Sorry, I don't own these characters which is sort of a pity really since I
could put them to better use. (Sighs) What I wouldn't do for my own sex
slaves...
H.F: Hi there, Heavens Fury here and this is chapter 7! And you know what? I feel like being a right bastard! Guess what? The party's going to be cancelled! Bwahahahaha!!! I am so evil!
Cloud: Errr... actually the party's still on.
H.F: Thank you SO much you bastard! I was saying that just to piss off all the thick shit readers off!
(Suddenly there is a knock at the door)
H.F: Wait there Cloud while I get the door... and don't touch anything!
As H.F walks off Cloud is already nosing around in the fridge. H.F opens the door to see......... an angry mob!)
H.F: Hi, can I help you?
Mob: Yeah! Are the fuck head who said all the readers are thick shits?
H.F: Errrr... no, he is! (Points at Cloud who has his head in the fridge)
Cloud: (mouth full) Whumph!
Mob: GET HIM!
Cloud: (spitting food) AAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!
(Cue Benny Hill music)
H.F: What the – hold on a sec!
(Pulls open the fridge to see......... Benny Hill holding a hi-fi in there)
Benny: What?
H.F: Riiiggghhhttt... (closes fridge door) Anyway, last chapter, we saw what the FF9 crew was up to and Kefka's Wedgie bonanza. Also, at the end of the chapter, Vincent's misfortune (shudders). This chapter we focus on the FF10 gag and the bad guys finally find out about the party.
(In Luca)
Cid X: Okay... how the hell am I gonna turn this goddamn blitz sphere into a giant Jacuzzi? I could Ifrit pwer it... but them the possibility of boiling everyone like lobsters could arise. Maybe I could invent a super heater system to warm up the water...
(Cid X begins to rub his chrome dome in a think sort of manner)
Cid X: Nah... I'll stick with the Ifrit idea.
(Over in Beasaid is kicking a blitzball around. God knows why. He's shit at Blitzball anyway. Wakka is also there doing fuck all)
Tidus: Look at me! I'm the greatest Blitzball player in the world!
Wakka: No! I am!
Sin: No! I am!
Tidua & Wakka: WTF!!!
Sin: Shit. (Fucks off)
Tidus: You know what Wakka?
Wakka: What?
Tidus: I want to be just like my Dad.
Wakka: What!? You want to weigh over 1 gazillion tons and kill hundreds of people every time you have a shit!
Tidus: Well... I'm half way there.
Wakka: Besides, what kind of a father is he to you anyway?
Sin: (From really far away) a shit one!
Tidus: You can't argue with that logic!
Wakka: Would you even risk arguing with something that big?
Tidus: Ah touché.
Wakka: Shut up! That reminds me, Cid X told me we're all invited to a big party!
Tidus: Awwwww... I don't want to go to a stinky party...
Wakka: There going to be alcohol...
Tidus: To the party!
Wakka: Do you even know where it is?
Tidus: What do I look like? Someone with a brain cell!
Wakka: If you had just one you'd be dangerous! It's being held at the Luca blitz stadium on Sunday.
Tidus: Awww... me need booze now... (cries)
Wakka: It's only three days!
Tidus: Hello! I haven't drunk anything alcoholic in over three monthes!
Wakka: OH GOD!!!
(At the bad guys base, Kuja and Seymour are playing scrabble. It's amazing how many words there are for someone being a 'fruit'. Kefka on the other hand, is making a batch of cream pies)
Kefka: Anyone fancy going out with me and creaming some poor sods in the face!
Kuja: Ooohhhh goody! Take me!
Seymour: Super! I wan to cream some people too!
Kefka: ......... on second thought...
(Suddenly Sephiroth bursts through the door)
Seymour, Kuja and Kefka: AAARRRGGGHHH!!!
Sephiroth: AAARRRGGGHHH!!!
Kuja: I've wet myself...
Kefka: Oh yeah! Well I've gone one step further!
Sephiroth: I can smell it from here!
Seymour: What in buggeries name are you doing bursting through the door like that!
Sephiroth: Big news! Cloud and his goody-goody friends are throwing a huge party!
(Suddenly Kuja and Seymour are running around in a blind panic)
Kuja: Whatever shall I wear? Oh God! Where's my makeup?
Seymour: Which suit should I wear? My normal clothes, robot suit with claw thingy, other robot suit with huge floating thank thingy or the crystal see- through suit?
(In case you don't know, he's referring to his different boss forms)
Sephiroth: First of all: WTF!!! And second of all; we're not invited!
Kuja & Seymour: Those – fucking – wankers...
Kefka: I have a plan!
Seymour: What is it?
Kuja: Hurry up! I'm getting goose bumps all over!
Sephiroth: Yes. I can see that!
Kefka: It's simple yet effective! We sit here and sulk!
Sephiroth: .........
Seymour: Riiiggghhhttt...
Kuja: Why don't go and crash it?
Sephiroth: Alright! We're going to crash their shitty little party and possibly kill a few people while we're at it!
