AN: Sorry it took me so long to update this time, but I have had company from out of town and have not had much time to write. The general consensus for my last reviews was that I was evil; lol, honestly I agree. The cliffhanger was rather evil but I hope that I can make up for it. THANK YOU AND HAPPY READING!
ejqHorseLady: Wow! You must have been reading my mind; well, I think you will be happy with her response.
boku-tachi wa: I hadn't thought about the two groups of friends meeting, but I'll take it into consideration for future chapters. Thanks.
VioletRose4: I didn't have him ask her about Kikyo, yet, that is coming soon; as for Kouga, uh. I don't even know what she would say about him, but thanks for the suggestions.
Coyotesabre: Lol, I was being evil, but it's just so much fun to do it might occur frequently.
The One above All: I am going to address both points in your review. One: Only twenty evil points? Darn, guess I'll have to try harder next time. Two: I think Inuyasha talks to the voice in his head so much because growing up he didn't have anyone to talk to, that little voice was it. So he got used to it being his only friend and could never get out of the habit of having discussions with it. I hope that makes some sense, 'cause it's hard to explain insanity.
Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN IT, PLEASE DON'T SUE ME! I KNOW THIS IS LIKE A WEEK LATE, BUT I'M JUST FORGETFUL, I'M NOT TRYING TO STEAL IT!
Love Isn't Just a Memory
Chapter Fifteen: Confused Feelings
By: Nimerin
Two figures were seated in the courtyard of the Higurashi Shrine. One was wearing a typical green schoolgirl uniform and was securely enfolded in the red clad arms of the second dog-eared figure. The sun light shone down on the scene, especially highlighting the two as if they were in a spotlight. Both of the figures had anxious looks on their faces; one was dreading the question, and the other was dreading the answer.
Kagome finally took a deep sigh and started to sort through the jumbled feelings floating around in her. One of them was very prevalent in her mind, and no where near as confusing as the others, so she decided that would be the best one to start out with. "When I am with you I feel like I am the safest person in the world. Like nothing could ever harm me as long as I am with you."
Inuyasha was quiet as he figured out what her answer meant to him. He always knew that she felt at least a little protected with him, but he had no idea that she trusted him that much. His heart was warmed by that thought; no one had ever trusted him, much less put complete faith in his ability to always be there when they needed them. If he were honest with himself he would admit that her faith in him was not unfounded, he would do anything to protect her, even if it cost him his life.
Kagome was starting to get a little worried by his silence; maybe she had said the wrong thing and he was upset. Curious about his reaction, she looked up at him meekly and spoke in a timid voice, "Is every thing alright?"
Inuyasha was snapped out of his musings, suddenly realizing that his silence was worrying the memory impaired girl. "There isn't anything wrong. In the past you're always getting into trouble and I have to save your butt. You probably feel safe because I protect you from all the demons we fight."
Kagome looked down at her lap as she sorted through the information, "Everyone keeps saying how we fight all these demons for some sacred jewel or something; I didn't know I was difficult to protect, I'm sorry."
Inuyasha looked down at the girl in surprise, "What have you got to be sorry for you stupid girl?"
Kagome looked startled, "But... you just said that I always get into trouble."
Inuyasha looked away, a red tinge on his cheeks. He sighed heavily, 'There's just no way around it. Damn.'
"Kagome, you're the protector of the jewel, the demons want the jewel, that's why you usually get into trouble."
"Oh," Kagome thought for a moment, "Wait a minute, you said usually. What did I do to get into trouble?"
Inuyasha suddenly grew cocky, "Well, you're always flirting with this one wolf demon and the wimpy wolf starts trouble with me."
"I don't remember any wolves."
"You don't remember anything about the past, baka. Although I must admit that there is nothing memorable about Kouga anyway, unless you count his stupidity."
"I am not a baka, and I do not flirt!" Kagome screamed slightly, though she tried not to be so loud since she was sitting in his lap still and she didn't want to hurt his dog ears. She may have been annoyed with what he was saying, but he was still being really nice and trying to help her figure out her memories.
