Disclaimer: In case you had forgotten, I don't these characters. I would if I could but I can't.
This is the second chapter of Final Fantasy Party Bonanza. Cloud is heading down to the shop to get a bunch of snacks for the party. However, it is quite difficult to find an open shop on a Sunday.
(Cloud is wandering around the streets looking around for an open shop)
Cloud: Typical, on all days Tifa wants me to go get groceries...
(Cloud finally finds a shop that is open. The sign reads 'Evil Shop Of Doom!!!')
Cloud: Isn't it typical that the only shop one a Sunday is evil (sigh).
(Cloud goes into the shop and from out of nowhere a bat starts flying towards him)
Cloud: Holy Sh-!
(He quickly ducks and the flies right over him. Unfortunately, as it flies over Cloud, it decides to take a shit on his head)
Cloud: You little sod!
(Cloud pulls out his buster sword and starts chases after the bat, swinging the blade around crazily. 5 minutes later Cloud calmly walks back into the shop covered in blood)
Cloud: Ok, no one needs to know that the missed the bat and sliced up an old lady by accident... but God, I'll probably never get this old smell out of clothes! God she was heavy too! Took me ages to drag the body and through it over the-
Shop Clerk: Can I assist you in any way?
Cloud: YOU CAN'T ACCUSE ME!!! I NEVER KILLED ANY OLD LADIES!!!
Shop Clerk: Errrrr... excuse me?
Cloud: What I meant to say is 'Hi'...
Shop Clerk: .........
Cloud: Oh! That reminds me! Could you get me everything on this list please?
Shop Clerk: Ok, lets have a look (rolls the very long piece of paper out and nods his head as he reads). all it says is lots of food and a 50 pack of condoms!
Cloud: Is there something wrong?
Shop Clerk: Oh no! It's just that most people get a 100 pack.
Cloud: Ah...
Shop Clerk: I'll sort out your order, look around the shop if you wish.
(The Shop Clerk disappears in a puff of smoke, which surprisingly enough smells like burnt toast. Just then someone comes through the front door. Loud turns around to see Vincent)
Cloud: Yo!
Vincent: Yo!
Cloud: .........
Vincent: New after-shave?
Cloud: Eh?
Vincent: It's just that you smell like old ladies.
Cloud: Oh, that's just blood from the old lady I-
Vincent: !!!
Cloud: Oh my God! Look at that!
(Cloud points to a top shelf and Vincent looks to see all the naughty magazines. Vincent is quickly on the ground trying to burn his eyes put with a candle)
Vincent: I HAVE SINNED!!!
(He sets his eyebrows alight and runs out of the shop screaming. Cloud is rolling around on the ground in fits of laughter)
?????: Could you lease keep it down over there! Some people are trying to shop!
Cloud: Who the?
(Cloud peers round the corner to see Ansem looking at fake tan spray)
Cloud: What the hell are you doing here you Sephiroth reject!
Ansem: Shut up you... you... BIG MEANY!!!
(Ansem runs out the shop crying)
Cloud: Geez... bad guys are getting more pitiful by the second...
(Cloud walks around the shop a bit more and sees Cid form FFX looking at gallon tubs of car wax)
Cloud: Yo!
Cid (FFX): Yo!
Cloud: Planning to spruce up the old airship?
Cid (FFX): Airship! God no! Need to keep my crome dome nice and shiny!
Cloud: Okay... I'm gonna go stand over there...
(He then remembers about the party)
Cloud: Wait a minute... could you tell the others about a party next Sunday?
Cid (FFX): Sure. Where is it?
Cloud: The blitz ball stadium in Luca. If possible, could you turn the blitz sphere into a giant Jacuzzi tub?
Cid (FFX): Christ boy! That is the best idea ever. You deserve a Nobel Prize award! I'll get on it right away!
Cloud: Sweet...
Shop Clerk: Could the man with a huge sword and spiky hair please come to the counter?
Cloud: That's my cue!
(Cloud walks up to the counter)
Shop Clerk: We've put your order in the truck outside. Here is the ignition key.
(Places key on the table)
Cloud: What's the bill?
Shop Clerk: 3,365,643 gil please.
Cloud: You have got to be kidding!
Shop: All your list said was 'a lot of food', so I put in a lot of food!
Cloud: I shall never pay your ridiculous prices!
Shop Clerk: Fine! Get him Pikachu!
Pikachu: Pika!
(Enter battle!)
Cloud: Bring it on!
(Cloud – 2483hp. Pikachu – 3157hp.)
Pikachu: (Thunderbolt – 250 damage to Cloud) PIKA PIKACHU!!!
Cloud: That's it! (Summons Bahamut)
Bahamut: Yum! Food!
Pikachu: Oh sh-!
(Bahamut eats Pikachu. End Battle)
Cloud: Bwhahaha! I win!
Shop Clerk: Look behind you...
(Cloud turns around to see about 50 Pikachus)
Coud; No! No! No! Aaaaaagggggghhhhh!!!
(Runs out of the shop. Then runs back in)
Cloud: Aaaaaaagggggghhhhh!!!
(Grabs key and runs back out)
Cloud: Aaaaaaaggggggghhhhhh!!!
(Starts up the truck and drives off)
Cloud: Aaaaaaaggggghhhhh!!!
Shop Clerk: That's the fifth time this week!
There you go. That's chapter two finished. Who knows what will happen next chapter. Any ideas would really help. Especially jokes I could sneak in.