Seymour: Does there have to be killing involved?
Kuja: Can't we all just get along?
Sephiroth: (Sighs) Why the hell did you two go into the evil super villain business in the first place?
Kuja and Seymour: (Shrugging) We needed a hobby.
(Back in Besaid)
Yuna: As the high summoner, I must go to this party and get royally tanked up!
Lulu: Yuna, you can barely stand up after one wine spritzer, never mind anything else!
Yuna: ......... fuck off!
Lulu: Bring it on bitch!
(They start to fight by pulling each others hair, scratching and getting in the odd slap. Then Tidus and Wakka walk in)
Wakka: Whoa! Bitch fight!
Tidus: Who's you're money on?
Wakka: I don't care. Hey, fancy throwing in some mud?
(All of sudden they are both off the ground, stopped fighting and are best friends again. Isn't that just typical of girls)
Yuna: Lets never fight again.
Lulu: Never agin!
Wakka: Awwwww... and it was just getting good.
Tidus: hey Yuna, do ya wanna get laid during the party (wink, wink)?
Yuna: No thanks. After screwing you in the pool in Macalania woods, I think I'll give it a while.
Tidus: Screwed? We only kissed!
Yuna: Oh yeah, that was Wakka!
(Wakka is sneaking away when suddenly...)
Tidus and Lulu: WWWAAAKKKKKKAAA!!!
Wakka: Bugger!
(once again Benny Hill music)
Yuna: Eh? Wait a minute?
(she checks in a bush to find......... Benny Hill with his hi-fi)
Benny: What? I'm just doing my job!
Yuna: Just fuck off! It's all your fault all these chase scenes have appeared through out the whole fucking fan fic!
Benny: Fine (turns off hi-fi)! Just you wait! I shall have my revenge! (Disappears in a puff of smoke)
Lulu: Strange... I know Wakka's a bastards but I no longer have the need to chase and eventually beat the shit of him.
Tidus: Yes. Me too.
Wakka: Well, of that's the case......... anyone for Twister? Well that's chapter seven done, I hope you're happy! Of no one laughs at this chapter, then I'll rip your balls off and shove where the sun don't shine......... possibly a deep cave of sorts. Unless you're a female reader in which case I'm screwed. Next week we get to see FF4 and 5 characters. Possibly some from KH as well. I don't know how long I've been typing that and never actually doing it. And you know what? I'm really sorry for all the readers I've put into therapy for the overly detailed description of Queen Brahne. I guess you can thank Sephiroths-The-Way-To-Go for that! Well, seeya!
H.F: Hi there, Heavens Fury here and this is chapter 7! And you know what? I feel like being a right bastard! Guess what? The party's going to be cancelled! Bwahahahaha!!! I am so evil!
Cloud: Errr... actually the party's still on.
H.F: Thank you SO much you bastard! I was saying that just to piss off all the thick shit readers off!
(Suddenly there is a knock at the door)
H.F: Wait there Cloud while I get the door... and don't touch anything!
As H.F walks off Cloud is already nosing around in the fridge. H.F opens the door to see......... an angry mob!)
H.F: Hi, can I help you?
Mob: Yeah! Are the fuck head who said all the readers are thick shits?
H.F: Errrr... no, he is! (Points at Cloud who has his head in the fridge)
Cloud: (mouth full) Whumph!
Mob: GET HIM!
Cloud: (spitting food) AAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!
(Cue Benny Hill music)
H.F: What the – hold on a sec!
(Pulls open the fridge to see......... Benny Hill holding a hi-fi in there)
Benny: What?
H.F: Riiiggghhhttt... (closes fridge door) Anyway, last chapter, we saw what the FF9 crew was up to and Kefka's Wedgie bonanza. Also, at the end of the chapter, Vincent's misfortune (shudders). This chapter we focus on the FF10 gag and the bad guys finally find out about the party.
(In Luca)
Cid X: Okay... how the hell am I gonna turn this goddamn blitz sphere into a giant Jacuzzi? I could Ifrit pwer it... but them the possibility of boiling everyone like lobsters could arise. Maybe I could invent a super heater system to warm up the water...
(Cid X begins to rub his chrome dome in a think sort of manner)
Cid X: Nah... I'll stick with the Ifrit idea.
(Over in Beasaid is kicking a blitzball around. God knows why. He's shit at Blitzball anyway. Wakka is also there doing fuck all)
Tidus: Look at me! I'm the greatest Blitzball player in the world!
Wakka: No! I am!
Sin: No! I am!
Tidua & Wakka: WTF!!!
Sin: Shit. (Fucks off)
Tidus: You know what Wakka?
Wakka: What?
Tidus: I want to be just like my Dad.
Wakka: What!? You want to weigh over 1 gazillion tons and kill hundreds of people every time you have a shit!
Tidus: Well... I'm half way there.
Wakka: Besides, what kind of a father is he to you anyway?
Sin: (From really far away) a shit one!