"Oi, you don't remember anything so how would you know?"
"I just know, I don't act like that here, so why would I act like that in the past?"
"Probably just to annoy the hell out of me."
"Oh you baka! I wondered why I felt so argumentative when I was sorting through my feelings for you."
"It's not my fault that you are such an annoying little wench."
"Oh! You're the most infuriating boy ever."
Inuyasha just smirked arrogantly in response, she was so much easier to argue with now that she had forgotten the subduing spell. Now he could say things and not worry about becoming a temporary crater in the Earth. The little internal voice decided to ruin his cocky attitude, 'Hey baka, you're getting off track.'
'Iie, not you again.'
'Hai, it's me and while you're busy being an ass you're missing the fact that she said she had feelings for you.'
'Yeah, she said she felt safe, and then she said she felt argumentative.'
'Hai, but she was also implying that she felt more than just that you baka. Ask her!'
Inuyasha thought over what the voice said and looked back down at the girl in his lap. She was still slightly fuming from their verbal sparring, but he was now all seriousness. "Oi, Kagome, you said that you had to sort through your feelings for me."
She looked up at him innocently, "Hai, I did, some of them are really confusing."
"What do you mean?"
Kagome crinkled her brow in concentration, and began to worry her bottom lip as she thought about her feelings. "Well, I feel safe, argumentative, happy, friendship, trust, and some of the other easy things; but there's this one thing that confuses me because it really seems to be a jumble of emotions all rolled up into one."
"Can you try and explain it to me?"
"I'm not sure that any of it will make sense, but I can try. It's almost like the bottom of the world dropped out and all that is left is me and this feeling. I'm anxious and relaxed around you at the same time; I know I can be myself and not worry, but I feel unsure about myself. Right now, in your arms, I feel happy and whole; but, I'm afraid that after I move I might feel empty and alone. It's almost as if..." Kagome trailed off at the end of the speech. After the first sentence she had pretty much forgotten that she was even talking to Inuyasha, it was almost as if she were explaining it herself. She began to sort through the rest of everything in her head, 'The way I described it, it would almost seem as though...' she mentally gulped, 'as though I love him.' She looked up into his swirling amber eyes that were focused on some point on the horizon. She could tell he was confused by what she had told him and that he was waiting for her to finish her sentence. For some reason though, she was holding it back, she wanted to tell him, but she just couldn't.
'Oh Kami, I wish that I had all my memories. I want to remember him. Memories or not, I know I love him.'
While Kagome was coming to terms with her feelings Inuyasha was trying to figure out what she was trying to tell him. It goes without saying that he was extremely and profoundly confused. How was he supposed to figure out what her feelings meant when she couldn't even do so. When she had trailed off he had tried to sort through everything, but he was still unsure. 'When the wench said that she was confused by this feeling she wasn't joking. I sounds like she really cares about me, but in what way?' He looked down at the girl that was still staring at him. "You didn't finish your sentence."
Kagome blinked suddenly confused by his statement, "What sentence?"
Inuyasha sighed, "You said 'It's almost as though..' and then you stopped."
"That, oh," she was now officially flustered, "I don't know what I was going to say, I was confused."
Inuyasha was disappointed with that answer, "C'mon Kagome try and figure it out."
Kagome sighed, "I can't, gomen. I have a headache, I think I need to go lie down."
Inuyasha relented, although he really wanted to know, Kagome had been through a lot recently and he didn't want her to have another fainting episode. He wrapped one arm around her shoulders and the other beneath her knees as he rolled up on the balls of his feet fluidly. Soon he was standing with Kagome in his arms as though she weighed nothing. Kagome looked up at him impressed with his show of grace, "Wow, that's really cool you know."
Inuyasha blushed, "It's part of being a hanyou."
"It's still really cool."
Inuyasha brought Kagome back up to her through her open window and set her down on the bed. It seemed to him that he was doing this a lot lately. "Get some rest; the others are going to want to see you once you feel better."
"I will. Arigato Inuyasha."
