Iceworm- I sort of see what you're saying. Just to clarify: Seth has been to Chino at least 3 times. Once he was with the female prostitute, once with Ryan and another time looking for Ryan, but there were also a few weeks where he wrestled with his feelings.

Thanks for the reviews. :)

This is rated R.

Seth was back in Chino. He came every Friday. Literally.

As soon as school was out, he raced home to change and then headed back out just so he could catch Ryan as he walked to the corner. Seth always overpaid and he told himself it was because he had the money and that it had nothing to do with wanting Ryan all to himself, even though he was pretty sure on Friday's he had become his one and only client. Seeing Ryan beaten up had jarred him; it made everything real. Ryan wasn't some imaginary friend Seth had made up, he was a real live, living and breathing, human being and he was really down on his luck. Seth couldn't push down the need to want to help him nor the need to want to be near him. It was sick the amount of time and energy he wasted thinking about Ryan and coming up with a plan to help him. Even sicker was that he still took advantage of him knowing what it must have felt like for Ryan; knowing it cost the other boy his dignity.

But he couldn't stop.

Ryan was leaning against a wall--wife-beater in his back pocket, foot pushing against the bricks, eyes closed--when Seth pulled up next to him and honked. Ryan opened his eyes and turned them on Seth. The sun shone against them, illuminating their blue colour and Seth sucked in a breath. He'd never seen anyone look that beautiful before and it wasn't even because he got his dick rock hard in .02 seconds either. It was...too hard to explain. Seth continued to stare as Ryan made his way to the Range Rover, pulling his shirt on over his head. They knew each other now; knew what to expect and what not to.

He told himself he was going to have to stop coming here, stop soliciting Ryan's services - his Bar Mitzvah money could only go so far and sooner or later one of his parents were going to notice his dwindling funds.

He had noticed, once or twice, that Ryan was hard while he sucked Seth off, but he'd never asked for more than a blow job or hand job -he couldn't make himself ask for more and he wasn't sure he knew exactly how to ask for more or if he even wanted it.

Ryan got into the car and they drove to the abandoned hotel like they did every time. Seth stopped the car and faced Ryan. He'd had a speech planned, more or less, for a week and now his mind was drawing a blank. He cleared his throat, averted his eyes. "You don't have to do this," he said when Ryan went for his belt. "I mean, couldn't we just...talk?" He tentatively placed his hand over Ryan's.

Ryan bowed his eyes. "I need the money. I told you, I don-"

Seth cut in. "I'll pay you anyway, just...have coffee with me or something."

Ryan looked sceptical.

Seth took out his wallet and pulled out three twenties and a fifty dollar bill. "One-ten for you to have coffee with me."

Ryan eyed the money. Seth pulled out another fifty dollars. "One hundred and sixty dollars." He shrugged. "That's all I got."

Ryan swiped the money and looked ahead. "Fine."

Seth smiled, he wasn't exactly sure what he was doing. They pulled into a diner a few blocks away and Seth followed Ryan inside. They sat in a booth beside a beat up jukebox that was playing some sad Patsy Cline song. Her voice came out low with a vibrating twang. Seth had never been a fan of this type of music, but he could feel and hear the words wrapping around him, trying to strangle him with guilt. Ryan looked out the window.

Seth bounced around in his seat with nervous energy. "Get whatever you want. I mean, if you're hungry, get some food or, you know, whatever."

The waitress came over and placed menus and two glasses of ice water in front of them. Ryan picked his up and took a long gulp, snagging a piece of ice in his mouth and rolling it around his tongue. Seth watched; his dick twitched in his pants. The conversation was polite and constipated.

The waitress was back, she took the pencil from behind her ear and the notepad from her pocket and looked between the two boys expectantly. "What'll it be?"

"Double cheeseburger, well-done, no onions, fries, coleslaw and a Coke," Ryan said abruptly, handing the menu back.

Seth smiled at the waitress. "Just coffee for me, please."

"Be back in a jiffy, boys!" she exclaimed a little too chipper and waddled away.

Seth rubbed his neck, he'd been out in the boat this week and had forgotten sun screen. He'd come home with a terrible burn and his Mother fussed over him and followed him around with Aloe Vera until he'd retreated to his room. It was just starting to peel and itched like crazy.

