Thank you for the replies. Much thanks to Elzed for discussing some things with me. Thank you!
This is rated R.
The sun was shining, the air was hot and they were shopping indoors in a brightly lit boutique cool enough to keep the rich socialites' faces from melting. It was a far cry from Chino.
Ryan didn't want to touch anything. He didn't want to look at anything. He didn't want to be here at all. It was Seth that had dragged him out of a sound sleep with promises of breakfast. A bagel in the car wasn't what he'd been expecting. Food was food, though. Even food on the go still filled a stomach.
The car ride had been quiet. Seth played with the radio stations until his mother swatted his hand away and turned it off. Seth pouted in the front seat reminding Ryan of how very sixteen he still was.
They had to wait for someone to twist the lock to let them in the store. This alone was enough to have Ryan seriously considering making a run for it. If it weren't for his bruised ribs and sore leg, he just might have. Once inside Kirsten had been swept away by some woman wearing too much perfume and a string of pearls while he and Seth were pushed toward a rack of suits.
Ryan watched as Seth tried on suit after suit. When Seth asked him what he thought, Ryan shrugged. They all looked the same to him. Black with buttons. Kirsten, as he'd been told to call her, kept her eyes on Ryan from across the room when she didn't think he noticed. Of course he noticed. He'd trained himself to notice these things.
Kirsten was so different from her dark-mopped husband and son. She was fair, pale blue eyes and peaches and cream skin. She wore expensive business suits and had a body of a woman half her age. She was a piece of Americana. A slice of Newport Beach -minus the plastic surgery. There didn't seem to be anything dangerous about her, but Ryan had learned long ago not to trust appearances alone.
Ryan felt awkward in his torn jeans and scuffed boots. He looked down at his feet on top of the luxurious carpet. Even the floor was better dressed than he was.
"Ryan? How about you try this one on?"
Ryan's head snapped up.
He was surrounded by three different people holding up various parts to some expensive suit. Everyone was doting on him like he was the one with the platinum credit card in his back pocket. It was unsettling.
Ryan stood, taking the pants, jacket and vest from the salespeople. He thought of telling them that there was no need to suck up to him, he wasn't paying, but there wasn't much point in that. They dispersed to harass Kirsten some more. At least she was in just as much agony as he was. He recognized the fake smile.
Crossing paths on the way to the dressing room, Seth stoped him. "Got mine, now it's your turn." He'd found a suit. It was draped over his arm shrouded in white plastic.
"What's the point of this?"
"Dude, I told you already. It's for my grandpa's party."
"Yeah, but why do I need a suit?"
"Because if you wear that," Seth said, looking Ryan up and down, "my grandpa might have a heart attack. Oh, maybe that's a good idea! Not that I don't like my grandfather, 'cause I do, it's just..."
Ryan drowned the rest out as he continued on to the dressing room. He'd go along with this for now. He'd try on the suit and act like everything was okay because right now he didn't have any other choice. All the money he and Theresa had saved had gone with her to Atlanta. Without money he was stuck.
Ryan didn't know what Kirsten expected in return for the suit, but he was sure he would get his answer soon enough. After they'd gotten back, everyone had gone their separate ways to dress for the big event: Seth to his room, Kirsten to hers and Ryan to the pool house.
If he had to admit anything, it would be that in this suit he could pass for a regular teenager. He could blend in, be one of them. But that was a stupid thing to admit to. Because he wasn't one of these people. He didn't have their money or their connections. He didn't want to. Besides, the split lip and bruised eye gave him away.
"Hey, look at you!"
Seth. Ryan hadn't heard him come in. He turned to face him.
"Hey."
"Dude, where's your tie?"
Ryan pointed to the bed where he'd thrown it earlier out of frustration. "Over there."
Seth leaned over and picked it up. "I know they're a pain in the ass, but if we don't wear one grandpa will have a fit."
Ryan took the tie from Seth's outstretched hand and put it around his neck. His fingers were clumsy as they worked an impossible task.
"Did you want me to...?"
