Dismal Angel 2010 - Episode 25

Chapter 3: Not Again

Remy had been on his way towards the foyer when he heard the retching sound of someone in the downstairs bathroom nearby, curiously, he sauntered towards the bathroom, the door lay half open, and he glanced in nosily, seeing Kitty leaning over the toilet.

"Morning sickness at night?" he asked curiously.

Kitty Pryde jumped, having not heard his approach, she groaned, "Yeah. Some of the kids were eating pepperoni pizza…the smell…ugh."

"Yeah, I heard that happens…" Remy nodded, "Belle used to get sick whenever anyone nearby was eating food with Ketchup – she said it was because the smell was always strong. I read that pregnant women's senses are heightened, which is why the smells seem all the more stronger…"

Kitty brought up another small bout of vomit, and then sighed in relief as it seemed to be over with. "I wish my senses were incredibly dulled," she groaned.

"You okay?" Remy asked, he moved over.

"Just dandy-o," she said sarcastically, she flushed the toilet, put down the lid and sat upon it slowly, "God I hope this isn't going to be like this all through the pregnancy until December," she sighed, she'd gone a very sickly white colour with her nausea.

"I'm sure it won't be," he touched her back, "You look kind of peaked."

"Yeah, I always heard that pregnant women were meant to glow…does glowing with sweat count?" Kitty wiped her face with her sleeve.

Remy gave a tiny smile, he felt sympathetic towards her, and wished there was more he could do.

"You needin' to pee?" Kitty asked, realising he'd been standing there a long time, and there didn't seem to be much other reason for him to be standing in the bathroom.

"Actually, I wanted to talk to you about something," he shrugged, "I'm thinkin' of takin' off tonight…" he sighed.

"Huh?" Kitty turned on the faucet to take a sip of water to rinse her mouth out, she leaned sideways into the sink from where she was sitting, and put her mouth under the faucet.

"Me and Rogue started fightin' again…" He confessed after a moment.

Kitty spit the water into the sink in an almost choke of shock, "Oh no, no no no no!" she leaned up, "No, not again."

"Yes, again," he sighed, "and maybe it's for the best, because…I have to break away somehow long enough to help Betsy find Sinister."

"No, you don't. You and Rogue DON'T need to be broken up to find Sinister."

"Betsy says I'll be distracted by my relationship with Rogue if I am together with her…" he admitted.

"And you believe her?"

"I know she's right," Remy said, "I'm more distracted by my relationship with her when I AM together with her than I am when I'm not…"

Kitty turned the faucet off, frowning at him, "Remy LeBeau…" she breathed heavily, she tried to control her anger, "I did not fuck a geek on a computer chair and wind up pregnant by him just so that you can go break up with Rogue any time you want!"

"Calm down…" Remy said softly.

"I will not calm down! I have put SO much work into your relationship! If I'd put HALF as much energy and sacrifice into my own MAYBE Piotr would still be here, I don't know…all I know is I'm not going to let you just walk away from this!"

"Kitty…"
Kitty's eyes glimmered with tears, "You can't leave her, and you can't leave me...she needs you here, and I need you here…you're the only one of us who's gone through this baby thing…I can't do this without you, Remy…"

"What about my obligation to Psylocke?" Remy asked, pointedly.

"Screw your obligations to her!!" Kitty yelled, "screw finding this stupid Sinister guy!" she sucked in a breath, "you are not going to just walk out of here like you always do!"

Remy took a hold of her arms and held her still to calm her, "Petit, It's important that I get Sinister too…" he said quietly, "if you knew HALF of what that bastard put me through—"

"How can I know? How can ANYONE know? Every time the subject of Sinister is brought up you close like a clam! You don't talk about it! If it was THAT important you find him you'd have at least asked US for help, you'd have gotten us involved, you'd have told us about it by now!"

"It isn't relevant to the team," Remy retorted quickly.

"Why not?" she demanded.

"Because it's personal…"

"And we aren't good enough to KNOW about your personal life?!" she demanded.

"Some things are just TOO close to the heart," Remy uttered, "Some things just hurt too much…" he looked away, "some things…are just too shameful to tell about."

Kitty broke away from him, "are you crazy? After all you've done for me, after all you know about me, how could I ever think anything you've done in your past is shameful?"

"Can you just drop it already?" Remy asked, he put his hand to his head, her shrill voice was beginning to make his brain feel as if it might split down the centre like a peanut.

Kitty tried to calm herself, she realised how terrible these moods were, and it wasn't something she could really help, "what did you and Rogue fight about anyway?"

"We had words," Remy responded, he headed towards the door.

Kitty grabbed his arm to stop him, "what 'words'?" she raised an eyebrow.

"Words like my saying something she did made me feel a little 'cheap' came into it and then she said – ever so coldly - 'With the amount of whores you've screwed and the things you've done in the sack, I'd think you'd be used to that by now'. Basically implying how much of a complete and utter male slut I am…" he frowned.

Kitty blinked, it certainly sounded like something Rogue might say, but certainly not to Remy's face, "why would she say something like that?" she asked.

"You know, it's her favourite pass-time. Bringing up the past so she can hurt me with it."

"You two are so fucking warped, it's unreal," Kitty rolled her large blue eyes, wondering just how far Remy and Rogue's relationship would have gone without her intervention and decided that it would probably be not very far at all. "Go to your room, I'll talk with her, find out what the hell all this is really about."

