Disclaimer: See chapter one.
A/N- Well, here's the last installment of Living for Hope. sniffle It's all over now. But that means that there isn't a chance that I will miss putting this story up on a certain day! That's good, right? Okay, well, I hope you enjoy this chapter! I know I said that I would post it yesterday, but it's the last chapter. Gotta keep the suspense going! LOL Enjoy!
Chapter Five- Epilogue- Saying Goodbye
That night everyone slept in the Hall of Fire, Estel in his Ada's arms. The child had cried himself to sleep and was now taken in the grips of nightmares every now in then, but never fully awakening. He seemed to be drowning in his own sorrows.
Elladan and Elrohir slept side by side that night, the younger twin trying to console the older twin and the elder being ashamed. Elladan wanted to be strong for his little brothers. Soon he turned the tables, though both held their tears in check. Tonight was for Estel.
The next morning all was quiet as the kitchen staff prepared Estel's favorite breakfast: scrambled eggs and bacon, with a side order of pancakes. The child could really eat when he wanted to. But today, however, was different. He wasn't hungry, especially since he knew what they had to do today. Today, Gilraen had to be buried. It would be an all day affair.
First, they would have to lay Gilraen out. Elves, and even some of the Rangers if they could be contacted, would come to pay their last respects to the fair Queen of Gondor. They would lay out flowers and small tokens and Gilraen would rest forever with them. Elrond had already requested a gravestone built and it would be ready at noon.
At noon, Gilraen would be buried with a more private ceremony. Only the Peredhil family and some others, Rangers (again, only if they could be contacted) and Glorfindel. Estel dreaded the noon ceremony more than the morning one, in which he would have to sit still for two hours, because he knew that his mommy would go in the ground. And not come out.
Elladan walked up to his father, who was holding Estel, and whispered something in his ear that Aragorn could not even hear. All Elrond did was nod before Elladan, after affectionately ruffling Estel's hair and Elrond playfully glaring at him for messing the boy up, sped off towards the armory. He had a request to make.
Estel dressed in a deep purple velvet tunic rimmed with silver and purple pants to complete the outfit. Elrond personally did his hair and made two small eloquent braids in the Elvish style. When all was done, Estel looked every bit the prince he was born to be.
"Estel, you look very handsome!" Miriel complimented upon seeing the young king.
"Thank you," Estel replied, but only out of habit and manners.
"Are you ready, ion-nín?" Elrond asked. He knew that, of course, no child could be prepared for his mother's burial at such a young age, but in a way he was preparing Aragorn.
Estel nodded shakily. "Yes," he said barely a whisper. Elrond nodded and took his son's hand. Now was the time to say goodbye to Gilraen. Now was the last time Estel would see his birth mother for a while.
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Miriel got to her knees in front of the young king. Taking his small hand gently in hers, she looked him straight in the eyes. "I'm sorry, Estel," she said, and kissed the top of his head.
Tears that had been brewing in Estel's eyes since the moment he saw his mother's pale and stiff form slid down his face as he said, "Thank you." Miriel walked away. Elrond watched her. She seemed to have taken the young one under her wing in a sort of motherly way. She worried about him; the Elven Lord knew that. She always seemed fascinated and loved his antics… maybe Estel could spend a few hours a day with her. He would see about that.
For the next two hours, until lunch, random Elves came up and gave their condolences to the Edain. Aragorn took it relatively well, not crying as much as his family expected of such a young child.
"Ion-nín?" Elrond questioned softly after the last Elf had given his sympathies.
"Yes, Ada?"
"Would you like to eat lunch now?"
"I not hungry, Ada," Estel said meekly. The child seemed weak. He should, at the very least, drink something and get fluids in him.
"Come. Let us get you a drink." But Aragorn seemed reluctant to leave his mother behind. Elrond would not pick him up and drag his bodily away for fear of what that would do to his mental state, but he just couldn't move him. Finally, sighing, Elrond left Estel to sit beside his mother under the carefully watchful gaze of Telpir, about ten feet away. He would be at Aragorn's aid if needed.
The young king sat beside his mother and sensed rather than heard his foster father take his leave. He had no idea he was being watched but really wouldn't have cared.
