Naruto Primer Lost Chapter: All
Resolutions
THIS request came from RurouniGochan. So, without boring you with any more introductions, we will now begin the chapter!!!!!!!!
"10…9…8…7…6…5…4…3…2…1!!"
"HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!" everyone screamed as they exploded their party poppers and blew on their noisemakers. The confetti was EVERYWHERE and got in everyone's hair but they all loved it.
After the commotion died down, they all had the opportunity to reflect on the year.
"All in all, I think this year has been quite the successful one." Said Kakashi. "And I have decided to make a New Year's resolution!"
"Oh?" said everyone else.
"I have decided that I'm going to compete with you three less." Said Kakashi. "It just tortures our students and ruins our relationships."
"Amen." Said the students.
"What a great idea, Kakashi!" said Gai. "And I'm going to make that very same resolution!"
"As am I!" said Asuma.
"Me too!" finished Kurenai.
"How about you, team?" said Gai. "Any New Year's resolutions?"
"No." Neji sighed.
"Well, now I'm REQUIRING that you all think up a New Year's resolution!" announced Gai.
"Thanks a lot, Neji." Said Tenten.
"He asked me a question and because I answered it not to the standards that he wanted, we all get punished." Said Neji even though it was obvious.
"Well, I know I have a resolution!!" said Lee, standing up as his eyes glowed and burst into flames. "I am going to become a great ninja using only taijutsu!! I will enter the next chuunin exam and… BECOME A CHUUNIN!!!"
Asuma laughed. "Shikamaru is ALREADY a chuunin!" he said.
Everyone stared at him.
"I know." Said Lee. "I was talking about me."
"Oh." Said Asuma. "I thought you were talking about Shikamaru."
"Speaking of Shikamaru, does he have any resolutions?" Kurenai said. "To become a jounin maybe?"
"Yeah!" said Asuma. "Shikamaru, do you have a resolution to become a jounin?"
Shikamaru tried not to roll his eyes. "My New Year's resolution…is… I'm going to get motivated to find my favorite shirt. I don't have to actually find it, but I'm going to be motivated to do so."
Asuma slapped his cheeks and his cigarette fell out of his gaping mouth as he melted into a pile of goo.
"Shikamaru, you're so lazy!" said Ino, looking thoroughly annoyed. "MY New Year's resolution is to do something about your annoying laziness!!"
"You don't HAVE to." Said Shikamaru.
"But I'm going to." Ino said. "I can't stand it anymore."
"What do you plan on doing?" Shikamaru asked.
"I don't know." Said Ino. "Maybe…FORCING you to come to the gym and work out every once and a while. Chouji too, I guess."
"Wow!" said Chouji. "And my New Year's resolution is to lose some weight! So we can all work on our resolutions together! AS A TEAM!!"
"That's the spirit!" said Asuma, coming back to life and lighting a new cigarette. He hugged his wonderful team.
"Well, my New Year's resolution is SO much better than all of yours!" said Naruto, standing up and pointing to himself. "I'm going to challenge Sasuke to a fight and BEAT him! How about them apples, Sasuke?"
Sasuke didn't say anything for a long while. He just sat there looking cool. Finally, he unfolded his hands and leaned back in his chair. "My New Year's resolution is to become strong enough to kill Itachi." He said plainly.
"WHAT?!" demanded Naruto. "Not to defeat me?!"
"I can do that any time I want." Sasuke said.
"THAT'S NOT TRUE!!!" yelled Naruto, throwing a temper tantrum.
"I have a resolution too!" said Sakura. "I want to become a great ninja just like YOU, Sasuke!" She looked at Sasuke and tried to see if he was impressed but he was so far from it.
"I have a similar resolution, Sakura." Said Hinata. "I want to become a better ninja as well. But I also want to change myself."
"In what way?" asked Kurenai, genuinely interested.
"Oh…I'm not sure." Said Hinata, blushing slightly since she had accidentally brought all the attention to herself. "I just want to change so I can be different than I am now."
"That's a GREAT New Year's resolution, Hinata!" said Kiba. "And MY resolution is…" Kiba suddenly stopped and realized that he didn't want to share his resolution to with the group. He would look like a pussy if he had just shouted, "TO INTEROPERATE MY HOROMONES AND ASK HINATA OUT ON A DATE!!!"
"Is…" Shino led.
"…Is…to…" Kiba said slowly. "Cook outdoors… and fix things…"
"That's a strange New Year's resolution." Shino said.
"And pump lots of iron!!" Kiba said if Shino had rudely cut him off.
"Okay, Kiba." Said Shino, rolling his eyes. But it's not like anyone knew.
"That's…WONDERFUL!" said Kurenai even though she was secretly offended because she thought that Kiba was making fun of her in some strange way.
"What about YOU Shino?" said Kiba. "What weird and not normal thing do YOU have in mind for this year?"
"I want to skydive." Shino answered.
At first, no one responded.
"That Shino!" laughed Gai. "So unpredictably predictable!!"
"What?" said everyone else.
"ANYWAY!!!" Gai said. "Back to my team!! Tenten and Neji? What do YOU two plan on doing this year?"
"I'm going to get more involved in the community!" Tenten said. "AND I'm going to work on my ninjutsu and genjutsu! And…taijutsu! I'm going to become a great ninja like Tsunade AND get my name known around the village more!"
"That's an excellent goal, Tenten!!" said Gai, giving Tenten the thumbs up and letting his teeth PING!! "And last, but CERTAINLY not least, NEJI!! What's your New Year's resolution?"
Neji waited for a moment before he spoke. Finally, he answered the question very slowly. "My New Year's resolution is to respect female ninjas more." He said. "No longer will I say that they can never amount to anything or become nearly as strong as male ninjas. In addition, I will attempt to get more in touch with feminine jutsus. Like French Braid no Jutsu."
"WOW!" said Kurenai. "I was just WAITING for you to say that! I do believe you've learned your lesson!"
"I have." Neji said.
"Oh very well!" said Kurenai as she formed a seal and Neji's hair finally fell out of the beautiful French braid.
"Well, what a wonderful New Years we've had!" said Asuma. "Let us all disperse and hurry home to bed! After all, we have training in the morning!!"
Everyone ran off to go home.
"Neji, were you serious about what you said?" Tenten said. "Will you really respect female ninjas more?"
Neji looked at Tenten as if she was stupid. "No one ever keeps to their New Year's resolutions." He said. "I only said that to get Kurenai to undo the jutsu."
"Hey!" said Tenten. "Keep in mind that I know French Braid no Jutsu too!"
"Yeah but you know I'd kill you if you cast it on me." Neji pointed out.
"That's not true!" said Tenten even though it so obviously was.
"Then why aren't you performing the jutsu?" Neji asked.
"Because…um…that would be unoriginal!!" Tenten said as she sprinted away before Neji could kill her. And he would have.