Grudgingly, Ryan let his hands fall to his side. Seth smiled and moved closer. Fixing Ryan's collar first, he grabbed the ends of the tie and made one side longer than the other and then did a series of loops that Ryan couldn't follow. "There!" he said and turned Ryan around to face the mirror.
Ryan looked at himself. He could see Seth behind him, smiling.
"My grandpa tried to teach me when I was six, but all he really did was get frustrated and yell at me. When I finally stopped crying, my dad showed me."
"My dad didn't have much use for ties."
Seth cleared his throat. "I have the fondest memories of me and gramps, don't I?"
"Boys?!"
Seth scrambled away from Ryan at the sound of his mother's voice. "In here."
Ryan was weary of Seth and of Sandy, but nothing made him tense up as much as when Kirsten Cohen walked into a room.
She looked at them both, took the time to cast her untrusting eyes on Ryan and smile at Seth. "You go on and talk to your father, I want to speak to Ryan for a minute."
Ryan tensed. Still unclear if he was to provide his services for this woman. He couldn't get a good read from her. With Seth it was simple. Even if Ryan didn't know what he was thinking at first, eventually he just blurted it out.
Kirsten was different, guarded. It was something they had in common. He knew she was appraising him, trying to figure out if he was worthy of her trust. "The suit looks nice."
Ryan nodded. She should like the suit, it was her money that had paid for it.
"Listen, I think we got off on the wrong foot. Seth told me I didn't sound like myself last night-- well, those weren't the words he used, but I didn't want you to misinterpret me. " She laughed lightly, but it quickly faded. "I just wanted to let you know that I meant everything I said."
Ryan managed to find his voice. "Okay."
Kirsten stepped forward. Ryan prepared himself. He let his eyes go blurry in anticipation. He sensed more than saw her approach.
Despite how tense he made his muscles, how much he steeled himself, he still flinched when she reached out and touched him. Kirsten pulled her hand back. When Ryan finally let his eyes regain focus he could see the confusion etched on her face. "Sorry. It was... Your tie was a little crooked. I-I shouldn't have. Seth's always telling me he's not a kid anymore. I guess I just miss... Never mind."
Ryan could feel his heart beating hard in his chest. And just as quickly as she'd entered the pool house, she was gone and Ryan was left standing in the middle of the room still waiting for something to happen.
Caleb had steely blue eyes and an iron grip. He looked past Ryan instead of looking at him and when he shook Ryan's hand, he immediately wiped it with a cocktail napkin as if there was nuclear waste on it. Caleb was the kind of guy that treated his family with respect only when it was convenient. Ryan didn't like the way he kept pestering Seth, even jokingly, about not being strong enough, smart enough, suave enough. The sense of protectiveness that he had for Seth was odd. He didn't like it. Not one bit.
Caleb wasn't the kind of man to stick with one group of people for too long. He was off and speaking to more important people-with his trophy girlfriend on his arm-by the time Seth had completed the introductions. Ryan was glad. He didn't think he could be civil for too much longer.
Ryan was feeling odd enough as it was. Seth kept introducing him to people and parading him around like he was a show pony. This wasn't his scene. These weren't his people. He didn't know what to do, how to act. It was frustrating. He was convinced at any given moment that he was doing something wrong. They were fake people with fake laughs and fake pleasantries. They pretended to want to know things about each other and then gossiped about what they'd learned in the next breath. It wasn't real. He wanted a reaction he could understand.
When Seth got caught up talking to some people, Ryan made it a point to find Kirsten. He settled in beside her, leaning against the bar. She turned her head to look at him and smiled.
"Pretty dull party, huh?"
He noticed she was drinking a glass of white wine. A plan developed in his mind faster than he had time to think it through. His goal was to make her uncomfortable. Everyone showed their cards when they were pushed hard enough. Sometimes you just had to force their hand. "My mom used to drink a lot, too."
"What?" Ryan watched as Kirsten's eyes panned down to her half-filled glass. "Oh. I don't drink that much."
"You finished a whole bottle yourself," he said. "I was watching." He let his eyes pan down her body, making sure to stop at all the wrong places. Her reaction was predictable. She shifted her weight and moved her arms across her chest.
