RATING: PG-13
PAIRING: Harm/Mac
Disclaimer: I do not own JAG
Author's Note: Thanks to everyone who has been reading and everyone who has been patient with me as I write this story. This past chapter took some time because of a particular scene, and I am so glad to finally finish it!! I only have one small little scene left that I will label as an epilogue. I hope all have enjoyed it, and I thank everyone who has reviewed. Reviews always welcome! Thanks!
Chapter Title: My Immortal1500 MST – the next day
Fort Huachuca
Arizona
"Are you sure that's what it meant?" Agent Winters asked anxiously as he walked closely next to Mac through the well-lit hallway before them. He knew he had questioned her a dozen times since the night before, but again he felt a dire need to be sure they were making the correct assumptions. He also knew questioning Mac's theory was like challenging her relationship with Commander Rabb and the merit it was built on. He didn't care how many annoyed sighs he received in response, only concerned with ensuring they were following the right course before it was too late.
Mac sighed in response once again, just as he expected, as they walked into the U.S. Army Intelligence Center, a headquarters for training army personnel in reconnaissance located at Fort Huachuca. Not only was this base close to Red Rock Mesa, considering they needed to approach by helicopter, it also housed an intelligence center which could aid the CIA ops in tracking and photographing the activities at the specified site. Now walking from the hallway into the huge reconnaissance space, Mac found herself extremely happy to be here, feeling they were that much closer to getting Harm back.
"You have to trust me, Agent Winters. RRM is ... an inside joke between Harm and myself," Mac explained briefly with a soft smile as they stepped up to an Army officer standing behind an array of screens. "Colonel Harding."
Colonel Harding smiled as he turned to them, a strong looking man with rough features, and a few inches taller than Mac. Extending his hand to both of them, he observed, "Lieutenant Colonel Mackenzie. I haven't seen you since Bosnia. I have to admit, I hardly expected a Marine officer to ask the Army for help."
Mac smiled. "Well, it was more like the CIA asking for your help, though I am happy for it." Indeed she was. In the moment of crisis, the very moment she was now in, who helped her didn't matter much. Getting Harm back with the least resistance, with the least problems, was her main priority.
"Well, our services are rightly available. Despite having to rescue a squid," Harding remarked with a smirk, as he gazed to Agent Winters. "You wanted to use Black Hawks, I understand?"
Winters nodded. "Yes, Colonel. Black Hawks, Army Rangers, and my CIA ops. I don't want to give the terrorist group a chance to breathe." Mac distinctly remembered Clayton Webb's obsession with using Marine Recon to help do his dirty work. Oddly enough, Winters tended to use Army Rangers and Delta Force, which, along with the distance from Red Rock Mesa, was another reason why Mac found herself at Fort Huachuca rather than the USMC Air Station also in Arizona.
Harding nodded knowingly. "Understood. The President has just been informed of the situation, and has given us authorization to use effective, necessary means to not only rescue Commander Rabb, but to also secure the location." Pausing a bit and moving to a video taken by a satellite of the target, he continued, "With that said, it's best to approach at night, when the Black Hawks have the most advantage because of the advanced technology on board. Once you called, we've been monitoring the location for some time. They've dug into the spot well, hardly noticeable."
Mac stepped a bit closer, seeing only minuscule movements among the huge rock structures. "What kind of force do they have?"
Harding shrugged. "Not seeing much of them, it's hard to tell. Though we assume at least one helicopter, if not more. We're not sure what type, perhaps a Hemy. We've had trouble getting a good read."
"That's likely. A while back, the Marine Corp. Air Station reported a missing Hemy. It left with a few men for a normal test run, and suddenly it was gone. No one could explain it," Mac supplied, remembering the odd case and Harm's involvement in the investigation. He had told her many of the details, much of the base and it's inhabitants under a kind of house arrest to decide how such a breach of security could occur. In the end, many Marines found themselves in court-martial for obstruction of justice to disobeying an order. Needless to say, the entire mess changed the base entirely.
However, in the end, they never found the helicopter, the pilots returning to the base on foot and claiming they were hijacked, yet unable to supply a story worth believing.
"How many men?" Winters asked, stepping closer, his trained eye giving the pictures in front of him a careful read. Needless to say, despite how many men, they would still go in and get Rabb. At the very least, if they didn't get to him in time, finally reaching the main headquarters of this drabble of a terrorist group would be worth it. However, he kept his own personal line of success to himself, especially from Mac. Clearly at this point they were on separate missions. She had served her purpose, despite the numerous instances he had questioned her. In fact, looking at the pictures of evidence in front of him, Winters knew he could question no more. Rabb led them right to the base.
