I know, I really need to stop writing these…what can I say, I'm addicted!
Spoilers: Up to and including the 6th season.
Summary: Bosco explains why he did what he did for Faith that day in the hospital.
Enjoy everyone!
Reasons
"All that I want to know is why Bosco, why would you do that…for me? After all the bad stuff that has happened between the two of us, why would you risk your life like that? You've chanced everything Bos…your entire life is on the line, all because you decided to pull me out of the line of fire. Didn't you realize when you jumped in front of me that it could be your end? All for a woman who you haven't been able to have the same old friendship you had with 2 years ago?"
I can't feel my body, I can't move at all, my eyes won't open and I can't speak. I know exactly what happened to me, and I wouldn't change anything I did in a heartbeat.
She's talking to me again, she's always talking, always asking me why. I long to answer her questions, I know why I did what I did without a second thought, I can think of a million reasons why I've put everything on the line to keep her safe.
I'm scared of the dark, terrified of it, actually. This place I'm in is pitch black, but I don't care, I don't regret anything. A circle of light comes and visits me often, attempting to convince me to walk through it, to a better life, with no pain and no worries, and no darkness. There are times when I almost reach it, but then she talks, and I'm pulled back away from it quickly.
I'm always afraid, afraid that one time the light will come, and she won't be there to pull me back.
I need to make it through this, not for me, but for her. I need to answer her questions, I need her to understand why I did what I did. If she doesn't know, then she will live her life always wondering, and I'll be gone…unable to tell her…and always wishing that I had of got the chance to.
I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
Before her, before Faith…I was an arrogant bastard. Seems harsh but that's what reality is. I grew up in a broken family, with an abusive father and a mother who cared for my brother and I, but had to get drunk every night to forget about her life's mistakes. I know I treated Faith like complete crap sometimes…even took advantage of the friendship I had with her and pulled a few many to strings. I never meant to hurt her the way I know I have in the past years. I got mad at her when she lied to me about the abortion, but then I turned around and lied about the dying declaration.
I felt like she couldn't tell me stuff because she never told me about her breast cancer, I was rude to her that day…but I never would have been if I new that her illness wasn't just some flu. Then again, when she tried to get me help after September 11th, getting shot and the incident with Hobart, I yelled at her and we didn't talk for a while. I lied; told her that there was nothing wrong with me, even though I new deep down that there was. Sure, I eventually broke down in her arms, but she also eventually told me why she was so sick.
I know I'm not perfect, nobody is. I never meant to be so hypocritical. Only now, after having the time to piece everything together, do I realize how stupid it was to get so upset over some things that we did to each other.
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you
Faith made me want to change. She made me want to settle down, have a wife and some kids…go somewhere in life. I stopped going out drinking every night after work, I stopped hooking up with some girl and tossing her out the next morning and I wasn't so ill tempered towards everybody around me.
I was able to talk to her, tell her how I was feeling. What was going on in my life. My relationship problems. Hell, I even told her about my family, how my dad was abusive and how he never gave me any credit for any good thing I may have done in my life. After I broke down in her apartment after my panic attack, I felt like I could tell her anything.
I was right, up until I met a certain Maritiza Cruz. She changed me back to who I used to be, a short tempered man who didn't care what anybody thought. I started to hide things from Faith again, and didn't see her as much when I started to work anti-crime, things had changed…and I was to stupid to realize what I was slowly losing.
I was losing it all.
Eleven years of pain, trust, friendship and a special undying love…slowly going down the drain.
I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
That's why I need you to hear
Then the unthinkable happened…I got her shot. I was in a tight spot, Cruz was trying to get me to lie about a murder that we both saw happen with our own eyes. I was starting to realize the mess I had gotten myself into, that I was not only risking my career, but I was also putting a man in jail for a crime he didn't commit. I was through with lying…and I was through with Cruz.
I soon found myself back at Faith's doorstep.
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is You x4
At first, Faith refused flat out to help me. I begged with her, but she said she was tired of it and that I had to learn how to solve my own problems. I knew I was hurting her marriage with Fred, the man absolutely hated me, I don't really understand why…it was like he just woke up one morning and just despised me from that point on.
I needed her help though, and I would do whatever it took to get it.
Eventually, I cornered her at the precinct and practically got down on my knees. She asked me why…why it always had to be her. Why I always had to involve her. I told her that she was the only one, the only one who listened to me, the only one who had ever believed in me. I swore that if she just helped me this one time, I'd transfer from the precinct and leave her alone forever.
She finally gave in and asked me what I wanted her to do.
I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I'll never forget what happened in that hotel room. I still have nightmares…a year later. She almost got killed because of me. She was paralyzed for a long time, and when she finally was better and came back to work, she told me that she wanted to work with me again.
I was shocked to say the least. The woman I had almost got killed, the woman I hadn't been able to speak to in a year, was refusing point blank to work with anyone else but me, back in 55-David. It was my turn to ask why, why she was crazy enough to want to work with me after I got her shot and nearly put in jail.
She told me that it wasn't a matter of want.
I didn't want to take responsibility for her again, I failed to protect her once, what if I got her hurt again?
She didn't seem to care what I thought, so I eventually agreed…and we were back in 55-David again. I vowed to myself that I would do whatever it took to make sure that she never got hurt again.
Even if it meant taking four bullets for her.
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you
We tried our hardest to get along when we started working together again. We even shared a couple of laughs, but I wasn't like the old days, it wouldn't ever be like the old days. Then my brother died, brutally murdered in cold blood.
When I found out, I thought I was going to puke right there in the precinct. Davis and Sully had to restrain me from killing every person in the station. Faith and I forgot our past after we found out, she was there for me every second of the day from that point.
Then that son of a bitch drove through that building at my kid brothers wake. My mom suffered an injury, but I hadn't had time to get news on her from the doctor, because those jag offs decided to march into Mercy and shoot at everyone.
By this time, Cruz, Faith and I were starting to piece together what was happening. An entire Anti Crime unit was blown to bits, my brother was murdered and then a bomb was supposed to go off in his wake, plus Yoshii was apparently supposed to come to the funeral…but mysteriously didn't make it.
Donald Mann was after us, and he didn't seem to be giving up.
When Faith said, "Guys…" I saw the fear and horror in her eyes. I turned around and found myself face to face with a man with a gun in his hand, with several others filing past him. It was obvious what was going to happen next. There was only two things on my mind, my mother, who was somewhere in the hospital unable to hide, and my vow to keep my best friend, and partner safe no matter what.
"EVERYONE GET DOWN!!!!" I screamed frantically.
I turned around, realized that Faith wasn't going to get out of the way fast enough, and literally pounced on her, sending both of us crashing to the ground as the first spray of bullets broke the glass. I new instantly I'd been hit several times, but I continued to clutch onto my best friend protectively as I finally fell into darkness.
I've found a reason to showA side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you…
I did what I did that day for more than just one reason. Faith is my best friend and I love her. She changed who I used to be and made me want to be a better person. I wasn't going to risk losing her the way I lost my brother.
She helped me show people that I wasn't an asshole who cared only for himself. Without her no one would know that I wasn't just Bosco…the cop who had no compassion and only a cold heart with a temper, but Maurice…a caring guy who always puts others before himself, and would take four bullets for an extremely close friend without a thought.
I'm not going to give up fighting, I'm going to beat this and tell her all the reasons why I so willingly put my entire life on the line to save her.
Everyone thinks that I just saved her life, but I only acted as a physical shield.
She's saved me in more ways than anyone could ever imagine.
…end
Expect another one-shot soon….but it'll be a tear jerker….