This is the second chapter of Final Fantasy Party Bonanza. Cloud is heading down to the shop to get a bunch of snacks for the party. However, it is quite difficult to find an open shop on a Sunday.
(Cloud is wandering around the streets looking around for an open shop)
Cloud: Typical, on all days Tifa wants me to go get groceries...
(Cloud finally finds a shop that is open. The sign reads 'Evil Shop Of Doom!!!')
Cloud: Isn't it typical that the only shop one a Sunday is evil (sigh).
(Cloud goes into the shop and from out of nowhere a bat starts flying towards him)
Cloud: Holy Sh-!
(He quickly ducks and the flies right over him. Unfortunately, as it flies over Cloud, it decides to take a shit on his head)
Cloud: You little sod!
(Cloud pulls out his buster sword and starts chases after the bat, swinging the blade around crazily. 5 minutes later Cloud calmly walks back into the shop covered in blood)
Cloud: Ok, no one needs to know that the missed the bat and sliced up an old lady by accident... but God, I'll probably never get this old smell out of clothes! God she was heavy too! Took me ages to drag the body and through it over the-
Shop Clerk: Can I assist you in any way?
Cloud: YOU CAN'T ACCUSE ME!!! I NEVER KILLED ANY OLD LADIES!!!
Shop Clerk: Errrrr... excuse me?
Cloud: What I meant to say is 'Hi'...
Shop Clerk: .........
Cloud: Oh! That reminds me! Could you get me everything on this list please?
Shop Clerk: Ok, lets have a look (rolls the very long piece of paper out and nods his head as he reads). all it says is lots of food and a 50 pack of condoms!
Cloud: Is there something wrong?
Shop Clerk: Oh no! It's just that most people get a 100 pack.
Cloud: Ah...
Shop Clerk: I'll sort out your order, look around the shop if you wish.
(The Shop Clerk disappears in a puff of smoke, which surprisingly enough smells like burnt toast. Just then someone comes through the front door. Loud turns around to see Vincent)
Cloud: Yo!
Vincent: Yo!
Cloud: .........
Vincent: New after-shave?
Cloud: Eh?
Vincent: It's just that you smell like old ladies.
Cloud: Oh, that's just blood from the old lady I-
Vincent: !!!
Cloud: Oh my God! Look at that!
(Cloud points to a top shelf and Vincent looks to see all the naughty magazines. Vincent is quickly on the ground trying to burn his eyes put with a candle)
Vincent: I HAVE SINNED!!!
(He sets his eyebrows alight and runs out of the shop screaming. Cloud is rolling around on the ground in fits of laughter)
?????: Could you lease keep it down over there! Some people are trying to shop!
Cloud: Who the?
(Cloud peers round the corner to see Ansem looking at fake tan spray)
Cloud: What the hell are you doing here you Sephiroth reject!
Ansem: Shut up you... you... BIG MEANY!!!
(Ansem runs out the shop crying)
Cloud: Geez... bad guys are getting more pitiful by the second...
(Cloud walks around the shop a bit more and sees Cid form FFX looking at gallon tubs of car wax)
Cloud: Yo!
Cid (FFX): Yo!
Cloud: Planning to spruce up the old airship?
Cid (FFX): Airship! God no! Need to keep my crome dome nice and shiny!
Cloud: Okay... I'm gonna go stand over there...
(He then remembers about the party)
Cloud: Wait a minute... could you tell the others about a party next Sunday?
Cid (FFX): Sure. Where is it?
Cloud: The blitz ball stadium in Luca. If possible, could you turn the blitz sphere into a giant Jacuzzi tub?
Cid (FFX): Christ boy! That is the best idea ever. You deserve a Nobel Prize award! I'll get on it right away!
Cloud: Sweet...
Shop Clerk: Could the man with a huge sword and spiky hair please come to the counter?
Cloud: That's my cue!
(Cloud walks up to the counter)
Shop Clerk: We've put your order in the truck outside. Here is the ignition key.
(Places key on the table)
Cloud: What's the bill?
Shop Clerk: 3,365,643 gil please.
Cloud: You have got to be kidding!
Shop: All your list said was 'a lot of food', so I put in a lot of food!
Cloud: I shall never pay your ridiculous prices!
Shop Clerk: Fine! Get him Pikachu!
Pikachu: Pika!
(Enter battle!)
Cloud: Bring it on!
(Cloud – 2483hp. Pikachu – 3157hp.)
Pikachu: (Thunderbolt – 250 damage to Cloud) PIKA PIKACHU!!!
Cloud: That's it! (Summons Bahamut)
Bahamut: Yum! Food!
Pikachu: Oh sh-!
(Bahamut eats Pikachu. End Battle)
Cloud: Bwhahaha! I win!
Shop Clerk: Look behind you...
(Cloud turns around to see about 50 Pikachus)
Coud; No! No! No! Aaaaaagggggghhhhh!!!
(Runs out of the shop. Then runs back in)
Cloud: Aaaaaaagggggghhhhh!!!
(Grabs key and runs back out)
Cloud: Aaaaaaaggggggghhhhhh!!!
(Starts up the truck and drives off)
Cloud: Aaaaaaaggggghhhhh!!!
Shop Clerk: That's the fifth time this week!
There you go. That's chapter two finished. Who knows what will happen next chapter. Any ideas would really help. Especially jokes I could sneak in.