Didn't the CIA want that from him in the first place?
Harding shrugged slightly. "We've counted up to twenty so far."
Mac felt her mind drift to Harm again, seeing him lying helplessly in the deep cave, idle with overwhelming pain, perhaps close to death. Perhaps dreaming of her, just as she was of him. "Have they brought Harm there yet?"
"The only small action that we have observed is a few cars stopping and then leaving. Some of them looked like possibilities of a drop off, but we can't promise anything. Nothing was one hundred percent," Harding explained, clearly wishing he could offer more.
"What's the course of action you recommend?" Winters asked, moving a little further down the panel of screens to gaze at a different view of their target.
Harding rubbed his chin absently, his mind clearly thinking of a plan that offered the most success. To him success meant, at the very least, rescuing Commander Rabb. Sure it would be nice to capture the base, which, at this point, seemed like an easy task if handled correctly. It was safe to assume that these two goals could be accomplished at the same time, with not much standing in their way.
"I would suggest about six Black Hawks, one medi-vac, just in case. Three full of Army Rangers, one with your CIA ops, one with command, and the last with snipers circling the area. I suggest send your CIA ops and a chalk of Army Rangers inside, the second and third chalks land outside to protect the perimeter. The Black Hawks stay afloat and provide cover with the snipers and any possible helicopters that may try to leave," Harding explained quickly, gazing to Mac, who smiled knowingly at the plan. It was a basic snatch and grab, except with a little twist of CIA intelligence.
Winters may be after important papers, perhaps even assuming this was the headquarters he had been searching for.
Mac, however, briefly moved her hand to her neck, touching the second set of dog tags hanging closely against her own.
For me, Mac thought, it's personal.
Very personal.
2010 MST
Approaching Red Rock Mesa
Arizona
Harm vaguely heard the sound of the loud engine, the truck puffing and grunting as it moved along at a fast pace. Lying in the small back seat, he pulled instinctively at his bonds as he easily gained consciousness. Only then did he realize how scrunched he felt in the small space, his tall frame barely able to fit. Gazing to the two seats ahead of him, he saw his two captors, heard them talking quietly. Harm sighed slightly as he felt the pain from his injuries begin to enter his attention span finally. Some of it he's been able to drown out, ignore, and even forget about it. Other injuries, such as his back, which already ached before this little escapade, and his chest could not be ignored, only dealt with.
Looking out the back left window and seeing the familiar foreground flipping past like a silent picture, he knew exactly where they were and how close they had come. The trip had taken all night and all the next day, the travel slow and steady, and the two captors only stopping to eat and relieve themselves. During those short moments, Harm sensed it would be a catastrophe to attempt to escape with so many people around. Any number of things could go wrong, especially when he wasn't at full health.
Now, however, getting close to their destination, Harm felt the chance to escape arise. Sure, escaping from them in the middle of the dessert was both clever and stupid, remembering that though this was his best chance, there would be nowhere for him to go. However, feeling the absence of his dog tags clearly, deep down he knew Mac was coming for him. He knew it would only be a matter of time. All he would have to do is wait. Actually, he felt it was best to do this, to stay out of the cave at Red Rock Mesa at all costs.
Feeling the truck begin to slow, Harm felt his heart jump with anticipation, his pain making itself known even more, reminding him of his own line of tolerability. This exertion of force might take more energy and more flexibility than he had. However, thinking of Mac, her image floating in his mind, he knew nothing could stop him. He had to keep going.
Just as suddenly, the small door to the back opened up, an arm reaching in and grabbing him, pulling him out and on his feet. Just as suddenly, Harm turned and nailed him across the head with his bound hands without giving his plan of escape a second thought. Turning, ignoring the pain searing through his now awakened muscles, he heard a snap of a safety on a gun.
Grabbing the first man who was barely standing as he held his head in his hands from the first blow, Harm swiveled him in front of him as shield in that instant second before the second man could hold up on his intentions. The bullet shot through the first man's chest, giving Harm the distraction he needed to open the front passenger door for another shield, the second bullet nicking off the rusted door.
As the first man dropped helplessly to the ground, the second man came running towards the opened door, only to be grabbed by Harm and slammed against the back of the truck. Harm hit him in the gut and tried to nail him in the face, but could only do so much with his hands bonded so tightly. Instantly, his advantage wavered as the second man pushed him away to take out his gun again, only to have Harm grab it as well.
