Disclaimer: Guess what! I don't own em! I own the plot. Cassandra is my own creation though!! -
The Last of the Marauders
chapter 3
The History of the Distraught
Cassandra looked down. "I only have one thing to start to answer your questions. It's my fault your parents are dead. It's all my fault." Harry, Ron and Hermione stared at her aghast. "WHAT?!" bellowed Harry. "What do you mean it's your fault?! What are you? A death eater? Did Voldemort offer you eternal youth or something? Was it even Pettigrew who sold them out?!" Cassandra had to squeeze her eyes shut to keep from bursting into tears. "Let me explain Harry. You know not of what you talk about." she said quietly. "Yes, I would say she is right Harry. I can't picture that she would be lying about this, though I myself am interested to know as well." said Remus, who had come into the room when Harry started yelling. Cassandra sighed. "Now, first thing you have to understand, all of you, is that I was 20 and naive. All I wanted was to marry Sirius, have my baby, and live happily. Yes, I was in the Order, but that was all I wanted other than to defeat Voldemort. When James and Lily went under the fidelius charm and made Srius their secret keeper, I got scared that he would get tortured until they killed him, since he would never, ever betray the two of them. Well, any of the three of you actually. I persuaded them to change the keeper to Peter, since I thought he would never betray the three of you either. I was obviously wrong. The night it happened, I was on my way over to help take care of you. But by the time I got there, it was too late. Hagrid had already left with you, and I ran into Sirius. He told me and then I thought I was going to die as well, as I'm sure you and Sirius did as well." she said, looking at Remus. He nodded. "I felt guilty and responsible. Afterwards, Remus, you didn't even talk to me, and I knew Sirius was suspicious of me. I'm sure everyone thought I was in leagues with Voldemort as well. About three days after it happened, some of the death eaters attacked mine and Sirius's house. Sirius was out and I was at home. When they attacked me, Lucius hit me with yet another dark curse, it killed my baby. I hadn't even told James and Lily I was pregnant yet, though I suspect they knew. I was about three months pregnant, but I hadn't gotten any larger. I had a miscarriage and then I felt even guiltier than before. When Sirius came home that night, I told him that I couldn't bear it anymore, and I told him to forget about me, to forget I ever existed. The very next day, I packed my things and moved to America. I got an apartment in New York and a job right outside of it. I suppose Sirius never mentioned me since I told him to forget me. I couldn't erase his memory, since I was in his life since he was 12, but I think he managed to put me far enough behind him. I found out a few weeks later that he had been carted off to Azkaban for his 'crimes'. I knew he didn't do it, but I was of no use, since most people thought I was a death eater. Then, just recently, I got an owl from Dumbledore and he told me I had to see him. So I did. Then he told me everything that has been going on these past 15 years, including just recently. As far as my looks, I said Lucius hit me with another spell, that killed my baby. The first one he got me with when I was 18. It was some odd spell that froze my body in time. I never age anymore. I haven't since. I believe that should answer any other questions you may have." she finished. Harry gaped at her. "You're lying." he said. Cassandra closed her eyes and shook her head. "I wish I was Harry. I wish with all of my heart that I was lying. I wish I was 6 feet under, and the rest of them were still here to take care of you properly, but they aren't, and me leaving again won't make things any better. I AM your godmother Harry, and it is my duty to take care of you and I intend on making it up to you. I doubt I could get you a great broom, but I'll do anything." she said weakly. Harry gazed at her, as if seeing her for the first time. "I don't want you to do anything. You've done enough." he said angrily, then got up and ran out of the room. Ron and Hermione went after him, but Remus remained where he stood.
"Everything you said, was it true?" he asked softly. Cassandra nodded. "Yes. I wouldn't lie to him. I think I should try keeping people's trust if I can ever earn any back." "I never knew." "Which part? That I wasn't a death eater?" "NO! That you were pregnant. If even James didn't know, certainly he wouldn't have told me, you know that. Imagine if you had had that the baby. How different things might have been..." he trailed off. "I know Remus, but the past can not be changed, even with a time turner, you know that." she sighed. "You don't know how much I wish our friends and Sirius were back Moony, you really don't. I'd give up my life to bring them back." "As would I, but then they would be without us, and you should know very well that Sirius couldn't live without you." pointed out Remus. "He did for 15 years." she said quietly. "Doubt it Cas. Just because he didn't say anything, doesn't mean that he didn't feel it inside." "Guess you're right. But I should go try and reason with Harry. If my own godson hated me, that would be the icing on my emotional cake." "You'd better let me go first Cas. I think he might listen to me more." suggested Remus. "Ok."
Harry sat on Ron's bed, fuming. Ron and Hermione were trying to cheer him up, but to no avail. "Harry, at least you still have her! And Remus!" said Hermione hopefully. "Yeah, but she is why my parents are dead Hermione, and she has been gone all of this time. How can you expect me to warm up to her like that?" he snapped his fingers. "Well, you warmed up to Sirius that fast, and he was gone for almost 13 years." points out Ron. "But that wasn't his fault!" cried Harry. "And Cas trusting Peter and being betrayed by him like the rest of them was her fault?" demanded Hermione. "She's the one who persuaded them to change their secret keeper." sneered Harry. "And again, she was deceived, just like the rest of them were Harry. That was NOT her fault." "Well then why didn't she stay?" "She told you, and besides, I bet you there were other reasons that she didn't stick around. If you don't even trust her, how can you expect her to trust you with important things like that? From the looks of her, she wouldn't have survived those years in Azkaban, and you know very well that she would have gone after Peter as well. Then you would have nobody but Remus. Is that what you want?" asked Hermione. Harry shook his head and there was a knock on the door. Ron went and answered it. It was Remus. "Hello." he said glumly. "What's the matter?" asked Harry worriedly. "I wonder Harry. Did any of the things that Cassandra told you actually sink in?" asked Remus. "Every single word." he replied. "Then I am worried about both you and Cas. I worry about you, since you have closed yourself off. You didn't even give Cas a chance, when she is one of the reasons why you walk on this earth today, even if it might be without your parents. There are many things about Cassandra which I am not willing to tell you, and she will tell you in her own good time. But there is one thing that you have to understand about Cas. She was one of the best friends that we ever had, your mother and father included, and she meant the world to Sirius. But keep in mind, the two of you have this much in common, neither of you have had a very easy life." he then turned on his heel and left the room.
Harry stared at the door even after Remus had closed it. "What do you think he meant?" he asked them. "I don't know. But it seems that she has been through a lot. Maybe more than you Harry." said Hermione. "I doubt it. She wouldn't have been cowardly enough to leave." said Harry. "Do you know how bloody inconsiderate you are being? Didn't Remus say she was why you were around? Maybe she hooked your mum and dad up." suggested Ron. "I think you should give her a chance Harry. She's your godmother, can't you tell she cares about you?" asked Hermione desperately. "Ok. I'll give her a chance, but I don't know if she'll be able to keep my trust."