"I-"
Ryan smirked. He had her right where he wanted her. Ryan didn't belong here. She could see that.
"Kiki, come here. There are some people I'd like you to meet."
Seth's grandfather. Great. He had ruined everything. Kirsten allowed her father to lead her away while he watched her retreating form. Ryan picked up the glass of wine she'd set on the bar. In a few long gulps, he drained the glass.
Ryan walked away. He found Seth by the side of the pool.
"Oh, look, I think my grandpa is about to make his speech. Great, this should be nice and long. Oh, and boring. We can't forget boring. This is the prefect opportunity to duck out early, what'dya say?"
"Seth! We're going to take pictures." Grabbing him by the upper arm, Caleb led Seth away before Ryan could even open his mouth.
Ryan settled in amongst the masses and faced the platform where Caleb was raised above the onlookers -Seth and Kirsten at his side.
"I know you," someone whispered into his ear.
Ryan tried to turn around, to see who it was, but a hand came to his neck, fingers wrapping around the base and holding him in place. He stared straight ahead, not hearing a word Seth's grandfather had to say. Seth was still looking for him in the crowd.
"I've seen you around." Ryan's stomach dropped.
He could feel a hand on his hip smoothing down toward his zipper. Ryan tried to move, but the fingers against his neck tightened. He thought of fighting, of breaking free and socking the guy in the stomach, but that would just bring more attention where he wanted none. He just wanted to fade away, disappear. Go somewhere where no one knew him. But he knew that was an impossible dream. This was going to happen one way or the other, he might as well make the most of it. Besides, he still needed money to get to Atlanta.
"Not here," Ryan said, resigning. This was who he was. All that he was to these people. He dropped his voice. "Two hundred."
"Lead the way."
Ryan looked over his shoulder. Sandy was watching them. "I'll meet you inside. Ten minutes."
Seth lost track of Ryan in the crowd. He reluctantly followed his grandfather and took the flute of champagne he pushed into his hand. Posing for photographs was the last thing he wanted to be doing.
He knew the kind of trouble that Ryan attracted. One mistake and his mother would send Ryan packing, he was sure of it. So it was his job to make sure everything went well. What worried Seth the most was that Ryan might take this opportunity to do something stupid. Ryan was an angry kid and there was no way to tell when that uncontrolled chaos could erupt.
Seth had stuck close to Ryan for most of the night, only getting separated a few times. He had gotten stuck talking to a bunch of his grandfather's business associates after the speech. When he finally spotted Ryan by the buffet talking to one of the younger people at the party, Seth couldn't help but feel a twinge of jealousy. He watched as the other guy passed something small, like a business card, to Ryan.
He waited until the man had walked away before he approached Ryan. "Where've you been, man?"
Ryan shrugged. "Around."
Seth watched as Ryan pocketed the card. "Please tell me you didn't just try and solicit one of my grandfather's business associates."
"Relax."
The air felt warmer than normal. Seth attempted to loosen his tie, but a hard body collided with him causing him to become unbalanced.
"Queer!"
Seth ignored the snickers and giggles. He was used to it by now.
"No, hey, my bad for standing here!" Seth mocked under his breath when Luke was out of earshot. The last thing he needed was to get beat up in his own home.
"Who's that?"
"That's Luke Ward. He's a real jerk," Seth said, distracted. He didn't like the way Ryan was looking at Luke. There were a couple of kids from Harbor whose mothers and fathers had business ties with his grandfather in attendance. That made Seth very nervous.
"Wait, Ward?" Ryan said, still looking Luke up and down.
"Yeah, why?"
"Nothing," he said, turning his attention back on Seth. "I know his dad, that's all."
"Wait, how do you know his dad?"
Ryan gave Seth a pointed look. "Oh! You 'know' his dad. Shit, man, that's...I have no words for that."
"He's actually a pretty nice guy."
Seth scoffed. "If you don't take the whole paying you for sex thing into account."
"Let's not forget you've paid me too."
"Point taken." Seth rocked back on his heels. "But still, if people overheard you... Ryan, you don't understand how things work around here."
"Do you seriously think you're the only person from Newport Beach that's driven down to Chino?" There was a sharp edge to his voice.
