Naruto Primer Lost Chapter: The Men

Testosterone

Well…we seem to be writing a lot of chapters about JUST the men. Probably because… they're… cooler… ANYWAY!! kenthegreat1 suggested this idea especially for us. It was quite a challenge for us since we don't normally do this sort of stuff. But here we go anyway!!

It had all started with a little argument between some of the guys. They were all arguing about who was better. For one reason or another, seven of the eight guys got involved. Finally, Shikamaru was able to break it up by reminding them all that he was a chuunin so therefore HE was the best. He was hoping that that would end the argument.

So…the argument took off from there on the debate about who was the SECOND best, next to Shikamaru. Since Shikamaru wanted this stupid thing to be over so he could go back to looking at the clouds, he suggested a tournament.

None of the guys objected because they all believed that they were the best.

"Okay, the only problem is, there are seven people so one person will have to fight one less fight." Shikamaru said to the other seven on the decided day of the tournament.

Just then, Kankuro walked in. "All right, where's Pat Sajack and my ten thousand dollars?" he said.

Then he noticed everyone standing around staring at him.

"…" he said.

"I invited Kankuro to fill the extra space." Shino said.

"More like TRICKED!!" Kankuro yelled. He didn't even know why he was there but he knew that if Shino had invited him then it would probably end in a fight.

He was right. "We're having a tournament." Shikamaru said. "And you're now in the eight slot."

"No way!" said Kankuro as he started to leave.

"That's all right." Said Sasuke. "I know I'm better than him anyway."

"Yeah…" everyone else agreed.

"In THAT case, I'm definitely staying!!" said Kankuro, whipping out his puppet and stomping over.

Shikamaru had them all pick a number out of a hat to make sure it was fair. "Okay, the first fight will be between Kankuro and Sasuke." Said Shikamaru, writing the names on an easel.

"You're obsolete." Said Sasuke to Kankuro. "You might as well not fight."

"Well, if you're scared, I can understand that." Kankuro said.

Sasuke looked offended. "I am NOT scared." He said.

"Sure, sure." Said Kankuro.

Shikamaru cleared his throat before the fight could start prematurely. "The second fight is between Kiba and Lee." He said.

"LAME!" said Kiba. "I don't want to have to fight Lee."

"All I have to do is beat Kiba and hope that Sasuke beats Kankuro and then I'll get to fight Sasuke!!" said Lee enthusiastically, punching the air.

"I was hoping to get someone I could beat so I could at least get to the second round…" Kiba said sadly.

"The third fight is between Neji and Chouji." Shikamaru continued.

"Aw man!" said Chouji who was equally unhappy, if not MORE unhappy, than Kiba.

Neji didn't really care who he fought. He knew he was going to win the tournament anyway, even if he DID have French braided hair and did the Macarena. And then maybe everyone would think twice about making fun of him again. He was also glad that Sasuke was in an opposite bracket as him since he was pretty convinced that it would be he and Sasuke in the finals.

"And, finally, the last fight is between Shino and Naruto." Shikamaru finished.

"Can we re-pick the numbers?" Shino asked since he wanted to fight Kankuro and they were on opposite sides of the little… tournament… thing.

"What, you afraid to fight me?!" said Naruto.

Shino only stared at Naruto in response.

"I'LL be the judge." Said Shikamaru, pulling up a chair. "I'll decide when the fight is over."

"Um…!" said Chouji, raising his hand. "Can we make it a rule that you can't… uh… HARM your opponent?" He looked nervously at Neji.

"Chouji, this is a tournament." Shikamaru reminded him. "If you don't want to be harmed, you might as well just drop out now."

"I meant in some kind of horrible and irreversible way." Chouji said.

"Like what?" Shikamaru questioned.

"Like something the opponent could potentially die from." Chouji replied.

"Oh." Said Shikamaru. "You mean… keep it more low key than we normally would? Friendly spars?"

"Yes!" said Chouji. "That's exactly what I meant!"

"But how are we going to be able to judge who's the best if we don't go ALL OUT?!" Lee demanded, getting fiery glowing eyes of passion and youth. He was SO incredibly pumped. He couldn't have been put in a better place for the tournament. He got to fight Sasuke and, if he won, he got to fight Neji! …If Neji beat Shino/Naruto and Chouji that is.

"We can decide prior to the start of each battle whether or not it's important to keep it a spar or go all out." Said Shikamaru. "Okay?"

"OKAY!!" agreed everyone, even Shikamaru.

"So the first fight is Sasuke and Kankuro." Shikamaru announced, raising his arm up in the air. "Is it sparring or real fighting?"

"Real fighting." Sasuke said, glaring at Kankuro.

"Yeah." Kankuro agreed.

"Okay." He said, looking around and then lowering his arm. "Start."