The struggle continued, moving across the rough dessert floor, sand flying around them because of their scuffed movements. The man shoved him against the front of the truck, his back screaming in pain at the rough hit, only vaguely realizing the gun coming to his face. What made him move his face just in time, he didn't know, but Harm heard the bullet whiz past his left ear, missing him, but again hitting the hood.
Harm grunted as he pushed him down to the ground, the anger and rage rising in him, gaining his balance only enough to knee the man in the gut again.
In the next instant, before Harm had a chance to register anything else ...
The gun went off again.
Harm sucked in a deep breath, falling away from the man, his eyes frantically searching his chest and stomach. Yet nothing hurt, nothing more than usual, and no extra blood.
Gazing to the man in front of him, he realized then this guy's horrible aim had cost him. Writhing, the man yelped as the blood oozed from his stomach, the gun falling from his hands. Harm ran to it quickly, grabbing it before the man realized he had dropped it. Taking it and aiming it at the man's head, he quickly ran through the benefits of killing him. Though there were many, and though he felt a need for revenge, he also couldn't do it. The man would most likely die anyway, and by his own hand. Harm didn't feel it necessary to droop to his level.
Moaning, Harm felt his own pain rising in his muscles, his back, and every part of his body involved in the confrontation. Bending down to the man, he searched his pockets to find the key to his bonds, as well as the keys to the truck.
Finding both, he released his hands, threw the keys to the man and ran to the truck. Closing the passenger door and running to the driver's side, he saw a small radio attached to the dashboard, voices crackling through the poor reception. Aiming, he shot the radio up before throwing the gun into the passenger seat and stepping in. Hastening his movements, knowing full well that radio meant someone would begin missing these two men if they didn't respond, leaving as soon as possible seemed the best idea ever.
Yet as he placed the keys into the ignition and tried to turn the engine over, nothing happened. The truck merely coughed and gasped with each try, his heart racing with fear as he realized God did not want him to escape this horrible torture. Grimacing, he grabbed the gun and stepped out, opened the hood only to be met with an enormous dark cloud of smoke. Stepping back instinctively, he realized then one of the bullets had possibly hit the engine. Whatever happened, the truck was useless.
Grunting again, he placed the gun in his back pocket and began to walk, and then run away from the huge rock formation towering over him. Now all he could hope for, all that was left, was Mac. Normally not a bad thing to depend on, right now he only hoped she was on the trail. He hoped she saw his dog tags, saw the letters he etched, and was coming for him.
Ten minutes into his run he instantly realized he could not go for long. His pain took too much of his energy. Just before him was a small rock jutting out from the dessert, just big enough to hide his presence if he hid behind it. Nearly falling to it, he dropped to his knees and moved to lean against it, his breath coming in ragged gasps. Leaning his head against the rough rock, his chest screaming with pain, his legs like rubber, his back feeling distinctly painful and odd, all he could do was look up at the dark, black sky. The stars twinkled, offering a slight comfort, his mind traveling light years ago.
He remembered then a particular time of worry, a time just like this. He and Mac had been going out for a month, still a little taken aback by their deep feelings for each other. She had left for the U.S.S. Bennington just a few days before, dealing with a court martial that the Captain insisted on having on board. Mac prosecuted the man and he was convicted. Yet the defendant, knowing his career in the Navy was over, took matters in his own hands as he was being taken away. Slugging the guard, he grabbed the man's gun and held the courtroom hostage for nearly three hours before he was taken down.
He remembered that ...
Krennick refused to give him any information other than she was in trouble, giving Harm another reason to dislike the new JAG.
He remembered ...
That night, lying on his couch, gazing up at the ceiling just as he was gazing at the sky now, praying Mac would come to him. Praying she would return.
Praying she would save him ...
Praying they would see each other again ...
2010 EST
5 months prior
North of Union Station
Washington, D.C.
Harm looked blankly at the ceiling up above as he lay comfortably on his couch. The only light in the room came from a lone lamp on a nightstand next to the couch, its glow small, creating an orange orb on the ceiling above. Allowing his eyes to drift in the otherwise dark ceiling, he thought of her, his Mac. His Sarah. She was a thousand miles away, at least, investigating a difficult case. He expected the Admiral to send him with her, just as always, yet this time she separated them.
And what a time to do so, Harm thought bitterly.
Just that day the JAG office received word that the man Mac was prosecuting, after hearing his conviction, took everyone in the courtroom hostage. How the man ever got the gun, how he ever got himself free from the guard, one would never know. Though he had been trained as a SEAL, Harm remembered, so that may have something to do with it. Yet now, no more information was available. At least not to Mac's colleagues. If Krennick heard anymore, she didn't share it with anyone else. Perhaps to save them, perhaps to create a small barrier in case the situation got worse.
