Okay, so that had been lame. Sam made a face up at the shadows. ::Teal'c is a bad influence on me. ::
There was a vague mutter from him about science fiction and its detriment of society.
::It's your own fault for giving him a VCR, sir.:: She pointed out, wishing she could move. Run and dance, leap and soar. This stupid cat scan was really beginning to irritate her.
::Yeah, but he looked so damn cute when he asked for it. How could I resist?::
::Telling a jaffa 'no' should be easy, Jack. You just shake your finger at him and tell him he's been a bad boy.:: There was something wrong, she thought. Something swirly and blue and gold.
::...my. The mental images.::
A blink, and she could see more colors above her. ::I think one of those needly-thingies stuck me with drugs. Damn.::
::...drugs?::
::Drugs. I think they're trying to put me to sleep like a cat nobody wants anymore.:: Her mind wandered, her eyes unfocusing as her head began to swim upstream. ::Have you ever had a cat, Jack? They're cute. They purr and shed -- I used to have a white cat named Sheba, and I could never wear anything but white because she'd shed all over me.:: I'm rambling, she wanted to say, but couldn't.
::Stay with me, Carter. I'll get you a cat if you do.::
The world shifted, and she realized she was back in the infirmary proper. General O'Neill was scowling at her.
"Jack says he's getting me a cat."
Dr. Fraiser eyed her, then shook her head. And whispered. Unfortunately, Sam felt like someone had turned the volumn up on her hearing. Every word echoed in her brain. "She appears to be perfectly normal except for some protein and naquadah. And there's no symbiote."
"You're certain?"
"As I can be, sir."
"Thank you, Dr. O'Neill."
::I think they're the truth kind of drugs. There should be men in pin stripe suits now to question me about my mafia connections. And could I have a little black one?:: Sam decided to ignore the other people.
::I'll get you the nicest little black cat I can find.::
::The other you didn't smile when I told him that.:: In fact, he was still staring at her suspiciously. ::They think I'm a spy, although they know I'm not a goa'uld anymore. Janet keeps staring at me like she's seen a ghost. Which is funny, since that's what I keep thinking.::
::The other me is a moron.::
::I'll pass that on.:: "General O'Neill, sir? You're a moron. My General O'Neill said to tell you that. Well, he didn't say to tell you, but he said it, and I wanted to tell you, because you are."
Several expressions crossed the man's face, and Janet actually gaped at her.
Sam giggled, then winced as her head began to pound. "What the hell did you give me?" ::They don't seem impressed, Jack.::
::Not appreciating my finely-honed humor...:: Jack said dryly.
::I've always appreciated it, Jack.:: The room began to tilt suddenly, and she swore softly. ::I bet they didn't compensate for my screwy biology when they stuck me. Stupid stupid people.:: The world began to grey out.
::Jack?:: He sounded startled. Ah. He'd noticed.
::It seems silly to call you 'sir' when I'm stuck in another universe.:: She explained, aware she was rambling. Aware she needed to shut up, but not quite able to. ::Besides, the last time you were a figment of my imagination, I... Ow. I think they noticed the wooziness. Janet's waving a large blinding light in my eyes.::
::Tell her to get lost. What about the last time I was a figment of your imagination?:: NOW he was interested.
Just like a man. But cliches were cliches for a reason. ::You weren't you. Well, you were my mind's conception of you. Ow. But that was because I'd hit my head. I couldn't even --::
"Colonel Carter, whoever you think you hear isn't there." Janet's voice was soft, but she was still waving a needle at Sam.
::Ow. Janet seems to think you're still not there. Hah. A lot SHE knows. Stupid medical Napoleonic power monger. The other you is now consulting with... Daniel and Jonas? Wow. They're uh.... Wow, these must be really good drugs. I'd swear Daniel and Jonas were holding hands...::
::Oh, uh...::
::You told me you were the safe bet. Hah. I told me you were the safe bet. A million to one odds in a galaxy full of black holes, is what you really are. I told Pete that, once, but he didn't understand me.:: Now she was definitely rambling. She should have stopped talking hours ago. Before the mirror. Before they understood what this was. Because she could feel her sense of self eroding, even as she told Jack O'Neill things she hadn't, and wasn't planning to.
::...the safe bet?
"You had a strange reaction to one of the tranquilizers." Janet was back, poking at her arm. "I gave you a stabilizer, but I need to take a little more blood."
"Damnit, Janet, you always were nothing but a Napoleonic power-monger." The moment the words left her mouth, Sam froze. Erk. She really hadn't mean to say that. But she was getting tired of giving blood. At this rate, she'd have no blood left by the time the day was done.
