Redman.
"Whatever's comftorable for you. That's not even my real name," Redman said. "It's
Nanaki."
"Okay, I'm definitely going to call you Redman then," I said nodding my head.
"Hello?" Yuffie said interrupting our conversation. "We still need to find out more about
this Prizmle person..."
"Oh yeah!" everyone said at the same time.
"From now on, y'all officially working for the LAPD," I reminded them. They all gave me
confused looks. "The police, y'all. Y'all gon' need a lot of disguises if y'all don't want
anyone to notice you." They all nodded. "Aight then, let's go."
* A/N: Yay, another chapter finished. I hope you guys got a couple of laughs from it! It
gets funnier. Sorry for the bad spelling ... I was too lazy to spell check it lmao.
Next chapter is from Cid's POV, so you know a lot of it's going to be
censored! Haha, now review my story so far!! :-D *
this is mostly gonna be used with Barrett, Cid, and Carter since well, they curse the most.
I haven't gotten ANY reviews yet. People, I just gotta know what you think!! I put in my
two cents for other stories, put your 2 cents in for mine! For those of you who don't know
Carter, he's from Rush Hour & Rush Hour 2. Okay...I'm done. Please R&R! *
## Carter's POV ##
"What the #%$^ do you all think y'all are doin tryin to rob this lil' place?" I asked. Then
those punkasses got the signal to turn around. "Man, even I would do somethin a lil bigger
than that! C'mon, everybody get yo asses down here so I can get this over with. I'm
embarrased to arrest y'all here." Damn, what the %&%#$ were they thinking? Robbing a
#$%$*%& GROCERY store? #$%&#$, I could do betta than that. But then again, I'm
LAPD, The most hated $#$%&$ in California. They all got theyselves down to my level
and I frisked them. One of the big ones was loaded with weapons. #$@#%$, why da hell
he gon' load up wit weapons...and then go and rob a GROCERY store? @!#$, I'll neva
know.
"What are you doing with my weapons?" he asked me. What a stupid ass!
"What the HELL kinda question is that? What, you want me to just let you off widdem?" I
asked.
"#$*%#$%! #&*#$##$%&*" he screamed. Damn, he had a mouth. He was black too.
What the hell was he doing with all them skinny white ashy asses?
"Fuh shizzle my nizzle," I said laughing as I was handcuffing him. "You DO know what
that means right? Or did these punks over here just brainwash you with their punkass
notions?"
"Yeah, of course I do," he told me. "For sure, my nigga." (A/N: I'm black, I can say that
all right?? Just clearing that up)
I raised my eyebrows. "Coo, coo, man. You all right. I'ma save you from these...I don't
know what to call them, but whateva it is, they are so it." I pulled him aside and held my
gun up as I was frisking the other guys.
"I heard what you was sayin about us," another guy said. He was white, had blond hair,
and wore some kinda glasses. Like he was flyin some airplane wit his wrinkly ass.
"Yeah, what's it to you?" I told him.
"We may be white, but you don't know how WE do," he said pointing to his other tighty
whitey friends.
"Man, GET YO ASS BY THE CAR!" I said shoving him to my police car. Now the next
person I frisked was a girl. A cute asian girl."Hey, sweetie," I started, "what you doin
with these freaks? I can be yo supaman if ya know what I'm sayin."
"It's....not....real....blood!" she shrieked. Eitha she was foreign or she was a goth lost in
this poor ghetto gang. I went with the foreign assumption.
"I...am...Carter! I...can...do...magic!" I said loudly.
"Magic?" she smiled.
"Magic!" I smiled back. Looks like I was gonna get some tonight.
"Boy, please," she said in a regular voice. Girlfriend was trying to play me.
"Girl, I think you and I should be."
"Be what?"
"A couple!"
"Aren't you supposed to be arresting me?" she said disgusted.
I frisked her. She had weapons in places I never knew existed on the female body. When I
reached for some of them she did some major bitchslapping.
"You betta recognize!" she said removing the weapons herself.
"#$&$^!!! That $#^$^& hurt!" I yelled.
"Good," she said walking over to the police car. Okay, she wasn't cute anymore. The next
person I arrested was also a girl. She was hot too, but I had black boy behind me to make
sure she didn't hurt me.
"Hey girl," I sad frisking her. She didn't have that many weapons, damn. "Where all yo
weapons at? A girl like you needs protection."
"Whaddya mean 'a girl like me?!?!' " she said breaking free of my grip and slapping me.
"$%&#$%@#$!!" I screamed. "@#@#$% that hurt!!"
"Then my work is done here," she said walking over to the car. I watched her ass all the way over the car.
"Fiesty girl," I said licking my lips.
"Uh huh, she is. C'mon and frisk me before I break!" someone said. I turned around to see
ANOTHER white ass talkin to me. What the hell was he talking about "breaking" for?
Don't he know that that word has been outdated for...forever?
"Now who are you?" I asked.
"C-man!" he answered. I tried to keep my serious face on.
"C-man? You look like a pokeman!" I said with my dissolving serious face.
