Dismal Angel 2010 - Episode 25

Chapter 6: Reconciliation

Rogue had searched all over the mansion for Remy, and had not had much luck. After changing into her pyjamas, she'd decided to take one more quick look before going to bed. Otherwise, she felt she might not be able to sleep until this whole business was dealt with.

She finally located Remy LeBeau in the Library of the mansion. It was now very late, and the library was almost in total darkness save the vague orangey glow of the wall lights that imitated candle sconces. Remy was sitting at the table near the window, the chair tilted back, his boots up on the table, his arms were folded and he was staring towards the window almost wistfully.

"Hey," Rogue said softly, she closed the door behind herself and walked over slowly. She examined the way the shadows set upon his handsome features, the way his hair was half silhouetted, the way the floodlights from outside had caused a tiny flicker of light to highlight his nose. "What're you doin' in here?" she asked in an almost timid and somewhat childish voice.

"Figured it was the one place you wouldn't find me," Remy replied rather cheekily, he turned and looked at her, "I'm not exactly the intellectual type so I didn't think you'd come here looking for me."

Rogue moved over to the table, "You're still mad at me?" she asked concernedly.

"Honestly, I just don't know. I don't want to be mad. I feel too tired to be mad, and let there's this little slither of anger that's just naggin' its way into me and won't let me be."

"So…you're not as mad as you were then?"

"I guess not," Remy put his feet down and sighed. "Still hurts, though," he confessed, and he meant it still. It did hurt. It was almost the same feeling he'd imagine if a parent told you they hated you, or if your best friend had betrayed you and slept with your wife – that kind of hurt.

"I'm sorry…I really am…" Rogue chewed her lip, she looked down at him.

Remy raised his head and looked up at her, "I know y'are, Chere, I know."

"I know…it wasn't the nicest thing to say, especially since you got so many bad things goin' on in your head," she reached over and touched his cheek with her gloved fingers.

Remy looked away, "I should have just taken it with a pinch of salt. I know what you said is true…"

"Sssh…" Rogue murmured, she put her gloved finger upon his lips. "What I said was wrong…and I can't be sorry enough."

Remy just looked at her, but didn't speak another word of it.

Rogue sat upon his lap, and put her arm around his shoulders, "We okay now?"

"We're okay," he sighed, now realising that his plans for leaving with Betsy were going to have to wait out the month ahead. That meant he was going to have to find another way to break away from her for a while without jeopardising the relationship. Granted, leaving now would have definitely jeopardised the relationship. She'd have hated him just walking out on her – again - but at least the break had already somewhat been made and he could worry about repairing it later on. It would have been easier to walk away, if only he'd had the guts to leave. But he hadn't. He hadn't been able to tear himself away, because he was too afraid it might be his last chance.

He vaguely recalled there being some agreement this was the final chance

Rogue brushed his hair away from his face, "I love you," she murmured, she kissed the tips of her gloved fingertips and then brushed them gently against his forehead.

"I love you too, Chere," he replied, and he meant it, and found himself somewhat wondering how many times he'd said the words 'I love you' during his life and having truly meant it. He came up with the answer that any time he'd ever said it to Rogue, he'd meant it. Any other time, not a chance in hell he ever had.

Tentatively, Remy put his arms around Rogue to hold her around the waist. As he did so, Rogue couldn't help but feel strangely threatened by this, and so she got up slowly, "I'm really tired," she yawned. "I'm gonna go to bed…"

"Okay," Remy said, he didn't even seem to notice how she had ever so slightly flinched away from him. "Night…" he sighed, and watched her leave the room.

Kitty had been lying in bed when an abrupt knock at the door disturbed her from almost dozing off with a book in her hands. She sat up a little straighter, moving her hair from her face. She thought it would be Remy, or perhaps Rogue, because there seemed no other reason for anyone else to see her except from her two closest friends. She was however, surprised when it wasn't.

She called out, "come in," and was completely astonished to see Kurt Wagner step into the room, looking somewhat sheepish, his hair mussed as if he had been lying in bed tossing and turning unable to sleep, his eyes were slightly tired, and his fine blue fur was somewhat awry.

Kitty sat up even straighter, her blue eyes widening, "Kurt…" she said, her voice betraying no surprise whatsoever, "is…is something wrong?" she asked, her voice hesitant, her tone almost childlike.

Kurt closed the door behind himself, "I…I can't sleep," he said softly, "I keep thinking…about this."

"About what?" Kitty asked, she folded her legs under herself from beneath the blankets, she put her book on the bedside cabinet to her right, she placed her hands primly on her lap.

