A fresh red rose smell floated in the air. The smell slowly drifted towards my nose allowing me to sniff in a delightful rose fragrance. It's something you don't notice all the time. Like how good a flower smells or how lucky you are. You don't realize these things until the flower has withered away or has been plucked from your garden.

After it's gone. You want it back, more then anything. You reach out to take it back but you can't have it. It belongs to someone else now. The things you lost will remain lost. It's like a relationship. Everything is going great until some sleazy girl comes and takes your man. Then you want him back. You cry for him and plead for him not to leave you. Then he leaves.

There was nothing I could do. He liked Manny more then me I guess. Those two wonderful years we put into are relationship didn't matter anymore. It was all gone. We went through a lot together. He was there for my trial. He was my protection. My knight in shining armer.

Sometimes when we were together. I would get caught up in the moment. The softness of his lips brushed against mine as we shared a sweet kiss. The way he use to love the taste of my lip gloss.

All that is gone now. Everything we shared. Taken from me like a thief in the night. No one cared if Paige got hurt. I'm suppose to be strong. I can handle this heartache. The hell with what I feel.

I try not to think about it. Spinner is still present within my thoughts. It's like I can never get over it. I'm just a pay check to him now. I have to pay for his car. My heart is shredded into millions of tiny pieces and all he can worry about is his car.

I feel loveless. Like I can never love someone again. The things I shared with Spinner. Their all gone. I lost a piece of me. No one will ever care for me the way Spin did. No one will ever say "Honey bee" quite the same way. Sure Spin was goofy, but are relationship was what kept me grounded. It was what I held on to when I needed hope.

When you care for someone the way I cared for Spin. When you lose them... you lose everything. You lose yourself. My eyes rain with tears now. I have cried way to long. It is a damn shame I pour my eyes out for him and he is off being happy. Not caring at all.

If Spinner wants Manny that is fine with me. She can have him. I don't want someone that will cheat, then deceive. He lied to me. By saying he cared and loved me. It wasn't true.

If you care for someone, then you would never hurt them. The pain I feel now is worse then I have ever felt. It's worse then chipping a nail. Hell, I would chip all my nails just to get him back.

I never thought I would feel this way. I'm suppuse to be strong. Everyone thinks of me as some catty diva. Now I know... I know what it feels to lose something that means the world.

Now I know how Ash felt with Craig. I understand why she was so blue. I'm blue now too. I have to move on though.

I will have to slowly pick up all the smashed pieces of my heart and reassemble them. There will always be one piece missing. A piece that I can never get back. That piece belongs to my first love. The person that use to bring me hope. It's a damn shame it has to be this way. To end all of this and lose everything we had together.

I guess my love is like rose. I smell sweet but then I'm plucked from the garden. Like a weed. I am left alone, heart broken.