Naruto Primer Lost Chapter: Sasuke
Legal Guardian
Before we write this next chapter that was suggested by…US… we just want to give a quick shout out to phantomgamer01 for his incredible idea concerning Gaara doing a spoof of "The Sorcerer's Apprentice" except with sand instead of water and siblings instead of brooms. Try as we might, we couldn't write a chapter that justified the idea so we're just informing you that the idea existed, and we loved it. ANYWAY, as we previously mentioned, this next chapter was our own inspiration.
The morning was like any other morning for Uchiha Sasuke. He got out of bed, went into the kitchen and poured himself a bowl of Ninja Pebbles. Yup. Nothing out of the ordinary today.
Then the doorbell rang.
He was a little peeved that he had to leave his Ninja Pebbles because they were going to get soggy, but he figured he could always just pour himself a NEW bowl! So he went to the door and opened it up so suddenly be faced with…
Itachi and Kisame?!
"Greetings, younger brother!" said Itachi.
"ITACHI!!" yelled Sasuke. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!"
"Before you start your feudal attempts to kill me, take a look at this." Itachi said, handing Sasuke a piece of paper. Sasuke swiped it away and looked at it briefly.
"What is this?" he demanded.
"Well, as you probably know, I just turned eighteen." Said Itachi, welcoming himself into Sasuke's humble little abode as Kisame quickly followed after him. "Which means I am now old enough to legally be your guardian. And I do not believe that it is right for a boy as young as you to be alone and taking care of yourself without any supervision."
Sasuke crumpled up the piece of paper and tossed it to the floor. "GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!!" he yelled.
"It's OUR house now!" said Itachi.
"NO IT'S NOT!!" yelled Sasuke.
"I can do the ironing!" said Kisame, raising his hand.
"Sasuke, you should see Kisame with the iron." Said Itachi.
"I CAN IRON JUST FINE!!" Sasuke yelled himself hoarse.
"So, now that I'm head of this household, a few things are going to change around here." Said Itachi, looking around the house. "First of all, there will be a dress code! You know, one of the reasons why I killed the clan is because I can't stand those Uchiha fans, so no more wearing those! Am I understood?"
Sasuke looked down to see that he was wearing his pajamas with hundreds of little Uchiha fans on them.
"NO!" he yelled, sounding more and more like a little kid. "This is MY house! You don't have any right to walk in here and start making rules! And you ESPECIALLY don't have any right to walk in here and start making rules since you killed the clan!"
"SECOND," Itachi continued. "I'm head of the household, we've already covered that. You, on the other hand…I don't like to use the word 'slave' but you get the idea, right?"
"ITACHI, IF YOU DON'T LEAVE NOW I'LL KILL YOU!!" Sasuke yelled.
Itachi chuckled rather warmly. "I'd like to see you try!" he laughed. "The next rule of the house is…uh… keep the place tidy! Kisame?"
Kisame took the bowl of Ninja Pebbles on the table and put it in the sink.
"I was eating that!!" Sasuke said angrily.
"You didn't LOOK like you were eating it." said Itachi. "You looked more like you were standing there screaming at the top of your lungs."
"I WAS eating it before you came in here and imposed yourself on me and my lifestyle!!" Sasuke said.
"Fourthly, no trying to kill me." Itachi said. "It just creates a MESS! And I really hate using that…er… Sharingan move… that I have…"
Sasuke was just about to start yelling again but then he stopped.
"What?" he said.
"You know, that EVIL one." Said Kisame.
"I dare not even mention its name." Said Itachi. "For even saying what it is called with have effect on your little mind and unpowerful… being. And it will probably end up sending you into a stupor for another month."
Sasuke eyed the two of them.
"What about PETS?" Sasuke said finally. "I know you're allergic, but can I have a pet anyway?"
"Oh." Said Itachi. "Er…yes, I am TERRIBLY allergic. So no pets."
"HA!" laughed Sasuke. "You're not Itachi! You're just someone who WISHES he was Itachi."
"I have developed allergies in the time in which we have not been together!" Itachi said. "Besides, KISAME has allergies too!"
"Though I don't know why you would wish you were Itachi…" Sasuke said, not really listening. "Because his days are numbered…"
"I AM Itachi!" said Itachi.
Just then, there was scratching from the door. Sasuke opened up the door to see Akamaru standing there, looking a little sad. He looked around the room for a moment and then spotted Itachi and Kisame. He barked and frolicked over to Kisame.
"Oh, look, this dog likes me for some reason." Said Kisame.
"And me with my allergies." Said Itachi, stepping away.
"Shh!!" said Kisame. "Don't give it AWAY!"
Sasuke slapped his forehead and shook his head. He felt a little stupid that he had fallen for it, but his ambition to smite them both for pulling this trick on him pretty much canceled out any feeling of stupidity that he was experiencing.
"It was Lee's idea!!" said Itachi. He poofed and suddenly turned into Naruto after he realized that Sasuke knew what was going down. Kisame poofed and appeared as Kiba.
Sasuke looked out the window just in time to see Lee ducking away.
Sasuke took a deep breath and looked at Kiba and Naruto.
"Haha… pretty funny huh?" said Kiba.
"Kiba…I used to have nothing against you." Said Sasuke. "But now… now… Naruto. You have no excuse. You two had better run now and run fast."
"I'm all for that!" said Kiba as he grabbed Akamaru and ran out of the room faster than Lee without his weights on. Naruto wasn't far behind as Sasuke stood there with aura flying around him. I swear, if he was a Dragon Ball Z character, he definitely would have turned into a Super Saiyan right then and there.