"About this…you…and the baby."

Kitty shrugged, but couldn't find a comment for this. She wasn't sure what to say, because she and Kurt had not spoken to each other as anything other than unfamiliar colleagues ever since he'd told her still loved her.

"I just…can't believe it…I mean, you, pregnant," he said, he looked at her with his silvery yellow eyes, his expression ever so slightly severe.

"I don't want to hear it, I know everyone can't believe it, I must look like a complete whore to everyone in the mansion, and I'll deal with it, but I don't want to hear them say it. Hearing is the worst part," Kitty looked away.

"I don't think that, I just think…I don't know, I feel bad."

"You do?" Kitty raised an eyebrow.

"The others told me that Piotr left you in the Lurch…because of the baby."

"Actually it was because I kept it a secret from him," Kitty sighed.

"He did?" Kurt seemed quite shocked, "I thought he might have been more understanding if he…if he loved you."

Kitty sighed, "I guess our love wasn't was strong as we both thought. Maybe it was nothing more than mere infatuation, how do I know?" she looked down at her hands.

Kurt paused, "Kitty…we've been…estranged for so long, that…I'm not sure if any kind of reconciliation is possible in reference to our friendship," he reached over and took her hand within his, Kitty hadn't touched his hand in so long she's forgotten how different the skin of his palm felt compared to the skin of any other man. The skin of Kurt's hands felt rougher, mostly due to the amount of acrobatics he did on a daily basis, his hands had grown calloused, and tougher. There was something almost comforting about his touch. She'd forgotten just how comforting it was.

Kitty was unsure she could say anything else, she certainly hadn't expected Kurt to come back to try and reconcile their friendship at all, he'd seemed so angry with her. Hadn't he said he couldn't be her friend whilst having those feelings for her, because it hurt too much to be around her?

"I know I've been a complete…" he faltered, unsure of how to put it.

"Asshole?" Kitty asked.

"Right," Kurt nodded almost too enthusiastically, "but…I just…I don't know…I don't want you to go through this by yourself…"

He's guilty, Kitty thought worriedly, guilty and sorry for me because Piotr abandoned me. "But I won't be going through this alone, I have Remy, and he's been great," she admitted.

"Kitty…" Kurt said quietly, "I know your feelings for me aren't likely to change now – or ever. And I know I was stupid to just drop it all out of spite because I couldn't have things the way I wanted…but…even if things can't be the way they were…I'd like to somehow try and repair the friendship…"

Kitty looked away again, she glanced to a scented lit candle that sat upon the windowsill, the window was open and the soft breeze would slightly stir the candleflame, making it flicker. "I don't know if that's possible, Kurt…y'know a lot has changed…"

"I know that," he sighed, "I know I messed up – but can you blame me from being hurt?" he asked. "You're the love of my life…" his voice was somewhat desperate. "The thought of being near you every day and not being able to kiss you…" he sighed, "it's like, torture. But now I realise I'd rather have you as a friend than not have you at all…"

Kitty sighed, "but…your…just…dropping me like you did, it kind of hurt, Kurt…it hurt A LOT."

"I know, and I'm sorry, but…I can't stand this…and now knowing you're pregnant…I don't want you to go through this totally alone…and if I can do anything I can to help…I will."

"There's nothing you can do to help," Kitty touched her stomach absently.

"Kitty, I'll do anything, I'd even pretend to be the baby's father if that was what you wanted, I just…I want to be a part of your life again. I hate feeling shut out, seeing you and Remy together, best friends and all…I miss being your best friend, I miss hanging out with you the way he does."

Kitty was somewhat touched by what he'd said, she wondered though when push come to shove, would he really take responsibility as the role of the father if she asked him to? Did he really care for her that might? It made her heart flutter in a way she hadn't felt for him in a very long time. "That's sweet…but…"

"Don't say but…" he said softly, "Just…think about it…Piotr walked out, but I won't do that – EVER."

"But you walked AWAY from me," Kitty reminded.

"But I didn't walk out."

Kitty realised this was true, he had always been there, and he would look out for her, and he had tried to many times, it was just she'd tried not to see it that way. "Okay," she said softly, "I'll think about it…bein' your friend again I mean…but that's all, I'm not makin' any promises, okay?"

"Okay," Kurt nodded and smiled.

"Now get out of my room, I want to sleep," Kitty said grumpily, and that night, she slept entirely soundly for the first time in a very, very long time.

The End (or is it? DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN).

Thanks to everyone who reviews as usual, and thanks to Aro who is my little personal assistant (and number one fan I think!). Thanks everyone.