Seth's eyes flickered to Ryan. He hesitated before speaking. There were so many things he wanted to know about Ryan, so many questions that he wanted answers to. There was one more pressing than any other. "That girl, the one I always see you with, the pretty one? Is she your girlfriend?"

Ryan smirked, his eyes glinting from the flourescent lights overhead. It was the first time Seth had ever seen any real emotion from the boy.

"Theresa? No," he said and his smile increased. "Nah, she's just a friend. She's like my sister." Ryan straightened, catching himself. When he spoke again his mask was back in place. "I look out for her."

Seth's next question was automatic. "Who looks out for you?"

"I do," Ryan answered firmly.

Seth could see the pain hiding behind the blue of his eyes. He'd been hurt; hurt in ways Seth couldn't even imagine. "Don't you have parents?"

"Dad's in jail."

Seth's shoulders slumped. "And your Mom?"

He looked off to the side as he answered. "Who knows."

"Are you in school?" Seth absently played with a sugar packet, anything to keep his hands occupied.

Ryan shook his head no. "Dropped out after my Mom split and my brother took off, been on my own ever since."

"What about the future?" Seth wanted to smack himself as soon as the question left his mouth. God, he sounded like his father.

Ryan shrugged. "What about it?"

"I dunno, you just seem too smart to be..." Seth cleared his throat. "You just seem smart is all. Don't you have any plans, any dreams?"

Ryan leaned forward, got close to Seth's face, close enough for Seth to smell the smoke on his breath. "Let me tell you something, okay. Where I'm from? havin' a dream doesn't make you smart, knowing it won't come true? that does."

The waitress set the food in front of them before Seth got a chance to get in any more questions.

"Thanks," he said picking up the packet of sugar he'd abandoned from the table and stirring it into the piping hot coffee.

He didn't speak after that, just watched Ryan. Ryan scarfed the food down as if it had been the only thing he'd had to eat in a long while and Seth wasn't sure that was entirely untrue. When he was done, he pulled a pack of cigarettes from his pocket and lit one with a match. "Want one?"

Seth held his hands in front of him. "No, uh, that's okay, I hear those things can kill ya."

"There are worse things than being dead," Ryan remarked lowly. Seth nodded though he didn't really know what was worse than death. He was sure Ryan had seen a lot of ugliness in his short life, but enough to want to be dead?

When it came time to pay the check, Seth pulled a twenty from his sock. "For emergencies," he said as Ryan glared at him.

"I thought you said you didn't have any more money?" Ryan asked, leaning across the table and for the first time Seth was scared.

"I-I-" Seth stuttered, "forgot. Sometimes I hide money on my body so the jerks at school can't take it. Not that they need the money," he said with disdain, "they just get-off on taking it from me."

Ryan seemed to relax. The seconds that passed were weighted by tension and unease.

"I don't have a lot of friends," Seth admitted, hoping it came out casual. "I sorta thought maybe...we could, you know..."

Ryan scoffed. "You want me to be your friend?"

Seth shrugged. He didn't want it to be about the money anymore. He didn't want this servant/master relationship that they had developed out of circumstance to stand. "I just thought-"

Ryan cut him off. "Listen, Kid," Ryan said pointedly, "you don't know guys like me. You don't want me as your friend."

"I think you're cool." This time he more than regretting his words; he knew he'd just blown it. It seemed so easy in his head, but inevitably he'd screwed it up like he did most things.

"Cool?" Ryan asked bitterly. "I've sucked your cock for fuck's sake, you can't just pretend that didn't happen."

Seth's face tinged red, he could feel people looking their way. Ryan got out of the booth and headed for the exit. Seth sat there in shock for a minute before dropping the twenty on the table and rushing outside. The streets were empty save for a homeless man pushing a grocery cart and searching the garbage for tin cans.

"Fuck!" He reached in his pocket and pulled out his keys, turned the corner and got into the car.

He thought about going back to the corner Ryan and Theresa were always on but he checked his watch and thought better of it, if he got home too late he ran the risk of being grounded and he couldn't let anything get in the way of his visits to Chino.