Tidus: You can't argue with that logic!
Wakka: Would you even risk arguing with something that big?
Tidus: Ah touché.
Wakka: Shut up! That reminds me, Cid X told me we're all invited to a big party!
Tidus: Awwwww... I don't want to go to a stinky party...
Wakka: There going to be alcohol...
Tidus: To the party!
Wakka: Do you even know where it is?
Tidus: What do I look like? Someone with a brain cell!
Wakka: If you had just one you'd be dangerous! It's being held at the Luca blitz stadium on Sunday.
Tidus: Awww... me need booze now... (cries)
Wakka: It's only three days!
Tidus: Hello! I haven't drunk anything alcoholic in over three monthes!
Wakka: OH GOD!!!
(At the bad guys base, Kuja and Seymour are playing scrabble. It's amazing how many words there are for someone being a 'fruit'. Kefka on the other hand, is making a batch of cream pies)
Kefka: Anyone fancy going out with me and creaming some poor sods in the face!
Kuja: Ooohhhh goody! Take me!
Seymour: Super! I wan to cream some people too!
Kefka: ......... on second thought...
(Suddenly Sephiroth bursts through the door)
Seymour, Kuja and Kefka: AAARRRGGGHHH!!!
Sephiroth: AAARRRGGGHHH!!!
Kuja: I've wet myself...
Kefka: Oh yeah! Well I've gone one step further!
Sephiroth: I can smell it from here!
Seymour: What in buggeries name are you doing bursting through the door like that!
Sephiroth: Big news! Cloud and his goody-goody friends are throwing a huge party!
(Suddenly Kuja and Seymour are running around in a blind panic)
Kuja: Whatever shall I wear? Oh God! Where's my makeup?
Seymour: Which suit should I wear? My normal clothes, robot suit with claw thingy, other robot suit with huge floating thank thingy or the crystal see- through suit?
(In case you don't know, he's referring to his different boss forms)
Sephiroth: First of all: WTF!!! And second of all; we're not invited!
Kuja & Seymour: Those – fucking – wankers...
Kefka: I have a plan!
Seymour: What is it?
Kuja: Hurry up! I'm getting goose bumps all over!
Sephiroth: Yes. I can see that!
Kefka: It's simple yet effective! We sit here and sulk!
Sephiroth: .........
Seymour: Riiiggghhhttt...
Kuja: Why don't go and crash it?
Sephiroth: Alright! We're going to crash their shitty little party and possibly kill a few people while we're at it!
Seymour: Does there have to be killing involved?
Kuja: Can't we all just get along?
Sephiroth: (Sighs) Why the hell did you two go into the evil super villain business in the first place?
Kuja and Seymour: (Shrugging) We needed a hobby.
(Back in Besaid)
Yuna: As the high summoner, I must go to this party and get royally tanked up!
Lulu: Yuna, you can barely stand up after one wine spritzer, never mind anything else!
Yuna: ......... fuck off!
Lulu: Bring it on bitch!
(They start to fight by pulling each others hair, scratching and getting in the odd slap. Then Tidus and Wakka walk in)
Wakka: Whoa! Bitch fight!
Tidus: Who's you're money on?
Wakka: I don't care. Hey, fancy throwing in some mud?
(All of sudden they are both off the ground, stopped fighting and are best friends again. Isn't that just typical of girls)
Yuna: Lets never fight again.
Lulu: Never agin!
Wakka: Awwwww... and it was just getting good.
Tidus: hey Yuna, do ya wanna get laid during the party (wink, wink)?
Yuna: No thanks. After screwing you in the pool in Macalania woods, I think I'll give it a while.
Tidus: Screwed? We only kissed!
Yuna: Oh yeah, that was Wakka!
(Wakka is sneaking away when suddenly...)
Tidus and Lulu: WWWAAAKKKKKKAAA!!!
Wakka: Bugger!
(once again Benny Hill music)
Yuna: Eh? Wait a minute?
(she checks in a bush to find......... Benny Hill with his hi-fi)
Benny: What? I'm just doing my job!
Yuna: Just fuck off! It's all your fault all these chase scenes have appeared through out the whole fucking fan fic!
Benny: Fine (turns off hi-fi)! Just you wait! I shall have my revenge! (Disappears in a puff of smoke)
Lulu: Strange... I know Wakka's a bastards but I no longer have the need to chase and eventually beat the shit of him.
Tidus: Yes. Me too.
Wakka: Well, of that's the case......... anyone for Twister? Well that's chapter seven done, I hope you're happy! Of no one laughs at this chapter, then I'll rip your balls off and shove where the sun don't shine......... possibly a deep cave of sorts. Unless you're a female reader in which case I'm screwed. Next week we get to see FF4 and 5 characters. Possibly some from KH as well. I don't know how long I've been typing that and never actually doing it. And you know what? I'm really sorry for all the readers I've put into therapy for the overly detailed description of Queen Brahne. I guess you can thank Sephiroths-The-Way-To-Go for that! Well, seeya!