"Whatever." With that, he leapt out the window and over to the Goshinboku to sort through all the information that he had learned.
Kagome laid down for a little while, but was unable to fall asleep. She hadn't been lying when she said she had a headache and she really was tired, but she had too much on her mind. She was listening to the voices coming from downstairs; she really couldn't make out anything that they were saying but they sounded at ease with each other. Deciding that she needed some uncomplicated conversation she got up and headed downstairs.
Her mother was standing at the counter preparing the ingredients for dinner, Jii-chan was engrossed in some conversation with Miroku about some religious scroll he had recently discovered, and Souta was busy asking Sango about her skills as a demon exterminator as he petted Kirara and watched Shippo do his kitsune tricks. She smiled at the homey picture they all made and was happy, though the reason it was important to her eluded her. She quietly made her way into the kitchen, but Kirara and Shippo's ears were too good and they noticed her before everyone else. Kirara jumped off of Souta's lap and wound herself around Kagome's legs as Shippo launched himself into her arms and hugged her fiercely. Kagome returned the hug warmly and reached down to pet the fire-cat. "Hello." She said as she looked at all the smiling faces. The houshi and the tajiya were smiling warmly at her, they wanted to race up to her and hug her just like Shippo but knew that she was still having trouble dealing with it all.
"Hello." Everyone replied, but her mother looked at her confused, "Kagome, dear, how did you get upstairs?"
"Inuyasha." She replied as she made her way to sit at the table, Kirara trailing after her and Shippo happily nestled in her arms. She settled down and began to talk to her friends about some of the things she should remember; after discussing the past for a little while, they decided to take a break from trying to jog her memory and talk of different things. Pleasant conversation ensued and continued on until dinner time.
"Kagome, why don't you go and get Inuyasha for dinner. I'm sure he is hungry." Mrs. Higurashi suggested.
"Alright mama." Kagome set Shippo down and headed out the door and for the Goshinboku. She didn't even stop to consider how she knew where to find him, she was too happy with the pleasant day she had. She looked up at the night sky as she made her way to the tree. The stars were shining brightly and the sky was void of any clouds; it was also void of a moon. Kagome's heart skipped a beat and she felt anxious at this realization. She mentally shrugged, figuring it must have something to do with some buried memory of the past. When she reached the tree she noticed Inuyasha sitting at the base looking up at the sky thinking. She gasped as soon as she realized how different he looked with black hair, violet eyes, and normal ears.
"Inuyasha?" She whispered quietly.
Inuyasha quickly turned his head from the sky and looked at her. "Hai, it's me."
Kagome slowly walked toward him and sat next to him as she inspected his new look. She wasn't as surprised as she should have been, so she guessed this must have happened a lot in the past, "Why do you look different?"
"I'm a hanyou, I turn human every new moon." Inuyasha was used to her knowing about his human night, and was now growing anxious at the way she was looking at him; he couldn't take it if she rejected him, and he was afraid that without her memories she might.
"Oh, well that explains the funny feeling I had when I looked at the moonless sky earlier." She replied as she turned away from him and looked back up at the sky.
"You remembered?" He asked, excited that she was finally starting to make some progress.
"Not really, I just had a funny feeling when I realized that there was no moon."
"Oh, that's still better than before." He was still watching her, entranced by her ethereal beauty in the starlight. He wanted nothing more then to gather her in his arms and tell her what he had figured out while he had been thinking, but he was afraid of telling her.
"Well, dinner is ready if you are hungry." Kagome finally spoke breaking the comfortable silence that had settled.
"Alright, let's go." Inuyasha stood up and offered his hand to help her off the ground. She took it and stood but continued to hold his hand. When they both realized that their hands were still clasped they quickly released them and headed towards the house blushing like there was no tomorrow.
AN: I was actually going to write more for this chapter and then leave you with another really evil cliffhanger but decided against it since I found a pretty decent stopping place. I don't really know what to say about this chapter, it's not one of my better ones and it's a bit choppy, but PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE REVIEW! THANKS FOR READING!