"What're you saying?"
"Look at them, man!"
Seth looked. He had always thought he had this place figured out. Maybe there were a few things he didn't know.
"I've seen their type a thousand times before. They know who...what I am. Hell, I bet half of them would slam me up against one of those fountains over there if they thought they could get away with it. They don't care, Seth. I'm just here for them to use. And if I can make some extra money... why not, right?"
"Except that it isn't right."
"You sure as hell didn't mind when I was going down on you in the front seat of your mother's Range Rover."
Seth could hear the anger and hurt in his words. For the first time Seth realized how deep Ryan's scar were. "That-I..."
"Catch ya later man, I have somewhere to be."
Seth was too stunned to move. When he finally did look up, Ryan had been swallowed up by the crowd.
Seth could hear voices coming from his father's office. His hand hesitated over the doorknob. The last thing he wanted to do was walk in. Sucking up his nerves, Seth pushed open the door and watched an older man scrambling for his pants behind his father's desk.
Seth stepped back outside. He could still hear voices inside but he blocked out the words. He didn't look at the man when he walked past. He couldn't. He didn't want to remember his face.
When Seth walked back into the office Ryan was sitting behind the desk, his feet up and his hands behind his head.
"Dude, what the hell do you think you're doing?!"
Ryan smirked. "I just cleared two hundred bucks. Good party."
Seth could see a wad of cash stacked on the desk next to Ryan's feet. "This is my dad's office!"
"And?" Ryan didn't look up. Grabbing the pile of money, he began to count it. Satisfied it was all there, he stood and stuffed it into his pocket.
"And what the hell are you doing?! The whole point of me bringing you here is so you don't have to do this anymore!"
This time Ryan did look up. He took four angry steps toward Seth so they were close enough to touch. His voice was low and dark. "No," he said, jabbing a finger into Seth's chest. "The whole point of you bringing me here is so I can do these things with you! And only you!"
Ryan made a move to get past Seth, but Seth reached out and grabbed his arm. "Ryan."
Ryan looked down at his arm, pulling out of Seth's grasp easily. Tugging on Seth's lapels, he began to walk them backward. Seth looked behind him. The wall hit his back with an astonishing force. The air went out of his lungs.
"Aren't I right?" Ryan asked, holding Seth against the wall. Pushing his forearm into Seth's chest, he forced Seth's belt open and wrestled with the zipper on his pants.
Seth tried to move but Ryan was too strong. "Ryan." Seth attempted to push him away. "Don't."
"Why not? That's what you want, isn't it?! That's all anybody wants from me." His hand was inside Seth's pants and down his boxers before Seth could blink.
Even if he couldn't stop himself from getting aroused, it didn't mean that he wanted it. It didn't mean that any of it was okay. "Stop it."
Seth's words were uneffective. Ryan had become someone he didn't know, someone he couldn't recognize, someone who couldn't hear him. Something had taken over Ryan. It was like something had snapped inside him and exploded onto the first person he saw. Unfortunately for Seth, he was that person.
"Ryan, stop," Seth said, hoping to gain in some sense of civility.
It didn't have any effect.
A Rough hand was working Seth's cock at an unbearable pace. It burned and chafed. Seth wanted to break down and cry. Not from the pain, that he could withstand, but from what he saw in Ryan's eyes. This raw need to be something to someone. To mean something.
"Stop it!" Seth pushed himself further against the wall to try to distance himself. He managed to get Ryan unbalanced. Using all his strength, Seth finally managed to push Ryan away.
Ryan stumbled back. He laughed, a low, dark rumble from the centre of his chest. "You don't get it, Seth! You can't save me!"
Seth rubbed his chest. He was sure he was going to have a bruise, but he was positive the ache he felt in his heart was not connected. His hands were shaking too badly to work the zipper of his pants back up and his belt was a lost cause. "I don't want to save you," he mumbled.
Ryan looked him straight in the eye. "Of course you do."
With that, Ryan walked out the door, leaving Seth behind. Seth slumped down to the floor, wrapped his arms around his legs and let his head fall to his knees.