Naruto Primer Lost Chapter: Kiba/Naruto
Emperor Shrag and Zagmyre
This was a request from Spectrum that we looked forward to writing ever since it was requested. WHY we didn't do it earlier is beyond even us but it's getting done so I guess that's all that matters!
"BAM!! KICK!! SMASH!!!"
"YOU MISSED!!"
"I DID NOT!!"
Kiba and Naruto looked up and glared at each other.
"I definitely hit you." Kiba said.
"No." said Naruto. "I had my ninja force field on."
"Ninja force field?!" demanded Kiba. "You don't have a ninja force field!"
"I do now." Naruto said with a scoff.
"I didn't see you activate it." Kiba said.
"It's invisible." Naruto said, sticking out his tongue.
Kiba leaned over and grabbed a large box in the corner of the room. He looked at the back. "The back says nothing about Zagmyer having an invisible ninja force field." He said.
"If Zagmyre can't have an invisible ninja force field then Emperor Shrag can't have his female ninja companion!" Naruto said, picking up a Barbie doll.
"But he's Emperor Shrag!" said Kiba. "He NEEDS a female ninja companion!!"
In case you're a bit confused, Kiba and Naruto had just gotten their hands on a few ninja action figures. You see, they realized that they had a lot in common and shouldn't just be spending time with each other to flee from Itachi. So they purchased some toys and were now sharing some toils.
"I don't care what you say." Said Kiba. "One of Zagmyre's abilities is NOT to have an invisible ninja force field."
"Then you don't get a female ninja companion!!" Naruto said, standing up and heaving the Barbie doll out the window.
"Naruto!" yelled Kiba. "You can't just throw the Barbies out the window! They're my SISTER'S! She'll kill me!"
"Why do you let your sister boss you around?" Naruto said, sitting down again.
"Cause she's older." Said Kiba. "And she's a chuunin. And my mom always takes her side. Akamaru?"
Akamaru barked in response and hopped contently out the window. After a few moments, he returned with the Barbie in his mouth and dropped it on the floor. Then he returned to his home in Kiba's hood.
"Okay, fine." Said Kiba. "If Emperor Shrag doesn't have a female ninja companion, Zagmyre can't have an invisible ninja force field. Agreed?"
"Fine…" said Naruto, rolling his eyes.
"Now…where were we?" said Kiba.
The two of them looked down to their ninja action figures. Simultaneously, they crashed the ninja action figures up against each other while making sound effects and listening to the sound of plastic wreak havoc.
"POW!!" yelled Naruto, lifting one of the arms of Zagmyre.
"AHHHHHHhhhhhhh…" Kiba said as he simulated Emperor Shrag flying across the room in slow motion.
"Dooka dooka dooka dooka!" said Naruto, giving Zagmyre running sound effects.
"WOOSH!!" Kiba yelled as Emperor Shrag bounded off the floor and flew through the air.
"HEY!" said Naruto. "Emperor Shrag can't fly!!"
"He's JUMPING." Said Kiba.
"Emperor Shrag can't jump that high." Naruto said.
"He can if he's fighting on the moon." Kiba pointed out.
Naruto pondered this. "On the moon…" he said, rubbing his chin. Then he looked down at Zagmyre. "BA-DOOM!" he said as Zagmyre jumped off the ground and intercepted Emperor Shrag in the air and what followed was another beautiful serenade of clashing plastic.
The two action figures fell at the same time and Emperor Shrag beat Zagmyre into the ground. "BAAAAAAM!!" Kiba shouted.
"AAARRRGGGA!!" yelled Naruto in the voice of Zagmyre.
"Emperor Shrag is victorious!!" said Kiba, giving Emperor Shrag a victory dance which was more like bouncing the action figure up and down.
"I'm not defeated yet!!" said Naruto as he slowly moved Zagmyre to a sitting up position.
"Yes you are!!" Kiba said, continuing his victory dance ATOP of Zagmyre. It was quite the victory dance.
"OW!" said Naruto. "You crushed my finger!"
"Emperor Shrag apologizes to no one." Kiba said.
"No, Kiba, I'm serious." Said Naruto.
"So am I." Said Kiba.
"Fine, but Zagmyre isn't done." Said Naruto, making Zagmyre jump into the air via zero gravity and then dive bomb Emperor Shrag.
"SLOW MOTION!!" Kiba yelled as he slowly had Emperor Shrag flip to get out of the way.
"FAST MOTION!!!" Naruto yelled, bringing Zagmyre down even faster and smashing right into Emperor Shrag.
"HEY!" said Kiba. "I called Slow Motion! That means everything has to be in slow motion!"
"Zagmyre has super speed." Naruto said.
"Not in slow motion!!" yelled Kiba, getting very agitated. Of course, when Kiba gets agitated, Akamaru does as well and pretty soon, Naruto was being overwhelmed with Kiba AND Akamaru yelling at him.
"IT'S NOT THAT BIG A DEAL!!" yelled Naruto.
"Yes it is!!" said Kiba. "You got a cheap shot!!"
"No I didn't!" said Naruto angrily.
"And besides, Zagmyre doesn't have super speed!" said Kiba. "If ANYONE has super speed, Emperor Shrag does!"
"Why does Emperor Shrag get super speed?!" demanded Naruto.
"Because he's the emperor!" said Kiba as if it was obvious.
"That's just a NAME!!" Naruto yelled.
Akamaru jumped out of Kiba's hood and snagged Zagmyre from Naruto's hands. He shook it around like a chew toy and finally bit off his head.
"MY ACTION FIGURE!!!" yelled Naruto. "That cost $14.99!!"
"Good boy, Akamaru." Said Kiba.
"You're paying for that!" said Naruto.
"I can't be held responsible for something Akamaru does!" said Kiba, getting defensive.
"Even if that WAS true, which it isn't, you DID commend him for ruining my action figure and getting dog drool all over it!!" said Kiba.
"I did not!" Kiba said.
"I JUST SAW YOU!!" screamed Naruto.
Just then, the door opened a crack.
"What's going on in here?" came the voice of Kiba's mom.
"We're playing with action figures!" said Kiba and Naruto at the same time.
"Well, you're being very loud." She continued. "So I want you both to go outside."
"Okay mom…" said Kiba sadly as he grabbed Emperor Shrag and stood up. Naruto grabbed Zagmyre and Zagmyre's head and followed Kiba outdoors where they would think up an excuse for the reason why Zagmyre was now missing his head.