::Janet said I'm having a bad reaction to something or other. She's given me something to counter it.:: She told him, because she had to tell him something, and explaining her feelings was currently out of the question. The room was still shifting in and out of focus. Janet had gone, and she could hear things, but not completely.
Having Jack O'Neill talking was the only thing keeping her grounded. ::Good. Now, you were saying about safe bets?::
::Jonas just called me Jolinar.:: I'm not Jolinar, she wanted to yell. And then realized to her horror that she had. The other people in the room focused on her. ::Um, I guess I shouldn't have yelled about that. I'm not Jolinar anymore. And I don't want to talk about it.::
::Er...all right. And of course you aren't Jolinar.::
::Right. That's what I said. But they were very insistant, and... I think that's why they don't like me.:: She was confused, because she couldn't be Jolinar and not have a symbiote which meant... the thought escaped her. She knew it meant something, but not what. Frustrated, Sam growled softly.
::Well, they're morons too.::
::When I get back, I promise to never ever go through that stupid mirror ever again. And I'm hitting Daniel for finding it and suggesting this plan.:: At least her inner monologue was coherent. Mostly.
::I'll help you.::
::Good. Oo. The condemned get lunch. Ick. It's infirmary food. Janet must still be pissed about the Napoleon crack. You're a bad influence, Jack.:: She poked at the tray and made a face. She might (probably should) be hungry, but it really didn't look appetizing.
A cough. ::Sorry, Carter.::
::Huh. Two of the SFs are giving me strange looks. Now what? It's not like I'm talking out loud to myself.:: She scowled at them, and they looked away. Good. She was suddenly reminded. ::Hey. Weren't you going to tell me a story?::
::Uh, sure.:: He sounded uncertain.
Sam let a smirk touch her lips, prepared to tease him about it, but then the General reappeared. Not her General, of course. No, she couldn't get THAT lucky. Ever. ::Ah, the Moronic General O'Neill has come to tell me my fate. Hold off on the story.::
::Too bad I can't tell him to get lost.::
"General, Jack says to get lost." She said cheerfully.
"Colonel Carter, if that's who you are, whoever this Jack of yours is, he's obviously a figment of your imagination." The man looked irritated.
She had to admit, it probably was irritating. But she also had Jack O'Neill in her head. "Look, General, I can't help being telepathically linked to the General O'Neill from my universe, so you'll have to suck it up."
A slight smile touched his lips, then he straightened. "Then tell that figment that, like me, he's a pain in the ass."
::He says to tell you that, figment of my imagination or not, you're a pain in the ass. I agree. But I kind of like you anyway.:: She added, just in case he was worried. And he could be worried, after the stupid crap she'd said before. Not that she was completely sure what that was.
::Of course you do.:: He was probably smirking smugly. Damn him.
The next few minutes passed in a blur of explanation that left her gaping, and then sighing. She closed her eyes, and informed Jack. ::Huh. Okay, so, in this universe, Jolinar is still alive and well. And living in my body. Ugh. Which means they're going to let me come home. Good. But they're still not certain I'm not a za'tarc... For cryin' out loud, they're gonna make me get analyzed by Anise and her machine.:: Sam dropped her head into her hands, groaning. ::WHAT have I done to deserve this?::
::Agreed to join the SGC?::
Oh, great. HE could joke about it. She decided not to speak to him anymore, and got up to follow the General and his SFs. They walked down the normal, grey, faceless corridors, and came to a room she remembered well. One she hated remembering, if the truth were known. Anise (or Freya, as the host was known) was inside, full lips pouting as she sported another ugly costume. Well, at least some things stayed the same.
They directed her to the chair, and she broke her silence. ::Have I mentioned how much I hate Anise before? Because I do. I really really do.::
::I hate her too.:: There was something almost comforting about his tone. Like a warm fluffy blanket.
She latched onto him, letting them strap her down. ::I hate being strapped into this stupid chair.::
And the questions began. Her life history, the Tok'ra, the goa'uld. Specific missions. And Sam considered lying and ranting at them, but that wouldn't help. She wasn't sure why they thought she would be a Tok'ra, but she assumed they were expecting them at the drop of a hat.
And then Anise's tactics changed. By then, of course, Sam was barely awake. There had been occasional comments to Jack, and his snarky replies, but even then she knew she'd lost time in the stillness of the SGC.
"How would you describe your relationship with General O'Neill?"
::Oh, god-damnit, I didn't think Anise could get any more vapid. Now she's asking me about my relationships! Why? So she can figure out how to get into General O'Neill's pants? She sure as hell can't get Dr. Jackson,:: Sam snickered. ::Unless he and Jonas are into sharing.:: To Anise, she said, "I really don't think that's any of your business."
