Naruto Primer Lost Chapter: Chouji/Asuma

Ostentatious Shikamaru

Woot. One hundred thousand words. Go Lost Chapters!

Chouji's best friend ever is Shikamaru. Back when Chouji was young and innocent, he didn't have very many friends. But then along came Shikamaru and he made everything all right.

Asuma was in a similar situation. You see, he considers Shikamaru to be one of his best friends too because Shikamaru made Asuma the coolest guy in the village because he was the ONLY one who had a student to pass the chuunin exam that time around!

Now, under normal circumstances, these two characters would much rather be spending their time with Shikamaru. But for the benefit of this chapter, we're going to have them be spending time with EACH OTHER!!

"YAAAAAAAAWWWWN!" exclaimed Asuma as he stretched high to the sky.

"Why are you so tired?" Chouji asked.

"I got into a fight last night with Gai over whose student was the best." Said Asuma as he pretended to throw some punches like a boxer.

"Oh." Said Chouji. "Student? As in not the plural?"

"Right." Said Asuma. "Everybody knows Shikamaru is the best because he's a chuunin."

"Yeah, Shikamaru IS the coolest but you could have compared Ino and me too just for the sake of argument!" said Chouji. "No doubt Gai was comparing with all three of his students!"

"No, he was only using Lee." Asuma replied.

"Oh." Said Chouji. "Okay then."

It was silent.

"So…where is Shikamaru anyway?" said Asuma, looking around.

The two of them were sitting in the restaurant with the grill… you know which restaurant.

"He's just late, that's all!" said Chouji with a chuckle.

"So…did Ino say she was coming this time around?" Asuma asked.

"No." said Chouji. "Well, she didn't say that she wasn't coming, and she didn't say that she WAS coming. She didn't say much of anything."

"That's different for her!" laughed Asuma.

"Let me rephrase that." Said Chouji. "She didn't say much of anything concerning our get-together. She said plenty of OTHER things!"

"That's the Ino we know!" said Asuma.

They laughed for a few seconds and awkwardly trailed off again.

"So…Shikamaru sure is grand." Said Asuma with a sigh.

"And ostentatious." Chouji agreed.

"I don't know if his particularly ostentatious." Asuma said.

"I think he is." Said Chouji.

"No, no, I think I'M more ostentatious than he is." Asuma corrected.

"We're not talking about you, we're talking about Shikamaru." Said Chouji. "And I think he's ostentatious!"

"He's not!" said Asuma, slamming his hands down on the table and standing up.

"Yes he IS!" said Chouji, doing the same.

"Do you even know what ostentatious means?!" demanded Asuma.

"A little!!" said Chouji. "Maybe!!"

"So you're saying that Shikamaru is pretentious?" said Asuma in a challenging fashion.

"Yes!" said Chouji.

"And portentous?!" Asuma said.

"YES!!" said Chouji.

"And arrogant?!" Asuma said.

"Oh!" said Chouji. "No, no. Shikamaru is far from arrogant. What a misunderstanding!"

"Ho ho ho!" laughed Asuma as he sat down. He and Chouji both chuckled and shook each other's hands, feeling a little silly about their exchange that just occurred.

"I think we should just stick with grand for now." Said Chouji.

"And awesome." Asuma added.

"And wonderful." Chouji sighed.

"And he's a chuunin!" Asuma said.

"Yeah!" said Chouji. "He's so lucky!"

"He's not lucky." Said Asuma. "He EARNED his position of chuuninhood!"

"You're right!" said Chouji. "No one deserves it more than Shikamaru!"

"That's for sure!" said Asuma. "And no one deserves a chuunin student more than I do!"

"Or a chuunin friend more than I do!" Chouji said.

The conversation was smote.

"Uh…" Asuma tried, trying to start it up again. "So, Shikamaru sure is swell, don't you agree?"

"I agree." Chouji nodded.

"SO swell, that I do believe he can enter the jounin exam!" said Asuma, pointing his finger up in the air.

"Yeah!" said Chouji. "We have to convince him to enter!"

"That sure will be exciting!" said Asuma. "I wonder what the guys'll say to Shikamaru being a JOUNIN while their students are still GENIN?" Asuma began to rub his hands together diabolically.

"Shikamaru will just have to show off his intelligence even MORE!" said Chouji.

"I believe that won't be too hard!" said Asuma. "Shikamaru has intelligence to SPARE!"

"I KNOW!" said Chouji.

The two of them erupted into hearty laughing once again as Shikamaru peeked in the window. He knew exactly what they were talking about.

"I have to either stop being late for these things or make sure Chouji and Asuma are never alone again." Said Shikamaru, looking mightily annoyed as he entered the restaurant.

"SHIKAMARU!!" cheered Asuma and Chouji as they leapt out of their seats. "WELCOME!!" During their conversation, they had hyped themselves up for Shikamaru's arrival a little too much and now were WAY too enthusiastic. It was bound to happen EVENTUALLY!! Now, if only Ino was there to save Shikamaru from the wrath of Chouji and Asuma…