Perhaps to hide the truth.
Maybe Krennick thought she was doing everyone a favor, but Harm only huffed at the thought. He, of all people, needed to know the status of the hostage situation. And maybe she knew of his relationship with Mac, maybe that was why she chose to keep it quiet. Maybe.
Yet he had a right to know. Deep down, he had a right.
He was Sarah's boyfriend ... I have a right to know!
Hearing a knock at the door, Harm instantly remembered he had ordered a pizza to drown his sorrows in. Smirking, he remembered the numerous times he and Mac shared one together, investigated a case over one, and comforted each other over one. And recently ... held each other over one.
Why pizza became their food of romance, Harm would never know. Yet it made him laugh inwardly, the stress of the day melting away just a little. Mac doesn't even have to be here to make me laugh, he observed with a smile.
"Come in," he shouted lightly to the door. The last thing he wanted to do was get up from this position, yet he was also hungry, barely eating anything all day due to his workload and his worry for Mac. Sitting up on the couch, he heard the door open as he turned away from it to grab his wallet off the coffee table. Taking out twenty dollars, he stood and moved toward the door, only to feel a need to sit down again at the sight suddenly before him.
In the dim light from the lamp, Mac's face was only slightly under shadow as she stepped up to him, wearing her summer fatigues and her hair still up, the bag she always used on carrier trips slung over her shoulder. "Hey you," she whispered, unable to hide her joy at seeing his handsome face, his casual dress in shorts and a T-shirt. Gesturing to the money in his hand, she chided gently, "I thought I was worth more than that."
Harm's face slipped from awe to a huge smile, his own joy gleaming from his deep blue eyes. "Mac ..." he began, stepping up to her as she dropped her bag to the floor next to her. "I didn't expect you back until Monday."
Shrugging slightly, Mac answered quietly, folding her arms, "Well, after everything that happened ...", yet she couldn't finish, her gaze shifting to the floor, the fear of those three hours oddly stilling her in a way no other dangerous moment in her life had, save maybe the experience with Sadik.
Harm turned from joy to serious as he gazed into her eyes, her cheeks flush with red that could mean any of three things; either one, she was embarrassed, two; she was excited, or three; she was extremely saddened. Being home finally, Harm didn't know why she would feel the latter, his own confusion evident as he asked gently, taking her hand, "What?"
Finally looking up to him, no other words said, she embraced him, burying her head into his firm shoulder, the comfort of his arms something she had longed for, yearned for during the past few days. "Just hold me," she whispered gently, her arms tight around his waist, Harm feeling his heart catch in his throat as he buried his own face in her neck.
However, the moment wasn't meant to last as another knock on the door echoed through the silent apartment. Harm sighed gently and lifted his head to look down at her, smiling. "Pizza," he whispered, seeing her immediately smirk in return.
"So you did know I was coming," she observed playfully through her serious eyes, getting a wide smile from the tall man before her.
Shrugging, he replied, "I thought it might get you to come back." Mac laughed lightly at that, watching as he moved to the door to answer it. Walking into the kitchen, the events of the day began to fill her consciousness again. For some time she had kept it out, kept her mind on Harm, on being here, on being in his arms. Counting on his comfort to drive her hurt away. Yet perhaps he had dealt with the same type of hurt that she had, though thousands of miles away from it.
Opening the refrigerator, she grabbed two small bottles of soda and turned to see Harm place the pizza on the small island before sliding on a stool. Standing opposite of him, she slid him a diet Coke as he opened the pizza box to reveal her favorite, meat-lovers. Though one side had vegetables, the other side was clearly the complete opposite. "Were you going to eat all of that?" she asked, unable to hide a small smile.
Harm shrugged sheepishly, a small smile playing over his lips, "Well, I was just going to pick off all of that crap, because I couldn't see myself ordering a pizza without at least pretending you were here to eat it with me."
Mac felt her heart 'awe' in response, despite how strange the idea would seem to someone else. To her, it meant he really missed her. Yet the thought made her wonder. "What did you hear?"
Harm sipped his diet Coke before answering, "Just that the entire court room was taken hostage."
Mac grimaced. "That's it?"
Harm only nodded, wishing to keep his feelings of helpless worry to himself. Mac's silence, however, urged him to ask with concern, "What happened?" Maybe she needed to talk about it, which seemed likely. He remembered when she stabbed the poacher during their lost time in the woods ages ago. The man had tried to kill her, possibly rape her, and she gutted him with his own knife. It was then Harm knew how strong this woman was, yet, in the same instance, how vulnerable she could be. The incident had affected her quite a bit, the need to kill, though normal in their line of work, still an unwelcome feeling. And eventually Mac wanted to discuss it.