::...and is it common for women to want to get into General O'Neill's pants?::
"Actually, Colonel Carter, I believe it has everything to do with the way you believe you are telepathically linked to him," The Tok'ra corrected calmly.
"I don't want to be." Damn. That had probably registered as a lie. ::Yes? I mean, hell, what woman in her right mind wouldn't want to?::
::I'm flattered.::
::You should be. Of course, I probably growl at too many of them...:: Where the hell was her brain? ::Damn. I think I'm still drugged.:: A blush colored her cheeks. Damn stupid za'tarc machine.
::You growl at them, huh?::
::You never -- of course you never noticed.:: She refrained from muttering something aloud, but hoped the tone translated well. ::The man can turn a goa'uld mother ship on a dime, but he didn't notice I growl at women....::
::So...you want to come with me to pick out that kitten, Carter?::
::Sure. If Anise doesn't fry my brain with her stupid machine.:: And they were back to missions, this time starting from her first encounter with the stargate.
::And...uh...I'll be glad to help you look after it.:: He sounded almost tentative. For Jack O'Neill to sound tentative -- hrm. Maybe he'd accidentally gotten drunk.
Not commenting on that, Sam instead complained, ::This could be a while. She's going through almost every mission I've been on. If my hands weren't strapped down, I'd shake my fist at her for wasting my time. Hrm. You know, I'm still alive in this reality. I wonder how long it'll be before I start suffering Entrophic Cascade Failure...::
::Have you told them that? Because if they wind up hurting one of my best officers, I will be pissed.::
Aw. Made her feel all warm and fuzzy. Or maybe that was the embarrassment. She could remember saying things, earlier. About halucinations and him and safe bets. ::Tok'ra Spice has paused in her questioning. I think Janet is informing her of the problem. Maybe I should apologize for the Napoleon remark.::
::If it would keep her from sticking you with more needles.::
::...I just had a thought. Since when is Anise so easily accesible? Is she a fixture of this SGC? (oh, the horror...No wonder Daniel went gay) Ah. Janet's mentioning the cascade thingie. Good.::
::I always liked her.::
::She just got the strangest look on her face when I said that. Oh, fun. More questions...::
::Hey, Anise! Ask Carter where she keeps her tequila!::
There was a vague mutter from him about science fiction and its detriment of society.
::It's your own fault for giving him a VCR, sir.:: She pointed out, wishing she could move. Run and dance, leap and soar. This stupid cat scan was really beginning to irritate her.
::Yeah, but he looked so damn cute when he asked for it. How could I resist?::
::Telling a jaffa 'no' should be easy, Jack. You just shake your finger at him and tell him he's been a bad boy.:: There was something wrong, she thought. Something swirly and blue and gold.
::...my. The mental images.::
A blink, and she could see more colors above her. ::I think one of those needly-thingies stuck me with drugs. Damn.::
::...drugs?::
::Drugs. I think they're trying to put me to sleep like a cat nobody wants anymore.:: Her mind wandered, her eyes unfocusing as her head began to swim upstream. ::Have you ever had a cat, Jack? They're cute. They purr and shed -- I used to have a white cat named Sheba, and I could never wear anything but white because she'd shed all over me.:: I'm rambling, she wanted to say, but couldn't.
::Stay with me, Carter. I'll get you a cat if you do.::
The world shifted, and she realized she was back in the infirmary proper. General O'Neill was scowling at her.
"Jack says he's getting me a cat."
Dr. Fraiser eyed her, then shook her head. And whispered. Unfortunately, Sam felt like someone had turned the volumn up on her hearing. Every word echoed in her brain. "She appears to be perfectly normal except for some protein and naquadah. And there's no symbiote."
"You're certain?"
"As I can be, sir."
"Thank you, Dr. O'Neill."
::I think they're the truth kind of drugs. There should be men in pin stripe suits now to question me about my mafia connections. And could I have a little black one?:: Sam decided to ignore the other people.
::I'll get you the nicest little black cat I can find.::
::The other you didn't smile when I told him that.:: In fact, he was still staring at her suspiciously. ::They think I'm a spy, although they know I'm not a goa'uld anymore. Janet keeps staring at me like she's seen a ghost. Which is funny, since that's what I keep thinking.::
::The other me is a moron.::
::I'll pass that on.:: "General O'Neill, sir? You're a moron. My General O'Neill said to tell you that. Well, he didn't say to tell you, but he said it, and I wanted to tell you, because you are."