"Yeah...well....word up boyee!" he said. Man, I tried as HARD as I could to keep up the
LAPD rep for serious faces all the time but he pushed it TOO FAR. I let it all out. I
started weezing, and I couldn't breathe right, and I...just thought it was hilarious. Then I
looked at his confused face and put my serious face back on.
"Stick to the punk image, aight?" I said motioning for him to go over by the car. The rest
of the guys with them were smart enough to run away so I ended up arresting those five
suckas. "Okay, everybody get in the car, don't touch nothin, and black boy can sit his ass
in the front!" They all just looked at me. "Did you hear me?" I said a little louder. I
opened the door. "I ain't gon' be your escort the whole time. Get in the car fo' I slap
you!" One of the girls got in the car and then the rest followed. Thass what I'm talkin
bout. Respect my authority.
"Where the @*#$&$% are you taking us?" white fly boy asked.
"Where the #$^%#$^ do you think we're going?" I said turning around. "We're goin
downtown!"
"Just forget about it Cloud," one of the girls said, "we'll be able to fight the good fight
soon enough."
"Cloud? What the hell kinda hippie parents named yo ass Cloud?" I asked. That was
ridiculous. The names these days don't have nothin to do with $$%#^ in the #$^$# sky.
"My mom...she wasn't a 'hippie,' " he answered. Whateva. When we got downtown I left
them with someone so they could be questioned. I got myself some hot wings from a
vendor down the street. Hot wings is good. I'ma make my own hot wings machine one
day. I'ma call em "Carter's Hot Wings." Original, right? I take afta my dad. Originality.
Yeah, so when I was done eating, I went back to the station.
"Hey man, so how long is th-WHAT THE HELL?!" I screamed. The place was wrecked
like WHOA. It looked like some #$^%^ tornado hit! I looked over and my coworkers
were all on the floor trying to move. I looked over to the other side of the room, and
guess who it was? Those five punks. "Black boy," I said to the black man, "What
HAPPENED? And don't give me no 'I don't know' #@*#$%. I'm trained." I said getting
in my karate stance.
"Look," he said, "let's get one thing straight. My name is Barrett," he said.
"And I'm Tifa," fly girl said.
"I'm Yuffie," Asian girl said.
"I'm Cid, and don't @%$% forget it," wrinkly ass said.
"And I'm Cloud," white boy said.
"Aight then BARRETT," I started, "Tell me what the #^%^&$% happened!"
"You might need to sit down before you get your #&%^#$%#% panties in a bunch when
we tell you what's going on," Cid told me. Fine, I sat down. They explained that they
were some futuristic retards from the future and they came to get some guy from their
time from my time. Then they said they have to find some guy named Prizmle and his gang
from killing that guy's great great great grandfather....RIIIIIGHT.
"Uh huh, so how do you plan on doing that?" I asked. I didn't believe them for a second,
but I figured I'd play along since they'd probably tear up my ass if I didn't.
"With my help and possibly yours," someone said. I turned around to see that it was a
someTHING.
I jumped up and screamed. "#$^%! $$&&%^&! %^*^&! What the #^#%&^$% is a
talking wolf doin here?!?!" Then I calmed down. They were tryin to freak me out. "Oh, I
know what's goin on. You're tryin to trick me right?" I said nodding my head.
"WHERE'S THE MICROPHONE?!?!" I yelled at the wolf. It scratched me.
"Man, there's no microphone," the wolf said. Its mouth was moving so I was kinda
freaked out that it was real. "I'm Red XIII, and I'm with those five guys over there."
I dropped down to the floor. Wow, maybe they were telling the truth. Huh, crazy how
things turn out. I joined up with them anyway in hopes of getting with Tifa. I couldn't
resist...I could have bitten those titties right off of her if she wasn't such a $%&$% good
fighter. "You'll need my help if you're gonna survive in this world," I said. Then I looked
at the damage they caused in the police station. "Although I think you'll survive on ya
own, you'll need me to help you out."
"Welcome to AVALANCHE," Red XIII said. AVALANCHE? Anotha gang, I guess.
"Thanks, Red. Yo, can I call you Redman?" I asked him.
"Um, sure," Red said.
"There's a rapper in this time period with that name, so I'll be able to say I worked with
Redman," I said with a grin. Sure, it may have been stretching the truth a LITTLE, but
hey, I got to work with Redman.
"Whatever's comftorable for you. That's not even my real name," Redman said. "It's
Nanaki."
"Okay, I'm definitely going to call you Redman then," I said nodding my head.
"Hello?" Yuffie said interrupting our conversation. "We still need to find out more about
this Prizmle person..."
"Oh yeah!" everyone said at the same time.
"From now on, y'all officially working for the LAPD," I reminded them. They all gave me
confused looks. "The police, y'all. Y'all gon' need a lot of disguises if y'all don't want
anyone to notice you." They all nodded. "Aight then, let's go."
* A/N: Yay, another chapter finished. I hope you guys got a couple of laughs from it! It
gets funnier. Sorry for the bad spelling ... I was too lazy to spell check it lmao.
Next chapter is from Cid's POV, so you know a lot of it's going to be
censored! Haha, now review my story so far!! :-D *