H.F: I really hope I finish this soon because I'm really running out of funny ways to say that these aren't my characters. Man, what I wouldn't give to just beat the shit out of something right now... oh! Hello Cait Sith, what great timing.
Cait Sith: Oh hello, would you like me to do a really gay dance just for a piece of paper to come out of my ass which says a load of bull (starts dancing... if that's what you call it).
H.F: On second thought... I think I'll go stand over there...
If you do recall, in the last chapter, Cloud had discovered something so horrible, so disgusting that it would make even the toughest persons stomach start to do back-flips. What could it be? Prepare to shit your pants.
(Cloud is standing at the entrance of the pantry, covering his hands over his eyes while every now and again looking between his fingers)
Cloud: Oh my God! It's so vile! How could anyone think of doing something so sickening! Who would be sadistic enough to......... leave a little dribble of milk in the bottom of the bottle and put it back! Oh, and there's a charred Fat Chocobo skeleton lying in the middle of the floor. Wait a second...
(Outside, Barret is trying to creep out of the front door when suddenly...)
Cloud: BAAARRRRRRRREEETTTT!!!
Barret: Oh shit!
(Barret runs out of the front door and Cloud quickly follows him out swinger his Buster sword over his head when all of a sudden... Benny Hill music begins to play)
Cloud: RAAARRRRRGGGGHHHH!!!
Barret: I (huff) think he's (puff) mad.
(Barret looks back to see Cloud pulling out some material)
Barret: Oh boy...
(However, somewhere far away, evil villains are plotting something so evil, so nasty so that it's the most evil nasty thing to ever be evil and nasty.)
Sephiroth: Isn't this new base a bit, well... cramped?
Kefka: I agree! I mean, theres barely enough room to throw a custard pie around here.
Sephiroth: Listen Kefka, you're an evil super villain, not a goddamn fucking clown!
Kefka: Oh, yeah.
Kuja: Well I think its just spiffing!
Sephiroth: ......... okay, don't speak from now on okay.
Kuja: All right you adorable bastard you!
Kefka: Okay! Who the fuck just touched my ass!
Sephiroth: Sorry, my hand slipped.
Kefka: It better have done!
(All of a sudden the door is pulled open and Kefka, Sephiroth and Kuja all fall out and land in a big pile. They all look up to see Seymour standing there)
Seymour: You started a threesome without me!
Sephiroth: (clambering out from underneath Kefka) where the hell have you been, you've been gone for two days now!
Seymour: Oh, I've got someone to show you, come out honey!
(Don Corneo comes out from behind a bush, bridal gown and all)
Seymour: We got married! We are now Mr and Mr Guado!
Don: What!? I thought we were using my name!
Seymour: Well fuck you then! (Kills Don) You were bad in bed anyway!
Sephiroth and Kefka: Too – much – information.
Kuja: Anyone want to play twister!
Everyone else: .........
(Anyway, back to the good guys. Barret is carrying an unconscious Cloud back to the Seventh Heaven, both of his yes are black)
Cait Sith: What the fuck happened to him!?
Barret: Well... it all goes something like this... (Flash back begins)
(Cloud is chasing Barret whilst swinging his Buster sword around. However, with each step he takes, his breasts fly up and smack him in the eyes... eh?)
Cait Sith: WTF!? You made that bull up didn't ya!?
Barret: Shut up! (Shoots Cait Sith) I can imagine if I want to!
(Takes Cloud into the Seventh Heaven and lied him down. Then goes to the pantry to get some frozen peas and sees the sickest thing in the world)
Barret: Oh my God! Who the fuck would – oh! I remember, I ate Fat Chocobo. Oh well (walks off)
(Back at the bad guys hideout)
Kefka: Are you prepared Sephiroth?
Sephirioth: Yes.
Kefka: Okay. Right hand, green.
Sephiroth: Oh no! My crotch is going to be right over Kuja's arse.
Kuja: Come to papa bitch!
Sephiroth: (Cries).
That's the fifth chapter all sorted. Have fun and please don't forget my other fan fics, which will be appearing soon. And yes, the party will appear soon but I don't want to rush right in. And sooner or later other characters will make an appearance. Any ideas are welcome.