Several expressions crossed the man's face, and Janet actually gaped at her.
Sam giggled, then winced as her head began to pound. "What the hell did you give me?" ::They don't seem impressed, Jack.::
::Not appreciating my finely-honed humor...:: Jack said dryly.
::I've always appreciated it, Jack.:: The room began to tilt suddenly, and she swore softly. ::I bet they didn't compensate for my screwy biology when they stuck me. Stupid stupid people.:: The world began to grey out.
::Jack?:: He sounded startled. Ah. He'd noticed.
::It seems silly to call you 'sir' when I'm stuck in another universe.:: She explained, aware she was rambling. Aware she needed to shut up, but not quite able to. ::Besides, the last time you were a figment of my imagination, I... Ow. I think they noticed the wooziness. Janet's waving a large blinding light in my eyes.::
::Tell her to get lost. What about the last time I was a figment of your imagination?:: NOW he was interested.
Just like a man. But cliches were cliches for a reason. ::You weren't you. Well, you were my mind's conception of you. Ow. But that was because I'd hit my head. I couldn't even --::
"Colonel Carter, whoever you think you hear isn't there." Janet's voice was soft, but she was still waving a needle at Sam.
::Ow. Janet seems to think you're still not there. Hah. A lot SHE knows. Stupid medical Napoleonic power monger. The other you is now consulting with... Daniel and Jonas? Wow. They're uh.... Wow, these must be really good drugs. I'd swear Daniel and Jonas were holding hands...::
::Oh, uh...::
::You told me you were the safe bet. Hah. I told me you were the safe bet. A million to one odds in a galaxy full of black holes, is what you really are. I told Pete that, once, but he didn't understand me.:: Now she was definitely rambling. She should have stopped talking hours ago. Before the mirror. Before they understood what this was. Because she could feel her sense of self eroding, even as she told Jack O'Neill things she hadn't, and wasn't planning to.
::...the safe bet?
"You had a strange reaction to one of the tranquilizers." Janet was back, poking at her arm. "I gave you a stabilizer, but I need to take a little more blood."
"Damnit, Janet, you always were nothing but a Napoleonic power-monger." The moment the words left her mouth, Sam froze. Erk. She really hadn't mean to say that. But she was getting tired of giving blood. At this rate, she'd have no blood left by the time the day was done.
::Janet said I'm having a bad reaction to something or other. She's given me something to counter it.:: She told him, because she had to tell him something, and explaining her feelings was currently out of the question. The room was still shifting in and out of focus. Janet had gone, and she could hear things, but not completely.
Having Jack O'Neill talking was the only thing keeping her grounded. ::Good. Now, you were saying about safe bets?::
::Jonas just called me Jolinar.:: I'm not Jolinar, she wanted to yell. And then realized to her horror that she had. The other people in the room focused on her. ::Um, I guess I shouldn't have yelled about that. I'm not Jolinar anymore. And I don't want to talk about it.::
::Er...all right. And of course you aren't Jolinar.::
::Right. That's what I said. But they were very insistant, and... I think that's why they don't like me.:: She was confused, because she couldn't be Jolinar and not have a symbiote which meant... the thought escaped her. She knew it meant something, but not what. Frustrated, Sam growled softly.
::Well, they're morons too.::
::When I get back, I promise to never ever go through that stupid mirror ever again. And I'm hitting Daniel for finding it and suggesting this plan.:: At least her inner monologue was coherent. Mostly.
::I'll help you.::
::Good. Oo. The condemned get lunch. Ick. It's infirmary food. Janet must still be pissed about the Napoleon crack. You're a bad influence, Jack.:: She poked at the tray and made a face. She might (probably should) be hungry, but it really didn't look appetizing.
A cough. ::Sorry, Carter.::
::Huh. Two of the SFs are giving me strange looks. Now what? It's not like I'm talking out loud to myself.:: She scowled at them, and they looked away. Good. She was suddenly reminded. ::Hey. Weren't you going to tell me a story?::
::Uh, sure.:: He sounded uncertain.
Sam let a smirk touch her lips, prepared to tease him about it, but then the General reappeared. Not her General, of course. No, she couldn't get THAT lucky. Ever. ::Ah, the Moronic General O'Neill has come to tell me my fate. Hold off on the story.::
::Too bad I can't tell him to get lost.::
"General, Jack says to get lost." She said cheerfully.
"Colonel Carter, if that's who you are, whoever this Jack of yours is, he's obviously a figment of your imagination." The man looked irritated.
She had to admit, it probably was irritating. But she also had Jack O'Neill in her head. "Look, General, I can't help being telepathically linked to the General O'Neill from my universe, so you'll have to suck it up."
