KAI! 2

Ok, welcome to the next instalment of something I write when I have too much coffee... enjoy!

And dankoo to Em the Elf, she rules, and she's met Craig Parker... damn you... I'll never forgive you for not taking me with you... .:glares:.

( ( KAI! ) )

 "Ooooooh...my head..." Kai moaned, rolling over till he was face down, blocking out the tiniest bit of life. This was the downside of drinking...hangovers...although you would have thought the raven haired elf would be used to them, seeing as he woke up with them at least twice a day... damn...he was too lazy even to breathe 'I'll just lay here, not breathing, and try to get some sleep' he thought.

There was a shuffling near him, followed by a gasp and finally a very girly scream.

"OH...MY...GOD!!! MURDER!!! TREACHERY! RAAAAAAAAAPE!! Wait...no...not rape! But the other two!!" It was Kalin, apparently having a seizure of some kind "SOMEONES KILLED KAI!!!!!!!" The younger elf finished.

"Shut uuuuuuuuuuuuup..." The elf in question whined, twitching slightly.

"AH! NO! ZOMBIE!" Kalin squealed, running full pelt at the door, just as someone entered, meaning the raven head smacked into the wooden black and collapsed in a pathetic heap.

"What is going on in here?!" A very p'd off looking Elrond demanded; his brown hair was standing on end and eyes glaring lividly.

"I fink hyou'f b'ocken ma nothe," Kalin muttered, staring at the blood "Blud? BLUD! Hyou'f med ma bled!" He started sounding quite Scottish.

"Would you all just smeg off..." Kai cried pitifully, not able to see a dark aura glow around the elf lord or see his brother back off. He had no idea what was happening until -

( ( 5 hours later ) )

"This is your fault you know..." Kalin muttered, picking another purple flower and sneezing violently. After Elrond was done having a hissy fit at the two brothers for drinking half his wine cellar he had sent them out to collect 'ingredients'. Doesn't sound to bad? Wrong, being the lovely elf that he is, the lord of Rivendell had picked the most potent and dangerous plants and animals he could think of for them to bring back.

"Whatever" Kai growled, grabbing a bright purple snake from the undergrowth and throwing it his basket, which it just slithered out of again and went on its merry way.

"Ok, I've got to ask you" Kalin said after they had been foraging for almost two hours "Why the hell are you naked?"

Kai turned round, flashing a smirk "Elrond said we weren't allowed to wear our nice robes into the forest" The shameless elf explained, seemingly leaving it there.

Kalin rolled his eyes "Yes, I'm aware of that, I think he meant for us to wear our working robes out" He said; indicating to the dark brown tunic he now wore. His brother shrugged.

"He should have been more specific" Kai bent down to grab hold of a deep red weed, not knowing that this certain plant contained teeth.

( ( 5 minutes later ) )

"That's it! I'm going back!" Kai yelled, rubbing his backside, which was now, decorated with many infected-looking bite marks. Kalin was laughing in the background, tears streaming down his face, well he was allowed to, he's just seen his elder brother loose a fight with a plant.

"You – are – so – weak!" He gasped out, falling to his knees. Kai raised an eyebrow, apparently pondering. While the younger elf was distracted his brother took the chance to slip something down his back, something that wouldn't take affect until a bit later.

Turning his back again Kai began walking back towards Rivendell "Come on, we gotta get back" He said, with surprising maturity.

"Oh no you don't" Kalin got to his feet with a stern look "If you think I'm letting you waltz into Rivendell completely starkers you've got another thing coming, dear brother"

"Pfft... there's nothing you can do about it..." The raven head said nonchalantly.

"Kai, I'm begging you! For the sanity of every elf you might traumatize, stay here, I'll bring you back some clothes"

"Nope"

"What?" The younger of the two had a pleading look in his eyes, which turned to frustration as Kai walked off "Gods! You're so embarrassing!"

"I live to serve, little brother"

"Serve who exactly?"

"Myself, of course!"

( ( At Rivendell ) )

Well, to say that Kai got stared was pretty much an understatement. At least 3 elves fainted from the shock with a 4th just sort of twitching quite worryingly. Few noticed the miserable shadow following the tactless elf.

"Lord Elrond!" Kai exclaimed with a bow "We have returned"

"Yes, I can see that" Elrond was shaking, his fist clenched at his side and his teeth being positively worn down. He'd cracked. "THAT IS IT! I WA- "

Before he could go on a cool voice spoke out from behind the lord "Hmm, perhaps you should consider castration for them, Lord Elrond" A blonde haired elf stepped out, looking at Kai with distaste, who had stepped back fearfully.

"Legolas" the elder brother said sweetly, bowing again but noticeably scanning the blonde. Legolas did not look amused.

"Hello Kai, still vibrant I see" He commented offhandedly, Kai grinned and Kalins head shot up unexpectedly. "By the way" Legolas continued, not noticing the younger brothers attempt to stifle a violent twitch "My father sends word, he said the next time one of you two vomits on him again he will personally see to it that you loose any drinking privileges you may have, as well as many vital parts of your anatomy" He smiled, matching Kais voice with sweetness.

Before Kai could come out with any crude comment, there was a disturbance...of the large kind "YIKES!" Kalin yelled, falling on the floor, and appearing to have a seizure. Whilst all the elves gazed at him with perplexed or frightened look, Kai grinned "Ah so it worked..." He began laughing "Ooh Legolas, have you been working out?" He tried the corny chat up line, hoping to seduce the blonde prince...but ended up with a punch in the face...

( ( KAI! ) )

Soz this took so long...writers block, ya know?