The Multicoloured Haven
Harry woke up and found he was in another world, more brightly coloured than ours because it had not been worn down by the troubles of life.
"Mum! Dad!" he shouted, as he spotted two people who he could never remember seeing before but vaguely realised that these should be the first words out of his mouth.
"Harry!" they shouted, sounding almost as if they were happy to see him. (Freaks.)
"Hey, Harry," came a voice from behind him. He spun around to find Sirius waiting there, arms outstretched for a hug. He didn't get one because Harry had eyes for only one person: the girl hiding nervously behind Sirius, gloriously in full colour.
"Myrtle!" he cried, and ran to her, almost crying with joy. (Although Harry, being Harry, tended to cry at the end of rubbishy teen films when the couple kissed. He has to get all that emotion he's bottling up out somehow.)
It was as he and Myrtle were in each other's joyous embrace, surrounded by his parents and godfather, all three looking rather miffed that he was ignoring them, that he recognised (though he's never met them) the McKinnons, the Bones, the Prewetts and all those other people Voldemort killed that aren't easily available for copying out of the first book.
"So I really am dead," he said, just to clear that matter up for people who think that the death scene wasn't very satisfactory.
Harry was, in case you hadn't guessed, in the Multicoloured Haven. The place where all good witches and wizards go when they die.
And so it was that Harry discovered that death isn't really an obstacle to living a full and exciting life, except without the living part. Surrounded by his family and reunited with his One True Love, Harry was actually much happier, especially as he didn't have to worry about stupid life problems like saving the world and tax returns.
Hermione and Ron, meanwhile, did have to go through all that. However, they soon figured out that they would make millions by writing Harry's biography and did so. From this money, they lived a life of leisure, and were very happily married apart from the almost constant argument.
Harry, whose life had always been dictated by the prophecies of Professor Trelawney, went on to fulfil even the most unlikely. He ...existed... to a ripe old age, became the spectral Minister for Magic and had twelve ghostly children.
And it was all delightfully corny...
THE END
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SOB! This really is The End! Well, its been a long and arduous journey and has killed many brain cells along the way. But wasn't it FUN?!? (just say yes...hint hint – review – hint hint...)
Look out for our next, entirely sensible of course, story, HP and the Half Blood Prince (my goodness! Wherever did we get THAT title from?) which should be much longer (STOP THAT GROANING AT ONCE!) but may no be up for a while as I, Spinach, am writing the first chapter.
We love all your reviews and thanks loads and all that other corny stuff which I simply MUST put in bc this is the mandatory corny end chapter...
FAREWELL DEAR REVIEWERS and also bye to all those scummy readers who enjoy (hopefully) all our hard work and then can't be bothered to tell us about it (gosh, im really getting good at these subtle hints, aren't i?)
And all those other goodbye things!