Cait Sith: Oh hello, would you like me to do a really gay dance just for a piece of paper to come out of my ass which says a load of bull (starts dancing... if that's what you call it).
H.F: On second thought... I think I'll go stand over there...
If you do recall, in the last chapter, Cloud had discovered something so horrible, so disgusting that it would make even the toughest persons stomach start to do back-flips. What could it be? Prepare to shit your pants.
(Cloud is standing at the entrance of the pantry, covering his hands over his eyes while every now and again looking between his fingers)
Cloud: Oh my God! It's so vile! How could anyone think of doing something so sickening! Who would be sadistic enough to......... leave a little dribble of milk in the bottom of the bottle and put it back! Oh, and there's a charred Fat Chocobo skeleton lying in the middle of the floor. Wait a second...
(Outside, Barret is trying to creep out of the front door when suddenly...)
Cloud: BAAARRRRRRRREEETTTT!!!
Barret: Oh shit!
(Barret runs out of the front door and Cloud quickly follows him out swinger his Buster sword over his head when all of a sudden... Benny Hill music begins to play)
Cloud: RAAARRRRRGGGGHHHH!!!
Barret: I (huff) think he's (puff) mad.
(Barret looks back to see Cloud pulling out some material)
Barret: Oh boy...
(However, somewhere far away, evil villains are plotting something so evil, so nasty so that it's the most evil nasty thing to ever be evil and nasty.)
Sephiroth: Isn't this new base a bit, well... cramped?
Kefka: I agree! I mean, theres barely enough room to throw a custard pie around here.
Sephiroth: Listen Kefka, you're an evil super villain, not a goddamn fucking clown!
Kefka: Oh, yeah.
Kuja: Well I think its just spiffing!
Sephiroth: ......... okay, don't speak from now on okay.
Kuja: All right you adorable bastard you!
Kefka: Okay! Who the fuck just touched my ass!
Sephiroth: Sorry, my hand slipped.
Kefka: It better have done!
(All of a sudden the door is pulled open and Kefka, Sephiroth and Kuja all fall out and land in a big pile. They all look up to see Seymour standing there)
Seymour: You started a threesome without me!
Sephiroth: (clambering out from underneath Kefka) where the hell have you been, you've been gone for two days now!
Seymour: Oh, I've got someone to show you, come out honey!
(Don Corneo comes out from behind a bush, bridal gown and all)
Seymour: We got married! We are now Mr and Mr Guado!
Don: What!? I thought we were using my name!
Seymour: Well fuck you then! (Kills Don) You were bad in bed anyway!
Sephiroth and Kefka: Too – much – information.
Kuja: Anyone want to play twister!
Everyone else: .........
(Anyway, back to the good guys. Barret is carrying an unconscious Cloud back to the Seventh Heaven, both of his yes are black)
Cait Sith: What the fuck happened to him!?
Barret: Well... it all goes something like this... (Flash back begins)
(Cloud is chasing Barret whilst swinging his Buster sword around. However, with each step he takes, his breasts fly up and smack him in the eyes... eh?)
Cait Sith: WTF!? You made that bull up didn't ya!?
Barret: Shut up! (Shoots Cait Sith) I can imagine if I want to!
(Takes Cloud into the Seventh Heaven and lied him down. Then goes to the pantry to get some frozen peas and sees the sickest thing in the world)
Barret: Oh my God! Who the fuck would – oh! I remember, I ate Fat Chocobo. Oh well (walks off)
(Back at the bad guys hideout)
Kefka: Are you prepared Sephiroth?
Sephirioth: Yes.
Kefka: Okay. Right hand, green.
Sephiroth: Oh no! My crotch is going to be right over Kuja's arse.
Kuja: Come to papa bitch!
Sephiroth: (Cries).
That's the fifth chapter all sorted. Have fun and please don't forget my other fan fics, which will be appearing soon. And yes, the party will appear soon but I don't want to rush right in. And sooner or later other characters will make an appearance. Any ideas are welcome.