However, Mac wouldn't budge here, saying in a careful whisper, "I really don't want to talk about it."
Harm only nodded, deciding to wait and let Mac set the tone. Just as before, and just as with every other moment of struggle in their lives, they eventually came to each other. He just needed to wait and be patient.
"How have you been doing?" Mac asked with a little more cheer, though Harm knew he would always be able to tell her real mood from her eyes. At the moment, her eyes spoke of heavy sadness.
Harm shrugged. "Okay. Mattie's settling in well. Tomorrow I have to move more of her things."
"I'll help," Mac remarked immediately with a comforting smile. She knew what the experience with Mattie has done to him. He worked his butt off to get custody of the girl, going through emotional hell with her father, with Mattie, and even, Mac had to admit, with her. And he stuck to it, gave the girl everything she needed to get back on track. Yet, after her father became well again and after month or so of reestablishing their relationship, Harm felt it was best they tried to take the next step; allowing them to live as a family. Though he promised both he would keep an observing eye on them, just in case.
And after all of that, after all of the sacrifices Harm has made, he's back to the beginning. Mac could see it, could see the enormous loss he was enduring. And in every way she could, Mac has tried to be there for him. Because in the end, all they had was each other, right?
Harm smiled in return. "Thanks. I just ...". Yet he stopped, not wanting to continue.
Mac reached a hand over, taking his in hers, insisting gently, "What?" In that moment, Mac saw it. They were hiding. And not just from the problems they were dealing with at the moment, but also from that kiss. Actually, Mac realized they had not discussed it, nor had they been alone long enough to do so. It was a taboo subject, something they acted like they had forgotten, yet it was on the very edge of their minds, lingering. The kiss stemmed not just from the passion they felt, but from the ability to completely let go in each other's presence. And it didn't just mean talking about their problems, but really sharing them.
It was something they had not done since this all began. Since Paraguay. Since Australia. Since he left JAG years ago.
And it was the core of the problem for Mac. And deeply, she knew it was the same with Harm.
Harm just shook his head. "Nothing."
Mac decided then to make the first move. In reality, she dealt with a lot of raging emotions during her time on the carrier. And all of them had to do with Harm. Every last one. "Harm, I think we need to talk."
I'm so tired of being here
Harm looked up then. "All right."
Mac sighed before saying, "When I was in that courtroom today, the gun aimed at me, at all of us, I was thinking of one thing." Pausing slightly, she stated quietly, "You."
Harm smiled, adding, "I was thinking of you, too."
Suppressed by all my childish fearsMac continued quietly, "I wasn't just thinking of you, but I was thinking of never getting to see you again. Of the fear we have towards each other when we're together. Of never facing that fear, taking full advantage of finally being together. And I thought of our kiss, our unwillingness to talk about it, or really, to admit there's more here than we ever thought possible."
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
Harm only continued to stay quiet, listening intently as she continued, stepping back to lean against the sink behind her, arms folded, "I have feared losing you before. But never like this. Before I feared losing you as a friend, and the remote possibility of something more. In that courtroom today, I feared I let that very real possibility of being together slip out of my grasp ... all because I was afraid, and I knew if I died then I wouldn't have lived my life to the fullest. A life that involved you."
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone
The last few words came in a whisper, Harm sighing carefully as he realized Mac's feelings mirrored his own. Gazing down at his pizza for a second, he then stood and moved around the small island to stand in front of her. Feeling Mac's bravery in this very moment, he knew it was his turn. This was Mac. His Mac, his Sarah. The words that have echoed in his mind all night. He can't be afraid. Not of this. Not of something that would fulfill every dream, every fantasy, and every future he ever wanted.
These wounds won't seem to heal
"I've been thinking of you every second," Harm began, deciding to lean back against the island just behind him, his own arms folded, "First when I was moving Mattie, and then tonight. After I heard the courtroom was taken hostage, I couldn't stop mulling over what would happen if I never saw you again. What did I just let pass me by? All because I've been afraid."
This pain is just too realMac reached out, taking his hand in hers again. "Because we've both been afraid."
There's just too much that time cannot erase
Harm then stepped up to her, only inches away, stretching his arms out to the sink behind her, trapping her, asking in a whisper, "Why are you afraid?"
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
Mac felt his presence, almost intoxicating, filling her world, the fear beginning to melt under his eyes, under his quiet promises. "I don't want to lose you. I don't want to get hurt again." The response came so honestly, in a hushed whisper only meant for Harm to hear and no one else. Because only he could see. Caressing his cheek, she asked, "Why are you afraid?"