"Mommy," he said quietly, allowing tears to cascade down his face. "Mommy… are you with Daddy? Why did you leave me?" Estel looked into his pocket and pulled out his beautiful pink crystal, still no holes in the top or attached to a string. He felt bad that Mommy never got his biggest and prettiest present. She deserved it.
Standing up, he slightly opened a cold hand and placed the stone gently between the fingers. "I wanted you to have this, Mommy. I got it by the big part of the river. Elrohir helped me…. Rest in peace, Mommy. I'm gonna miss you." Estel's legs couldn't support his weight as he collapsed next to his mother's body. Yes, he was going to miss her.
The tears that had dripped from his eyes stained Telpir's cheeks. So young… so sincere… so pained.
An hour later, Aragorn could be found saying his last goodbye as Gilraen was lowered into the ground. It took all his strength not to jump in and be with her forever. The idea was sorely tempting. Maybe he could see Daddy too… No! He mustn't think that. Ada had told him late last night before he went to bed that it wasn't his time yet… that his name was Estel for a good reason. He had to believe that.
"And so we ask that Ilúvatar watch over his child and guide her safely to the Halls of Mandos," Elrond said in a loud, clear voice, strangled by grief. He was saying the traditional words for a funeral. "Fair thee well, Gilraen, Lady of Gondor, loving wife of Arathorn, and loving mother to Aragorn. Rest in peace." There was a chorus of 'Rest in peace' softly spoken by all those gathered. A mournful song was sung softly by the melodic Elven voices in harmony. And so passed Lady Gilraen, daughter Dirhael.
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After the more private burial procession there was food and drink at the Last Homely House open to everyone as a repast. The Dining Hall and Hall of Fire were buzzing with solemn chatter as Estel made his way to the room Mommy had died in (tonight Ada was supposed to give him a new room). He just needed to be alone.
Elladan and Elrohir watched their little brother go with heavy hearts. They knew he must be hurting, but with a warning look from their father they stayed put.
Estel held the pillow close to his head and wrapped himself in the sheets. Gilraen's scent still lingered on them. He lost himself in his old memories, only to be brought back to the present by his foster father opening the door.
"How are you feeling?" Elrond asked, making his concern evident. Estel looked at the sheets and remembered his mother's loving face and care.
"I'm feeling good," he answered. After all, his mother still lived in his memory and she would not want him to be upset. Perhaps life would be okay without her. He still had a chance to see her again when he got older… a lot older. But Ada, Elrohir, and Elladan loved him too. He would stay with them, for them. He would see Mommy later.
"I'm hungry," Estel finally spoke the words that the Elven Lord had longed to hear but feared would not come for a few more days. Taking Estel's small hand, Elrond led the child to the kitchens for lunch and perhaps a small snack afterward. He was recovering remarkably.
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Reviewer Replies
Nefhiriel- Gilraen really got the short straw, didn't she?? LOL Just so satisfy my odd sense of family bonding she has to die…. Too bad. LOL I am trying to work on Elrohir's Puppies, but it doesn't seem to be coming around. I think I'll write it, then edit it perhaps. Maybe I'll make it a chaptered story, but it's going to take a while.
xeledhwenx- I love the sad chapters!! LOL The angst is one of the best things… Just so ya know, Estel was really trying to get the rock and, in my mind, he stumbled and had his first swimming lesson! But it really doesn't matter, so if you want, you can say he wanted a fish. : D It's really up to the reader's imagination!!
wyldcat- The way I kinda decided to stop the full weirdness of the chapter was her saying that she really didn't want to live any more. So when it became hard to breathe and continue living, then she just couldn't bring herself to fight any more. Sad though…. Ah, like I keep saying, makes a better relationship for Estel. :D I don't think I'm going to do the whole older Estel thing, but thanks for the suggestions! I'll toy with the idea of making a sequel to something, even if it's only a one-shot that I seem to do so often. ;)
A/N- Thanks to everyone for reading! I hope you liked this chapter…. Review and tell me!! This is the end of Living for Hope, but like I said to wyldcat, maybe I'll make a sequel. We'll have to see if inspiration decides to send me those cute little fluffy plot bunnies… or the black evil ones with red eyes. ;)