Part Nine

"Yes, thanks so much for coming. Lita would've been proud to see she has so many friends." Jeff shook the hand of the departing guest, quietly shutting the door behind him. Turning around, he looked around the room at the tables set up with leftover food and drinks, as well as the beautiful bouquets of flowers that had been sent. All would need to be cleaned up, but at the moment his gaze shifted to something more important: his brother. Looking around, Jeff sought out his sibling. Not seeing him within eyesight, he walked through the living room into the kitchen, and then on out the back door.

Jeff was surprised when he didn't see his brother sitting on the back steps. He'd known today would be especially rough on Matt. He knew his brother, and that meant he knew he'd sneak away the first moment he could for some privacy. But as his brother, he wasn't about to let him go through this day alone.

Walking around the side of the house, he relaxed a little as he
noticed the familiar figure of the elder Hardy. Sitting silently on the porch swing, Matt sat bent forward, head down, staring intently at the cracks between boards of the wooden porch.

"Mind if I join you?"

Across the road, a black sedan still sat parked. Most all the cars had cleared out as people departed from the memorial service and reception. Inside, Lita sat still, silent tears streaming down her face. Her gaze was fixed on the site of Matt, sitting so sadly on the front porch. She knew him so well, knew that he'd most likely played the part of the patriarch, making sure everyone had been taken care of, that all needs were attended to during the little service today. But who would comfort Matt? Who would see that his
needs were attended to? Lita cried harder, knowing that he was going through this because of her. Hell, he'd been miserable for over 2 months now thanks to her. Aching to leap out of the car and run to him, she gripped the steering wheel tighter to keep herself from doing just that.

On the porch

"Hey, are you doing ok?"

"Yeah," Matt answered, lifting his head. "I'll be ok."

"Good," Jeff said, plopping down on the swing next to his
brother. "This has not been a fun day."

"No," Matt commented, "but an important one. It was important to me to give everyone a chance to say goodbye to her."

"I know that, Matt. That's not what I meant."

"I know you didn't."

Both of them sat silent for a moment, the only sound the creaking of the swing as it slowly rocked. Finally, Jeff spoke.

"You want to come inside and eat?"

"No."

"Matt, you haven't eaten anything all day. That's not going to help-"

"I said no, Jeff. I'm not hungry."

Jeff scratched his head. "Beth's going to be mad at me if you
don't."

Matt looked at his brother quizzically. "What?" Jeff said. "She told me to make sure you eat something."

Matt chuckled lightly. "You're lucky to have her kiddo. Don't ever do anything stupid and lose her. Like I did with Lita."

"Matt, you didn't do anything stupid. You two had issues to work through. You weren't sure how to deal with the whole pregnancy."

"I was stupid," Matt said, sadness filling his eyes. "What she did, she did because she loved me. She was trying to protect me from him, even if her rationale was a bit..." he racked his brain for the right word.

"Lita-like?" Jeff offered.

Matt smiled. "Yeah. Lita-like," he answered.

Matt leaned back a little in his seat, reflecting on the past. "She was always so fiercely protective of us, wasn't she?" he asked. "She'd do whatever she thought it took, no questions asked to keep us safe or out of trouble."

"Hello?" Jeff looked at his brother. "Isn't that the pot calling
the kettle black?"

"What?" Matt asked, an incredulous look on his face. He conceded to Jeff's pointblank stare. "Ok, so maybe I can also be a little protective sometimes."

"See. That's what made you two so compatible. Yeah, you had your ups and downs, but you loved each other unconditionally and always took care of each other."

"Yeah, but maybe this time if I'd just... I don't know." Matt sighed. "I just can't get over this Jeff."

"Matt, you've got to stop beating yourself up. Seriously, it's not good for your mental health."

Matt turned in his seat, looking his brother squarely in the eye. "I can't Jeff. I just can't. And you know why?" He continued on, not waiting for an answer. "Because our last
conversation continues to replay in my mind, over and over, haunting me. I can't eat, I can't sleep. I just can't get past it."

"What did you say? Did you have an argument over her pregnancy?"

"Not really. I was just a complete ass is all. I had the opportunity in my hands to make up and just threw it away." He raked his hands through his long dark curls as he continued. "She came over, asking to talk. She wanted me to know that she still loved me, and that she knew in her heart that the baby was mine, not Kane's."

"I'd believe that," Jeff said from his seat beside him. "If she said it, it's because she felt it."

"Yeah, well, she also warned me that Kane had threatened her and the baby again if we reconciled, and he told her that he'd put me in a wheelchair for the rest of my life. She was scared."

"That moron. I swear, if I ever get my hands on him I'll kill him."

"Get in line," Matt said pointblank. "Anyway, I told her I wasn't sure about us, that I was confused. That I needed time to think."

"And what'd she say?"

"That she understood. If I chose not to love her back she'd learn how to live with that. The worse part though Jeff, that part I just can't forgive myself for though...."

"What? Go on. It'll help to get it out."

Matt looked up with tears in his eyes. "After she poured out her heart to me, and told me that she'd love me no matter what. After the new threats from Kane. After everything.... I ..I." Matt stopped to collect himself, then continued. "As she was walking away, I had the chance to make it right. I had the chance to tell her I loved her too. But instead, I just told her to be safe." Matt dropped his head in his hands again.

"Aw man. I'm sorry." Jeff didn't know what to say. He pat his brother on the back. "I'm sure she knew though. She knew you were just upset."

Matt shrugged. "Knowing Lita she probably did. I only wish I knew what was going to happen. If only we'd had more time together..."

"Unfortunately Matt we don't get to know how long we get to be with those we love. You have to remember the good times you did have together. You'll drive yourself crazy if you focus on the negative. Matt," Jeff stopped short of what he wanted to say, not sure how his brother would take it. Seeing the grieving look in his brother's eyes, he continued. "Matt, at least you know that she died loving you."

"Yeah, and if only I'd said it back."

Back in the car, Lita watched on as the two brothers were talking. Matt seemed to be upset, which upset Lita. She wished she could hear what they were saying.

I can't take this, she thought to herself. Please don't be upset, Matt. Help him Jeff. she pleaded silently. It broke her heart to see them and for the umpteenth time she found herself fighting back the tears. "I need to get out of here," she told herself. Starting the car, she slipped it into gear and drove away quickly, all the while wiping away the barrage of tears. It seemed the farther she drove, the harder she cried.

"Get a hold of yourself Lita," she chided herself, dabbing at her red rims. "This isn't good for me or my baby. I've got to be stronger than this." She had gone about 25 miles and had sobbed so hard that her vision was blurry and her nose was running. Looking down briefly to rummage for a tissue in her purse, she glanced back to the road. But her vision was still slightly blurry. Her eyes cleared too late as she slammed on her brakes to avoid the deer that was suddenly standing in the middle of the road. Lita gasped, laying on the horn while the brakes squealed, swerving to avoid striking the large animal. She fought for control of the wheel as the car spun out of control, leaving the road to the former redhead's screams.

To be continued