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fearsFeeling her soft touch, he responded with deep honesty, "Because I've never felt this way about anyone. And I don't want to lose your friendship."
I held your hand through all of these years
Mac knew the barrier had been broken. The veil was lifted, and suddenly they saw each other for the first time. They saw why it took each of them nine years, why they have been so guarded with their heart, and why they were so afraid to jump. Why they were so afraid to love each other. The moment made her heart race just a bit, its rhythm her only reminder that she was sitting on earth rather than on a cloud high in the sky.
But you still have
Wrapping her arms around his neck, the intensity characterizing every word and every motion shared on this night, feeling his hands on her back on now, she stated with great emotion, "I don't want to be afraid anymore."
Harm moved his lips to kiss her cheek, and then slipped them to her ear. "Let's be brave together."
All of meMac closed her eyes, knowing she would never be the same again. This night would change both of them, and with it came every past emotion, every past moment of angst and anger, of fear and loneliness, of wishing and crying ... all leading up to this, all characterizing this moment, all remembered yet forgotten in the time to come.
This time was theirs.
You used to captivate me
By your resonating light
Feeling his kisses on her cheek again, then to her chin, then finally grazing her lips, Mac let herself go. The kiss was soft and sensual, not as heavy and intense as the last. Yet the heat was more powerful than anything she had ever felt as she slipped a hand to the back of his neck, deepening it ever so slightly. And for the first time she knew nothing was stopping them. This was their moment, reserved only for them, and Mac knew, feeling Harm's soft kisses move along her jaw line, then to her neck, that she would remember this moment for the rest of their lives.
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Rather than considering the ramifications of their actions, or considering exactly how different every thing would be after this night, Mac threw all of that away, leaving only Harm, his hands pulling her along towards the stairs, his breath to her skin causing her to lose herself. And perhaps it was the intoxicating feeling of being in his arms, or perhaps her own concentration with each kiss to his neck and shoulders that caused her to forget exactly where they were, a surprised urgency at feeling the bed just behind her.
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Stopping momentarily, a little short of breath, she looked into his deep blue eyes, seeing them close as her hand caressed his cheek once again. It had been a long time since she felt this intimate with anyone, if at all. Each caress, each soft touch, each kiss so meaningful, so careful, so strong as it brushed their souls. Never did she feel this way with anyone. Not Clay. Not Mic.
Only now.
Only with Harm.
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me
Grabbing his shirt, she lowered herself on the bed and pulled him with her, his weight a blanket of warmth, his hands to her uniform moving gently and carefully. Before long, as he kissed her deeply again, she felt soft caresses across her stomach, her own actions gaining momentum as she helped him remove his shirt. And again they stopped to look at each other, somewhat surprised by their actions, but at the same time a sense of relief, a sense of finally being exactly where they wanted to be.
Realizing they wanted to be nowhere else the rest of their lives.
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
Mac felt a small smile cross her lips, Harm lowering his head to hers, the intense intimacy shared once again as she traced the back of her hand across his cheek, and then moving her thumb to touch his chin. And Mac knew this was what they were missing all these years. This was what they were so afraid of. This was what was waiting for them on the other side, waiting for each to be ready to experience it together.
As one.
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tearsThe night continued, the intimacy intensifying with each moment, with every kiss, with every caress, every soft breath, and with every new discovery that came. Finally Mac thought of Harm as exactly who he has been to her for nine years, one way or another. He was her best friend, has always been.
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fearsBut now he was her lover.
I held your hand through all of these years
He was hers.
But you still have
And she was his.
All of meLying in his arms that night, having taken the step that neither thought they could, Mac knew they had been there for each other and would continue to be.
I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
As she lied awake, stretched out on top of Harm, gazing down at his sleeping, calm face, Mac began to consider what they had just done. She never thought it would be like this, and yet, deep in her soul, she knew the night would be like this and so much more.
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along
Again her hand went to his face, caressing it, feeling him instinctively lean into her touch softly and gently as her thumb traced across his lips.
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
In that moment, she felt a nice breeze, realizing she had forgotten about the fan that Harm had placed in the room because of the heat wave in Washington. Looking at it, it's spin calm and comfortable, a sense of relief washed over her. And Mac knew immediately the relief reached much deeper than the instant, physical comfort.
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fearsGazing down at Harm again, feeling his arms around her, her body pressed against his, she knew she wasn't afraid any longer.
I held your hand through all of these yearsThey would always trust each other. They would share everything with each other. And they would be there for each other always.