A slight smile touched his lips, then he straightened. "Then tell that figment that, like me, he's a pain in the ass."
::He says to tell you that, figment of my imagination or not, you're a pain in the ass. I agree. But I kind of like you anyway.:: She added, just in case he was worried. And he could be worried, after the stupid crap she'd said before. Not that she was completely sure what that was.
::Of course you do.:: He was probably smirking smugly. Damn him.
The next few minutes passed in a blur of explanation that left her gaping, and then sighing. She closed her eyes, and informed Jack. ::Huh. Okay, so, in this universe, Jolinar is still alive and well. And living in my body. Ugh. Which means they're going to let me come home. Good. But they're still not certain I'm not a za'tarc... For cryin' out loud, they're gonna make me get analyzed by Anise and her machine.:: Sam dropped her head into her hands, groaning. ::WHAT have I done to deserve this?::
::Agreed to join the SGC?::
Oh, great. HE could joke about it. She decided not to speak to him anymore, and got up to follow the General and his SFs. They walked down the normal, grey, faceless corridors, and came to a room she remembered well. One she hated remembering, if the truth were known. Anise (or Freya, as the host was known) was inside, full lips pouting as she sported another ugly costume. Well, at least some things stayed the same.
They directed her to the chair, and she broke her silence. ::Have I mentioned how much I hate Anise before? Because I do. I really really do.::
::I hate her too.:: There was something almost comforting about his tone. Like a warm fluffy blanket.
She latched onto him, letting them strap her down. ::I hate being strapped into this stupid chair.::
And the questions began. Her life history, the Tok'ra, the goa'uld. Specific missions. And Sam considered lying and ranting at them, but that wouldn't help. She wasn't sure why they thought she would be a Tok'ra, but she assumed they were expecting them at the drop of a hat.
And then Anise's tactics changed. By then, of course, Sam was barely awake. There had been occasional comments to Jack, and his snarky replies, but even then she knew she'd lost time in the stillness of the SGC.
"How would you describe your relationship with General O'Neill?"
::Oh, god-damnit, I didn't think Anise could get any more vapid. Now she's asking me about my relationships! Why? So she can figure out how to get into General O'Neill's pants? She sure as hell can't get Dr. Jackson,:: Sam snickered. ::Unless he and Jonas are into sharing.:: To Anise, she said, "I really don't think that's any of your business."
::...and is it common for women to want to get into General O'Neill's pants?::
"Actually, Colonel Carter, I believe it has everything to do with the way you believe you are telepathically linked to him," The Tok'ra corrected calmly.
"I don't want to be." Damn. That had probably registered as a lie. ::Yes? I mean, hell, what woman in her right mind wouldn't want to?::
::I'm flattered.::
::You should be. Of course, I probably growl at too many of them...:: Where the hell was her brain? ::Damn. I think I'm still drugged.:: A blush colored her cheeks. Damn stupid za'tarc machine.
::You growl at them, huh?::
::You never -- of course you never noticed.:: She refrained from muttering something aloud, but hoped the tone translated well. ::The man can turn a goa'uld mother ship on a dime, but he didn't notice I growl at women....::
::So...you want to come with me to pick out that kitten, Carter?::
::Sure. If Anise doesn't fry my brain with her stupid machine.:: And they were back to missions, this time starting from her first encounter with the stargate.
::And...uh...I'll be glad to help you look after it.:: He sounded almost tentative. For Jack O'Neill to sound tentative -- hrm. Maybe he'd accidentally gotten drunk.
Not commenting on that, Sam instead complained, ::This could be a while. She's going through almost every mission I've been on. If my hands weren't strapped down, I'd shake my fist at her for wasting my time. Hrm. You know, I'm still alive in this reality. I wonder how long it'll be before I start suffering Entrophic Cascade Failure...::
::Have you told them that? Because if they wind up hurting one of my best officers, I will be pissed.::
Aw. Made her feel all warm and fuzzy. Or maybe that was the embarrassment. She could remember saying things, earlier. About halucinations and him and safe bets. ::Tok'ra Spice has paused in her questioning. I think Janet is informing her of the problem. Maybe I should apologize for the Napoleon remark.::
::If it would keep her from sticking you with more needles.::
::...I just had a thought. Since when is Anise so easily accesible? Is she a fixture of this SGC? (oh, the horror...No wonder Daniel went gay) Ah. Janet's mentioning the cascade thingie. Good.::
::I always liked her.::
::She just got the strangest look on her face when I said that. Oh, fun. More questions...::
::Hey, Anise! Ask Carter where she keeps her tequila!::