Now That's Scary

Chapter Two: Words Work Wonders

Disclaimer: The Nightmare Before Christmas is not mine, which is probably a good thing.

This story was intended as a one-shot, but after reading the reviews, I decided to continue it. So, thanks to everyone who reviewed. Believe me, I'll be quoting/paraphrasing some of my reviewers in this chapter.

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When we last left off, Jack had just explained the perfectly logical rules of his fandom to the fanfictionists. Unfortunately, they did not seem quite pleased with the help they had just received.

"Jack?" inquired a woman in the back row. "If you're such a skeleton, how come you have a tongue? You stuck it out at Lock, Shock, and Barrel. And how come you can see us? You don't have any eyes. And how did you get to read these fics in the first place?"

These questions did not surprise Jack very much, as they were bound to be asked of him eventually.

"It's not my fault I have a tongue. And, to be honest, I don't know why I have one, or how I can see without eyes. Ask Tim Burton. By the way, Tim Burton was online a while ago, and he was reading some fan fiction or something. That's how come I got to read them." They'd never believe the real story, Jack thought. Wait a minute—how did I get online?

"Where does the author of this fanfic stand on the Lock/Shock pairing?" asked a younger girl.

"She has no particular opinion on it, although she does wonder how Barrel feels about it."

"Huh!" said the girl. (The one who asked the question, that is.)

Another girl spoke. "Although I enjoyed your little rant, how can you do all that human-like stuff if you're a skeleton? Ya know—singing, walking, talking, experiencing emotions, and all that jazz."

"First, I was a human before I died. And secondly, I may be physically dead, but I'm not really dead on the inside. Sadly enough, a whole lot of people are the other way around."

This statement caused a slight commotion among the fanfictionists, who thought it (the statement) was directed at them.

"WHAT?!" shouted a male audience member.

"I don't believe you!" exclaimed a female.

"Whoa, whoa! Calm down. I wasn't talking about you."

The girl who asked the previous question resumed speaking. "If those kids mentioned in the author's notes aren't yours, then whose are they? And does it really matter?"

"It was a joke." Jack would have added more, but he didn't dare, for fear of offending the entire audience even more than he already had. (Not that what he would have said was really that offensive.)

Yet another girl raised her hand. "Why would you tell us off like you did if we love you enough to write stories about your fandom?"

Jack hesitated momentarily, then said what had been on his mind for an inordinate amount of time. "Because if you really loved me, you would treat this fandom with more respect."

"How is writing the typical romantic fan fiction disrespecting this fandom?" asked a boy.

"Well, perhaps it's not disrespect, per se. But writing those usual marriage-related stories and accepting them as the truth closes up other possibilities."

The audience looked rather puzzled. Some of them did, anyway.

"I see that some of you are getting confused," noted Jack. "Allow me to reintroduce you to someone who can explain this better than I can." He focused in the direction of stage left, then said "Come on out!"

Sally stepped out from behind a curtain. The audience burst into moderately wild applause.

"You want me to take over?" she asked Jack.

"Of course," Jack said as he exited stage right.

"Okay," Sally muttered as she took her place at the podium. "So…from what I understand, I'm supposed to explain to you about other kinds of fan fiction you could be writing. I've heard that you like to write stories where Jack and I are married and have children."

Several of the people in attendance verbally confirmed Sally's statement.

"Oh, absolutely," said a blonde, green-eyed girl.

"You bet we do!" exclaimed a redheaded boy with blue eyes.

"Yep," answered a female brunette.

"Uh-huh," replied a brown-eyed, blonde male.

Sally was not at all surprised. "I'm flattered. But, as you've heard, writing that kind of stuff tends to crowd out alternatives. For instance, a fan fiction where Jack and I want to have children but don't know how to do it could be a pretty interesting story. In fact, you'd probably get a lot of reviews for a work like that."

The authors grinned at the prospect of receiving reviews.

"You could write something that discusses the reactions of the other characters," continued Sally. "What does Doctor Finkelstein think? What does the Mayor think? What do the other females in the town think? Stuff like that. And yes, the author of this fic has read Nobody Likes a Snitch.

"Or you could write a piece where Jack and I each think about our situation of being a couple. It wouldn't need to be really fluffy, but it could be deep. Maybe it could have a theme of some sort.

"Hey—who says that the relationship-related fics in this fandom have to be the same ones every time? It's always either Jack and me or Lock and Shock. Except for that Lock/Barrel fanfic, Nevermind the Complicated Stuff, but it's not completed yet. I'm sure you've heard that pets can get jealous of their owner's lovers, so why not have a one-sided platonic Zero/Jack story?

"And forgive me for saying so, but Suethors do not belong to the audience Tim Burton wanted to have. There are ways to tell if your character is a Mary Sue or Gary Stu in this fandom. Just follow the advice Jack gave you in the first chapter."

A girl raised her hand. "Are you just sayin' this 'cause of the author's opinion on the you-and-Jack pairing, Sally?"

"If you mean to ask if I'm speaking because the author doesn't like the Jack/Sally pairing, no. The author actually likes that pairing quite a lot, although she was somewhat disappointed with the ending when she first saw the movie."

At that moment, a slightly older girl rose from her seat. "Hey! We don't want to hear about the author's stupid junk! Why can't there be a really good chapter that makes this story look like a real fanfic?"

Sally smiled. "There will be a chapter that makes this story look like a real fanfic. More than one, actually. One of them may even be sort of romantic. Just wait and see."

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Sorry if this chapter wasn't as funny as the first, but I wanted to get some reviewers' questions out of the way.

Hardly anyone will find this interesting, but I have a pinstripe suit that looks almost identical to Jack Skellington's. It's better than having a licensed shirt.

NEXT TIME: The next chapter will involve either a trip to the Halloween Town library or romance of some sort. It depends on my mood, really.