But you still haveAbove all ... they would love each other from this day forward.
All of meAt the very thought, overcome with emotion, Mac reached over and kissed him gently before laying back down. Nuzzling his neck, a soft kiss to his shoulder, her arms wrapping around him once again, her eyes finally fell on the spinning blades of the fan before falling into a deep sleep.
2030 MST
Approaching Red Rock Mesa
Arizona
Sitting at the edge on the side of the Black Hawk, dressed in CIA fatigues again and holding her pistol, Mac's eyes gazed up into the propellers, their movement much faster than her own eye, yet it's movements reminding her of the fan that night, the comfort and relief that came during that moment with Harm. Remembering that night, everything they shared and would continue to share afterwards, made her eyes fill quickly with tears of considering the real possibility of never finding him.
Of that moment lost forever ...
Why did she feel she was never going to see him again? Why did she think of that moment now, the most important moment of their relationship? Why was she suddenly acting like this was it? All of it, everything they meant to each other, and the future they wanted together, would survive only on what happened right now?
What was she missing?
Sighing, Mac gazed down below her, the ground eerily hidden by the cloud of sand and dust taken up by the suction of the propellers as they moved quickly along. The cloud seemed familiar, something about this picture recalling another trust issue she shared with Harm not too long ago.
In fact, Mac realized with a curious gaze, not long ago at all.
Feeling a dam breaking inside of her, observing the cloud as if it was the last clue leading her to Harm, she shouted into her radio, "Let me off."
Winters, who had been checking his guns and his little gadgets, looked to her with great question. "What?"
"I said put me down now," Mac insisted, this time much more forcefully, her eyes looking to meet his, suggesting there was no mistake in her request.
"Why?" Winter asked, obviously confused.
Mac shook her head. "Just put me down. I want off. You go ahead, but I want on the ground now." Instinctively, she felt a sudden urge of needing to find Harm on her own, and remembering why it was so important.
Winters sighed, his eyes displaying his confusion and unwillingness to comply. However, again he knew Mac would never do anything stupid, and obviously had a reason for her actions. "Okay, but I go with you, Colonel."
Mac pushed him back as they began to descend. "No, stay here. I mean it. That's an order, Agent Winters."
Winters shuffled back as the helicopter dropped to the ground, Mac giving him a reassuring nod and wink before jumping off. Inwardly he cursed himself for letting her go alone, and hoped to God that she would be able to take care of herself. Granted, she was a Marine, but something irked him with this new change of plan. Something didn't seem quite right.
Mac, however, new exactly what she was doing. Why she hadn't thought of it before, she didn't know. Perhaps it had something to do with her initial reaction when first hearing Harm speak of it. Perhaps she was so overwhelmed with losing Harm that she didn't think of the obvious, didn't remember what was really going on. So lost in his proposal, so lost in their relationship, and so lost in losing him so suddenly.
Now the memory of Harm caused her to think of it.
The dream ...
How could she forget?
Running along the dessert now, the cold night chill once again brushing across her face, she only hoped it wasn't too late. She hoped she thought of this in time, and hoped Harm was where she suspected.
The helicopters soaring overhead, the sand blowing up in front of her eyes, made the search that much difficult, and soon she found herself only about 20 feet away from the huge rock formation. Looking around frantically, gazing in every direction, her eyes caught an object lone in the dark night. Staring at it hard, taking in its shape, she soon figured it was a truck.
Sighing deeply, she moved carefully along the surface, being careful to keep her presence unknown. With the CIA ops and Army Rangers moving in, the last thing they may be looking for is her moving along their perimeter. In a way, the Rangers, she knew, had become a distraction from the real rescue of Harm. Deep down, she knew he was here somewhere. He knew he never made it up to the cave.
Reaching the truck, Mac saw what she didn't expect; one of the terrorist members lying dead. Walking around it, she checked inside the truck quickly to find nothing, and soon bent to check the body to ensure he was dead. Convinced, she then swiveled her head in all directions, her eyes searching the horizon frantically for any sign of Harm.
Closing her eyes, her mind again searching for Harm, her soul trying to hear his call, she knew the only course of action to take was to keep searching.
And that's exactly what she did.
2040 MST
Along Red Rock Mesa
Arizona
Opening his eyes carefully, Harm gazed up at the sky, realizing now he was lying flat on the ground. How he got like this, he had no clue. Only that his back now shouted with pain from lying on such rough terrain. Sleeping was probably not a good idea right now, though the urge to do so was taking hold. So out of strength, so tired and exhausted, he barely heard the rushing, loud sound in the sky. It was coming from behind him, he knew, and as he continued to gaze in the sky, he smiled more widely than ever. The dark images, the outlining of huge metallic structures, rushed past his view, their sound unmistakable.