Rogue had barely gotten into her own bedroom when Kitty had entered without knocking. Rogue turned in surprise, and forced a smile, "hey," she said, although she certainly didn't feel as bright as her voice sounded when she said it.

"What did you say to Remy? He's upset…" Kitty folded her arms.

"He's the one who started this whole thing, Kitty, don't start yelling at me, I'm just not in the mood right now for more yelling."

Kitty frowned and stood staring at her friend, her eyes burning with anger.

Rogue sighed, "I might have said something I didn't mean, it just came out, how was I to know he was going to take it so…personally?"
"Because he's fragile," Kitty said pointedly, "c'mon, Rogue, look at him, he's gone through a hell of a lot in his life. Sure, so have you, but unlike you, he didn't have all of us to support him."

"So?" Rogue asked as she sat down on the bed and began to slip off her stiletto heels.

"So…he's been alone all his life, and it's a miracle he's survived through manic depression this long without…" Kitty swallowed, "killing himself."

"He's a fighter," Rogue shrugged, "he always has been."

"Rogue, what is with this attitude? You were madly in love with him only four weeks ago, now you're acting like you can't stand being around him or something…" Kitty trailed off.

Rogue shrugged again, she looked away, "I don't know. I just…I get this very weird feeling every time he touches me…" she shivered.

"Like?" Kitty demanded abrasively.

"I don't know, like I don't want him touching me anymore…" Rogue shivered again, she looked away. "It's weird, Kitty. I've never felt like that around him before…I felt, almost like, I don't know, he were trying to hurt me or something…"

"Remy has NO intentions of ever hurting you," Kitty stated.

Rogue raised her eyes to her friend, "is Remy the father of your baby?"

"That's a popular theory in this place," Kitty sighed, "but no. He's not. I'll tell you about that LATER, the issue right now is if you and Remy have ANY kind of a future together and whether I can – once again – patch up whatever tear you guys have put in your relationship. I swear, by now your whole love life looks like a quilt, I think I've done most of the sewing or something."

Rogue sighed, "Maybe I'm just tired…or maybe it's just, I don't know, something to do with Carol's having taken over me, I feel very strange, Kitty. Not at all myself – and my whole life has been changed, my room, my clothes…and now I feel differently too."

"You still love Remy, don't you?" Kitty asked softly.

"I…" Rogue hesitated, and she had to ask herself, "I think I'm just maybe in a slump or something," she said.

"That wasn't what I asked…"

"I don't have a proper answer for that yet," Rogue confessed, "of course…I still, y'know, have feelings, but I'm beginning to wonder if it's love or…something else."

"Something else?" Kitty asked, she was beginning to feel very horrified with all this. All the hard work she'd put into helping Rogue find Remy so they could be together, and now Rogue was talking about whether she knew she loved Remy or not. "What do you mean something else?"

"Sometimes, I wonder, just…every now and then…if this whole thing with me and Remy is just a stupid addiction I never managed to break…when he's there, I can't help myself, and I say I love him, but sometimes I can't…help hating him…"

"That's normal. I broke up with Piotr…I still hate him and yet…I still love him…that's how it goes. You can't just have one emotion when you're in a relationship with someone. Emotions come hand in hand, sadness and happiness, contentedness and restlessness, hate and love. It's all connected."

"But if this was undeniably love, wouldn't it JUST be love? Wouldn't I just be content?" Rogue asked, "no matter WHAT I do, I can't be content with him, sooner or later, I get these horrible memories that keep coming back to remind me of all the stupid things he's done."

Kitty sat beside Rogue, "Rogue, you've done some pretty stupid things yourself…"

Rogue rolled her eyes, "Nothing like him."

"Oh?" Kitty folded her arms, "how about…Jared."

"God, don't bring up this all over again."

"No, I have to," Kitty insisted, "because Remy's not the only one here who's made mistakes and there's plenty he could bring up to bite you in the ass with but he doesn't."

"Jared is the only mistake I ever made…" Rogue responded dourly.

"Nearly killing yourself over Genevieve…Remy's ex-wife who he only married so she could get a greencard," Kitty held up a finger. "Instead of trying to work things out with Remy, you doped yourself up on MutantX and went to a nightclub – do I NEED to say what happened then?" she reminded, "that's two things already…" she added, "Plus Jared that's three…"

"Fine, three mistakes. How many has Remy made, huh?" Rogue demanded, "Trying to blow my frickin' hand off the first time we met, Not telling me he conned Carol Danvers into joining Magneto, not telling me he was married, sleeping with Bella Donna, sleeping with some girl on Muir Island, decidin' to go ahead and have a baby with Bella Donna even though she wanted an abortion—"

"That's an unfair statement," Kitty said, and she touched her own stomach, "sometimes, you have to do the right thing, and that was just that. He was doing the right thing."

"Accidentally killin' Jared and THEN just disappearing for almost seven years," Rogue added coldly. "I could go on all week telling you about the things he's done."

Kitty shook her head, "you are so beyond help sometimes," she got up. "I know you love him, so you better speak to him before you screw up this whole relationship and regret it for the rest of your life…" she uttered, she headed towards the door, "you'll find Remy in his room. Night," she said coldly, and she left slamming the door.

As Kitty was walking down the hall, she didn't hear the soft laughter coming from Elizabeth Braddock's room.