Helicopters.
Black Hawks, he noted.
They were coming for him.
Harm found a second wind, sitting up, ignoring the pain, watching as they approached Red Rock, three of them landing in sequential order, dropping men, before lifting off and circling. They had come.
Though he couldn't stand very well, he tried anyway, his legs weak and rubbery as he began to walk. Not realizing it before, the helicopters circling began to create a dusty, sandy wall all around him. Barely able to see, he tried to walk, trying to wade and squint through the fog. Trying to keep his eyes open soon became a challenge, the sand and dust fighting his vision.
Yet one thing he didn't miss. One thing that stood out, and in this fog he wondered how it could, was a figure. Breathing rapidly, eyes squinting, he saw what he couldn't believe. He saw what he had seen in his dreams, in his heart and soul. The figure obviously noticed him and began to run towards him.
And as the figure approached, Harm still at least a hundred yards away, he heard his name called. "Harm!"
Mac! Harm's mind shouted her name. His voice still felt strained, his throat slightly raw, he fought to say her name, shout it as loud as he could, "Sarah!" Though unable to see her really well, he could tell she sounded extremely worried. Well, it was to be expected. They hadn't seen each other in a week. He almost died, they almost never saw each other again.
In fact, he felt his own desperation rising, knowing he wouldn't be happy until they were in each other's arms.
It was then he saw a second figure running towards him, behind Mac. So familiar the scene, barely remembering how tortured he had been by this image, he again shouted her name, this time in intense warning, "Sarah!"
Before Harm knew it, an explosion burst in front of Mac, sending her falling to her feet. And then another. And another. Shouting her name again, he struggled with his broken body, running as fast as he could towards her, though it turned quickly into a limped jog. Holding his side, he continued to shout her name, kept seeing the undisclosed figure approaching them.
And then he saw Mac struggling to stand, and turning towards the approaching man, only to see him pull out his pistol and shoot once, twice, and a third. Harm could only watch as Mac fell quickly to the ground, and screamed his own pain, hearing a snap across his ear, tripping in reaction and falling helpless to the dessert floor. On his hands and knees, he tried to crawl, but could do nothing, had no energy left to fight as the man continued to close the gap.
Harm tried to stand, attempted to at least get to his knees, the man only twenty feet away, his mind racing. Remembering his own gun in his back pocket, he grimaced at his stupidity, pulling out his own gun and aiming it, only to snap it and have nothing happen.
The man aimed his own gun, Harm soon realizing it was one of his captors back from the dead, again wanting to scream at himself for not making sure they were dead and making another mistake.
And before Harm could think further, a shot rang out.
Instinctively, Harm jerked backwards, expecting searing pain, expecting to see blood, expecting to see darkness.
Yet there was nothing.
Only the confused image before him, watching as the man stood still for only a second before falling quickly to the ground.
And behind him, pistol pointed, known for amazingly accuracy, stood Mac.
His Sarah.
Harm felt his heart beat rapidly, only to feel his weakness finally overcome as he dropped backwards to the ground in total exhaustion. Deep in his gut he knew it was over. He knew he had made it back to her, that Sarah had made it to him. That through everything, they found each other again. Closing his eyes, the loud, thumping sound of the helicopters continuing to circle, he barely registered the presence sitting next to him. Barely felt the soft touch to his cheek, only by instinct opening his eyes to see Mac kneeling and staring down at him.
"Hey, you," Mac said with a huge smile, though laced with worry as she moved her hands to his face, not only in comfort, but observing his time in captivity.
Harm smiled weakly. "I knew you'd come."
Mac could hardly suppress her emotions, tears beginning to fill her strong eye, not only at seeing him, but seeing what they had done to him. Why couldn't she have gotten to him sooner?
Bending down, she took his set of dog tags off her neck and placed them around his neck gently, kissed him, and whispered gently, "I never left you."
Harm could only offer a weak smile, though glowing underneath the sudden safety and comfort of his rescue, of Mac's love. And under all of that, he finally felt himself slip into unconsciousness, allowing the exhaustion and pain to take him into a much-needed deep sleep.
And because of this, he didn't hear the medi-vac land close by, didn't feel his body being raised inside, didn't feel a kiss to his cheek, Mac's lips to his ear, nor did he hear her words, her whisper.
"Ask me again, I'll say yes."
... One more chapter left ...
... I hope all have enjoyed this ...
... Reviews most definitely welcome ...